Bittersweet Chronicles: Pax (23 page)

One of the uniformed officers runs out the door, and a few moments later, he comes back, trailed by paramedics with a gurney.

The next twenty minutes are a blur to me. I’m in the back of the ambulance, the siren piercing my ears, machinery bouncing, people shifting from task to task. There are tubes and needles and wires being inserted into nearly every inch of Pax. Lights are blinking, signals are chiming, and the two paramedics working on him are tense, terse, and obviously concerned that he might not make it. I watch, horrified, as they insert a short tube into the right side of his chest and blood comes pouring out onto the floor of the truck. My stomach lurches, and I grab the edge of the gurney I’m seated on as I watch his life force drain away onto the black rubber mats.

When we reach the hospital, he’s pulled out and rolled through the ER so fast that I barely register that he’s gone. I sprint to catch up until a nurse catches me as I’m about to follow through the swinging doors that have “Surgery” stamped above them.

“I’m sorry. Only staff beyond this point,” she says, gently placing a hand on my shoulder as she stops me.

“That’s my son,” I gasp, my lungs still not taking in enough oxygen to help me speak coherently. “He’s been shot.”

“Okay.” She smiles. “If you’ll come right over here, we’ll get started on admitting him. They’re going to take him into surgery now, and I promise we’ll let you know the minute they have anything to tell.”

I swallow once and nod at her, a sensation of hopelessness taking over me so quickly that I almost collapse from the weight of it. I steady myself against the wall for a moment, which is when she recognizes me.

“Oh!” she exclaims.

I look up and give her a weak smile. “Yes,” I say, “I am.”

She grins. “Well, what in the world are you doing in little old Bittersweet, Alabama?”

“My son lives here,” I answer, gazing through the small panes of glass in the swinging doors that barricade me from Pax.

“Well, we have a great surgeon to look after him,” she tells me as she leads the way to the desk. “While you fill out that paperwork, just tell me one thing—is Joss Jamison really all that?”

Joss is all that—and a bag of chips—which he gives to the nurse as a joke with his autograph that reads,
All that and a bag of chips. Love, Joss.
He and Mike put on the public rock-star faces and sign more autographs for the staff as well as chat up the nurses while I fill out paperwork. When I finish, they use the goodwill to get us into a private waiting room right next to the surgery hall. We step in, shutting the doors, Ethan standing guard outside.

The cheerful public faces disappear, and Joss runs a hand through his hair. “What the hell happened? The cops with us wouldn’t tell us anything.”

I sink into a chair, my hands shaking harder than they were earlier this morning. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take, and I don’t think I have it in me to describe everything twice right now.

“Tammy,” I say. “I’ve got to call Tammy.”

Mike shoots Joss a look. “Yeah, about that.”

I stare at him like,
Yeahhh
??

“She’ll be here in about an hour.”

I shoot up out of my seat. “What?!”

“She texted me while you were dealing with the paperwork. She was already in the air. Said she couldn’t stand to stay home any longer while all of this was happening and she wanted to be here to greet Pax when you got him released.”

I collapse back into my chair. “Shit.” How do I tell the mother of my children that her firstborn was shot in the chest? That he’s in an operating room in some backwater Alabama town and he might not make it?

“Yeah,” Mike agrees even though I didn’t speak my fears out loud. “We didn’t tell her anything. No point in getting her worked up earlier than necessary.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that. We can get security to meet her at the airport?”

“Yep.”

I watch the clock, thinking about how thousands of hours of life can pass by completely meaningless and then, suddenly, you wake up one day and your entire world changes in just one sixty-minute span. The next few cycles of sixty minutes will determine whether Pax gets more life—and whether Tammy and I do as well.

**

Carly

I’ve never been in the hospital before, and I’ve discovered that it’s boring, boring, boring. Aside from Aunt Beth’s fussing and Vaughn’s lecturing, nothing happens in my room all day. I’ve watched as much TV as one person possibly can, and now, I’m left to stare at the walls. I’m dying to call Pax again, but I don’t want to be “that” girl—the one who’s clingy and needy and won’t leave the guy alone when he’s obviously rejected her.

