Bittersweet (17 page)

WITCH.

 

 

I hated funerals and my great aunt Camilla's was no exception. The fact that my mother decided to hold it the night before the bonfire seemed insensitive even for her. In fact the whole event was a glaring epitaph for why I disliked funerals. Too few people were crying. And too many that were seemed pretentious. Over dramatized, as though they were trying to prove something. Or hide something. Everyone dressed in drab bland shades of black and gray; as if that was different from any other day. This whole town was funeral-ready on a moment's notice.

Something twisted inside me. Even though I had a hard time mustering up tears over her death, I felt a deep sadness. She had been as innocent as I was guilty. I was a witch. She wasn't. It wasn't her fault Gran made the choices she did. At first she was following her beliefs, in trying to help the witch hunters. Now I know she'd had a change of heart and was trying to protect my family. And me. This was the ultimate punishment for her treason. I still wasn't sure how my life had gone from normal and mundane to the brinks of insanity. Filled to capacity with good faeries and bad, witches and witch hunters, and me at the hub, spinning wildly out of control. At least it seemed that way to me.

The night Gran died, I'd known it was coming. She was in an accident. But it was more than that. There were forces at play I couldn't understand at the time. I still don't, entirely. But at least I'm able to make some sense of it. I don't think anyone noticed the way I clung to her hand as she took her last breaths. Or the way she squeezed mine in return, whispering,
“
N
ever change
.
”

After she was gone, I crawled into myself, refusing to talk or cry or deal with any of it. Just the thought brought me back to the day they told us my father had died. Once again I withdrew. I curled up in a safe corner of my mind, refusing to come out, until my mother took me to Dr. Greenbalm. Now I know that my shrink was an excommunicated elven royal from Mythlandria, and that Gran was involved with some shady hunters. Things had never been as they seemed.

They lowered Camilla's casket into the ground. I shuddered. I was surrounded by enemies, closing in on all sides. And the safe place I used to turn to in my mind, had been invaded by a Shadow faerie whose thoughts could infiltrate mine. There was no running and hiding from this. I had to take action before anyone else died. And someone else would. Someone always did. My stomach turned over hard, as I silently accepted the fate I knew I'd been assigned. Gotta love being the savior.

As we filed slowly out of the cemetery and back to the cars, one singular thought lingered, nagging at me. I peered over my shoulder to make sure we weren't within earshot. Then I turned to Adrius.

“I think we should break up.”

His brows tightened as he looked at me. Then he squinted, tilting his head to the side.

“Why?” he drew out the word, suspiciously.

He knew me well enough to know this had to be part of a crazy idea. It was, of course.

“If we can throw Venus off track at least for a little while, maybe we can have time to pull this spell together.”

He stopped walking, and his eyes searched mine for a moment. “I don't think Venus did this to Camilla,” he said slowly.

“I know, but that's only because she was already gone. If she thinks we're not together any more, maybe it will keep her from hurting anyone for a while.”

“She'll never believe it. She would sense something was up.”

“Not if we sell it. And get everyone else to buy it as well,” I said. “We make it public. Then at the bonfire, you go to her for comfort or something.” I paused so as not to gag on my own suggestion. “I'll ignore you and word will spread. You know how gossip travels. Especially if Brianne's in on it.”

He shook his head. “I don't know, Lorelei. What if this only increases her need to spread harm? It seems too risky.”

“I'm telling you this will work. It has to. We just have to make her believe. The only hard part will be staying away from you for that long.”

Adrius sighed. “Hard, no.” His arms looped around my waist and he pulled me closer. “Impossible, yes.”

I leaned my head against his arm and we headed for the car.

“You stabbed that goblin with a flaming blade. Venus has access to magic. And I think I do too.”

His designer navy suit had darkened to black from the misty drizzle, like the damp charcoal waves of his hair. The ebony umbrella he held over my head did precious little to protect him from the unrelenting showers.

The frown lines marring his face deepened. “I shouldn't have been able to. All manner of magic seems to be getting through.” He opened the car door for me. “Things are changing,” he said, closing it once I was safely inside.

I leaned my head back against the seat and gazed out toward the place where we'd just buried my great aunt's remains. Light rain speckled the windows, distorting my view. My mind sped as the car pulled away from the cemetery. Change. It was the only constant. If magic was accessible now to all beings from Mythlandria, that meant Venus was right. I had access to dark magic, just as the sygil had forewarned.

“I want to apologize for the other night and dropping the bombshell of Peterson's offer. I feel like I blindsided you. It was selfish.”

His expression didn't change. “You shouldn't be afraid to tell me anything, Lorelei. We are together in this. Never lose sight of that.”

