Bilgarra Springs (15 page)

Aurora held up the photo. Arthur looked positively mortified. Aurora desperately hoped that she hadn’t inadvertently interrupted something. She took a couple of steps closer to the pair.

‘I have been reading through it and I was hoping that you might tell me a bit about her from back then.’

Aurora was a bit taken back when Arthur came bolt upright out of the chair, collected his hat, bent to kiss his wife and mumbled something about leaving you girls to talk and things to do in the shed and took off like the hounds of hell were at his heels. Fiona leant forward, her hands clasped over her knees and a crease had formed between her eyebrows where there wasn’t usually one and Aurora was suddenly very uncomfortable. She must have accidentally interrupted something.

Shit.

She mentally scrambled for something to say to back out of the awkward situation that she had just created. Fiona still looked stricken. Aurora’s next words were halting and tentative.

‘If now isn’t good...we can sit down another time. Or ... not at all if you would rather not...’

Aurora let the words trail off, watching the expression on Fiona’s face, which had moved from horror to resignation. There was definitely something going on here that she wasn’t aware of and, in her usual manner, she had managed to blunder in. Fiona looked at Aurora, seemingly searching her face, which struck Aurora as a little bit odd. What did it have to do with her?

‘No. It’s fine love. Sit down. What would you like to know?’

There was no enthusiasm in Fiona’s voice at all and if Aurora wasn’t mistaken, there was a definite note of dread. Aurora decided to test the waters and see what happened. If need be she could always terminate the conversation, but she wasn’t sure at all what she was about to get into.

Deep breath time.

‘Nothing in particular. This was on the page of the last entry that I read and I’m curious. I obviously never knew Gran as a young woman, you did and I was hoping that you could fill in some gaps for me.’

Fiona’s face slipped into a smile, her shoulders relaxed and she leaned back to get more comfortable, her hands resting on the arms of the chair. It was an amazing transformation and Aurora was starting to wonder if she had imagined the earlier tension. Fiona’s face softened and took on a lovely peacefulness when she spoke, her gaze on something out in the paddock, or maybe just lost in her memories.

‘Isabella was a breath of fresh air to this place while she was here. We had never met anybody quite like her.’

Fiona looked directly at Aurora, her mouth curving with the fond recollection.

‘She had no idea about anything that we did out here when she arrived. To her credit, it didn’t take her long though, and she wasn’t lazy, or wanting to be waited on, which we thought she would be, coming from the city and out of a wealthy family. But she was great. Her first attempts at cooking were hilarious. When she arrived I doubt that she even knew what a saucepan or frying pan looked like, let alone how to use one.’

Fiona looked at Aurora, one eyebrow arched. The allusion to her own lack of culinary expertise wasn’t lost on Aurora and she felt the need to defend herself.

‘That’s a bit unfair, I knew what they looked like when I arrived. I even knew how to use them, it was the stuff you put inside that was my downfall.’

Fiona chuckled.

‘You’re alright. You’re coming along nicely in the kitchen. It’s a pity that we don’t have you for another couple of months, you would have been able to actually cook something by then...’

Fiona let the words trail off, blatantly teasing Aurora. Aurora wasn’t offended. She was well aware of her deficiencies in the kitchen. Peter had always done all the cooking. Aurora opened her mouth to tell Fiona that she wasn’t starving and that it had always been Peter’s domain. She closed her mouth just as quickly. She wasn’t letting that cat out of the bag. If Gran had mentioned her marriage and the subsequent drama in a Christmas card to Fiona then that was all the information that she was getting. On the off chance that Gran hadn’t mentioned it, Aurora was shutting up.

Fiona watched the emotions race across Aurora’s face and hoped that she knew that she had been kidding. The last thing she wanted was to torment the poor girl. Aurora had enough shocks coming to her, without her adding more fuel to the fire. Fiona was relieved when Aurora finally smiled.

‘I really don’t think that my flatmate, Orinoco, my Siamese cat, is going to appreciate the finer qualities of cordon bleu cooking.’

Aurora chuckled and Fiona could see the fondness for the cat in her eyes. Fiona wasn’t surprised. She had watched Aurora with Rough and Tumble enough times to know that the girl possessed an affectionate nature. It was a pity that the marriage had ended in tragedy, on both counts. In Fiona’s opinion, Aurora would have made a great mother...but that subject was not one that she was going to broach with Aurora. Fiona felt that she more than had her hands full with the current subject. Aurora’s words and slight chuckle snapped her out of her thoughts.

‘But then again, being Siamese, maybe she would...’

‘Your grandmother shared your sense of humour. From what I knew of her, she was always happy to poke fun at herself and she took others doing it with good grace. There were times when she had us in stitches, making fun of something silly that she had done that day. We all got good mileage out of her soreness after the mustering trip. Have you read about that yet?’

