Bilgarra Springs (24 page)

‘Oh,’ was the best reply that Aurora could do. Before she knew it they were at the motel and Cal was paying the driver. She had a brief flutter of nerves and self-consciousness at where this was possibly going to go. She didn’t regard herself as overweight, but being seen naked was a whole different kettle of fish, and naked was where she assumed this was going. If she were being completely honest, that was where she hoped this was going to go. When Cal finished with the driver, he took her room key from her and opened the door.

The minute the door closed, Cal roughly drew Aurora against him and his mouth descended on hers, hungry and searching. This was not the gentle kiss of a first time lover. His mouth greedily devoured hers, pent up yearning finally finding an outlet. No shrinking violet, Aurora snaked her arms around his neck, melded her body to his and met him with equal fervour. She had spent that last week imagining what this would be like. Now the chance to find out had presented itself she wasn’t going to let her own insecurities get in the way. As far as she was concerned, it was now or never.

Her enthusiastic response spurred him on and he tightened his arms around her back, trying to pull her even closer to him. The lengths of their bodies were already aligned, and he could feel the press of her breasts into his chest. Kissing her simply wasn’t enough; he wanted more, so much more. Instinct taking over, he gently spun them around and took a step towards the wall. The movement increased the intensity of her mouth against his and he flicked his tongue against hers, revelling in the sweetness of her mouth. Her kiss was driving him mad. He hadn’t touched her yet but he was incredibly wired.

The intensity of their kiss increased. One further small step forward and his hands at her back connected with the wall. He moved them to her hips and pushed her back just that little bit. When her back hit the wall he leaned into her just a little more, revelling in the feel of his erection against the soft swell of her abdomen. Her hands were in his hair, as their mouths furiously gave way to the sexual tension that had been simmering since her arrival two weeks before.

Her hands moved around, cupping the sides of his face, before dropping onto his shoulders. He couldn’t control himself any longer and tugged at her shirt, releasing it from her jeans. He tucked his hands under her shirt, the first touch of her skin making him catch his breath. Aurora stilled. For that first amazing second it felt she had been hit by a branding iron. She felt him suck in his breath. She needed his hands higher, needed to feel his roughened palms against her breasts.

She lifted one leg around his backside and pulled, anchoring him against her pelvis. It was all the encouragement he needed. He slowly inched his palms up until his fingertips connected with the bottom of her bra. He stopped the movement there. Aurora groaned against his mouth. Her hands moved to his sides and ripped his shirt up. She ran open palms across his abdomen and up, enjoying the sensation of muscle playing under her touch. She appreciated the tough strength of his body. He had earned it with hard work.

When her fingertips found his nipples and circled them, any thoughts of restraint that he may have had fled. His hands cupped her through the lace of her bra. He could feel her nipples pebbled and straining against his palm. He slowly moved his palms in tiny circles. The friction of the lace against her sensitised nipples was almost too much for Aurora to bear. The circling stopped and he gently pinched them between his thumb and forefinger.

Aurora sucked in her breath. The sensations flooding her were completely unknown, but powerful nonetheless. She had never felt this heady rush of sensation when she had made love with her husband. This need to feel his skin against hers and to have him sheath himself inside her was completely overpowering. Rather than be overwhelmed by the new sensations assaulting her, they urged her on.

Cal was amazed at the intensity that she was producing in him. He was no innocent virgin, but he’d never experienced such an incredible desire to thrust inside and claim a woman. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that he wanted her to be his woman, in all of the old-fashioned sense of the word. His hands dove under the bra, the calluses on them providing a delicious friction. Her intake of breath was audible. Aurora’s hands left his chest and started undoing his belt.

She had it undone and ripped out before Cal could offer any assistance. The button on his jeans followed, then the zip. She briefly paused. To Cal that one second felt like an hour. He tilted his pelvis to try and make contact. That small movement urged Aurora on and she tentatively reached out her fingertips, gently grazing the end of his erection through the final barrier of thin material.

This time it was his turn to groan. That primal yearning triggered something in Aurora and she ran her fingers down the length of him, the barrier of the material adding fuel to the fire. He rocked his pelvis against her hand simulating that final act of claiming her. Her fingers dove beneath the fabric and connected with the satin hardness of him. She wrapped her hand around him and stroked with only the smallest of hesitations.

The urge to have her completely naked and wrapped around him was too much. With a final squeeze of her breasts his hands dropped to her belt, removing it and opening the row of buttons that kept her jeans closed. She was breathing harder now with the anticipation of feeling his hands on her. He ran a fingertip across the lace edge of her pants and then tugged her jeans down slightly to allow him better access. He ever so slowly trailed his fingers over the lace covering where he desperately wanted to be. Aurora couldn’t stay still, moving ever so slightly in an attempt to have his fingers in better contact with where she instinctively needed him to touch her. He dragged his fingers gradually down and gently pressed against her, moving in a slow circle, the gentle pressure causing her to involuntarily move against his hand. The friction caused by the lace added to the sensation.

