Beyond Reason (27 page)

My fingers grasped along the hem of his sweater, finally finding an entrance. Feeling his bare skin against my fingertips as my hands glided along his abdomen, created a rush of nervous excitement through me. I wanted so much more with Ayden, and with each deepened kiss, it felt like he did as well. His breathing became jagged as his hands slid down my back, against the terrycloth of the towel, when he picked me up and gently placed me on the counter, our mouths never parting from one another.

He stood between my legs, placing his hands on my knees, which sent a prickle across my skin. Ayden took it slow as he slid his hands up my legs, stopping just short. His gaze darkened as I pleaded with him for more, but his hands returned to my back as he slid me forward into his arms, placing more kisses along my chest as my body trembled.

“Please,” I begged.

“Anticipation,” he said, placing one long kiss along my mouth. “Now, maybe this’ll give you something to look forward to after our day’s activities.”

“Are you sure today’s activities can’t include more of this?” I asked, my voice almost hoarse.

“We shall see,” he said, slipping his mouth over mine as his hand cupped my chin.

“Are you guys still here?” Brandy asked.

Ayden broke his mouth from mine, and I threw my head back in laughter.

“Maybe, I should move to Portland,” he whispered.

“Your sister will always find you,” I teased.

“Who wears earmuffs?” Mason asked, laughing.

“Someone who has cold ears.” I scowled at him, as I rubbed the furry contraptions attached to my head.

“Hey, don’t diss this girl’s methods for staying warm,” Ayden laughed. “It’s cute.”

“Not sexy?” I teased.

“That might be stretching it,” Ayden replied. “Actually. No, you make it sexy.”

“Right answer.” I smiled as he laced his fingers through mine.

Even though we were all planning separate activities today, we left with the guys and planned to meet up tonight for dinner. The girls were planning on a movie marathon of romantic comedies, and I was grateful for an excuse to not indulge since it wasn’t my thing anyway.

“So are you going to tell me what you’ve got planned?” I asked Ayden.

“Breakfast first,” he said, pointing toward a small café.

“You know me well.”

“Have fun,” Mason said, giving his brother a quick fist pump while Aaron and Jason waved.

“Thanks. Be safe,” I said, as Ayden opened the door to the café.

The strong aroma of cinnamon hit me and I knew I’d be in heaven.

“They’re supposed to have the best cinnamon French toast in the area,” he said, grinning.

The server sat us near the windows overlooking the slopes, and now that the clouds were pushing their way back into the sky, there was a good chance we’d get some more snow, which made me completely happy.

I scooted the chair in and didn’t even bother opening the menu.

“Already know?” Ayden asked.

“Cinnamon French toast, of course.”

His gaze focused on mine as my mind wandered back to this morning. I felt the flush in my cheeks and Ayden started laughing. “Thinking about something?”

“Possibly.”

Ayden ordered two mimosas and French toast as I attempted to remind myself that we were in a public place.

“I have a question for you…” my voice trailed off.

“Go for it.” The heat in his eyes almost distracted me from wanting to know the truth behind his fights so I dipped my eyes toward the red-and-white-checked paper placemat.

“I feel like the fighting isn’t past tense. Do you still do it?” I toyed with the paper napkin in my lap and waited for his response.

Ayden let out a deep sigh, and I felt his gaze fall from me as he contemplated what exactly to say. I hoped, unlike Austin, that he’d stick with honesty.

The server set down our drinks and I quickly took a sip, returning my eyes to Ayden. He looked back up at me, and the rawness behind his eyes was no longer hidden.

“I started fighting when I was in college because I knew I didn’t want to work in construction with my dad. I love him to death, but we were never on the same page. I wanted to own my own business, but everything I came up with needed a lot of financial backing to get it off the ground. Initially, I got into the fighting to save enough to start the drink company.”

“But you obviously don’t need the money now,” I said.

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and laced his fingers together. He took another deep breath in and pressed his lips into a thin line before speaking again.

“I don’t want to sound like a monster…”

“You never would.”

He ran his fingers along the stubble on his jaw. “You’re absolutely right. I don’t need the money any longer, but I love the rush I get when I step into the ring. It’s an incredible surge of adrenaline and it’s a good outlet.”

“A good outlet for what?” I asked, searching for something deeper. I knew it was there, I just hoped he’d share it with me.

“I enjoy what I do, Lily,” he paused as his gaze darkened. “But it’s not my passion. I don’t know what is. I’d hate to think it’s fighting, but I really do enjoy it. There’s something about treating your body as a machine and stretching it to its limits that’s incredible.”

The look in his eyes was almost primal as he explained his love for getting in the ring, and the heat from earlier began spreading through me as I hid my smile and my thoughts.

