Bitter Hearts (A Southern Loving Book 3) (22 page)

“You’re
welcome,” he murmured, straighten her back on her feet.

“You
made me feel loved even if it was for a short period of time. Some people don’t
have the chance to feel love or even loose love before they are taken away,” she
said softly. “That heartache was something I needed.”

Sam’s
eyes became doleful, as time stood still around them he reached up and caressed
the side of her face. “I regretted every bit of it. I tried my hardest to get
the memories of us out my mind,” he chuckled uneasy. “I still love you, and I
still need you and the thought of marrying someone else that isn’t you tears at
me. Inch by inch.” He lowered his face to hers before stealing a kiss. “I want
you back,” he said against her mouth.

Kari
pulled away from him; she didn’t feel the fireworks or see stars that occurred
when Hank kissed her. “I’m already gone.”

Sam
stepped back and stared at her unblinkingly.

“I’m
in love with someone else and even if I wasn’t I still wouldn’t want to date
you,” She started to say when the door ding open. She had to look back two
times to see if her eyes weren’t playing a trick on her. Hank McBride walked
through the door wearing blue jeans, a black button down shirt with a cowboy
hat to match.

***

Hank
arrived at K-designs carrying a bouquet of roses. The door dinged as he walked
into the building, his eyes traveled to Kari who was talking to a dapper black-white
man dress to the nines.  Her eyes met his briefly and went back to talking to
the man.

“I’m
just in time.” Corey walked in behind Hank.

Hank
ignored Corey as he made a beeline to Kari and the man who appeared to be smitten
with her.

“I
can take you until she’s ready to see you,” Corey said, steering him towards a
desk that was out of hearing and eyesight to the one Kari normally sat at. His
eyes were glue on her that he nearly walked into another desk. Was that her type? 
A businessman who looked like he worked for a fortune 500 company. They never
talked about money, he knew she was from it and he wasn’t. He was asking
himself a question that he should have asked her months ago.

 “Who
is that?” he said in a low voice, enough for Corey to hear.

“Oh,
that’s Sam Russell, he’s Kari ex-fiancé. Don’t they make a great couple?” Corey
looked beyond Hank and stared dreamily at the man with Kari.

Hank
cleared his throat.

Corey
turn his attention back to Hank. “How may I help you today, Mr. Jackson? By the
look of you walking in carrying those damn roses must be meaning that the woman
you left my best friend for didn’t pan out.”

“It’s
between Kari and me.”

“Nope,”
Corey said, getting bugged eyed. “My best friend was fucking hurt because your
jolly green giant ass didn’t know what you wanted. There is no way I’m allowing
you to hurt her again.”

“I’m
going to say this one more damn time-It’s not of your goddamn business,” Hank
said as his muscle twitch in his jaw. “Do we need a recap of what happened last
week?”

Corey
gulped. “I will defend my friend no matter what and you don’t’ scare me.”

“What
the hell is going on?” Kari asked, refusing meeting eye contact with him,
instead she looked at Corey.

“I
was telling this piece of shi-” Corey started to say.

“Let’s
not pretend like I can’t snap your tiny ass like a twig.” Hank glared at the
man.

Kari
sat on the edge of the desk, folded her arm and gazed up at Hank for the first
time since he left her a week ago. “Corey, go home.”

Corey
looked at Kari like she’d lost her mind. “Girl, are you sure? I just got back.”

“Yes,”
she replied. Corey grabbed his tote bag, and started to walk towards the front
door but stop and turned to look at Hank. “If you hurt her, I will hurt you.”

“I
will hurt myself before I hurt Kari,” he said, looking at her.

“Whatever,”
Corey snapped, putting on his sunglasses and leaving.

“Do
you want me to leave?” Sam asked, sizing Hank up.

“Yeah
you can,” Hank answered for her. “I’d much appreciate it if you don’t come
around here no more.”

“Who
the hell?” Sam was a bold fellow, as he stepped closer. “I wasn’t asking you I
was asking Kari if she wanted me to leave.”

“Yes
I do,” Kari spoke up. “Have a nice life.”

“Are
you sure?” the man asked. The question seemed like he was hinting more about
her personal life more than her wellbeing.

Kari
nodded her head yes.

“Okay,”
he said, and hesitantly gave her hug before walking out the door.

The
two of them stood there alone staring at one another. He didn’t know where to
start at or what to say. Everything he’d rehearsed went out the window when he
stepped into her place of business. 

 “Kari,”
he started to say, only to receive the hand from her.

“I
told you my secret and every truth about me. You knew my flaws. I made you my
best friend…and you broke my heart. I searched high and low for a man like you;
charming, loving and sincere.” Kari moved away from him when he took a few
steps closer to her. “I forgive you and I wish you and her the best.”

“I
came to tell you that it’s over between Natalie and me.” Hank wanted to reached
out and touch her, wanted to feel her back in his arms. “I already filed for
divorce, just waiting for her signature…I wish I could take back what I did,
but seeing you leaving made me realize how beautiful our love is and how much
you mean to me.”

Kari
gasped and covered her mouth with her hand as she watched Hank get down on a
bended knee.

“Kari,
my life is fuller and richer because of you; some people search their whole
life to find the love I found in you. I need and want you by my side. I’m
completed with you, I don’t need anyone else because you are all that I need.” Reaching
into his jean pockets, Hank pulled out a flawless diamond wedding ring.

“No,”
she shook her head, going over to her desk she sat down. Closing her eyes Kari
exhaled the breath she was holding since Hank got on his keens.

“Sugar,
turn around and look at me.”

She
could feel him standing behind her. “I have a lot of work to do,” Kari replied.

