Bittersweet Chronicles: Pax (28 page)

I clear my throat, not sure how to respond to him.

His eyes grow soft. “You’re all grown up, and you’re Walsh Clark’s son, and you’re a damned talented musician. The world is waiting for you. It’s time to let them see you. All of you.”
      I sigh. Pax Clark. It’s time to be Pax Clark. Rock and roll royalty.

“Okay,” I answer simply.

“So, you’ll come home to Portland? Let us set you up in the studio and get this shit done?” he asks, pulling a cell phone from his shirt pocket.

“You producing?” I ask.

He glances at me. “Yeah, Pax. I’m producing.” He snorts as he punches buttons on his phone. “As if I’d have let anyone else.”

I chuckle and shake my head. “What would you have done if I’d gotten an offer from another label?”

“I’d have gotten on a plane and come to make you a better offer.”

“Seriously? You’d have gotten into a bidding war with another label over me?”
      “You’re going to be one of the greatest music stars of your generation, Pax. I’d have gotten into a bidding war with
ten
other labels over you.”

I stare at him, disbelieving. I knew he and the guys all thought I had talent, but I don’t think I ever realized just how much they believed in me. Maybe I was so busy trying to avoid everything to do with Lush that I couldn’t hear their praise?

“Um, thanks,” I answer, not knowing what else I can say.

“You can thank me by recording a platinum album and making me a shitload of money.”

I laugh. “’Cause you really need more money.”

“You never know,” he answers with a wink. “The way my kid’s running through women, I might have to support a slew of grandchildren and their mothers.”

I jab a finger in my open mouth in a gagging motion.

Mike cracks up before he looks at the phone again and says, “November seventh, we’ll start recording. That gives you six weeks for your recovery like the doctors said, and you can get the arrangements together while you’re hanging out.”

And with that, my future is set. Go home. Record an album. Make money and play music. It’s all pretty simple, and some part of me wonders why I ever made it so difficult.

**

I’ve ejected everyone from my room by six p.m., and I’m settled in for my last night in the hospital. All I need now is my girl. After my discussion with Mike this afternoon, I asked Carly not to come back until everyone else was gone this evening. I’ve thought, and I’ve thought, and I’ve looked at it from all angles. I know what I want now, and I just hope that Carly wants the same thing.

“Come in,” I say when I hear her light knock on the door.

She walks in, and just like the very first day I saw her on that beach, she takes my breath away.

“You’re out of bed,” she says with a big smile.

“Yeah. It’s time. Come sit with me—but on my left so I can put my arm around you.”

She laughs, and we sit side by side, my arm across the backs of her shoulders, where I can run her smooth hair across my fingers while we talk.

She lays her head on my shoulder and releases a big sigh. “This is nice,” she tells me. “I had a crazy day.”

“Yeah? Why was that?”

“Well, Aunt Beth is pretty insistent that I come back to Portland with her for a couple of weeks, so I had to go get the rest of my stuff out of the dorms, file my official paperwork to drop my classes, put things in storage—you know, life stuff.”

I nuzzle her cheek, inhaling her sweet scent—clean and warm, just like her. “I guess we haven’t had much of that—life—in the last few weeks.”

She huffs out a little laugh. “Not really. I’m not sure how I managed to do any homework at all before I dropped out. Guess maybe school isn’t for me.”

I run a thumb along her full bottom lip. “Don’t say that,” I tell her softly. “You’ve never had a chance to go to school the right way—the regular way. You might be really good at it. If it’s what you want to do, then you’ll do it.”

She sighs. “Thanks. It won’t be until next semester at least though.”

My heart starts beating harder and faster as I know that this is my opening. I take a deep breath and hope for the best.

“So, here’s something funny—you’re going to Portland, and so am I.”

A smile breaks out across her face. “Are you? I was hoping that’s what was going on. How long will you be there? Can you show me around?”

“I’d better be the one showing you around. That’s my home turf. You need to see it the right way, and I’m the only one who can do that.”

She rolls her eyes at me, but a smile is firmly in place and she puts a hand on my knee, turning toward me more so we’re nearly nose-to-nose.