Aurora nodded but looked a little quizzical. Fiona figured that she was probably wondering why she had also read the diary. That was an easy one to answer.

‘About the journal, I wasn’t snooping on your grandmother or anything like that. Living as we do out here we are conscious of respecting one and other’s privacy. After your grandmother had gone, she left the journal on the bed, along with a note to let me know that she had intentionally left it here. She was absolutely distraught at having to return home and she said that if she took it with her it would be all too tempting to keep rereading it and she would live in the past, rather than going on with what the future held. At the time I thought that it showed courage to be able to leave behind something that I knew that she desperately wanted to cling to. I have to admit that I read it many times, reliving the experiences and hanging on to the little bit that we had of her, so I am grateful that she left it.’

Aurora remained silent, not wanting to stop the flow of words. Fiona’s expression held a mix of sadness and wistfulness and she reached over for the photo that was sitting in Aurora’s lap. Aurora wordlessly held it out for her. Fiona held it with both hands, gazing fondly at it, her hands shaking ever so slightly. When she looked up Aurora noticed that her eyes were full of unshed tears. She felt bad. She hadn’t intended to upset Fiona.

‘Your grandmother was beautiful, both inside and out. Your grandfather was a very lucky man to have had her. I hope he realised just how lucky.’

With that last statement a single tear made its way down the old lady’s cheek. Aurora was dumbstruck. She didn’t know what to say or do, whether to offer some sort of comfort or not. Fiona was a strong, self-contained woman and Aurora was too unsure of herself to risk hugging her or probing into it too deeply. She took the path of least resistance and remained silent.

Fiona met Aurora’s eyes with a watery smile.

‘I know that she was only here for a month, but I came to love your grandmother like a sister. If things had worked out differently, then maybe...’

Fiona paused, took a deep breath and Aurora noticed that she appeared to struggle with what to say next. Aurora decided it was her turn to jump in.

‘I didn’t mean to upset you Fiona. It’s just that the journal shows a woman who was not the grandmother that I knew. Of course there are similarities between her as a young woman and an older one, but I didn’t know her then and from what I have read, she is somebody that I think that I would have enjoyed. I’m really curious. The entries about sneaking out to spend time with the horse are just so not what I would have expected.’

Fiona laughed.

‘She only thought she was sneaking about. We all knew where she went and what she did. We just pretended that we didn’t. Will was walking back from the shed to the house one afternoon and noticed her hanging over the fence. She wouldn’t have been able to see him, but he could certainly see her. He mentioned it to us and after that we used to have a private joke about the fact that she would go missing for a while every day. She loved that animal. It was good to see. He wasn’t the most charming horse, but he certainly took to her.’

Fiona paused, seemingly lost in her memories.

‘When she arrived, as I said, she was hopeless at anything domestic, but she certainly wasn’t stupid or too afraid to have a go, and by the time she left, she had learned to cook, do the laundry, mending and ironing, and general cleaning. She was a hard worker.’

Fiona’s expression had become earnest.

‘As a guest here, we didn’t expect her to help out or work, but she insisted and she worked hard. She put in full days, no matter what it was and she gave it her best shot. She burnt herself several times with the iron or in the kitchen through inexperience, had her hands nicked by barbed wire while we were out fencing, and got battered a bit by branches and large rocks while we were out mustering. She never complained. Not about anything. She just seemed to decide that she was going to enjoy whatever it was and set about doing it. She certainly went home a different woman to the one that arrived.’

Fiona’s gaze dropped, looking at the photo on her lap before handing it back to Aurora and meeting her eyes.

‘Your grandmother was a very strong woman and I think that there is a lot of that in you.’

Fiona pushed herself to her feet.

‘I don’t have any more photos of your grandmother inside, but there are a few of the rest of us when we younger, from around the time that she was here if you want to come and have a sticky beak.’

Aurora took a long time to straighten out of the chair, rubbing her thighs as she did. She appreciated Fiona’s offer and tried to smile, biting her lip with the discomfort of getting her legs moving again.

‘I would like that a lot, I just hope that you aren’t in a hurry.’

Fiona laughed heartily at that.

‘Those photos have been there for over 60 years. I can’t imagine that a few more minutes is going to make any difference.’

She moved past Aurora, gently squeezing the hand closest to her. Fiona hoped with all her heart that when Aurora finished the journal
and discovered the part of Isabella’s life that it was so important to Isabella to share, that Aurora had the maturity to realise that things are never black and white, but a shade of grey somewhere in between.

eleven

T
rouble

The closer the time came to leave for the wedding on the neighbouring property, the more Aurora struggled with it. On the one hand, the chance to get out and have some fun attracted her, but on the other, the fact that she wasn’t going to know anybody except the crew from Bilgarra Springs put her off. She wasn’t desperately shy, she was simply uncomfortable around people that she didn’t know. Her reluctance to jump into situations with strangers used to drive Peter mad. They’d had more than one serious argument about it.

