Bittersweet (15 page)

 

 

There was no way to explain what had happened. This was the purest of magic Abby had been practicing, and it had sought to destroy me. As though I was the threat. It was taxing enough to know I had half of the Nevermore hunting me in one world and a psycho witch after me in mine, but now this confirmed my darkest fears. Maybe they were all right. What if there was evil in me? Evil that could not be suppressed. And what happened if it wanted to come out?

The words scribed in the ancient text haunted me.
She will destroy the ones she loves the most. Blinded by their love for her, they will succumb to darkness and death as she feeds upon their souls.
None of that sounded like me. Like anything I was capable of. Then why had a simple protection spell sought to protect them from me?

I walked outside, not bothering to put on a jacket. Inhaling a deep breath, the cold air plunged into me and I relished the sting, as it numbed my insides.

The door opened and closed. I didn't have to turn to know who it was.

Adrius draped my coat over my shoulders and took my hand. I didn't feel forced to speak. He would wait, silently and patiently, until I was ready to talk.

When the silence became suffocating, I looked up at him. And in an unprecedented move, he spoke up first.

“I know what you're going to say. You're going to tell me you're fine.”

“I am fine.” I managed to say it convincingly, though my teeth chattered.

“Lorelei, you were just attacked by a subcutaneous serpent. It's all right to not be fine.”

Venus hurting innocent people, the curse, my dark magic… the truth was I'd never be fine with any of it. This was just another in a long string of things I couldn't get past.

I nodded and swallowed my emotions. There wasn't enough oxygen in my lungs. I needed more air; all of outdoors wasn't sufficient. It seemed the perfect time to tell him what was going on, what I was going through, and yet the words wouldn't form on my tongue. Part of me hated the part of myself that belonged to something he loathed. It wasn't entirely rational, I realized, but before I could tell him what had been happening, I needed to figure it out for myself first. Flashbacks of the agony in his eyes when he learned what I was...who my family was, were already there. And I couldn't bear to put him through that again. I started to walk away, as if somehow putting distance between myself and the house would simultaneously distance me from what had happened inside it.

Adrius stopped me and turned me toward him. “We don't have to talk about it unless you want to. But I'm here. You know that.”

I nodded and leaned my head against his chest. He was always so warm. It was a powerful reminder he would always love me, no matter what. I could tell him anything, and this was my chance to let him know how frightened I was. But before I could get a word out, he kissed my forehead, and tucked his arm protectively around my waist.

“I think what you need is a change of scenery,” he said, with that crooked smile I adored. Abby raced over to us, breathless more from the weird events than the run, I suspected.

“Lorelei, I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened. And I didn't mean to say what I said. It came out wrong, and I was freaked out by the spell, and...”

I smiled and touched her arm. It's okay, Abby. I'm fine.”

“She's fine,” Adrius parroted me.

I nudged him in the ribs. “But I think I'm gonna call it a night. You don't mind, do you?”

Abby shook her head and headed back to Brianne and Davin. “Take care of her.” She called over her shoulder. Adrius answered with another kiss on my forehead, meaning he always would.

“I'll take you home.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head vigorously. I wasn't ready to head home just yet. My mother was still out of town and being home alone held no appeal. “Let's go back to your place. For a while.”

He looked unsure, but agreed.

****

Adrius had been overly cautious about us being alone together lately. But given the bizarre events, he was more than willing to comfort me when we arrived at his house. It was empty, his uncle still mysteriously absent. I was glad for the time alone with him.

He'd lit the cluster of black candelabras that lined his mantle. Although the fireplace in his bedroom wasn't lit, the room had the warmth of a summer's day. Fragrances of vanilla, lavender and patchouli lightly scented the air, enhanced by the undertone of thyme. None of them were powerful enough to mask the deliciousness of his scent.

We laid on his sofa, in each other's arms. My head rested against this chest, as he traced circles along my arm.

“Adrius. Do you think I'm evil? That I might be capable of dark and terrible things?” My mind turned over the past events. Maybe dark magic
was
taking over my soul. Tainting my healing gifts, making me as dangerous as Venus to everyone close to me.

