Beyond the Pine (6 page)

As she describes the world as I’ve always known it, I watch as the wonder, the intrigue washes over her face. I’m not sure I’d ever held a look like that before, not until I saw her at least. The sight of her has me mesmerized, completely in awe at seeing my world through her sheltered eyes. It’s like seeing for the first time all over again. I’d come to realize this alien feeling was becoming more and more normal the longer I spent with this girl.

There was a time I’d have hated it, but as I watch her eyes light up once more, the hope that it never ended sank into my chest, nestling in deep.

“When we were done gathering supplies, there was a man behind the counter wearing what looked like a doctor’s coat. He smiled at me, gave me candy and we came back here to the farm,” she interrupts my thoughts, her voice still low before she shrugs. “My whole life, I’ve been told that everything beyond the farm was terrible, riddled with sin. But that day, I never felt any of it. It was different, but it wasn’t bad or scary. I guess that’s always bothered me, Asher.” she shakes her head, looking up at me. “Why would they tell us that if it weren’t true?”

I can see the mixture of confusion and betrayal dancing in her green eyes. As much as I want to tell her the truth, I don’t want to shatter her world, either. Finding something in the middle, I choose my words carefully before I slowly begin to speak.

“It’s not all a lie,” I admit, letting a sigh leave my lips as I continue. “Not all people are good out there, Riley. There’s a lot of truth in what you’ve been told. People lie, they cheat and look out for themselves first. There’s crime. People kill, do harm to one another, sometimes for petty reasons,” I say sadly, hating the look in her eyes as she takes in my words. “That part? All of that’s a fact.”

Unable to stop myself, I reach between us and take her hand in mine, causing her breathing to hitch slightly.

“It’s not all bad either, though,” I continue, digging down deep in search of the optimistic side I’d drowned in whiskey years ago. “There are still a lot of good people left in the world. People who go out of their way to help you, make you smile. You have to look a little harder for them sometimes, but they’re out there. I think it’s fair to say that what you’ve been told and what you experienced that day? The world kinda tends to fall somewhere in the middle.”

She doesn’t respond to me for a long moment, but her thoughtful eyes say she heard me. Her silence makes me unsure, but the warring emotion in her expression has me wondering how my careful words had left her.

It’s not until her eyes shift to our still entwined hands, then to my face, that I realize I’ve begun slowly stroking the pad of my thumb over her fingers.

“The world is nothing to fear, Riley,” I offer, squeezing her hand and watching her breathing stagger. “You don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

Although I don’t say as much, something in her eyes tells me she knows my words are meant for more than the world outside.

The feel of her hot breath on my chest washes over me as I lean closer, the temptation of her kiss pulling me forward like a beacon of hope more than I can resist.

She’s forbidden, but that doesn’t deter me.

Somehow, it only makes me want her more.

“If that’s true, then why are we both trembling, Asher?” she asks, her mouth brushing against mine before she pulls her lower lip between her teeth. “If I have nothing to fear, why can’t I breathe?”

“Shh,” I whisper, pressing her chin gently with the pad of my thumb, releasing her full bottom lip from her teeth. “I’m not going to hurt you, Riley. You just have to trust me.”

Her hooded green eyes dance over mine, something like realization in them as they soften.

“I already do,” she breathes, her eyebrows scrunching together painfully for a moment. “That’s why I’m scared.”

“Don’t be,” I husk, resting my hand on the base of her neck, holding her in place. “You’re safe.”

Before she can finish nodding, my lips are pressing against hers.

Riley

As his lips touch mine, I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop it.

There’s something inside me, something that’s always been hidden deep inside that feels as though it’s been awakened for the first time.

Tough as he looks, there’s something soft about Asher’s kiss I can’t explain. When his tongue gently traces my lips, coaxing them open, I know I should end this dangerous game, but I don’t.

Instead, I part my lips.

The feel of his hot tongue touching mine sending chills down my spine, straight to my belly where it settles, simmering with need.

He releases his grip on my hand, raising it to my neck and cradling me there, holding me in place as he takes control.

When he deepens the kiss, my fingers grip his wrist, not willing to let him pull away as he swallows the low whimper leaving my chest.

As one of his large, calloused hands falls over my waist, I become lightheaded at his touch. By the time he pulls away a moment later, we’re both breathless, our chests heaving as my eyes flutter open, finding his already staring into mine.

Somehow reading my thoughts, he rests his forehead against mine, his grip still tight on me as our breathing begins to slow.

“Asher,” I husk, swallowing the lump in my throat as reality comes crashing back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...”

“Shh,” he whispers, shaking his head slightly as he gently traces my lips with his fingertips, quieting me. “Don’t do that, sugar.”

Staring up into his blue-green eyes, I swallow hard, hating the feeling swimming in my chest.

“Certain things are expected of me,” I manage, holding his gaze. “I have responsibilities here...”

“Do you want them?” he cuts me off, his eyes searching my face, falling on my lips, swollen from his kiss, before they return to my eyes. “Riley...”

“No,” I cut him off, shaking my head weakly. “I don’t.”

“What do you want?” he rasps, so close his lips brush over mine as he speaks.

“Something I shouldn’t,” I confess.

“Say it, Riley,” he husks. “Tell me what you want.”

I stare into him, my next words far from a mystery for either of us, but so foreign from everything I’ve been taught, everything I’ve felt for so long, I need a moment.

I let my eyes dance over his face, absorbing each and every detail of his masculine features.

Somehow, he’s everything and nothing I ever thought I’d want. Deep down, I know there’s nothing that can be done to change my course. Despite what this beautiful man might believe, I won’t ever be the keeper of my own fate. As long as I’m a member of this community, the only home I’ve ever known, I’ll always have certain expectations to live up to.

I’ve always known my life will never completely be my own.