“Can
you just talk to me?”

“What
am I supposed to say! This is not some happily ever after movie where you can
leave me and come back and think that all is fucking well because it’s not.
Just because you get on your knees and asked me to marry you don’t mean shit to
me.”

Turning
around the swivel chair, he kneeled down. “I don’t expect you to understand-”

“You’re
damn right. Skippy,” she said rolling her eyes. “I still love you don’t get me
wrong…I’ve been through a lot with love; discourage, sadness and I can’t
experience that right now.”

“Kari,
love is exciting, scary, magical and addictive. When I’m with you I don’t want
the time to end. Yes, I was legally married when I met you, and I’m currently
going through a messy divorce.” He cradled her face in his hands. “But let’s get
one thing straight, I never intended on following in love with you and somehow
we did.”

Kari
pushed him away; she couldn’t stand to be near him. “Can you please just go?”

“Have
you ever met a person that brought you to life? You did that every night I fell
asleep with you and waking up to your naked body as the sun peeked through the
curtains. I could have laid there forever with you.”

“Leave.”

“The
divorce papers have been filed and Natalie has been served.”

Kari’s
laughed hysterically. “You’re so fucking delusional if you think that Natalie
is going to sign some papers and walked peacefully away.”

“She
will sign the papers,” he tried to assure her, trying to take a step towards
her only for her to step backwards.

“Proposing
to me while you still married!” She shook her head in disbelief.

Hank
swiftly walked towards Kari and pulled her roughly to him. “Darling, you wasn’t
saying that when I had you screaming each and every night.”

Kari
reached for the bouquet of roses and hit Hank repeatedly.

Hank
threw his hands up, trying to shield himself from roses with thorns. “Honey,”
snatching the painful roses from her, he hugged her tightly in his arms.

His
soothing voice tried to penetrate the hurt in her heart. Hank’s words were
comforting, slowly chipping away the walls she built a few days ago. Kari
cried, shook and shivered in his arms. The anger, shame and the sense of
powerless took over again. “It’s not easy letting go.”

He
felt her body relax, her arms dropped from around his waist.
She was releasing
him
, he thought.

“I
need to.” She stepped back and wiped her eyes. “All my life I’ve been
stumbling, learning and growing.”

“We
don’t need to let go of anything.”

“I
can’t just forgive and think that nothing happened between us last month.” Kari
sighed running her fingers through her hair. “We need to let go for right now
just for this moment, it doesn’t mean forever.”

Hank
knew he could stand there and beg Kari and tell her how he would never break
her heart again. “We have a lot of problems but I know if we just agreed to
work on them together everything will be okay.”

“It
won’t.” She bit her bottom lip. “We will eventually sweep around the matter
that I no longer trust you, we will get married after you divorce, be happy for
a few years, have babies and bam. We will realize there is a lot of problems
existing in our marriage and we will divorce too.”

Hank
wanted to tell Kari she was wrong but he couldn’t. He would have to show her
that he was indeed worthy of her love. Just by her standing there and acknowledging
how much had changed between them in so little time. “You’re right,” he sighed,
looking defeated. “The fights will get louder and uglier. Hurling insults that
will leave lasting scars.”

“I
don’t want that for us…love mixed with hate…it is a recipe for disasters.”

“Come
here, Kari.” He held his hand out for her, Hank was shocked that she reached
out for him. “I’m walking away with knowing that you’re going to be my wife one
day. I’m committed to you and I will be patient. Your worth all the patience in
the world.”

Kari
wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him one final time. “Thank you,”
she said against his lips.

“All
I want is for you to be happy.” He kissed her again before walking out the
door.

***

Hank
pounded the nail into the post. His thoughts were with Kari, he thought with
him closing the door on the past was showing Kari how serious he was about
moving on with her in the future. Even though she’d turned down his proposal,
Hank wasn’t about to give up on her. Walking away would be easy but they had
come so far. Kari needed her space to navigate through her feelings and he will
be the lighthouse that guided her home when she found what she was looking for.

Hank
looked up at the sound of a truck coming down the hill. Parking next to his
truck, Austin stepped out and walked towards him with a container of food.

“Farrah
missed you at dinner. She made fried chicken, mac and cheese and black eyed
peas,” Austin said, grinning from ear to ear.

Hank
continued to hammer the nail into the post. “I thought you said she couldn’t
cook anymore,” he replied.

“Well,
this was her last night cooking.” Austin leaned against the post and observed
his cousin carefully. “She said no.”

“How
can you tell?” he said sarcastically and threw the hammer on the ground.

“The
post is taking a beating that’s for sure.”

“Austin,
did you ride up here to joke, because if that’s the case, you can save it,”
Hank grumbled.

“What
happened?”

Hank
kicked the post until it was laying on the ground. “She said no to my proposal,”
he breathed heavily. “I feel like I just got hit by a Mac truck.”

“So,
instead of learning and trying to turn it around you’re going to beat up the
poor fence,” Austin mumbled.

Hank
began to pace the grassy area in front of Austin. “I told her I would fight for
her, be patient and wait for her but I don’t know what to do.”

“Nobody
can give the best advice other than you,” Austin said.

Hank
sat on the tailgate of his truck and shook his head. He was miserable. When
Austin sat down next to him he told him about the proposal and how Kari told
him they should take a break.

“It
seems to me that Kari is being selfless. She cares about your needs much as hers.
Kari is recognizing your feelings and future together.  I’m proud of her and so
should you.”

“What
do I do?”

“During
the breakup with Farrah it was about learning how to be a better man and
husband. Farrah allowed me back into her life after she journey through her
past,” Austin said.