He angled his head to face me. “There is no chance of that ever happening, Lorelei. You will always be you, good at heart. This, whatever it was, was not of your doing.”

I chewed my lower lip and nodded. Then with a deep breath I tried to relax.

“Does it still hurt?” With gentle fingers, he examined the bruises on my hand.

Neither one of us wanted to have that conversation again, least of all me.

I pulled it away. "It's fine. I'm fine." I quickly rolled down my sleeve.

"You should have that tattooed in ink across your forehead and be done with it,” he said. “It's been your theme song lately."

“Maybe I should set it to music.” I laughed, but it sounded forced. Strained. Like I'd forgotten how, or was out of practice. Which I was. There hadn't been anything funny in our lives for way too long. It made it hard to keep pretending that I was fine. “I think there's some of the salve Gran used to make up for customers in my bag. I'll be back.” I slipped out of his embrace before he could ask any questions and into his washroom.

Standing in front of the mirror, I unbuttoned my shirt and slipped it off my shoulder. I stared at the purple bruise staining my skin. I didn't want him to see it. He'd just want to talk about what happened. It was better this way. Time spent discussing things that couldn't be changed was a waste of energy. It only made me feel worse and just for once, I didn't want to feel worse. I was satisfied with feeling bad for at least one night. Our last night, before…

The door squeaked open and Adrius leaned against the frame.

“Are you going to run from talking the entire evening? Because if so, I'd rather know in advance if I'm to be spending the night chasing after you.”

I clenched and unclenched my hand to ease the throbbing which had become worse. It still came as a surprise to me that healing could take so long.

He watched me, then gently taking my bruised hand he brought it to his lips, kissing each finger in turn— his gaze tethered to mine. “I hate seeing you hurt.”

“It doesn't hurt.”

It was almost true.

Pushing my hair back, I inspected my reflection in the full length mirror. The bruise on my cheek was finally healing. It was an odd thing for me to see anything but unmarked skin when I gazed in the mirror. Pimples and scratches alike had always disappeared within minutes. Bruises and lingering pain were a new experience. One I didn't like, and not just because they looked and felt awful. They were a constant reminder that something was terribly wrong with my gifts. If the problem had been limited to me, it might not have been so bad. Billions of people lived their entire lives relying on time and modern medicine for healing. But this wasn't only affecting me. It was spreading, like a virus to those around me. If things got any worse I could literally possess the touch of death. Not something I was prepared to live with. There had to be a fix. Someway to undo the damage and right whatever had gone wrong.

I turned back to look at him, letting my hair fall and cover the blue mark. “Ok, it doesn't hurt as much,” I confessed.

A shadow darkened his eyes though he didn't say any more about it. The guilt he felt— that he always felt when I got hurt, was nearly debilitating. For both of us. I couldn't stand seeing him suffer any more than he could. Especially knowing I was at cause.

I smiled. “I wasn't trying to run from you. It's just I know you want me to talk about it, but I don't. Not about anything. I want to spend the evening with you and just pretend that we're a normal couple doing normal couple things. Like watching bad TV or pigging out on junk food, or”—my gaze swung to his bed shadowed behind him in the darkness of his room. I stretched up on my toes to whisper in his ear— “other things couples do.”

His lips quirked, brushing my hair as he replied. “I don't need to tell you which of the three would be my first choice.”

Adrius took the salve from my hand and with a touch as delicate as a breeze, rubbed some onto my shoulder. The warmth of his soft stroke took away most of the residual pain. He leaned in to kiss me, but kept it short, pulling away just as I leaned into it.

Then he cleared his throat. “But considering the circumstances, I think we should just stick to the first two on that list.”

I folded my arms. “You know, it's a good thing I don't have a fragile ego cause a girl could take it the wrong way, getting turned down so often.”

He pulled me into him and let his lips trail along my neck. "It's only because when I'm with you, and I will be with you, I want it to be all of me. Body and soul,” he whispered against my ear.

Tiny tremors rippled across my skin. “I know. I know.” I sighed. “So, let's go find something fattening to eat and boring to watch, and there better not be any romance in it.”