“I won't.” I couldn't. Every thought I had could be traced back to him. I really was sorry. I hated that he felt trapped. Like he was begin forced to choose between who he was and me. “I'm not trying to make it a competition between your life and mine. I just…” the words slipped away.

He reached out to hold my hand. “I understand, Lorelei. You chose the only option you could, given the circumstances. No one knows like I do how much you've had to sacrifice. I'm not judging your actions.”

“But you must hate me for them at least a little.”

He smiled slightly. “I could never hate you. Your happiness is important to me. Second only to your safety. Both of those would be looked after with this plan. If it were to work,” he added.

I nodded. It was a huge if. But one I was willing to risk. For him. For us. Why then couldn't I swallow the guilt consuming me inside?

“I really am sorry.”

“Don't be.” He shook his head. “I'm not. How could I be sorry to have a girlfriend who loves me enough to change who she is to be with me?

“It's not something I'd even ask of you, you realize. I love you. And I will always put you first.
Always
.”

“Thank you, for being you,” I whispered. How was it possible that I was more in love with him than I was just a moment ago?

“So this plan of yours. When do you want to start?”

“I haven't told you all the details yet,” I said cautiously. He wasn't going to like the part I'd left out. “Once we've suppressed her powers—”

“
If
you suppress her powers…” he corrected.

“We will take her back to your world.”

He frowned. “What do you mean
we
?”

I took a breath. “I mean you, Zanthiel and me.”

He was shaking his head before I finished. “No. No way.”

“It's the only way this will work, Adrius. You need me. My powers are stronger there.”

“You're being unreasonable, Lorelei.”

“You said you'd do whatever it took for us to be together.”

“Yes I did. But when I said it, I assumed you'd understand I meant whatever it took that wouldn't get you killed.” His grip tightened on the wheel.

“This won't get me killed. I'm so much better at the spells than I used to be,” I said.

“And Venus has full use of her powers. You can't fight against that and win.”

“I don't plan on fighting her. I plan on incapacitating her, just long enough for us to get her back to your world.”

He shook his head. “We are not discussing this, Lorelei. The answer is no.” He glared at me hard.

I lifted my chin. “You don't get to decide for me, Adrius. I think we established that a long time ago.”

“We also established that I would never support anything that puts you in greater danger. Are you not in enough already without adding to it?”

“Don't you see, this would be making things easier. Better for everyone.”

“How much better will it be when my father's guards remove your head for treason?” he growled. “Or Venus invokes enough power over me to force me to do it? What if I killed you?”

I touched his hand. “You won't,” I said softly. “You fought it before. You can do it again.”

“Don't be so certain of that.” His eyes locked on the road as we turned onto my street. “The effort nearly killed me. Doing it again would weaken me to a point where I couldn't help protect you from those out to kill you. You'd be vulnerable to Venus and my father's knights hunting you. I couldn't live with myself if I lost you. Like my mother.” He turned away and raked a hand through his hair.

I felt the pain of that memory seep into my heart. “Adrius.” I put my hand on his arm. “I have
Octãhvia
's power inside of me. I am strong.”

“Strong with powers from the dark witch's magic and the Shadow faerie's kiss,” he bit back. “How long before it takes control of you completely?”

My hand fell away. It had been some time since we'd discussed Zanthiel's kiss of memory, but it obviously hadn't strayed too far from his mind.

“Are you so desperate that you're willing to lose it all, including yourself?”

I leaned back against the car seat and sighed. Once again we'd reached an impasse. Neither one of us would be willing to concede to the other. It was like that a lot lately. He refused to see reason for fear of losing me, and I refused to lose him for fear of doing nothing. We had to find a middle ground and fast. Time was literally running out. The veil would close soon and we'd be separated. Either on my side or his. I was all too aware that any day now, one of these kisses could be our last.

Cars lined the street in front of my house. Adrius parked on the side of the road, cut the engine and then faced me. His expression softened. “Let's just get through one tragedy at a time. We can talk more about this later,” he promised.

I watched as a couple walked past our car, and into my house where fifty of Camilla's least closest friends were gathered. She'd be appalled to find most of them here… probably calling them a bunch of hypocrites from her grave.

“I don't want to go in there,” I said sullenly.

Never judgmental, he smiled. “We won't stay long. Be a good girl and make an appearance and we can go anywhere you want after that.”

How was a girl to resist an offer like that? I climbed out of the car, dreading the walk to my front door.

Camilla was gone. Dead. They planted her in the ground at noon and then served a catered lunch at one. This wasn't the closure I'd been seeking.