It was incredibly erotic, having her move against him as her hand was working its magic on him, but it still wasn’t enough. He momentarily paused in his exploration of her and placed his hand over hers to still her while he used his free hand to push his jeans and jocks down before stepping out of them, all the while his tongue delving into her mouth. The buttons on her shirt followed and he slipped it off her shoulders. He lifted his mouth to take in the sight of her standing in the semi-darkness, clad only in two scraps of hot pink lace dotted with diamantes.

She was beautiful. Her slender legs terminated in a triangle of pure temptation that was only hinted at through the lace. Her breasts spilling over the tops of the cups of her bra were enough to lure any man. Aurora had dropped her eyes under the weight of his gaze. He tucked his finger under her chin and lifted her face so that her eyes met his. She kept his gaze for a couple of moments and then in a final act of defiance, her eyes still glued to his, she reached behind, unclasped her bra and pushed it down her arms, letting it fall on the floor. She then hooked her fingers under the top of her lace pants, sending them to the floor as well. She stood proudly and completely naked before him. Admiration swelled in him. This woman was no timid little thing. She met him head on and he couldn’t help but be in awe of her for it.

He cupped her cheeks as he ever so slowly and gently took her mouth underneath his, the urgency of before giving away to a patient exploration. Her hands were working on the buttons of his shirt. She enjoyed the feel of his powerful shoulders as she slipped her hands across them, the material of the shirt running before her fingers as it slid over his shoulders and down his arms. Now he was naked before her.

She pulled back from the kiss, her eyes roaming over his body. Thighs and arms bulked up through hard work, the muscles of his abdomen corded from the same. Long, strong and lean with a light dusting of dark hair, an arrow of which led directly to his jutting erection. He stood stock still, allowing her eyes to roam over him. She drew one fingertip from his chest, following the dent in the muscle almost to his groin. He grabbed her hand before it could drop any further. Clasping her other hand and lacing their fingers, he leaned into her and claimed her mouth in another slow kiss.

This new gentleness had an intrigue of its own. They were both aware of the restrained power lurking beneath the surface as he stepped toward her. He lifted her ever so slightly off her feet with Aurora wrapping her legs completely around him as he did so. He used his body weight to pin her against the wall. So close. One thrust and he would be inside her. He was hesitating slightly for her benefit. This was something that couldn’t be undone and he wanted her to be sure. She dragged her nails across the muscles of his back and arched against him.

Any last doubt on his part was pushed away and he drove into her. She clung to him, their mouths fused, pressing down to try and get just that little bit closer. Having him inside her, filling her was an amazing feeling in itself, but the friction from him thrusting in and out was mind blowing. Aurora lost herself completely in the experience.

Her own climax built and then exploded, catching her totally by surprise. It hadn’t been a common occurrence during her marriage. The sensation as he continued through her climax was almost more than she could bear. Cal had been struggling to hold back from tripping over the edge himself and Aurora’s contractions around him had been the final straw. A few final thrusts and he followed her. With all her nerve endings highly sensitised as they were, his pulsing was sweet torture. Cal leant his forehead against her and they rested that way for a few minutes, heartbeats slowing. His grip on her loosened enough for her to slip down to the ground. Cal rested his head on top of hers, somewhat speechless.

The experience had exceeded his expectations in so many ways. Aurora had collapsed against him, her mind temporarily, completely blank. Cal pulled her with him as he took a few steps backwards and dropped down on top of the bed. He wriggled until he was on his side and pulled her against him, their bodies touching lengthways, her head nestled under his chin. He breathed in deeply, the floral scent of her hair filling his nostrils.

Aurora breathed the scent of him in. He still smelt of sun and warm male even though he hadn’t worked today. Even the faint graze of his stubble had felt good. She couldn’t help but acknowledge to herself that she was completely torn. This man was coming to mean so much to her, yet she was going home soon, and home was so far away. They lived lives that were worlds apart. His was all action and motion, whereas hers was passive and sedate opposite in fact. Then there was the fact that it was his great-uncle who had had an affair with her grandmother all those years ago, a situation that she was still trying to get her head around. Emotionally speaking she had very much been backed into a corner, and the irony of it wasn’t lost on her: she very much had her back against the wall.

seventeen

F
amiliarity

Aurora was glad in a way that she wasn’t inclined to keep a diary of her own. She had been so busy that she would not have had time to do the entries justice. The trip to Townsville had proved to be a turning point for her. After they all returned on the Sunday, everything seemed to fall into place.