He backed up to let me pass. Then he caged me in, backing me against the wall with his arms braced on either side. “What if I promise to make it more interesting?” he said, a wicked gleam in his eye.

“That would definitely improve the options.”

“We can stand here and discuss it, or I can show you how distracting I can be. Your choice,” he murmured.

I ducked under his arm. “You're on.” I raced into his room and dropped onto the bed, to find him already there waiting to catch me. We settled into a comfortable position nestled up against his side. With the press of a button a massive flat screen TV rose from the foot of his four poster mahogany bed.

“Your room looks like it was furnished in 1500s regent, and then there's this?” I gestured to the monstrous screen looming over us.

“Further proof opposites attract.” He clicked on the remote and we started watching the first show playing. A 1940s version of
Phantom of
t
he Opera.

I laughed.

Adrius swept my hair behind my ear. I shivered. The flickering candles lit his eyes to a rich golden green. I swallowed, struck by their radiance. It never stopped taking my breath away.

“I still make you nervous.” He smiled. His eyes blurred with mischief and desire.

“Not really.” I was lying. The warmth of my cheeks confirmed it. Not that he needed confirmation. Most of the time he read me like a book.

“Lorelei.” He leaned closer and my tummy tightened involuntarily. “I can feel the way you tremble when we touch.”

He took my hand and placed it against his chest. Waves of electric current tingled along my arm. Not quite the lightning bolt zap his touch used to be before I came into my power, but it still gave me a mild buzz.

“The way your heartbeat quickens,” he said softly.

He was all too aware of the effect he had on me, and all too pleased by it. Spending time with him was like being entranced in a supernatural fog. One that became impossible to navigate the longer we were together.

“You know, we're all alone here,” I said, feeling a rush of nerves, blood and tingles.

Adrius swallowed and pressed his lips to my throat. He nuzzled my neck, burying his face in my curls. His fingers tangled in my hair.

My heart pulsed wildly. Beyond the realms of what seemed possible, my need for him intensified. With a slow inhale, he closed his eyes, trying to regain the wall of self-control he fought so hard to maintain between us.

With a groan, he reared back. “It's dangerous to want you this badly.” He withdrew his hand from my hair, letting the curled tips slide between his fingers. Then he sighed long and heavy, before he climbed out of bed, and crossed the room to the safety of his desk. “Far too dangerous,” he repeated.

He picked up a book from a pile next to his feathered pen and thumbed through the pages.

I stayed put. Of all the dangers closing in on me, this was one I could live with.

 

 

“What are you reading?”

“My uncle kept journals from this world and from ours. There was something in them about the MBD.”

This time I groaned. “I thought we weren't going to talk about any of this.” But curiosity got the best of me and I padded over to him.

“MBD is not a who, it's a what.”

“What?” I frowned.

He smiled. “It's an organization. A very old one according to this. They've been hunting immortal beings for a long time.” His brows tightened. “That man Peterson, may not be what he seems.”

I didn't know what he seemed, other than a part of the mystery. “Maybe Peterson's different. It seems like he's trying to help. Why else would he offer leads on Camilla?”

“I don't know. But I don't think he can be trusted,” he said.

Can anyone? We were fighting an invisible enemy, someone had to be on our side. I picked up a book written in glowing green symbols. Elvish script. My fingers tingled as they traced over the markings. “Have you heard any more on where your uncle might have gone?”

“Not yet. But I don't believe he has been harmed. Wherever he went, it was most likely to avoid whatever fate was coming. His gift for sensing danger and outrunning it are what's kept him alive this long. Even after he was forced to live among mortals, he never lost that edge.”

“So what did you find?”

“I did uncover some information. Shadow fey were not only stealing infants, but adult humans to mate with in the hopes of producing the child that was prophesied.

“That was how my parents met,” I said. “My mother was taken but she was rescued by my father, who was able to get her out safely. They fell in love and he left his rule to be here with her.”

“Why would he return when he knew he'd be punished?”

