Bittersweet Trust (7 page)

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Authors: J. L. Beck

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Short Stories & Anthologies, #Short Stories, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College, #Contemporary Fiction, #Single Authors

BOOK: Bittersweet Trust
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I consider his words for a moment. “Are you telling me she did this on purpose?” If so, I’ll….

“I’m not telling you she did anything. I’m simply reminding you that if you can hurt her, she can hurt you too. You’re not nearly as inhuman as you like to think.”

“I never said…”

“You didn’t have to. Everyone can tell by the way you act,” he interrupts.

“This is fucking….”

“Stupid?” Rex interrupts again. If he interrupts me one more fucking time, I’m going to beat him into oblivion.

“Yes. The whole relationship with her is stupid. The fact that I still even love her after all of this is stupid. Why can’t I force myself to move on?”

“If you were meant to move on, you already would’ve.” I know exactly what he is saying. It is the same thing I always say to Mimi. Our love is inevitable; there is nothing that we can do to stop ourselves from falling…

“God must think I’m a saint if He keeps forcing us together.” I take a seat on one of the steps, no longer feeling as if I have the strength to stand. The anger that was red hot within me has now diminished to nothing but a fiery ash. If anything, I’m angry with myself.

“Not really…” I can almost see the smile on Rex’s face when he speaks. “It just means that you keep fighting against what really needs to happen. Take a step back and look around. Sometimes the easiest way to see things is to remove yourself from the picture altogether.”

What he’s saying makes some sense to me. Then again, it’s as foreign as the Spanish language to me.

“When did you become such a wise ass?” I ask, smirking at my own remark like a jackass.

“Oh, I don’t know… Probably when some asshole tormented my girlfriend into a shell of a person and I had to do everything I could to pull her out of it. Learn from this, Corey. Realize just how much your words can hurt someone else… If it hurt you when Mimi said those things to you, imagine how much it hurt her hearing them come from you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I never did…”

“No one ever means to do anything. Just learn from it.”

“Yeah.”

“I have to go. Call me later, man.” The line goes dead, and I pull the phone from my ear, my eyes scanning over the drab, brown carpet. I need to learn from my mistakes. Not only that but I need to right my wrongs. And boy, do I have a lot of fucking wrongs!

 

That’s Going to Hurt

 

Mimi

 

The second the door closes behind him, tears start streaming down my cheeks. The click of the door makes it sound like I’ve actually closed the door on everything we ever had. I walk into my bedroom and grab my phone to call Jenna.

Hitting the call key, the phone rings and rings until an out of breath Jenna answers. “Hello?” she huffs out as if she just ran a triathlon. I don’t even want to know what she and Rex were doing.

“I did it…” I cry into the phone. My emotions are all over the place, and I can’t even believe that I did what I did or said what I said. I will never be able to erase the look on his face from my mind.

“Did it work?” she asks.

“Yes. I think so,“ I say, finding my voice. I hate myself right now. I hate that I had to push him away.

There’s a shifting of what sounds like blankets, and then she says “We’ll find out soon, then, won’t we? He had to hear those things, Mimi. I know it’s tough, but making him jealous would’ve done nothing but make the situation worse. Corey has a habit of beating the shit out of things, physically and verbally. Now that he has nothing, or no one, to hit, he has to take what you said and process it.”

We decided against the whole make-Corey-jealous-with-Declan plan for two reasons. One, Declan is actually starting to turn out to be a good friend, and two, well, it is just immature to use someone else. I don’t want anyone else getting their feelings hurt.

“I know it was the right thing to do, but that doesn’t make it any easier.” My voice cracks as more tears fall from my eyes.

“It had to be done, Mimi. Sometimes love is tough.” Her voice is hard and unfeeling, not to be mean but to teach me a lesson.

“I just want it to work out; I just want him to love me and for us to be happy!” I bellow into the phone. My heart is aching as my mind wonders if he’ll ever come back to me.

