Bittersweet Revenge (12 page)

            “You used Rex. You used me. You’ve used everyone here. You made me think that I would get that happily ever after, you gave me what I wanted most and then ripped it away.” I can’t hide the sadness in my voice any longer.

            “Jenna, it was all real. My feelings they were real, I only agreed to help Corey in the beginning and then I got to know you and I started falling for you. I wanted you. I still want you. I love you.” I feel the honesty and sincerity in his voice. I feel the love, the conviction, but it doesn’t change things. You don’t lie to people you love. You don’t use people you love.

            “Those things don’t matter Rex, none of them do. As far as there being an “us”… well you’re dead to me. I trusted you… you told me I could trust you and this is what I got. I will never trust you again, and like I told you before without trust there is nothing. Which means there is no us. There is no you and me, and there never will be.” Saying the words hurt more than thinking them. I feel a gaping hole in my chest start to form. It fuses with the tissues, muscles and organs of my body and I know from then on out, it will always be there. There’s a small piece of me that will always be left bleeding wide open.  Nothing will ever be able to feel the void of loving Rex.

            “Jenna no… “I see the agonizing pain I’ve caused him and I block it out, not allowing myself to feel weak for him anymore. A smug look marks Corey’s face and I know he got exactly what he wanted. Tears burn in my eyes as I try and hold them back. I let one slide down my face in memory of the love I found.  The beauty of it realizing that I’m better than these people holding this anger and hate inside is what eats me alive.

            “Don’t do this Jenna. I know this isn’t what you want. I can make it better, I can leave. I’ll do whatever you want just don’t leave me.” The begging in his voice is hard not to give into but I will myself to stay strong. With time the pain will ease and this moment will be nothing but a flash of memory later down the road.

            “You're right this isn’t what I ever wanted. But you did. You had the chance to tell me and you never did. You used me. You made that choice for us, so now I’m making my own choice.” I say as if detached from the world. The whole situation has made me numb to anything someone could say to hurt me.

            I take a look around the parking lot at all the piss poor excuses of people. Most of which will never leave this town, and the way they bullied me and hated me and I realize I still have something to say.

            “This has made me realize something, holding onto to this anger and hate… it does nothing for me. It eats away at me, burning my insides and making me no better than the rest of you. It’s dawned on me with all of this happening, and being so eaten up and sad over all of this, I’ve buried myself alive. I’ve let these things consume me… and that stops now. I’m sorry Corey that my mom betrayed you and ruined your family, but that’s not my fault and I refuse to hold onto this hate. This is me letting it go, this is me becoming a new person.”

There’s a few profound gasp, and a slow clap. I feel the tears streaming down my face as I look over at Mimi, and a smile shows on her face. I look up into the sky, the sun bearing down on us. Its warmth covering me in a blanket and for the first time in forever, it feels like everything is going to be okay, even if I don’t have Rex by my side.

Epilogue  

Six Months Later

I blast the music in Mimi’s jeep as we drive down the back roads of Monroe. I had just gotten my acceptance letter to Berkeley University, and Mimi had her letter in her hand, we pulled off the road to open it and see if she too got accepted.

            I watch her eyes as they fill with excitement. She rips the letter open with her teeth, almost ripping the letter in half. Typical Mimi fashion. As she opens it a squeal rips from her throat. My eyes roam over the letter the best they can as she practically bounces up and down.

            “I got accepted. I got accepted.” She screams out into the open field at no one in particular. I smile at her, damn happy that my best friend will be attending college with me.

            Her smile fades for a second, and then wicked amusement shows in her eyes. What is she up to? “I have to tell you something?” She says in her most innocent sing song voice. The one that usually gets her whatever she wants when she talks to her daddy.

            “And what would that be?” I ask curious to hear what she has to say.

            “Don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad.”

            I raise my eyebrows at her. “You can’t say that and not expect someone to get mad.”

            “Okay… here goes nothing.” She says taking a deep breath.

            “RexandCoreygotacceptedtoBerkeleytoo!” She says all at once. The blood drains from my face, and all I can think is, No.

To be continued…

If you loved Jenna and Rex’s story be on the lookout for Bittersweet Love, the conclusion to their story. Coming September 2014.

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Thank you. Xoxo

Acknowledgements

          First to my family and friends. If it weren’t for you guys pushing me every day, and reminding me that I can do this. Well let’s just say this book wouldn’t be here. Thank you for loving me even in those moments when I was in book mode. You guys are the best.

          To Mayra , Yara, Breanna, Lorraine, Lydia, Tiffany, Keisha, Heather, Angela, and so many more. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the feedback I always needed. For cheering me on and pushing me to continue with my dream. I love you guys so hard.

          To the blogging community. Hundreds of you are out there devoting your time, and money to support authors. I just want to say big thanks to every single one of you even those that had nothing to do with my cover reveal, or those that are just now reading my book. Without people like you most of us starting out in this industry would be going nowhere. So huge thank you’s.

          To A Closet Full Of Books blog, Sammies Book Club for book lovers, Books and Beyond Fifty Shades, Escape to Bookland, Books you CAN’T put down, Book Partners in Crime Promotions, and so many more. Thank you to all of you for taking the time out of your day to review my book. It means so much to me that there are people out there that want this book. Thank you for supporting me, and sharing every single thing I ever send to you. You guys are the best.

          Lastly, to my husband. You may never see this, or maybe you will. I’m not sure. I just want you to know that I love you. Thank you for allowing me to follow this dream. For not looking at me crazy when I told you I hear voices in my head. For being there for our daughter well I’m busy typing away. For being my rock in those moments where I said I just can’t do this. You have no idea what this means to me. Just thank you.