“I hope you don’t think less of me.”

“Think less of you?” I questioned. “You have no idea the thoughts that are running through my head at the moment.”

“How so?” he asked, perplexed.

“Let’s just say the idea of dribbling syrup on something other than the French toast sounds like a great idea.”

His gaze fastened on mine at my admission before breaking into a grin. “Seriously?”

I nodded. “I’d love to see you at one of these events, if that’s okay?”

“I have one coming up when I get back in Seattle. I actually had a fight that Monday when I was in Portland breaking the news to you.”

“I don’t understand how you don’t look all beat up…” A lump surfaced in the back of my throat as I spoke. The reaction completely took me off guard.

“I told you. I’m good. Although, I’m getting a bit long-in-the-tooth, I suppose. But it hasn’t slowed me down yet.”

“Does Mason know?” I asked.

“It’s hard to keep things from Mason. It’s the twin thing. But he doesn’t know how often I fight.”

“How often do you fight?” I asked.

The server placed a giant serving of cinnamon French toast in front of both of us, and the strong aroma of cinnamon and nutmeg wafted through the air.

“About every six weeks. Any longer and I lose my edge, but between this fight and the last it’ll only be about three weeks.”

“Why the rush between fights this time?” I asked, feeling uneasy.

“The winnings are pretty incredible. It’s the first fight of the year and it was too hard to resist.”

“But you’re not doing it for the winnings…”

He shook his head. “No, but that doesn’t hurt.” A smirk appeared and my worries slipped away.

“You’re sure you’d be okay if I came?”

“I’d love it. No one has ever come to one of my fights.”

“What about Mason?”

“I mean no female. Other than Sammie when she was a model.”

A sinking feeling appeared as my mind drifted to the conversation from the other night. “So who’s the organizer of these things?”

Ayden’s expression fell and his gaze locked on mine and I knew.

It was Mason.

“Your brother?”

He nodded. “It also helps him out.”

“What do you mean, helps him out?”

“This can’t go anywhere, Lily. You promise me that, right?”

I nodded, his gaze not leaving mine.

“He got into some gambling trouble. Sorry, that’s not being completely honest. He’s in some financial trouble still. He stopped gambling, but on his salary working with my father, he still owes a lot to some very unfriendly people. I tried to offer to pay it off, but he won’t take my money.”

“Wait, he won’t take your money, but he’ll take your blood in exchange.”

“It’s not like that. I don’t lose and he always wins. This is the last fight he’ll need to be free and clear.”

“And then after?” I questioned. “Will you still fight?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Wow. I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t think less of him. I know it looks like our family’s got it all together, but my dad was pretty hard on both of us. I guess ‘cause we’re guys. Brandy always got off pretty easy. But Mason and I have both used the fighting circuit to our advantage. He just kind of got into trouble recently and…”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to make excuses for him. We’ve all done things we wished we hadn’t. It’s just the thought of you getting hurt makes things…”

“I won’t get hurt. I promise.”

I hated hearing promises that weren’t a sure thing, and I knew this was one of those, but I also knew Ayden confided something that he hadn’t shared with anyone, and it made me feel even closer to him.

“I’ll support you however you need.”

Ayden shook his head in disbelief. “You’re an incredible woman, Lily. I feel so lucky to have you in my life.”

“I feel the same way about you,” I whispered, feeling my heart rate increase as he continued looking at me in such an intense way. “Our toast is probably getting cold.”

“Do you think they’d let us take any syrup to go?” he teased.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I quipped, slicing into the delicious breakfast. “So are you going to tell me where you’re whisking me off to after this?”

“Tubing.”

“No way! I haven’t done that since I was a kid.”

“I’m sure it’s like riding a bike. Once you know how…”

“That will be so much fun.” My phone buzzed and I glanced down, surprised to see a text from Austin, asking if I was free tonight.

Shit! I wasn’t expecting to hear from him today.

“What’s up?” Ayden asked.

“Awkward, but uh…”

“Austin?” he asked bemused.

“Yup. He wanted to know about dinner tonight. Think I should invite him out?” I teased.

“Probably not. Unless he doesn’t mind being a third-wheel.”

“Wouldn’t he be like a ninth wheel or something since we’re all doing dinner together?”

“Actually, I fibbed. I thought it would be nice just you and me.”

My stomach fluttered with a parade of butterflies as his request settled over me.

“Unless you…”

“I’d love it,” I interrupted, already texting Austin that tonight wouldn’t work but maybe lunch on another day might be nice. I got no immediate reply so I tucked the phone away and enjoyed the rest of my breakfast with Ayden.