I know all of this. However, in this moment, I just want to say it. Even if it’s just this once and it’s all in vain, I know I can’t swallow this truth forever.

“You,” I whisper, silently worshipping the flecks of green in his eyes. “Asher, I want you.”

Asher

By the time she pulls away from me an hour later, my head is swimming with desire, the need to take her nearly overwhelming.

I don’t think I’d gotten this turned on by making out with a girl since I was fourteen, but Riley’s lips are like a drug.

And I was hooked after one taste.

“We should get back,” she whispers, pulling a reluctant nod from me.

I stand with her, watching her slowly turn to face me, looking up at me with a combination of wonder and worry as she smooths her hands over her dress.

“What is it?” I ask as she begins to bite on her swollen lower lip.

“We can’t...” she starts, looking around for a moment before returning her eyes to mine. “Asher,” she breathes against my lips, pressing her hands to my chest. “Asher, I care for you, but we can’t... what we’re doing? It’s sinful.”

“No, sugar, it’s not,” I whisper, slightly shaking my head as I pull her close again. “Not tasting you, not worshipping every inch of you when you’re all I crave? The very reason for every breath I take? Riley...
that
would be a sin.”

I watch her as she swallows hard, the effect of my words showing in her hooded green eyes as she clears her throat, quickly recovering as she shakes her head clear.

“I’m serious, Asher. No one can ever find out about what happened, what we did...”

Eager to soften the nervous expression on her face, I opt for a lighthearted answer, hoping it brings her smile back to me.

“Who am I gonna tell?” I ask with a smirk, bending to meet her lips, my chest pulsing in delight as I watch the corners of her mouth turn upward. “I’m a man of my word. I promised I’d keep your secrets, sugar. I meant it.”

Studying my face, she finally gives me a quick nod, relief washing over her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I whisper, watching her turn away to face the stable door, mentally preparing herself to return to her reality. “Riley, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You know that, don’t you?”

She turns to face me, studying my features as the smile fades from her lips. As she releases a sigh, she shakes her head.

“No, Asher,” she says sadly. “I don’t.”

“Riley...” I start, but she cuts me off.

“I know I don’t exactly know how things work out there,” she admits, gesturing beyond the tall trees that line the property she calls home. “But I know enough to know that our realities are different, Asher. In here, you adhere to the rules or you face consequences.”

“And those consequences are worse than giving someone control over your life? Your fate?”

Although my voice is stained with sarcasm, I’m only partially kidding. When her expression remains serious, her eyes falling further, my chest falls with it.

“Yes,” she nods. “If I disobey, I won’t just be admonished, Asher. I’ll be
exiled
. I’ll be a pariah, an apostate. The Reverend could banish me from the farm for refusing his word.”

I’m about to argue, surely a man of God would never treat one of his own in such a harsh way, but the severity of her expression tells me the words don’t come from fear.

They come from truth.

“That’s fucking crazy,” I say, unable to come up with anything better as I shake my head in shock.

“It’s not crazy, it’s
my
reality,” she argues, slowly pulling away from me, smoothing her clothes again. “I don’t have a choice here, Asher,” she whispers, searching my eyes. “I know you don’t understand, but my fate? It’s not my own. It never has been. It was sealed before I took my first breath and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“You might think your fate is sealed, but mine? Mine isn’t,” I counter, my voice soft as I let the need for her wash over me. “I’ll be damned if I let
anyone
treat you...”

“What are you going to do?” she asks, cutting me off as she swipes fresh tears away, hopelessness staining her voice. “What? Are you going to whisk me away?”

“If that’s what it takes, then yes,” I promise, hating the look of disbelief on her face.

“Why?” she asks, shaking her head again as she looks up at me in confusion. “Why do you care, Asher? You barely know me and I know virtually
nothing
of you. Aside from the taste of your kiss,” she whispers, her eyes sullen as she raises her fingertips to her full lips. “You’re a mystery. And to you? I’m just some girl. I’m not important to anyone outside of this place,” she shakes her head, lowering her hand as I take in her sad eyes. “Why do you think it’s your responsibility to save me?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, taking the step that separates us and brushing the pad of my thumb over her jaw, loving the tremble that moves through her. “I don’t know why I care, why I can’t walk away from you. I’ve never had a problem with that before,” I confess, my low voice matching hers, loving the feel of her chest against mine. “But you’re wrong. You’re not just
some girl
, Riley. I know we’ve just found each other, but something inside me says I’ve known you forever. Even though I know I should, something inside me won’t let you go.”

She stares back at me, my words taking us both by surprise.

I know how I feel about her, but it’s been a long time since I let myself feel anything. I’d spent so many days on my own, preferred it that way. By time I’d spent enough time with someone for anything to spark, I was back on my bike, chasing pavement.

Riley’s different, though. Even though I’ve had more than enough chance to bolt at the feelings coursing through me since the moment I’d met her, I can’t.

There’s something inside her, something inside us both that won’t let me.

Everything about her touch, her kiss, it tells me she feels the same way. As she releases a low sigh, she gently begins to shake her head, her eyes begin filling with tears before shifting away, her sadness tearing through me.

“You should, Asher,” she whispers, her gaze hesitantly reclaiming mine.

“What?” I manage, my gravelly voice breaking with emotion I’d not felt in decades, maybe ever. “Riley, what are you saying?”

“There are things you don’t know about this place, Asher. No matter how much I might want to, there are things I’ll never be able to give you,” she sniffs, choking back a quiet sob. “If you ever want to be happy again, you should just forget about me. Run away from this place and don’t ever look back.”

I consider her words, her reaction to everything and think for a moment before I say the only thing I can, the alien feeling of vulnerability eating at my soul.

“What if I can’t do that?” I ask low. “Riley, what if I don’t believe that this is the only option?”