She returned to Bilgarra with an acceptance of the situation between Gran and Will for what it had been, and her previous hostility towards Fiona ceased as well. Even after they had talked, Aurora still hadn’t been quite ready to let it go. Now, it seemed, she had a new perspective on things and whilst she didn’t like what had happened, she could at least understand. Maybe the space had done her good, or maybe it was just a different outlook, but whatever the source, she was glad that she had reached some sort of equilibrium, rather than being emotionally thrown from one extreme to the other.

The unopened letter was still a bit of a thorn in her side though. She hadn’t opened the journal since reading the last entry and she was undecided as to what to do with the letter. She could, she knew, quite reasonably open it. Gran was no longer alive, neither was Will, but there was still something holding her back. Yes Gran had sent her here and made sure the journal
was left for her, but did that include the letter? Did Gran know that it still existed? All the letter did was raise more questions to which there were no answers available.

Regarding the rest of the crew, on their return, there was also a new easiness between Aurora and them. She wasn’t sure whether it was due to the fact that she felt more relaxed around them, or whether it had to do with her attachment to Cal, but either way she now felt like she was one of them. She had grown accustomed to the different sorts of work required from her and was really starting to enjoy different aspects of it.

They had been out mustering again and whilst Aurora didn’t think that she would ever be good enough on a horse to charge after fleeing beasts the way that the others did, she was at least able to use the horse’s body to block them if she was in a position to. Putting the cattle through the yards had been incident free, as had the fencing. She was even starting to make inroads in the kitchen and given that she would never, she freely admitted, be a cordon bleu chef, she could string a basic meal together. It was all starting to feel normal and she was finally feeling as though she had settled in. That had worried her as it was going to make it all that much harder when she left.

Things with Cal had settled into a nice normality too. There was no holding back of affection now, although if they were working together, out of a desire not to make it uncomfortable for everybody else, they did their best to keep their hands to themselves. Although that failed occasionally too, and one or other of them would make a tender gesture that would bring on the wolf-whistles and half-smart comments.

The nights had been the best. Ever since they returned from Townsville they had slept beside each other. Prior to her attachment to Cal, Aurora had wondered how working together during the day and spending time intimately as well had worked for Trudy and Rick, or Fiona and Arthur. Finding herself in the same position, obviously without the marriage vows or length of experience, had partially answered that question. She did wonder whether that may change over time, although she knew that ‘normal’ couples disagreed and argued as well.

The last ten days since returning from Townsville had positively flown by, helped probably by the fact that they had worked through the weekend just gone. Aurora had tried very hard to ignore the fact that the days had been silently ticking away, each one bringing her closer to going home. She supposed the advantage that she had over Gran was that she had always known her departure date. Or maybe it had been better not to know, that way the hope of staying longer wouldn’t have been extinguished.

It seemed like only last week she had arrived, yet today was Aurora’s last full day at Bilgarra Springs. That thought had sat like a heavy weight on her shoulders since she had woken up this morning. Cal had snuck out the side French doors at around 4:30 a.m. and she hadn’t been able to go back to sleep. Even though everybody knew what was happening between them, they still weren’t comfortable with openly spending the night together. They had avoided detection in Townsville, but it wasn’t that easy here with everybody living in each other’s pockets. It wasn’t that they were in any way ashamed of what they had going, it was more that the future of it was so uncertain.

Cal had raised the subject this morning, not long before he had left. As soon as he had started to say that he wanted her to stay and that he wanted to build a life with her, Aurora had tried to cut him off. He had placed a finger over her lips and had told her that he wasn’t pressuring her or trying to manipulate her into doing what he wanted, but he did want her to know how he felt. With that he had slipped out of bed, pulled his jeans on and padded across the floor to the French doors and slipped out into the early morning.

Aurora had rolled over in the darkness and thumped the pillow into shape. All she had been able to smell was Callan. The bedclothes carried that unique scent that was him. She had buried her head in his pillow where the smell was strongest, inhaling deeply, desperately trying to imprint that smell in her memory. One more night. Her eyes had started to tear up at that point, but she had bitten her lip. She wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t. She had known going into this that they lived very different lives, separated by many miles. She just hadn’t reckoned on becoming so attached to him.
Later that afternoon, those thoughts of this morning were far from her mind as they sprawled out together on a blanket under the oldest of the weeping tea trees, the one at the bend in the river. Aurora thought of it as Gran’s tree. She hadn’t mentioned it to Callan, he would have thought that she was an incredible romantic at best, or that she had lost her marbles at worst.

They had saddled up and brought lunch down here. The others had left to go and work on the windmill and the piping from it to the damn. They had suggested that Cal do some odd jobs in the shed today and had insisted that they could manage without him. Both Cal and Aurora knew what their motive was and Aurora had to admit that she was touched that they would conspire to give her and Cal this final day alone.