“Maybe he had to. Or, maybe he was forced to.” I looked up at him. “Peterson said Gran turned him over to your father. And my mother still blames the Elves. What other reason would make her hate them so much?”

Adrius scowled. “Decimating love. Controlling futures. That sounds like my father's rule. The Elven counsel of Elyssium were dauntless in their insistence that there be no mixing of blood lines.” He tapped his fingers against the desk. “At any rate, the Shadow fey didn't get what they were after before your birth, so now they're coming for you.” The furrow between his brows deepened. “You don't think your father has anything to do with it? He is their ruler.”

I shrugged, but the thought soured my stomach. I'd believed he was good. That the choices he'd made must have been for our best. I'd floated blind trust in him all my life. Too late to stop now. “No. I don't think he'd do something like this. Fey go rogue all the time. And my father sent Zanthiel to watch over me.”

A dark look crossed his face. “That your father sent a sadistic Shadow fey to guard you does little to aid his case.”

“Okay, bad example. But he knows Fauna, he's the one who sent her me in Mythlandria. She would have told him I was looking for him. If he was after me, he'd have come to me directly.”

“Then it's worse. Whoever is doing this might not have an allegiance to anyone. Not that we didn't have enough reasons before, but you cannot by any means return to Faery, Lorelei.”

“I know. I know. But—” I paused, because I knew exactly the reaction my next words would stir up. “Maybe my father is exactly the person to help in all of this.” I bit down on the corner of my lip, waiting his argument.

“No. It's not worth the risk and you said so yourself, he would have come to you were that the case.”

I clamped by hands behind my back and paced the floor. “But, if he's in the dark about what's really going on... why wouldn't he want to help? It makes sense.”

Adrius tried to hide his smile. “Look at you. It's like you think you're in some sort of action adventure film.”

“Hey, just rolling with the punches here.”

“You've always been good at that,” he said, and while I thought there was sarcasm in his words, I couldn't find any trace of it.

“You know your safety is most important, Lorelei. We will figure this out. I promise you that.”

It was nice knowing someone always had your back. Especially with a massive target painted on it.

“Gran was getting ready for the onslaught that she knew would one day be coming. I think that's why she might have been cooperating with Peterson's organization.”

I flipped through a few more pages, then shut the book tight. The secrets inside were like a virus, spreading through every part of me, making it impossible to think of anything else. And now I'd contaminated Adrius with it. It would be weighing on his mind as incessantly as it was on mine, eclipsing all else. It was like being wrapped up in a mystery with too many suspects and nowhere near enough clues.

“I was researching some of those plants your grandmother had growing in her poison garden. My uncle has medical journals for both worlds,” he said slowly. “They were used for killing faeries.”

“What?”

Cool air poured through the open panes of glass. It was unusually cold for early June. Something about the chill in the air reminded me of the Nevermore... the icy lands of Noctria and the frozen wastelands of the Winter Court in Faery. Involuntarily, I shivered.

Adrius went to the window and closed it. “There are several entries in his book about it. And—” he paused.

I held my breath. It was bad enough to learn the grandmother I'd worshiped may have been involved in murder... what could be worse than that?

“There's a spell in there— one that was never to become known. It was designed to end the race of the fey. And it was written by your grandmother.”

Peterson must have something to do with this. He and his organization wanted the veil sealed and the fey extracted from the human world before they took over. He claimed they wanted them gone or stripped of magic… not dead. But Gran involved in all of this somehow?

“Not possible. My grandmother couldn't have hated my father enough to wish his entire race annihilated.” Then I thought of Mom and Neil and their behavior toward Adrius. Suddenly that level of uncompromising loathing seemed not only possible but entirely probable.

“But what are they all so afraid of? If I remember, there were lots of good fey in the Summer Court. The Seelie fey were mainly concerned with their own immediate pleasures, but seldom let those desires impinge on anyone else's free will. Unlike the Shadow fey and those dwelling in the Unseelie Court.

“Some will do anything to avoid the full prophecy coming to pass.”

“They're willing to end a race over a prophecy no one can even understand what it predicts. You're saying they want them dead to avoid the prophecy of me sitting at their throne. It seems a little extreme, certainly not worth ending their kind entirely. Why would my grandmother agree to go to such lengths?”