“And it will, one way or another. Corey is a fighter, you and I both know that. Nothing worth fighting for is easy. He needed to hear those words come from your mouth; he needed to know that he’s losing you and what that feels like. Corey has to feel the awful depths of torment before he can find it within himself to stop being the tormentor.”

I wipe away at my tears, pulling the blanket up to my chest. My stomach grows bigger and bigger every day, as does the gaping hole in my chest. Without Corey here, it’s as if I’ve lost the most important part of me.

“Jenna, I need him! I need him like the air I’m breathing. I can’t carry on without him. What if what I just did was the final nail in the coffin? What if I lose him because of my own stupidity?” I express, pounding my hand into the mattress.

“He has to find his own way back to you, Mimi. If it’s meant to be, it’ll find a way to be.”

“Easy for you to say since you already have your happy ever after,” I scoff, not really thinking about what I’m saying. More or less, I just want to lash out at someone, and Jenna is an available target.

“You’re right. I do. BUT it wasn’t without pain, anger, and forgiveness. I know Corey has it in him to make it back to you. He’ll find his way.”

“I sure hope so…” I sniffle into the phone.

“Get some sleep and call me later,” Jenna tells me, signaling the end of our conversation. I release my cell, dropping it onto the mattress. I lean back against the pillows, letting my hands find my baby within my belly.

“Don’t worry, little one, Mommy will find a way to make this work.” It’s not my baby who should be worrying about losing Corey, though. It’s me.

***

After taking a copious amount of days off to wallow in my sorrows and stare at Ian Somerhalder, I finally decide it is time to return to school. I walk back into class with a smile proudly on my face despite the fact that I am dying on the inside.

I instantly scan the auditorium, my eyes landing on Corey’s empty seat. Dread seeps into every pore. Did he drop from the class just because of me? The guy he always sits next to isn’t there either so maybe they’re just running late. I walk up the stairs, finding my seat next to Declan.

“Could you make it any more obvious that you’re looking for him?” he observes, giving me a smile. I smile back, trying to brush off the embarrassment.

“I wasn’t looking for him,” I lie, setting my books down on the table.

“Mimi, don’t lie to me,” Declan responds, his hand landing on mine. I look down at it and then back up at his face. He is gorgeous, but his hair isn’t brown, and his eyes don’t make me melt, and his touch doesn’t make me want to jump his bones. In other words, he isn’t Corey.

“I wasn’t lying,” I utter, pulling my hand out from under his. It feels wrong, even if Corey and I aren’t together at the moment.

“You should just…” Declan’s words are cut off as some guy drops his books onto the table next to ours.

“She should just what?” A voice I know all too well says. I don’t have to turn around to know Corey will be standing there. I smile inside, knowing he is here for me and hoping this is a sign that he will fight for us, for me.

Declan looks at me, his eyes growing wide. Last time he and Corey had any interaction, it ended up being a huge disaster.

“Never mind,” Declan mumbles, turning to face the board. Class is about to start, and the tension in the room is going to suffocate me.

“Is he the guy you’re with?” Corey asks, a scary venom is in his voice. One look at him tells me he’s on the defensive, ready to strike at any moment.

“No, he’s not. I’m not with anyone, but even if I was, it wouldn’t matter.” I let the words flow freely from my mouth while wanting nothing more than to hold them in. Jenna’s advice comes back to me, and I know I have to follow through with our plan until the end. It’s the only way…

Corey glowers at me, his eyes stopping at my stomach. His look makes me feel self-conscious; it’s as if he’s examining me.

“Oh, it matters, Mimi. It will always matter.” I try my hardest to ignore his presence, turning to face the board so I can at least take some notes. I pick up my pen and start scribbling some of the chicken scratch down, not really aware of what I’m writing.

“Deny me all you want, Mimi, but I promise you that I’ll start all of this over again. I’ll make you hate me so much that you won’t be able to forget about me for a second…” His words are menacing, laced in his own hate and fury.