Aurora figured that Fiona and Trudy had had a hand in this as well. Nothing had been said, but Cal had left the kitchen with lunch packed and ready to go, a mere couple of minutes after he had walked in. Fiona and Trudy hadn’t hidden their delight in the blossoming romance between the two of them and she suspected that they had plotted and schemed this little outing, perhaps with Cal’s input. She had to admit that, again, she was grateful. It was going to be so hard to leave tomorrow. She didn’t even have that final day of travelling to Townsville with Callan, like Gran had done with Will. Aurora had driven herself and she wasn’t sure whether a quick parting would be better or worse.

It wasn’t just leaving Cal though. She had grown to appreciate the rugged landscape and the no-frills people. She would miss it all when she went back. She figured it wouldn’t take her long to slip back into her own life, but she would have to say that she was definitely changed for the better by the experience.

Cal rolled on his side toward Aurora, grabbing one of her hands in his, and clasping it to his chest as he did so.

‘Ro, we have to talk about this. I know that you don’t want to, but there are things that need to be said.’

Aurora rolled to face him, looking him straight in the eye.

‘Cal, I love you, you know that. But I can’t stay out here. I have a wholly separate life and responsibilities back in Sydney. I would love nothing better than pretending that all that doesn’t exist and that this is all that there is for me, but it isn’t true. On top of that, spending one month here is completely different to giving up the only way of life that I have ever known to live out here permanently. I am a city girl. Until I came here I didn’t know any different.’

Aurora took a deep breath before she continued.

‘I simply don’t know Cal. I don’t know if love is enough. I have thought about this a lot and it worries me that if I came here just because of you, I would end up resenting you for all the things that I had to give up to have you. I have a job and students, a couple of close friends, a unit and neighbours and as stupid as it sounds, I miss my damn cat. I have a whole life that I would have to leave behind for a relationship that I don’t even know would work long term.’

Aurora’s eyes begged him to understand. Callan squeezed her hand.

‘Ro, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I want you to stay and I want you to know that. I want to see if what we have started goes somewhere. I can’t say that I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I don’t know yet if that’s true. At this point, we can’t possibly know if this is going to work long term, but I do want to try and I do want to do it with a view to building a life together.’

Callan roughly pushed his free hand through his hair in frustration, words tumbling out of him.

‘Saying all that, I don’t want you to stay just because I want you to. If you stay it has to be because you want to. So I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I want you to know that I want you to stay, but I don’t want to influence your decision either.’

Cal let go of her hand and rolled onto his back, clasping his hands together on his chest, waiting a few seconds before he spoke again.

‘It has to be your choice.’

Aurora felt like she had to say something but couldn’t for the life of her put her thoughts into words. Instead, she also rolled onto her back, half conscious of the clouds racing overhead on the strong afternoon breeze, partly visible through the branches of the tree. Like the clouds, thoughts were racing through her mind. She too felt herself to be at an impasse. She wanted to see where things went with Callan, but she couldn’t stay here. She had to admit that she liked it here, she really did, but it had only ever been a temporary thing in her mind and as a break it was great. She wasn’t sure though that she could face everyday out here. In reality, it was so far from everywhere and she expected that the isolation that she had really enjoyed would become lonely at some point. Then there was her life in Sydney. She had things to go back for. She enjoyed her life there.

She sat up, looking down at Cal, placing one of her hands over both of his.

‘Cal, this isn’t a decision that we can make right now. In any event I will have to go home. A month ago I simply walked out of my life and I can’t stay gone forever. I have responsibilities and I have never been one to shirk those.’

Cal looked intently at her, and brought her hand to his mouth, placing the gentlest of kisses on her knuckles.

‘I know. It’s just frustration. Falling for you wasn’t part of my life plan.’

Aurora lifted her eyebrows at him in her best attempt at a please explain.

Cal chuckled.

‘That came out wrong. What I meant was, I thought when I fell in love it would be with a girl from out here, who shared my passion and chose this life. It was never a remote possibility in my mind that I would get tangled up with somebody from the city. I rarely go there and you can count on both hands the visitors that we’ve had over the years. So I find myself in a situation that I wasn’t prepared for. A situation that just doesn’t have an answer.’

His gaze searched hers, looking for what, she didn’t know. Aurora gave him the only response that she could.

‘You’re right. There is no answer to this. The best I can give you is let’s just see what happens, which sounds very clichéd, I know.’

‘Ro, I would love to promise you that I could come to you and make a life for us in Sydney and I have to admit that I have thought about it, but I can’t. This way of life is in my blood horses, cattle I wouldn’t be the same person if I left all this behind and it may work for a while but...’

Cal let the thought drift off. Aurora’s expression became earnest.

‘Cal, if you left all this you would wither and die. The city would slowly suffocate you.’