“Camilla was working with them, it seems likely your grandmother was as well. There is a solid reason behind it. You would have to spend eternity with Zanthiel to rule the Faery Islands. Which means dark magic could become the norm in our world. Perhaps they feared it would eventually spread into yours.”

I blinked, taken aback. Never before had he ever expressed the hatred my mother accused the elves of possessing. I know he loved me as much as he loathed Zanthiel, but he'd never wish for the annihilation of all fey.

“I don't understand, why would the fey have any interest in taking on the human world?”

Adrius frowned. “For the same reason they do anything. Their own selfish pleasure.”

I shook my head. It didn't make sense. How could Gran or anyone know any of this would come about? It didn't escape my mind that the elves hated the fey just as much as anyone else. “Well, we have to stop them. I'm not going to let them end the fey, no matter what crazy future projections they believe. And I have no intention of ever becoming a Faerie Queen. Talk about a stressful job.” I laughed.

Adrius didn't see the humor. “You seem so positive that prophecy has no hold over the future events. I wish I had your certainty.”

“I learned long ago that your fate is in your own hands. I still believe that. Any destiny a person wants no part of, can't possibly be their true purpose. What good would that serve? Trust me when I tell you that the future they're all fearing will never play out, because I will never sit on the throne of Faery.”

I wish I was as convinced as I sounded. So much of what was happening felt out of my hands, like I was the one with the least amount of control over how things turned out. I hated feeling powerless.

“We need to get rid of Venus.”

I tapped on a page in the book.

“How?”

“With a spell to what... incapacitate her, while you return her to the Nevermore and I go to the Shadow Court to find my father.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but I stopped him. “Wait. Hear me out. He helps us fix the veil, break the curse, and undo whatever's been done to my ability to heal.”

“Tall order for a man you have not seen since you were a child. One who left you and has never returned, I remind you.”

“He's my father, Adrius. I have to believe he'd be willing to help me if he knew I needed it. His powers are strong. All faerie royals are. Mine will be too once I'm back in your realm. I stopped
Octãhvia
. I can stop Venus there too. I just need time to gather all of the pieces first.”

“And I suppose you intend to ask Zanthiel to help find your father.”

“He knows the Shadow Court better than anyone else.” I didn't mention I'd already asked for his help. I touched his arm. “We try it this way and if it doesn't work, then we can consider... other options.”

“Assuming you're still alive to consider them. What of my father's bounty on your head?”

“One mountain at a time.” I felt a surge of guilt over having kept Peterson's offer from him. I wasn't ready to accept his terms until we knew more, and I had no idea how Adrius would take the idea of giving up his immortality... for me.

“We have a plan now at least. Well, half a plan, we just need to find the right spell and herbs.”

“Herbs…” he nodded. “From your grandmother's poisonous garden?”

I could hear in his tone he was less than thrilled, but I kept talking. “We use the spell to get Venus back into the Nevermore. She follows you and I find my father. He helps us undo the spell sealing the veil and helps me sort out what's going on with my healing gifts. We find a way to break the binding cure. Then you and I return here and—”

He laughed ironically. “And what? We all live happily ever after? If any one of those things should go wrong…I'm not open to any solution that could get you killed. Nothing is worth that price, Lorelei.”

“We have to try, Adrius. It's the only hope.”

“And if I lose you. What then?”

“What difference will it make in the long run? If we don't try, we'll still be separated. Only you'll be with her, and I'll be here without you… still dying.”

****

Morning came and I once again hadn't slept more than a few hours. The silk sheets tangled around my legs showed how much I'd tossed and turned. I climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb Adrius, who was still asleep. I watched him, the soft rise and fall of his chest as he slept. So peaceful. So beautiful. If only I could freeze this moment. Here alone with him, as if none of our other problems existed. But they did. And time was speeding us toward inevitable outcomes if we didn't act.

