Authors: Louise Rotondo
nineteen
D
reams
When Aurora let herself into the unit, the first thing she saw was Tim sitting on the couch, Orinoco in his lap, looking very shamefaced. She dropped her bags onto the floor in the entryway and as she did so, Orinoco jumped down and made her way over.
‘Hi Tim,’ she said with a smile as she scooped the now purring Siamese up and cradled her. With that Aurora started to laugh.
‘I guess I didn’t need to worry as much as I did about the two of you getting along. Seems she took to you quite well.’
Aurora tucked the cat under her chin, squeezing her affectionately. Tim still looked really guilty and the best he could manage was, ‘Hey.’
He paused briefly before words started tumbling out in earnest.
‘Look, I’m really sorry that I’m still here. I knew that you were due back this afternoon and I know that I said that I would be out by the time you got back but it has been really hard to find somewhere else. I have applied for a few places but so far with no luck... and I am really really sorry.’
He paused to draw breath. Before he could start on another round, Aurora cut in.
‘It’s fine. Stay as long as you need to. Would have been too quiet here on my own anyway after being surrounded by fifteen people twenty four seven for the last month. All good.’
Relief was written all over Tim’s face and he perked up a bit.
‘So how was it? Did you enjoy it?’
With that she came over and dropped onto the other sofa, putting her feet up on the coffee table, leaning back and closing her eyes, Orinoco still clutched in her arms.
After a couple of moments she opened her eyes and regarded Tim.
‘It was really great. Not at all what I expected but an absolute experience. But back to more important matters, I thought you and Becky might have patched things up while I was away. Guess that didn’t happen?’
Tim looked out the window, before meeting her eyes.
‘Becky has started dating someone else and he has started staying the night at the unit, so don’t think there is any hope of that. And no, I haven’t been stalking or observing or had her under surveillance. Anthony my gym partner lives in the building and has seen the two of them coming and going and the guy leaving in the morning.’
Aurora gentled her voice.
‘I’m really sorry Tim. I know how much she meant to you.’
‘Thanks Aurora, but this time alone has given me the space I think that I needed to see the situation for what it was and it was never going to be a ‘to death do us part’ deal. As my mother says, these things have a way of working themselves out.’
Aurora replied before she thought about it, not that Tim could have know that she was referring to her own situation.
‘Yep they do. Or at least I hope they do.’
With that she got up off the couch, placing Orinoco on the floor. There was a certain flatness to her voice and a lethargy in her movements she knew, but she hoped that Tim couldn’t pick up on it. They were work colleagues and weren’t close aside from that, so chances were he wouldn’t. She didn’t want him giving her the third degree.
‘Worst thing about being away is the unpacking and washing when you get home. I will give you the ins and outs of the last month later if you want to grab something to eat together. I want to get this stuff unpacked and the first load of washing on. I don’t have the urge to cook, so eating out or take away it will be if you are keen.’
Tim’s reply was immediate, ‘Works for me,’ before his eyes widened and he continued, tripping over his words in his haste to make himself clear.
‘I didn’t mean that I don’t like your cooking, I am sure that you are a great cook it’s just that you have an excellent Thai place on the corner and...’
Aurora cut him off again, chuckling as she grabbed her bags off the floor and moved to the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
‘All good Tim. No offence taken. Thai it is. Do you want to phone and make a reservation since it is Friday? I’m sure you have their number on speed dial. Just give me a bit of time. It’s ten past four now, so say sevenish, which will give me time to do the things that I have to do, including a long indulgent shower.’
Tim’s face lit up.
‘Cool.’
Even though she had her back to him and was walking away the enthusiasm in Tim’s voice was a bit hard to miss. She did what she had promised herself on the plane flying home she wouldn’t do and compared this life to that out on the station. She couldn’t help wondering if Callan had ever even eaten in a Thai restaurant and after a couple of seconds, couldn’t escape the conclusion that it wouldn’t be something that would be that important to him anyway.
Callan.
She missed him already and it had only been a few hours. She dropped her bags onto the bed and turned to look out the windows. The view was fantastic, but it failed to move her. The water with the power boats zipping about, ferries crossing, or the silent sailing vessels, was full of movement. Much less restful than the long grass rippling in the breeze.
She had noticed the noise too, on her way back from the airport. No crows, frogs and cicadas here. Well none that you could actually hear anyway. The general hum of the traffic drowned out everything else.
She drew in a breath and moved away from the window, grabbing the phone from beside the bed. She had promised Cal and the others that she would call when she got home to let them know that she had arrived safely. Speaking to him wasn’t going to help with the hopeless longing to be with him, but a promise is a promise and she desperately wanted to hear his voice. She laughed at herself there. When had she become one of those women who made calls to hear their partner’s voice? The word partner pulled her up. Was he her partner? Was it going to survive long enough for him to become her partner? That thought didn’t help the heaviness in her heart.
Aurora sat on the edge of her bed, the home phone in one hand, her mobile in the other. She decided on texting Libby to see if they could catch up tomorrow before dialling Bilgarra Springs, partly as a delaying tactic and partly because she felt badly about forgetting about her planned catch up with Libby while she had been away.
They had known each other since prep and whilst they didn’t spend much time together, each time they caught up they simply picked up where they had left off. In terms of friends, Libby had to be Aurora’s closest, which was a bit of an oxymoron as Aurora didn’t really let anybody too close, but she desperately needed to talk to someone. Normally she would have turned to Gran, but obviously that wasn’t an option now.