I feel my panties growing wet with every ill-mannered word that comes out of his mouth, but I don’t care. I don’t care that he still has a hold, or effect, on me.

“Threatening me gets you nowhere, Corey. You, of all people, should know I’m submissive to no one.” I put anger into my own words before spitting them at him.

One of this fingers reaches out, wrapping around a strand of my hair. My insides quiver with a need, and he hasn’t even touched my skin…

“You’re submissive to me,” he croons in my ear, his hot breath going straight to my core. My insides are trembling, remembering the way he eats me out, how he fucks me until I’m a hot mess…

Silence passes as I try my hardest to ignore him. My body betrays me, though. It’s as if I can sense his every movement - the way his chest moves when he takes in a breath, the way he shifts his legs, the way his hand grips his pen.

“I assure you that my heart is, in fact, broken. Your point has been made, my dear Mimi. Now, it’s my turn…” Corey informs me.

My head is spinning with the meaning behind his words. His turn? I just don’t get it. Is it possible that he figured it out? Is it possible that he knows and he’s playing me too?

“Remember those games we used to play back in the day? How you would fool me every single time?” I say nothing, pretending I don’t hear him. “Well, I plan on bringing it tenfold. Prepare yourself, baby, because you’re playing a losing game.”

I turn, looking at him like I never have before, completely taken aback by his words. What is he up to? Just a few days ago he was a complete and utter mess when he left my apartment. Now, it’s as if he’s a new person.

“I’m not playing any games with you…” I protest, intending to turn around but not really wanting to.

A smile that melts me into a fucking puddle shows on his face “You’ve been playing games with me since the beginning, Mimi Jones. It’s now time to own up to them.”

I’m dying inside to tell him it’s game on, but at the same time, I’m confused as to what he’s up to.

“Assignments are due Monday. Anything that is late with be reduced by ten percent each day,” our professor explains to the class. I almost miss what he’s saying because I feel a hand trace against my thigh under the table.

I glare at Corey. The asshole would try something here. I brush his hand off, scooting closer to Declan. A fire burns fiercely in Corey’s eyes… I thrive off of it, and my heart beat increases, all the blood in me pooling everywhere but my brain.

“You’re playing a very dangerous game, love,” he warns, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I know.”

The professor continues to talk, but all I can think about is getting out of here as fast as I can the second he dismisses us. Well, that and the way Corey’s fingers feel trailing over my jean clad thigh…

“I know you’re thinking about it….” he utters, his teeth biting into his bottom lip. Fuck, I can feel my ovaries exploding already.

“Is asshole bothering you?” Declan asks, his voice the reasoning I need to remind me that this is a very different side of Corey. He has always been aggressive and possessive, but now it’s as if he won’t take no for an answer. It’s as if he’s determined to show me why we are better together than apart.

I direct my attention to Declan, wondering when the professor is going to start bitching because we’re talking so loudly.

“Don’t…” I start to say, but am interrupted by a caveman, AKA Corey- fucking-Winchester.

“Didn’t I tell you once before that she’s mine?” Corey menacingly questions. His eyebrow is raised at Declan, and I feel like I’m in the middle of a UFC fight that’s about to occur.

“Let’s not do this here,” I plead, anxiety filling my voice. The last thing we need is to be kicked out of class.

“Didn’t I tell you once before that real men don’t leave their women when they find out they’re pregnant? It doesn’t matter what kind of bullshit you’re going through in your life, she and that baby come first. Always.” There’s a finalization in the way Declan says always.

And like the idiot I am, I sit there like a gazelle between two male lions whose faces are filled with an all-consuming rage. I know why Corey feels the way he does, but I’m puzzled by the way Declan is acting.

“Stop!” I demand, turning to Corey. My gaze swings around the room as a small amount of classmates begin observing our argument.

He gives me a bewildered look before saying, “You want me to stop? Something tells me that’s doubtful, baby… As for that asshole over there, he needs to take a couple steps back before I make him.” Corey’s words are directed at Declan even though he’s looking at me.

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