This time at least she would be surrounded by fifteen people that she knew, but it was the stares and the wondering from the others that she was dreading. She was sure that they would be friendly, it was the ‘who, what, where, when’ questions that she knew would be running through all their minds that were going to make her uncomfortable. She didn’t like the feeling of being under scrutiny. As there was no choice, she had joined in with the others, loading cars and pretending to be looking forward to something that she was ambivalent about at best.

On top of that, so far she had mostly spent time with the others in the context of work, or after work, where the conversation had revolved around what had happened during the day or discussion about what they had planned for the following day. She wasn’t quite sure what she would talk about if it wasn’t tied to Bilgarra. Aurora was one for facing facts head on and she couldn’t dodge the fact that she would have next to nothing in common with anybody else. It wasn’t like they could discuss the latest article on native title in the
Australian Law Journal
. She hoped that she didn’t stick out too much as not being one of them.

After a very quick burst of energy after breakfast, everything was loaded and ready to go. They were staying in the barracks there so there was no need for camping equipment in general, but they had thrown in bedding, towels etc. Sophie and Jeff, the couple getting married next door, were going to do barbeques to cook for everybody, but nonetheless, the Bilgarra crew still took a massive amount of food with them.

It struck her as a thoughtful gesture. In general, Peter’s friends and their wives, when they had come over for a barbeque, had brought the obligatory bottle of wine and left everything else up to her – a bottle of wine that was nominally presented to her, but which they invariably ended up drinking themselves. It wasn’t true of all his friends, but it certainly was the behaviour of the majority.

Her friends were more considerate than that, but Peter had driven just about all of hers away, she could now admit. His need to isolate her was now as clear as day. She just wished that she had been able to see it sooner. It would have saved everyone, most especially her, a lot of pain and heartache. She reflexively placed her hand on her stomach. Their son would have been around seven years old, at school… Aurora wrenched her hand off her stomach as if her own flesh had just scorched her. She couldn’t go there, she simply couldn’t. She spun around and marched into the homestead, desperate to find something to do to occupy her mind.

She collided with Callan as she rushed through the doorway, her mind a whirl of emotions. He caught her arms to stop her from falling. She looked up at him and he was sure that what he could see in her eyes was absolute terror and if he wasn’t mistaken she felt like she was shaking.

‘You ok?’

Aurora plastered a huge and very false smile in place.

‘Absolutely. Just coming in to check if Fiona needs anything more taken out.’

Cal didn’t believe her for a second. She wasn’t a convincing liar and he couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had happened that had freaked her out so much and forced her to cover it up. His mind instantly went to Keith. If that little scumbag had touched her in an inappropriate way he was going to kill him. He looked at her again, and she seemed a little calmer and more settled than when she had barrelled into him at a hundred miles an hour a minute ago.

He wouldn’t have been surprised if it been had something to do with Keith. He couldn’t think of any other reason that she would be taking off across the yard as if the hounds of hell were at her heals. He would have to keep an eye on Keith over the weekend. See if there was anything to his suspicions. He would absolutely deal with it if there was something going on that shouldn’t be. Aurora was a guest in his home and he would be damned if he would let that wormy, little shit do anything to upset her. He decided that he would give her discomfort one further probe and see if she still fobbed him off.

‘Sure?’

Aurora nodded. Cal released her arms and stepped back allowing her the space to get around him. She still had an odd look on her face, but now it was more startled than scared. Aurora bolted down the hall into the safety of her own room, closing the door, leaning against it and sliding to a sitting position on the floor. She was shaking like anything. She leant her head back and took a couple of deep breaths and rubbed her arms where Cal’s hands had been.

She was that keyed up that it felt like the skin on her arms had been burnt. She had thought that she had put the whole Peter mess well and truly behind her. This was the first time in the last eight years that it had overtaken her like that. She took another shaky breath. She now knew that it could sneak up on her at any time. Her heart rate was slowly returning to normal. Cal’s touch hadn’t helped. She seemed to have an awareness of him that wasn’t helping either, in light of Theresa’s role in his life.

Slamming car doors from outside intruded into her thoughts. Aurora pushed herself up off the floor and opened the door, scanning the hallway, she didn’t particularly want to run into Callan again. Her stuff was already in her rental car, and it was simply a matter of slipping out and into the Cruiser. She was taking Heather, Con, Mike and Gerry over with her. Or rather, one of them was taking her as somebody else, who at least knew where they were going, was going to drive her car over.

She took off down the hall as fast as she could while there was nobody about, dashed through the front door and headed for the general area of the shed where everything was waiting, walking as fast as she could without actually running. She got three quarters of the way over before Heather fell in beside her.