On the other hand, Vaughn did run him off, so maybe Pax would be happy to hear from me? Maybe he’s just been traveling and that’s why he can’t answer his phone?  I’m moments from picking up my phone to dial again when Vaughn comes slamming into my room.

“What’s the matter?” I ask as I see his frantic expression.

Is Lagazo on a rampage in the hospital, looking for me? About ten insane possibilities like that one run through my mind in a split second, and I move to get off the bed, thinking I’ll need to dive out the window or something to escape.

Vaughn jams a hand through his hair and his jaw tightens. “There’s a rumor flying around the hospital that some of the guys from Lush are in the ER because one of their kids is hurt. I heard these nurses at the desk down the hall talking about it.”

“What?” My voice comes out thready and high.

“I’ve tried calling him,” he says, looking at me grimly. “I can’t get him to pick up or respond to texts.”

“We have to go to the ER,” I demand, struggling to get off the bed. My side is screaming in pain, but I don’t care, I have to get to Pax if he’s here.

“You’re not supposed to be up,” Vaughn says, putting a hand on my arm.

“Please.” My voice conveys every bit of how badly I need this. I can’t stand to lie here in a bed if there’s any chance Pax might be hurt.

He sighs and pauses for a minute. “Okay, but let me do this right.” He disappears out the door but is back in a moment with a wheel chair.

“Thanks,” I grit out as I lower myself into it. I won’t fight him on this. It hurts too much.

When we reach the ER, it’s complete chaos. The rumors about Lush being on the premises must be true, because there are reporters, gawkers, and half-dressed middle-aged women everywhere.

“Holy shit,” Vaughn breathes out as he stops outside the elevator that brought us to the lobby.

Even without seeing him standing behind my wheelchair, I can feel his tension. We both stare at the mayhem in astonishment. Phones are ringing, the TVs are blaring, people are shouting, and camera flashes are going off right and left. There are half a dozen Bittersweet police officers stationed throughout the room in addition to the hospital security staff members lined up outside the large double doors that lead back to the surgery hall.

I put my hand over my mouth so that I don’t break out in tears, because I know that this can’t all be a false alarm. Someone has seen Pax’s dad here, which means that Pax really has been injured, and my stomach roils at the mere thought.

Vaughn wheels me over near the restrooms, where it’s slightly quieter, and kneels down, facing me so that no one else can see or hear our conversation.

“There’s no way the hospital’s going to tell us anything.”

I nod, knowing he’s right.

“My mom’s in the cafeteria. I bet she has Walsh’s number, so let me see if she can get any more information.”

I nod again, swallowing the lump that’s working its way up my throat.

He reaches out and gently takes my hand in his. “It’s going to be okay, C. Just keep thinking positive, and I’ll get you to him as soon as I can.”

“Okay,” I whisper, but all I can think is,
What if it’s already too late
?

**

Walsh

My phone buzzes, and I check it only because it’s about time for Tammy’s plane to land. Beth Nelsen’s name pops up and I debate whether I want to deal with this right now or not. Joss leans over and looks at the screen.

“You can find out how the girl is,” he says. “Have some good news to tell him when he wakes up.”

I nod and slide my finger across the screen. “Hello?”

“Walsh?”

“Yeah. Hi, Beth.”

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I’m here in the Bittersweet hospital and Vaughn is with me. The ER has exploded and everyone’s saying that you’re here, too, with the band? I thought you were all heading straight back to Portland. What’s going on?”

I pull the phone away from my face and look at Mike and Joss. “They’ve found out we’re here,” I tell them. “Double check that security meeting up with Tammy. I really don’t want her to get mobbed on the way in.”

“I’ll tell Ethan,” Joss says as he strides to the door.

I put the phone back to my ear. “Yeah, I’m here too, Beth. It’s, um…” I clear my throat. “It’s Pax. There’s been an accident. He’s in surgery right now.”

“Oh my God,” she gasps. “I swear we had no idea. Vaughn and Pax spoke just yesterday after Carly was brought in. We all thought you were picking him up to go back to Portland.”

“That was the plan. Unfortunately, the local crime lord didn’t agree. Pax was shot before I could get to him.”

She’s silent and I grit my teeth as my mind flashes back to the blood running out of Pax’s mouth.

“What’s his condition?” she finally asks, her voice sounding small and concerned.