“As for how long I’ll be there…” I take her hand in mine, watching as my thumb caresses hers. “I’m moving back. For good. I’m going to take my name back and record an album for Mike’s label. It’s time for me to be who I am.”

The light vanishes from her eyes as she struggles to maintain the smile. “Wow. That’s great. Congratulations.” She sounds anything but congratulatory.

“Carly?”

She looks down at her lap.

“Hey. What are you thinking?”

She takes a shuddering breath. “I’m happy for you. I am. But I’m sad because I’ll miss you.”

“That’s good,” I tell her.

She throws me a look that says,
What the hell?

“It’s good because I want to ask you something.”

“Okay…”

“Will you come to Portland with me? I mean, will you come live in Portland so that we can both be there? You could go to school or get a job if you want. There are plenty of jobs with the band and Mike’s label. Or you could work at Studio B. We’ll take care of you, Carly. All of us. And you and I could see where this goes. Between us, I mean.” I slide off the sofa and drop down on one knee in front of her. “Will you come live in Portland with me, Carly?”

Tears spring to her eyes, and she sniffs. “Do you promise you’re not just asking because you feel sorry for me?”

“God, no.” I put my palm alongside her cheek. “No. I want you to have a family and friends around you, but I would have told your aunt to ask you if that’s all I cared about. I want you to come to Portland and be my girlfriend. I want us to keep seeing each other. I love you, Carly.”

She nods, a few tears spilling onto her cheeks. “Okay. I’d really like to do that, Pax. I’d really like to be your girlfriend, and I’d really like to try living in Portland too.”

I lean up and kiss her, our lips melting together in a way that tells me this is good, and this is forever.

Six Months Later

Pax

I jog across the campus of Portland State, Frisbees flying and dogs barking as the students enjoy one of the first really warm days of spring.

“Hey!” one shirtless guy cries as I run past him. “Aren’t you Pax Clark?”

“Hey,” I say as I turn and jog backwards for a few paces. “How’s it going?”

“I saw your show last week at the Paramount. Rocked it, man.”

“Cool. Thanks!” I say before I turn around and keep jogging. I’m late, and she’s going to be pissed because I promised I’d carry her stuff from her presentation.

I skid to a stop outside the psychology building just in time to see some big, dumb jock carrying a cardboard box as Carly holds the door open for him.

“Carly,” I say just a little too sharply.

She turns and gives me a
look
. Guys know what I’m talking about.
The
look.

“Nice of you to show up.”

I reach the door and hold it for her while she leans inside and picks up her book bag off the floor. Jock dude is standing on the sidewalk now, looking at her with a whipped-puppy expression, waiting for further instructions.

I step to him after Carly exits and take the box from him. “I’ve got this now. Thanks a lot for helping out my girl.” My tone tells him exactly what I think of his help.

“No worries, dude,” he answers. He’s a cheerful one. “See ya around, Carly.” He waves and lumbers off toward the quad, where all the Frisbee play is taking place.

Several voices yell as he approaches, and he’s quickly buried in a dog pile of rowdy guys with Greek letters on their T-shirts.

I put the box down then turn back to Carly, who’s standing with her arms crossed, one eyebrow raised. I put my hands on her hips and adopt my saddest puppy-dog eyes. They totally work on her. I’ve learned this over the last few months.

“I’m so sorry I was late, baby. We needed to get this one last chorus down for the new album. You know how Mike gets about this stuff. He’s a perfectionist, and he’s bigger and meaner than I am. I have to do what he says.”

“So, I need to take it up with him, then?” she asks, trying hard not to crack a smile.

“Definitely,” I say, leaning in to give her a light kiss on the lips.

She sighs, and then the smile breaks through. “Fine.”

I give her another kiss, longer this time, lingering to taste the berry flavor of her lip gloss, and possibly slipping one hand down to cup her ass. “How was your presentation?” I ask once we break apart when someone walks by and shouts, “Get a room!”
      “It went really well. I think I got an A.”

