Beyond Reason (24 page)

I took a step back and looked into Ayden’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I need to make my dinner appointment. But it’s not even about Austin. I just don’t want to keep being your second-thought. I’ve already made plans and I intend to keep them.”

His stare turned icy as he dropped his arms from me. “Do you want to know where I was last night?”

I wasn’t sure I did.

“I went over to the lodge and sat in the bar, trying to figure out how to make you see that I was the guy you needed, not Austin,” Ayden’s voice was gravelly as he looked into my eyes. He started laughing. “You know, I saw Austin last night when I was at the bar. And unless he makes out with all of his clients, I don’t think he was being completely honest with you.”

I felt like I was slapped in the face when I heard Ayden’s words.

“Was it Stephanie?” I asked, not that it really mattered. We weren’t a couple. He could date whomever he wanted. I just didn’t want to be lied to.

Or at least that’s what I told myself.

“No. It wasn’t Stephanie.”

“Well, it’s really no concern of mine, or yours, for that matter. He’s single. I’m single,” I replied, loosening my ponytail, hoping to rid myself of the sudden headache that appeared. “It doesn’t matter who he makes out with or doesn’t make out with.”

I was lying through my teeth, and Ayden saw right through it. I could tell as he crossed his arms.

“So you’re okay with being lied to?” he questioned.

“There’s nothing serious between us so it’s no skin off my nose.” I pressed my lips together, and I tried to hold in the mix of embarrassment and anger that was rising. I wasn’t even sure who to direct it at any more.

“Don’t you think better of yourself?” Ayden asked. His touch startled me as he placed his hand on my waist, but it gave me something I so desperately craved with him, closeness

“I do, which is why I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret when you sober up. I don’t want to put myself through that. So yeah, I do respect myself enough not to continue to be toyed with. I didn’t kiss you because I was bored. It actually meant something to me, and I’m tired of getting mixed messages from you.”

“You don’t think you’ve been sending me mixed messages?” Ayden’s jaw tensed.

“How?” I asked.

Ayden looked around the bedroom like that alone would alert me to something.

“What?”

“We’re in Utah. You’re going out with him tonight,” he replied.

“All of us flew down here so that I could hash stuff out with him. That’s what I’ve been doing,” I replied.

“That’s not the only reason you came, Lily. And we both know it. So that alone, I’d say was a big red flag for me to step away from you, to stay away from you. But I just can’t keep away from you any longer. I swear to God the only thing that made my brand successful was all the ideas I thought up to launch just so we could work together on campaigns. I’m not going to keep playing games, pretending that you don’t matter to me. You matter and you’re not a regret or a mistake. You are what I need, Lily. What I crave. And this trip has shown me that.”

Ayden pulled me into him, his lips crashing down to mine before I even tried to resist. There was no holding back as his mouth parted with mine, his tongue sweeping through my mouth as I kissed him deeper than on the mountain, deeper than with anyone ever before. Our mouths stayed on one another’s searching for an easy resolution to make this moment last. But we both knew it wouldn’t. It couldn’t. I pulled my fingers though his hair as his lips slowly worked up my cheek toward my ear, sending a shivery sensation clear to my toes.

“Your lips are addicting,” he murmured. “But so is the rest of you.”

I pulled back slowly and looked into his eyes, the intensity in them overwhelming. This entire situation was teetering on devastation as I continued to fall deeper for Ayden Rhodes because I knew by tomorrow he’d be second-guessing every single second of what just happened; like he had done every single time there was an almost or not quite between us. Every time I heard an apology come from his lips, it killed me because I wasn’t
ever
sorry. I didn’t want to hear it again.

I looked up at him and glanced at the clock on the wall.

“I should get ready,” I said softly.

“Don’t. Please, don’t.” Ayden’s blue eyes were so dark, they were almost black as he watched me move away from him. I forced a smile and fought the urge to fall into his arms. I couldn’t afford to go there.

“Alright, whatever,” he said, walking out of the room, not even giving another glance in my direction.

And that was why I couldn’t fall under his spell.

I shut the door behind him and pushed down all of the memories of Ayden and I spending so much time together over the years, and me never once recognizing the signs. We’d spent countless hours working on building his business, and it never occurred to me that he might have been interested. Or maybe he wasn’t. Maybe it was only a recent thing. I’d always been attracted to him, but only recently did the feelings come crashing down anytime he was near me.

I had absolutely no desire to go out tonight, but after chasing Ayden out of the room, I certainly couldn’t call it off now. I quickly put on some foundation and powder. My cheeks would probably stay rosy all night from Ayden, which was just wrong on so many levels. Then again, it sounded like Austin certainly wasn’t missing out between us seeing one another so no biggie there.

I pulled on some black tights and boots and slipped a black sweater dress over my head. Running a brush through my hair, I decided to put my hair back into a ponytail and be done with everything. I turned off the light by my bed and bid adieu to the book I never got to finish as I walked out of my bedroom. Ayden’s door was closed as I walked down the hall. I didn’t see any sign of Sammie. I wondered if she was in there with him.