‘Don’t know about you Aurora but I am so looking forward to these few days off and getting away from here. The last couple of months have been absolutely hectic and it will be nice to wind down for a bit. Do everybody the world of good.’

Not being a part of the last few months, all Aurora could do was smile in reply. Heather continued.

‘You wait, you will have a ball. Sophie and Jeff are a hoot and her family enjoy themselves no matter what. I will be very surprised if you don’t have the time of your life.’

On the inside, Aurora was still sceptical but she wasn’t about to admit that to Heather. She opted for a non-committal response instead.

‘Sounds promising.’

If she were being honest it felt a little like being dragged to the dentist, but as that would probably be a little bit insulting, she decided against sharing it. There wasn’t time for Heather to continue with the matter before they reached the Cruiser.

Once there it was all systems go with organising people and setting off. Heather informed everybody that she was driving over and they were going to draw straws to drive back. She was working on the assumption that they were all going to be at least mildly hung over and more than a little worse for wear, so whoever drew the short straw... Aurora knew without a shadow of a doubt that it would be her. She was the resident non-drinker and therefore probably going to be the designated driver. If that turned out not to be the case she would be very surprised. She wasn’t prepared to volunteer right now though!

The car was full of noisy chatter on the way over. From what Aurora could work out, the bride and groom had met some years before on the property. She appeared to be the daughter of the owners, and he had only worked there for a few months before they became involved. There were a number of stories thrown around regarding the jokes that the others had played on him and the tough time that her parents had given him when the two had first become a couple. They had Aurora laughing even though she didn’t know any of the people involved.

It turned out that Theresa and the groom’s sister were the bridesmaids, with Callan and groom’s brother as best man and groomsman. Aurora instantly tried to imagine what Cal would look like in a suit, that was of course assuming that they were going down the suit track. She pulled her thoughts up quickly. She had no right to be thinking about him like that and it felt incredibly disloyal to Theresa. She had been nothing but nice to Aurora since she arrived. Lusting after her boyfriend certainly wouldn’t be good form. Aurora dragged her attention back to the banter taking place in the car for the rest of the journey, closing her mind as best she could to any thoughts of Callan.

The thirty minute trip over there passed quickly and before she knew it they were all tumbling out of the cars and the frenzy to get everything unpacked and organised began, amid back slapping, greetings and more jokes. Aurora had to admit that she enjoyed the mostly carefree nature of the life out here. No traffic jams, no deadlines, no bustling crowds none of the things that usually drove her blood pressure through the roof. Although, the more she thought about it, the more she came to realise that maybe life out here wasn’t that carefree. They were certainly at the mercy of the weather and world market prices. Maybe it had to do with attitude rather than circumstances. Perhaps that was a lesson that she could take back with her to Sydney when she returned to her everyday life.

Aurora was trying not to watch but she couldn’t help but notice that Theresa had come out to meet Cal when the horde had arrived. The briefest twinge of jealousy rippled through her when he planted a kiss on the top of Theresa’s head. Even though Aurora herself wasn’t a touchy feely type of person, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be adored by somebody who spontaneously showed affection regardless of where and when.

She was jostled out of her private world by Heather, who with her hands full herself, nudged Aurora to get her attention.

‘Follow me and I will show you where we are staying.’

Heather didn’t wait for an answer, just strode across the dead grass towards a large cluster of buildings. Aurora quickly bundled what she could into her own arms and followed her. It turned out that there were empty rooms everywhere, a couple with double beds, the rest with singles.

‘This used to be a much larger property until a large chunk of it was sold off in the late eighties. At one stage, these rooms were all full, but once the property was divided up there was no longer any need for such a huge staff.’

Heather watched Aurora’s attention darting all over the place. Aurora’s gaze sharpened briefly when Theresa and Cal crossed her line of vision, but Heather pretended not to notice. There would be time later to push that issue a little further. Heather smiled to herself at the scenario that she thought that she could see unfolding.

‘This is the best place for parties. There is room for heaps of people to stay and we have been to a few absolutely wild ones over the past two years that we have been at Bilgarra. Hopefully we can add another to the list this weekend. Wander to the other end and throw your gear in one of the rooms.’

With that, Heather darted left and dumped her armload on top of the bed. Aurora was about four paces further down the makeshift hallway when Con followed Heather into their room, dropping his own load beside hers. Aurora passed the room where she had seen both Cal and Theresa go in, and she couldn’t help but peer inside. Theresa was now standing on her own in the room that she must have already stayed in overnight. Aurora wasn’t surprised to see that it held a double bed and not a single. A little stab of envy hit her in the stomach.

She moved along another couple of doors, found an unclaimed room and placed what she had of her stuff down. She turned around and was half way out the door when she heard Cal’s voice.

‘I’m gonna take this one Rick. That way I will be as far away from you noisy lot as I can get.’