There were too many questions left unanswered. Did Peterson know she was dead? Had he been involved? Or was this somehow the doing of the super-secret organization he worked for? That seemed more likely to me, though I couldn't be certain that wasn't just wishful thinking. I mean, when you've put your hope for a normal life in someone, you want that someone
not
to be a murderer.

Seeing all of these people milling about made me angry. I wanted someone to do more than gather to grieve. Or offer the respectable pretense of grieving. I wanted action. And since the police chief of Drearyton Cove wouldn't know what to do with a break and enter, let alone a suspicious paranormal death... it was up to me.

Mom wandered over to me, carrying two plates of food, one laden with vegetables I know she never touched. “Thought you might be hungry.” She offered me the veggie plate.

I smiled thinly. “Thanks. Do you think anyone suspects anything?” I asked, fingering up a carrot curl and leaving it on my plate.

My mother blanched, but then shrugged her reply. “I don't know what happened to her sweetheart, but Camilla was involved with the wrong people. Dangerous people. It's just the sort of thing I've been warning you about.” She stroked my hair. “I don't want you to end up like her.”

“I won't.”

I was sad, but it was for all the wrong reasons. The loss I was feeling wasn't entirely over my great aunt's life. I was grieving losses yet to come.

“Your grandmother used to say no matter how someone dies, no one leaves this world unless their soul chooses it. She made her choice. They both did.” She gave a rueful smile before returning to her guests.

Camilla chose death over being a witch. Over being what I am. What my mom and Gran were. People will go to great lengths to deny who they are. I was willing to change who I was, but dying instead would never be an option. I didn't want this because I didn't like who I was. I wanted to be free to be with Adrius in peace. That was before the dark magic started taking hold. Now, I wanted to be free of who I was becoming.

 

 

Morning was about to push through the night. It was time to go. I drew the blankets on Adrius' bed up under my chin. Our plan seemed to be working. For seven days following Camilla's funeral, Adrius and I remained apart, with the exception of our epic staged arguments which left one of us storming off in a rage. Usually me. Word had spread and we'd done a fairly good job of staying away from one another. And Venus hadn't hurt anyone in just as many days. Neither one of us had seen her, but it seemed like things were working.

Stolen visits in the night were the only way to keep up the pretense of our breakup. It made the time we spent apart… time he spent with
her
… bearable. Almost.

I don't know how long I'd been on my side watching him, but it was dawn before he finally stirred. “You're awake, aren't you?” His eyes were still sealed.

“Yep.” My gaze shifted to the window. The sun was rising, filtering a warm lemon glow through the window. He opened his eyes to look at me.

“You're far away. What's on your mind?”

“Just thinking.”

“About Peterson and his offer?” he guessed, propping himself up on his elbow. He searched my face for confirmation and when he found it, rolled onto his back with a groan. “Lorelei, I wish you'd let this go. I've never asked you to be fully mortal. I've never asked you to be anything but who you are.”

“I know. But that's because of who you are, Adrius. You're kind and loving and generous to a fault. It doesn't mean you don't wish I was something different.”

“Yes. That is exactly what it means. You're not thinking clearly. How long has it been since you've had a decent night's sleep?”

I didn't answer. “I want it to be that way, but we both know it's not. I saw it behind your eyes when you looked at my arm. I'm not healing as quickly anymore, and we both know why.”

“We both have ideas on why. We don't know anything for certain yet. It's too soon to jump to the worst case scenario.”

I sighed. “Maybe. But...”

“No buts.” He turned on his side and kissed me. “We will wait. There is still time. No hasty decisions. Right?” I gave a small nod. Even as he watched me, his face bathed in the fragile morning light, there was something in his expression I couldn't read. With a half-smile, he removed the clip holding my ponytail in place, letting my hair spill down my back. Then he pulled me to him and like the residual darkness of night, I let go of all words and thoughts when his lips touched mine.

I snuck out of his house and back to mine before the sun had fully risen. The senior bonfire party was happening tonight. We decided it was the perfect time to use the spell to suppress her powers. We'd do the spell, Venus would be powerless. We'd get her back into the Nevermore, and Zanthiel would finish her off, if Adrius couldn't. Venus gone. Binding cure broken. Two of my twelve problems solved.

Sigh.

I missed Adrius terribly and even just pretending to fight with him felt awful. It was a necessary evil, but it would all be over soon.

Abby and I spent the day collecting the herbs we needed from Gran's garden. Nothing that would kill Venus, but poisonous plants had many uses.

The senior pre-prom bonfire bash began in an hour. By then it would be dark, with both the band and beer kegs fully loaded.