I put on a jacket and walked outside. The snow was still coming down, and it was hard not to think back to the afternoon on the mountain, and how much fun I’d had with Ayden. How wrong was it of me to be walking to see one guy, and daydreaming about another. But tonight was just a friendly dinner. I was sure of it. Following the lighted path, I found my way inside the warm lodge and looked for Austin in the restaurant. He waved me over and was already seated with a bottle of wine at our table and a starter ready to dig into.

“Hey,” I said, walking over to the table.

He stood up and gave me a big hug. Austin was dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue flannel shirt. He looked really good, relaxed. I guess a good make-out session would do that to a person.

“Those look delicious,” I said, eyeing the beef skewers.

“They are. I thought it’d be nice if you didn’t have to wait.”

“That’s very nice of you. You obviously know me well,” I teased.

“I actually think I do,” he laughed. “You haven’t changed as much as I thought you would’ve after you left.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I guess I thought you left to reinvent yourself or something, but you’re the same old Lily.” His smile was genuine and the compliment was actually really sweet.

“Thanks. So how’d the business meeting go last night?” I asked, unable to resist.

“It went great,” he replied, pouring me a glass of wine.

“That’s good. Was it for the resort or a different venture?” I inquired.

“The resort. I met with a rep for one of our local breweries. They like to go over the seasonal offerings before they’re launched.”

“Makes sense. How’d she get that job? I think working for a brewery would be so awesome.”

“It wasn’t a she. It was a he. His name was Zach.”

“Oh, huh. I just figured. Not sure why I figured, actually.” I glanced at the menu and wondered if Austin was really good at lying, or if Ayden had been mistaken. But like I told Ayden, it didn’t really matter. None of us were in a serious relationship. “I think I’m going to have the roasted chicken.”

“That makes two of us,” he said, placing his menu on mine. “So did you have fun on the mountain today?”

“I did. I had so much fun, especially thanks to your lessons. Ayden was quite impressed.”

Austin’s brow furrowed.

“My best friend’s brother,” I said, wondering why I was assuring him of anything. “Brandy couldn’t go on up on the mountain because she was in a bad motorcycle accident.”

“That’s horrible.”

“It was. It was so scary. There were moments we weren’t sure—” I stopped myself.

Austin nodded. “How’s she doing now?”

“Amazing. You wouldn’t even know she was in a wheelchair, only months ago. But the doctors want her to heal another year before she tries skiing or snowboarding again.”

“Is she as talented as you on the slopes?” he laughed.

“Exactly. She’s just as talented as me so she knew she’d be going down and that wouldn’t be good right now. So anyway, Ayden is Brandy’s brother.”

The server came to take our order and the rest of the dinner flew by. We caught up on old friends, which made us old for doing it, and talked about what he enjoyed about his job and what I loved about mine. Before I knew it, we were outside walking toward my condo, and I got an urge to do another snowball. I had no idea what came over me, but before I knew it, I grabbed a pile of snow and threw it on him, laughing.

“Jesus, what the hell did you do that for?” Austin asked, his eyes flashing with annoyance.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Yeah, seriously,” he said, brushing the ice-crystals off his jacket. “That shit’s cold.”

“I didn’t even get you hard or on flesh,” I teased.

“Is that supposed to make me grateful?” he asked.

Whoa. Which Austin was this, and can I please have the old one back?

My mind flashed to Ayden and I shrugged. “I guess some people would be grateful. Yeah.”

“It’s just really immature,” Austin said, shaking his head.

“Really? It was that bad?” I asked, now standing still, looking at Austin, trying not to laugh.

“I’m not broken, though. I’ll mend,” he laughed, sensing my agitation.

“I would hope so,” I said, biting my lip. “It was a fun night. Hopefully, we can catch up again before I leave.”

“We’re done for the night?” Austin asked.

“Yup. I’m beat. Isn’t it like close to midnight?”

Austin nodded. “Is this because of the snow thing? It wasn’t that big of a deal. I’m just not into surprises.”

I started laughing. “No. It’s not the snow, but I’m exhausted and should probably get back before my friends worry.”

He was clearly not pleased. I wondered what he was expecting for the night? He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, which did nothing for me.

Of course it didn’t.

“I’ll text you tomorrow,” I offered.

“Sounds good,” Austin said and walked back to the lodge slowly.

I stood on the path and looked up at the night’s sky. I hoped with everything in my heart that Ayden would wake up tomorrow and feel the same way he did tonight, but until then I could treasure the memories of the world’s best snowball fight and remember that everything happened for a reason. My hair was beginning to get wet as the snow began to melt so I made my way back to the condo. It was completely dark; the bedroom doors closed.

Our big day on the mountain must have killed us all. I fought back the urge to laugh at the partiers we all turned out to be and threw my jacket on the entry bench. I quietly made my way to the bedroom and flipped on the light, almost screaming at the same time. There was someone in my bed. I slowly walked over and saw Sammie’s head sticking out of the covers and chuckled. She certainly was determined. I grabbed my yogi bear pajamas, turned off the light and slipped out of my bedroom. I changed into my pajamas in the spare bathroom and felt my entire body tense up as I thought about what I was about to do.

I took a deep breath in and walked to Ayden’s door. Opening it slowly, the light from the hall cast enough light to see that he was sleeping. I closed the door quietly and locked it, before walking slowly to where Ayden was lying. He looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake him. Gently pulling back on the comforter, I noticed he was shirtless and the teddy bear was under his head.