Grabbing his uncle's book, I wandered down the spiral staircase, into the kitchen. It was even larger than mine, and three of the four walls were floor to ceiling glass, giving a panoramic view of the surrounding woods. I made a single cup of coffee, since Adrius wasn't a fan. And then I checked my phone for messages. Four from Abby wanting to discuss the spell. One from my mom, she'd be back in town by noon. And another from Peterson.

My stomach twisted. I opened it, but it was blank. No message. Sigh. The screen went dark. I was about to set the phone down, when it lit up on its own. No incoming call, or text, just three words that flashed across the screen. CAMILLA HAS RETURNED.

As quickly as it turned on, it turned itself off. I frowned. Okay, that was weird. I stared at the dark screen, but nothing else happened. Had Peterson sent it? If Camilla was back, why hadn't he told us where to find her? Waiting for news from him was killing me. Almost as much as the fear over telling Adrius what he had offered. But I had to do it. If there was a chance for us, he'd have to at least be willing to listen to it.

I opened the fridge and stared vacantly inside as Adrius came downstairs.

Water dripped from his freshly showered hair, leaving dark spots on his unbuttoned shirt.

“Morning.” He kissed my cheek, scanning the screen of my phone over my shoulder.

“Any news on Camilla?” he asked as he poured two bowls of cereal.

Closing the fridge I handed him the pitcher of milk. “Not really. But, I was thinking, the police will want to search her place soon, now that her disappearance has become known. We have to make sure they don't find... the wrong things,” I said. Not that most would believe or understand what they did find. A collection of old books written in a language long ago dead, and some herbs which could be used for pretty much anything. Not so unusual for my family, given Gran's café. But if there were magical families living in Drearyton Cove for centuries, who knew how much knowledge or information anyone had, or what they might do with it. Witches burning at the stake was too vivid an image and too recent an occurrence not be worried about history repeating itself.

There was a long pause and I didn't have to read his thoughts to know what he'd ask next. “And that Peterson? What did he want?”

I shrugged, avoiding eye contact as I poured milk into both bowls. Peterson had been a sore spot between us for weeks, and I didn't want to start another morning in a fight.

“Do you know what he is looking for?” he asked.

“Not really. He said it's an artifact, something belonging to my father.”

“What does he need it for?”

I inhaled and steadied myself. This wasn't the conversation I wanted to have with him today of all days, but there didn't seem any away around it. I knew how I felt about changing who I was to be with Adrius, but I had no idea how he would feel about it. I'd been a paranormal being for a few months. He'd had his entire lifetime to get used to the idea. And just because I was willing to give it all up if it meant we could be together, didn't mean he'd be willing to do the same. Now that it came to it I could never ask him to.

He read my face like a paperback, “All right, what are you not telling me this time?” He pointed at my face. “The vein in your forehead is twitching. You're chewing your bottom lip. Sexy as it is, I know it means something is on your mind. Out with it.”

He's either going to love the idea or hate it. There would be no in-between. He'd promised me we would do whatever it took to be together, but was this taking it too far? My stomach rolled over and I could feel my palms growing moist. Now or never, coward. “There is more…”

His eyes narrowed and he waited, silently. Though it was almost undetectable I noticed his jaw tighten ever so slightly.

“Peterson wants the gemstone for several reasons,” I began, hesitating to clear my throat. “He believes… my kind shouldn't exist.”

His expression turned to steel. “Ah, so he's not only a lowlife manipulator and possible murderer, he's also a bigot? This is who you're negotiating with?”

I held up my hands to stop him. “True, but let me finish. He's figured out a way for us to be together, here in my world. Not forever, but for, a while.” My words faded. Even as I spoke them they sounded wrong. Why was I willing to settle for a while with him, when we should be able to have forever? Eighty, ninety years, was nowhere near long enough when eternity was a real possibility.

“What did he tell you, Lorelei?” His tone was one of barely restrained fury. It was no secret he didn't trust Peterson, and nothing I was going to say would make things any better.

“The gemstone he wants from my father, must be destroyed. Then the veil will be sealed permanently and humanity can be restored to any being who chooses it. Including me.” I paused, shifting my gaze from his stormy eyes to the ground. “And you,” I murmured.