“That’s my girl. I’m proud of you. You ready to go?”

“Yes, but where are you taking me?” she asks.

“Patience, grasshopper. We’ll be there in just a few minutes.”

She smiles as I pick up her box and we walk to the parking lot.

Coming to Portland was definitely the right choice for both Carly and me. She’s been living with her aunt and uncle for the last six months. She enrolled in Portland State in January and is almost done with her first semester now. Her major is still undecided, but with a roof over her head and financial aid, she has enough money that she can relax, take classes she enjoys, and figure out what interests her. She’s made friends, and as an added bonus, she and my sister, Lyric, totally hit it off. They’re only a year apart in age, and they spend a lot of time shopping and doing homework together at coffee shops.

I recorded my first album with Mike, and it dropped in February. So far, I’ve had two singles in the top ten, and the album is on track to hit gold by the end of the summer. One good thing about Mike’s label recording my stuff is that I have total control over promo, performances, and my schedule. So far, I’ve declined doing any big tours, opting instead to sign on to a couple of large outdoor music festivals during the summer when Carly’s not in school so she can come with me.

Now, I’m about to use some of the rewards of my success to get closer to Carly. I know she’s young, and that’s why I talked to my family and hers before I did this. They were all supportive, and I think they know I would never try to keep Carly from growing and following her dreams. In fact, I want to spend my life helping her reach those dreams. Like my parents, I met
the one
early in my life, and that’s just how it is.

I pull up to the curb and point to the historic brick building across the street. “That’s where we’re going,” I tell her.

“Oh. Who are we visiting?” she asks.

“You’ll see. Just come on.”

“This place is really cool,” she says as we make our way through the small lobby and onto the restored warehouse elevator that takes us to the second floor.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like it.” I hope she’ll love it, actually, so her praise helps set my mind at a little more ease.

We walk off the elevator and face the big wood door with the stainless-steel lever handle.

“You ready?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Since I don’t know what’s happening, I guess I’ll have to be.”

I take the key out of my pocket and put it in the lock. From the corner of my eye, I can see her expression of surprise, but she doesn’t say anything.

The door swings open and I lead her inside. It’s a pretty classic loft layout—a large, open living-dining and kitchen area on the main floor then two bedrooms upstairs. There’s a striking spiral staircase leading upstairs, and it’s a focal point of the living room.

“This is really beautiful,” she whispers as she looks around.

My heart expands with every word she says.

“Who owns it?” Her voice is still quiet like she thinks she’ll alert someone to our presence and get us in trouble.

“You’re looking at him,” I say, grinning. I still can hardly believe it myself. I paid cash for the whole damn thing. Not a dime from my dad.

Her eyes grow big and round as her cheeks blush. “You bought this?”

I nod. “I did.”

She squeals and leaps into my arms, kissing me all over my face. “Oh my God, I’m so proud of you! Pax, it’s gorgeous!”

I laugh and return a few kisses before she slides down my body to put her feet on the floor again. I make sure to keep her close though, moving behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist. We’re both facing the wall of windows that looks out over the neighborhood—charming brick buildings, contemporary apartments, and lots of leafy, green trees.

“I’m really glad you like it,” I tell her as I feather kisses up and down her neck. She shivers. “Because I’d like you to live here with me.”

My heart skips a beat as silence falls in the room, and I swear she stops breathing as well.

Slowly, she turns in my arms, and I’m almost afraid to see the expression in her eyes. But when I do finally see them, I know instantly that I can put all of my worries behind me.

“Are you serious?” she asks, her voice full of awe.

“Yes, I’m perfectly serious. I’ve wanted to live with you since you first said you’d come to Portland with me, but I also wanted to be able to give you a nice place to live and a chance to get to know your family better.”

“It has been great living with them,” she says. “Do you think they’ll be hurt if I move in with you?” She bites the corner of her lip, and I can’t help but smile.

“Well, I actually asked them already, and we have their permission.”

A grin spreads across her face, and before I know it, she’s jumped on me again, the kisses flying every which way and my heart bursting with the joy of loving her.