She texted Libby and drew in a deep breath, dialling Bilgarra’s number before she lost her nerve. Callan picked up on the second ring. Aurora had a mental picture of him sitting by the phone which was so far removed from his normal attitude to the thing as to be hilarious. Aurora could imagine Trudy and Fiona’s reaction to Cal’s sudden fascination with the phone.
It was so good to hear his voice; she fell backwards on top of the bed and let it wash over her. Logic told Aurora that it was only this morning that she had lain beside him, but it felt like months. Given that they had never spoken by telephone, there were a few awkward moments and the whole conversation felt very stilted. After a bare five minutes they both hung up, all avenues of conversation exhausted.
As she lay there, the events of this morning flashed through her mind. When she had been about to leave Callan had held her like he was never going to let go, kissed her very gently and tenderly, then opened the car door for her. They had both been lost for words. Aurora had been fighting back tears and Callan hadn’t looked like he was holding up much better.
Aurora’s eyes filled with tears. She couldn’t believe the irony of the situation. She had finally met someone that she could really relate to and who made her feel more alive and circumstances had conspired to keep them apart. She couldn’t help but wonder at the parallels with her grandmother’s experience. She could accept that situation now for what it was, an accidental falling in love that didn’t have a chance to go anywhere. She didn’t envy her grandmother’s circumstances at all. To not be able to be with the man that you loved above all others because you also loved, albeit in a lesser way, and were married to, another man, would have been a private hell. At least she didn’t have duty and love for another to consider in her own situation.
She reluctantly pushed herself up from the bed. Best to get on with things. She did choose to come back after all and her bags weren’t going to sort themselves out and she didn’t want to keep Tim waiting. There was no enthusiasm to her movements though, and she felt like one of those kids you see on the TV that drag their feet along, trying to delay the inevitable.
Libby texted her back and their coffee session tomorrow was confirmed. It was going to be interesting. Aurora had accidentally stood Libby up: the two of them had arranged to have coffee before Aurora had found out about the clause in her grandmother’s will and everything had been so hectic leading up to her departure that she had simply forgotten to text Lib to let her know that she couldn’t make it. The first that she had thought about it had been when she had reached Charters Towers on their way to Townsville and her phone had had reception again and the messages had started pouring in, a few of them from Libby. Libby was not the sort of person that anyone was allowed to forget, which meant she was going to be in fine form and the morning certainly wouldn’t be dull. With that in mind, Aurora made her way to the laundry to tackle her mountain of washing.
Seated in the cafe the next day, Aurora saw her as she came through the door and waved her over. Libby as usual was dressed all in black. This time it was a black singlet, short black skirt with black leggings underneath and black Doc Martens at the bottom. Libby flung her black string bag under the table and lowered herself gracefully onto the chair, smiling broadly. Aurora grinned back.
‘Hey Lib.’
Libby leaned across the table, her arms crossed on the edge of it, her green eyes boring into Aurora’s.
‘Spill it Aurora. All of it. You never go away for the weekend let alone a whole month and the text that you sent me, when you could be bothered I might add, didn’t tell me much. You can’t just tell me that you had to go away for a while and will be out of mobile range and not expect the third degree when you get back. So spill it. By the way, hello, you look well. Maybe I should get a very large coffee first as I think it is going to be a long session. Have you ordered yet? What do you want? The usual?’
Without actually giving Aurora a chance to reply to any of the questions, Libby got up and strolled over to the counter, enjoying the attention that came her way. She was a striking red head with legs that went to her armpits, a fact that the short skirt and leggings accentuated. Aurora smiled to herself. Libby was a force to be reckoned with and the poor barista on the other side of the counter didn’t know what he was in for. At this point the poor young guy looked dumbstruck. Aurora dropped her head so he wouldn’t see her laughing. His reaction was so typical it was funny.
When she returned, Libby flashed Aurora a triumphant look before settling herself down at the table.
‘Jonathon will bring our coffees over when they are ready. I took the liberty of ordering passionfruit and raspberry cheesecake for us both as well. May as well make a morning of it.’
Aurora shook her head, incredulous at her friend’s behaviour.
‘How do you do that? They don’t give table service here, yet every time that we meet here you manage to sucker the guy behind the counter into waiting on you. You could sell ice to the Eskimos. As for cheesecake, bring it on. I forgot to have breakfast this morning, so the worms are biting. Thanks.’
Aurora pushed a twenty dollar note across the table. Libby flicker her hand, waiving away the money.
‘Aurora, my gut tells me that this story is going to be much higher in entertainment value than the cost of a coffee and cheesecake. Last time I saw you was at the funeral, we had agreed to meet, then ‘poof’ you disappear, standing me up in the process. Standing me up was so unlike you I nearly called the police but I called around at your place after work one night and a man answers the door, and originally I thought that was why you were unreachable which is also very out of character for you, but then he tells me you have taken off for a month. He was not very forthcoming either I might add, despite my charms. I did ask where and he just shrugged. I was dumbfounded. He may as well have said that you had been abducted by aliens. And I will admit I was quite miffed that you didn’t at least tell me you were leaving, but I’m over that now. I then get a text message telling me that you are in Townsville and sorry, and you won’t be back for a couple more weeks. So spill it. Where did you go and why?’