On any other occasion, I would have been all over a night like this, spent hanging out with Adrius in the woods by firelight. It sucked that we had to pretend to be enemies.

Jacket in hand, I wandered down to the kitchen for another cup of tea and found my mother about to brew more coffee. I raised an eyebrow. “You know, you should drink tea. It's better for you,” I said, taking the sack of beans from her hands.

“Since when?” she scoffed.

“Didn't you learn anything from Gran?” I pulled out a canister with dried chamomile and rosemary leaves. “Here. Try this one.” I plugged in the kettle and gave her a determined look as she sighed dramatically and went on reading her magazine.

The phone rang and I leaned across the counter to reach it. Any day now Peterson would call to discuss his offer.

The caller ID name said Goddess. My stomach tightened. She was calling my house now? No one had heard anything from her in days. I'd half hoped she'd given up and returned to the Nevermore, where she belonged. Not likely. On the fourth ring I steadied my breath and answered.

“Do you know how easy it was to figure out what you two were up to, Lorelei? You can't fool me. But it was nervy of you to try.”

I swallowed and slowly made my way into the hall, out of earshot from the kitchen. Mom glanced curiously at me, before returning to her magazine.

“Sorry, don't know what you're talking about and don't really care. You got what you wanted. I have nothing left to give.”

She laughed. “If only that were true. The lying game seems to be your new source of entertainment.”

“What do you want, Venus?” I was almost whispering into the phone, and holding it so tightly my knuckles burned.

“I do hope you and Adrius had a nice time together the other night. It's going to be your last— because if it isn't you'll be punishing the people you claim to care about. Like your mother.”

I glanced down the hall. Through the opening, I could see her still reading her magazine. The kettle boiled, filling the hall with the faint echo of whistling. Mom slid from her stool and from view, as she went to retrieve it, her favorite tea cup in hand. She'd been through so much, I wouldn't let Venus put her through anything more. “I promise you Adrius and I aren't together. And it's your fault. I'm so done with all of this. With both of you. If you want to continue hurting the people I care about, I will stop you.” The words flooded out in a torrent of frustration.

Venus laughed softly, like a breeze through wind chimes. “I wish I believed you.” She sighed. “But you can't be trusted. Must be the Shadow fey in you. Liars, all of them.”

Mom returned to her stool, cup in hand. Wisps of steam curled from the rim. She motioned to me that she'd poured me a cup and I answered with a quick wave.

“Don't you just love tea?” Venus asked, as though this was a casual chat between friends. “Your grandmother certainly has some interesting plants growing in her garden,” she said.

I froze, as her random pleasantries started to take meaning.

“You know which garden I'm talking about… the one growing behind the secret gate?”

“How did you know about Gran's garden?”

She chuckled. “So cute how your mother shares your fondness for tea. Mine did too. Before you killed her.”

I dropped the phone and raced back to the kitchen, sliding into the room just as my mother swallowed a mouthful of tea. I whacked the cup out of her hands. It flew across the room, barely missing the window before shattering against the wall. A spray of hot liquid splattered in a wide radius as pieces of porcelain rained onto the ceramic tiled floor.

Wide-eyed and stunned my mother stared at me, her mouth gaping open.

“Are you
out
of your
mind
? What is wrong with—”

Her words strangled, and she coughed. Her hands flew to her throat. She sputtered, gasping for air. It sounded like she was drowning.

I grabbed on to her shoulder. “Mom.
Mom
.” But as my hands touched her, something happened. I could feel the energy of it travel from my fingertips into her body. Immediately I let go. But not before her eyes rolled back in her head and her body slipped to the floor in convulsions.

“Oh no. No no
no
. Don't die. Please don't die.” I sprinted for the phone and dialed 911. Nothing. No dial tone. The line was dead. I ran back to the kitchen and grabbed my purse.
Cell phone. Where
was
it
?

Throwing handfuls of useless contents onto the floor I finally found it. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to hit 911 but hit speed dial for Adrius. No answer. The front door burst open and I jumped. Whirling around I grabbed the biggest knife from the butcher block, then backed up to the wall. What a knife would do against a supernatural witch with dark magic, I had no idea, but I wasn't giving up without a fight.

I stole a glance at my mom. She'd stopped convulsing. Was she still breathing? I slid my back down the wall onto the floor. If I could drag her body away from the middle of the room, I could put myself between her and...

A long dark shadow stretched in front of me as I crawled to my mother's side. The air caught in my throat. I looked up, the butcher knife white-knuckled in hand… and exhaled.

