Beware That Girl (27 page)

Olivia wanted to slap her. It would feel good to hurt Kate, to hurt someone.

“I told you never to talk about him.” Her voice was flat. It was as if she was trying to remember something. “My house, my rules. If you have a problem with that, leave.” She turned her back on Kate. “You could never understand a man like Mark.”

“You’re wrong, Olivia. I understand Mark plenty,” Kate called out as she was leaving. “And I’ll be right here when you do too.”

Olivia shook as she returned to her closet. She examined dress choices mechanically. The purple cashmere, the fitted Céline, the flowered silk jersey, the blue-and-white Prada—he would approve of them all. Mark would love them all. Yet she didn’t reach for any of them. He had
scarred
her. Minutes slid by. She would be late. And still she didn’t move, didn’t breathe.

Finally, Olivia exhaled into her decision. She reached deep into the back of her closet and retrieved her favorite Rag & Bone jeans and then shrugged into her comfiest cashmere sweater.

“Perfect!” she whispered to the mirror. But she had to hurry or else she’d be late.

Olivia, Bruce and I were snuggled deep into dueling couches, laptops open, books and photocopied papers spread across the stone-and-copper coffee table. Anka came in at half-hour intervals to replenish espressos and admonish us over something or other. Every so often Bruce would rouse himself from my stomach to waddle over and settle himself onto Olivia’s, and then back to me again.

It was like the best of before, but not. We both pretended that I hadn’t seen what I’d seen. We were doing a lot of pretending. And even though that was more or less my normal state of play, I felt myself fraying at the edges. I knew too much, and then not nearly enough. I had to break into Kruger’s file cabinet this week, no matter what. I’d been putting it off, but why? Not like me, really. Maybe I didn’t want to know. God, I was getting squishy.
Stop!
I needed to know what Mark knew. I needed to know it all. Speaking of which…

I Googled risperidone.

What?!

Risperidone is usually used to help treat the symptoms of conditions such as psychosis, schizophrenia, schizophreniform disorder and hypomania. It can also be used to help manage confusion, dementia, behavior problems (e.g., in ADHD) and personality disorders. It may also be used in smaller doses to help treat anxiety, tension and agitation.

Whoa. What a smorgasbord of crazy. I was going to have to look up each one of those things. Is that what Mark had on her? Did he know exactly what it was, the whole story? I switched to a gossip site to collect myself and then glanced at Olivia. She looked content in her sweats, both lapdog and laptop balancing on her outstretched body. She was deep into a long-overdue math assignment. I reached into my pocket and slid out my phone. We still kept up after a fashion.

hey Serena u there?

of course
whats up?

i miss u, u ok?

ya better, outpatient now.

congrats! u rock

not so much

I miss you Kate but better here, even with dear old dad. was drowning there. you know the score.

i hear u. Mark?

yup bad bad scene

can’t u report him?

no way!!!!! Imagine the scandal on top of my family scandal

besides he knew stuff

collects secrets and cuts u with them?

Pure reptile.

for sure so sad for u, sucks big time

shudve known better.

NO! u didn’t stand a chance!

Thanks babe. is he after you?

not bad so far

really? surprised. was all ocd about you

steering clear, but olivia…

i know, how bad?

I looked over. She was happily cursing at her screen. Bruce was snoring.

way bad. cant stop her.

he’s like a drug, gotta find a way

a girl in Melbourne killed herself while he was there.

my cousin was there then

don’t think suicide was a coincidence, seriously.

My mind emptied.

kate you there?

yeah just scared.

you should be, probably not the only one. you sure about you?

yeah, biding his time…i guess.

I swear he likes you best. dangerous Kate, very.

i know.

“Kate O’Brien, are you actually texting? You hate texting. I’m jealous! Who’re you talking to?”

I gtg sweets. later.

np, miss you. stay safe!!!!

Sharing the panic xoxo

Here if you need me xoxo

“Believe me, no one,” I groaned. “Just this mouth-breather from my last school. Never hear from her, and then, presto, she’s coming to New York during spring break with her folks and wants me to show them the sights, be a private tour guide.” It was good to remind myself of just how
good
I was on the fly.

“The nerve! I hope you said absolutely not!”

“I graciously declined, yes.”

“Good! You’ve got to watch that, Kate. You’re the type that dweebs feel they can take advantage of.” She didn’t lift her eyes from her laptop. “You’re always there for people, even when it doesn’t serve you at all. You were all soft on Serena, for instance.”

Then again, it was good to be reminded of just how
good
Olivia was.

“Well, not anymore,” I said, getting up. “I just care about you, me and our son here. I believe it’s my turn to take him for a walk.”

At the word
walk,
Bruce stopped snoring, sprung from Olivia’s stomach, leapt over the coffee table (kicking my laptop closed in the process) and headed straight for the door. When we stopped laughing, Olivia got up too.

“Come on,” she said, swinging her legs to the floor. “I’ll come too. Let’s walk over to the Nespresso on Madison. You hold him and I’ll get us some cappuccinos and those little chocolates.”

Like I said, so like before and yet so not.

Olivia wanted to go home. It was late. She was exhausted. He was not. Kate had written the response to the Hamlet soliloquy for her, but she should at least read it over before she submitted it tomorrow. Shouldn’t she?

So tired.

Mark had just left the room to retrieve more Chablis. Olivia didn’t want any more Chablis. She risked getting up out of bed. He hadn’t ordered her not to move, after all. She caught herself in the mirror and looked away immediately. She ran her hands over her stomach, down her ribs and over her protruding hip bones. He liked to touch her bones and his marks.

He had pronounced her “flawless” not ten minutes ago. Olivia wanted to be flawless for him.

Didn’t she?

She padded naked into the living room. Once she disrobed, Olivia was not allowed to put on any clothes or cover up until it was time to leave. Though shirtless, Mark wore a pair of chinos. He was bent over, absorbed in his phone. Seeing him unaware and unguarded, Olivia was transported back to when she first caught sight of him, and her breath slipped. His tanned upper body was toned and muscular but lean. Blond curls fell over his eyes as he texted. He was an oil painting.