“He’s in surgery. We won’t know anything for a while.”

“Is Tammy with you?”

“No, but she’s on her way. And Joss and Mike are here.”
      She pauses, and I can almost hear the wheels in her head grinding.

“My niece, Carly, is still here recovering from her surgery—”

“Oh man. I’m so sorry. I should have asked about her. Is she doing all right?”
      “It’s fine, and she’s fine. Or, at least, she will be. I’m not sure how much Pax told you about everything, but they’ve become pretty close—Carly and Pax.”
      “I did know that,” I answer, and I can’t help the small smile that ripples across my face when I think about Pax’s voice whenever he talked about Carly.

Beth’s next words are rushed and tense. “I know you’re worried and probably really overwhelmed, but do you think there’s any way you could let Carly know how Pax is doing? She’s kind of fragile right now. I’m not sure what this is going to do to her…” Beth’s voice fades away, and I can feel everything she isn’t saying—how much she’s worried about Carly, how much she loves her.

“What floor are you on?” I ask.

“Carly’s on the fifth floor. Room 523.”
      “Can she move around yet?”
      “Well, she’s not supposed to, but she’s already had Vaughn take her down to the ER, trying to find out what’s going on.”

“Okay. I’m going to send one of my security guys up there to get you three. You all come down and wait here with us. I’d like to meet the girl who managed to get my son to take on a mobster in her defense.” I smile again even though Beth can’t see me.

The noises that sneak through the line sound like Beth might have broken down in tears. “Oh, Walsh. I’m just so sorry all of this happened,” she sniffs. “ I was so afraid that you’d blame us.”

“Not in a million years. If this is anyone’s fault, it’s mine. Pax wanted to be independent, and I forgot that independent and alone are two different things. I left him alone, and he needed me.” My voice is gruff. “I just hope that I get the chance to apologize to him for that.”

“He has a lot to live for. He’ll make it, and we’ll be there to celebrate when he does.”

A half hour later, Ethan opens the door and in walk Vaughn, Beth, and a very  young brunette in a wheel chair. She’s pale and looks stressed, but I understand the attraction immediately. If I were Pax’s age, I’d want to know her too.

“Hi, Beth,” I say as she gives me a quick hug.

She wipes under her eyes at the moisture that continues to pool there. I turn to Vaughn and give him a hard hug with a quick pat on the back.

“It’s good to see you,” I tell him.

As I pull away, a tortured expression flits across his face. I remember how hard Joss and Tammy took it when I nearly killed myself with booze as a young guy. No one in their twenties should have to worry about a friend dying. It’s just not natural.

Vaughn clears his throat before gesturing to Carly. “This is my cousin, Carly Nelsen,” he says.

I smile and kneel down in front of her wheelchair. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Carly.”

She nods rapidly, struggling to hold back tears. “I think I owe you an apology, Mr. Clark,” she tells me, her voice shaking as her eyes turn red. “Pax wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me, and I’ll never forgive myself for everything that’s happened. As soon as I know he’s okay, I promise I’ll leave and never bother your family again.”

She bites her lip and looks away from me, fighting those tears so fiercely. She’s a firecracker—I can tell already. Kind of like my wife, but softer around the edges. A perfect match for Pax.

“You’ll do no such thing,” I say as I reach out and grasp her elbow. “Pax would never forgive me if I let you get away while he’s trapped in a hospital bed.” I sit in a nearby chair, leaning toward her and resting my forearms on my thighs.

Beth has gone to talk to Joss and Mike, but Vaughn wavers among all of us, looking like he feels he should go to his mom but is unable to walk away from whatever’s going to happen with Carly and me.

“You know,” I tell her, catching her gaze for just a moment before I look back down at my hands. “Pax was always ‘that’ kid, the one who had to do everything himself, had to prove to everyone just how tough he was.”

“Vaughn always says Pax has to be the hero,” Carly responds with a small smile.

I laugh. “He does. He can’t help it. He has a big heart and a bigger ego. There’s not much my kid doesn’t think he can do if he’s just given the chance.”

My chest compresses, and I swallow hard, trying not to let my pain show to this girl—a child, really. She’s hardly any older than my own daughter yet already so much more worldly.