“Zanthiel.” My heart began beating again, faster this time and with such force I was sure he could hear it. Without a word he scooped up my mother and carried her to the couch. I followed, breathless and terrified. Had I made things worse? I knew the answer to that. I'd felt it. There was a charge of energy from me into her. Like pouring battery acid on a flower, she'd wilted.

“What's wrong with her?” My voice quivered.

Zanthiel covered her face with his hands for a moment. Then he extracted a small vile. Holding her head up, he poured it into her mouth. For a few seconds there was only stillness and silence. Seconds that felt like hours. I couldn't even find my voice to ask what he was doing.

She coughed. Once. Twice.

I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Thank you thank you thank you.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she blinked up at. She looked from me back to Zanthiel. “What's going on?”

Zanthiel glanced at me and slipped the empty vile into his coat pocket.

I inhaled a staggered breath. “You fell. Hit your head,” I said quickly. “And Zanthiel helped me get you to the couch.” Swallowing back the residual tears, I forced as close to a smile as I could and waited for her response.

She frowned, still unsure but then she rubbed her elbow where a bruise darkened her otherwise perfect skin. “Well. That's what comes from drinking your grandmother's tea,” she muttered, and put her head back on the couch. Her blue eyes shifted to Zanthiel. “When did you get here?”

“Just in time, you might say.” He shot me a side glance and I gave a thin smile.

“You need to take it easy. Think I'd better stay home with you tonight,” I added.

But my mother was shaking her head before I'd finished. “No can do, sugar. Have that important dinner meeting in the city for the arts council, remember? There's no need for you to miss the bonfire because of my clumsiness. I'll be fine.”

I sighed. It was useless to argue with her. “I'll get you some water, Mom.”

Zanthiel followed me back to the kitchen.

“How did you know?” I stared up at him with damp eyes. The thumping in my chest slowed.

“Do you really want the answer to that question?”

I blinked, then turned to the cupboard to retrieve a glass. I already knew the answer. He was watching out for me. Always. And he knew Venus better than I ever wanted to.

“What did you give her?”

“The antidote to Belladonna.”

I bit down on my lip. She tried to poison my mother with a lethal plant from my grandmother's garden.

Opening the faucet, I filled the glass with water. My hands shook and liquid sloshed onto the floor. Zanthiel came up from behind and reached an arm around me. With a steady grip he took the glass and turned me to face him.

“Are you all right?” His silver eyes squinted as he peered into mine, searching with that discomforting intensity.

Breathe
. I inhaled a shaky breath and almost succumbed to another round of tears when his lean cool arms wrapped around me. “It's going to be fine, Lorelei. I have no intention of letting her hurt you. Your mother is right, you should go to the bonfire. If you go, Adrius will follow, as will Venus. Which means she'll be far away from your mother, and safely within eyesight.” He stroked my hair and I wilted into his chest, letting his chill spread through me and numb my fears.

When the cold become too comforting, I eased back. “She's not going to stop, is she?” I whispered, pulling out of his embrace. Another question I knew the answer to. Venus would never stop until she had what she wanted: me and everyone I cared about in a body bag, and Adrius all to herself.

Zanthiel brushed a stand of hair from my face. The cold touch of his fingertips soothed my skin.

“We will destroy her once she's in Mythlandria. Since you won't let me kill her now,” he said, fixing me with a sarcastic smirk.

I frowned and shook my head. That wasn't an option. Killing her in this world meant Adrius died as well. I wasn't willing to pay that price. Not even to be rid of her forever.

“Maybe you're right. There is a way,” I said it more to myself than to him. But he didn't need to hear my words to know when I was up to something.

Zanthiel studied me harshly. “Please do not tell me you're going to attempt to access your magic to use against her. I can see that having catastrophic and far-reaching after effects.”

I shook my head and gave him a small smile. “You're telling me not to use magic now?” Funny coming from someone who insisted I tap into his magic every time I performed.

“My magic won't get you killed. Yours might.”

“Always so worried about me. Thank you, Zanthiel. I'm not sure if I've told you this before, but... I appreciate what you've done for me.”

Zanthiel smiled and I felt the depth of his emotion spread through me before I forced it out. I needed a clear head right now, free from confusing and conflicting thoughts clouding my judgment.

The small spells I'd managed to successfully pull off while helping Abby practice were the extent of my magical repertoire. Most of the magic I seemed to conjure was the touch of death. Not something I was prepared to use. Twice now I'd seen signs of it. It was there, just below the surface, waiting for the right opportunity to unleash. One more reason I needed to find my father. He was a faerie king and it was partly his magic flowing through my veins. Having turned away from her powers, my mother wasn't much help. But my father might be able to unravel what was happening to me, and with any luck, reverse it. Finding him meant staying alive long enough to get back to Faery.