Beware That Girl (12 page)

Everything was better with Kate in her life. Maybe not a “let’s flush the meds down the toilet” better—that had been a disaster—but better. Olivia was scrupulous about the meds, but the price to pay was insufferable flatness. That’s how it was before too, and to be honest,
before
the before. It was like the world was out
there,
but she was covered in a filmy gauze that kept her from touching it. That, or she was too bored to reach out. So Olivia tracked Kate closely. She watched and tried to internalize Kate’s hunger, her ambition, her
need.
She wanted some of that, to experience that. Sometimes when she was with Kate, an actual feeling pierced the gauze, and now since Mark—being near Mark—it was happening even more often. True, Olivia still didn’t often know what she was feeling until after she felt it. But the time delay was improving. The impact-to-absorption ratio was better.

Instead of spending the weekend partying or grinding through material for midterms, Olivia found herself scrolling through sites for dog breeders and pet stores with Kate.

Olivia had never even thought about getting a dog until Kate began hinting for one. A dog would be perfect. Olivia
wanted
a dog. Last year, her father would have bought her a dog, a pony, a unicorn, anything. But she hadn’t known then what she wanted, not really.

She did now.

And she also wanted a dog.

After some pro forma pushback, her father made a few calls from Brazil and came up with three “acceptable” pet stores.

Anka bought into the project heart and soul. It turned out that her family had always had a dog back in Poland. She loved dogs, especially the “too handsome for sure, very big dogs.” The girls showed her how to refine her Google search, and Anka began bookmarking German shepherds, Dobermans, bullmastiffs and boxers. She campaigned hard for a guard dog. “Dey are a really
real
dogs and vould taking care of you ven I am not here. Nobody could kidnapple you vit a big dog.”

“No one is going to kidnap me, Anka.” She kissed the startled housekeeper. “I promise.”

Kate meanwhile had glommed on to the rescue pages. “I know,” she groaned, “too Freudian. But still…look at those faces!”

They were all in the kitchen, and Kate was winning over Anka with the rescue dogs.

“We can’t handle a rescue.” Olivia was adamant. “How am
I
the mature one here? Think, people! How could we possibly cope with a nutbar dog? I don’t want it going to therapy with me. We have to start with a puppy. It has to have a clean slate. That way if it goes weird, it’s on us and it would be
our
kind of weird.”

“No.” Kate shook her head. “We’d blame it on Anka.”

Anka threw a dish towel at her, but reluctantly agreed that they weren’t in a position to take on a rescue.

Olivia campaigned for an adorable dog. A dog that would be impossible not to fall in love with, so then maybe she would. She kept the bookmarks firmly on the “poo” dogs. “Come on! Just look. They’re irresistible!” She kept scrolling through sites for Maltipoos, Shih-poos and Yorkipoos. Anka point-blank refused to look.

“Yeah, cute,” agreed Kate. “But they’re teeny. Hey, I’m all for little, Olivia—we’re in a high-rise in Manhattan, I get that—but those guys all look like something the Kardashians would stuff in their evening bags, you know?”

“Ew.”

“Yeah, ew.”

Olivia sighed. They were getting ready to visit the three pet stores on her father’s shortlist. “Okay, but it has to be super cute.”

“I promise it will be super cute.”

“Get a really real dog!” Anka called after them.

—

The girls walked over to Lexington Avenue arm in arm. When they got to Paws ’R Us, Olivia reminded Kate that they were going to be diligent about this. They would be thorough and dispassionate. They would ask a ton of questions, and most important, they would comparison-shop. “Ready?”

“Ready!”

They both inhaled as they stepped through the tinkling door and were greeted by the undeniable aroma of eau de warm puppy.

“Oh, look!” squealed Kate, racing to a pen full of little critters.

Olivia followed her and did indeed feel something stir as she gazed down at the furry, wriggling mass. Some were sleeping in a ball, wound up in and around each other, but others were playing with shredded newspaper, the wire pen or each other’s tails. One bold little guy, clearly sensing the arrival of blonde destiny, waddled right up to them and got up on his hind legs, tail wagging furiously, before balance got the better of him and he toppled over.

“Look!”

“Oh, my God! Oh, my God!”

Their squealing caught the attention of a generously proportioned man who made his way over to them.

“Can we hold him?” asked Kate.

“That’s what they’re there for, to be cuddled.”

Kate reached in and picked up the bold little puppy. He had big ears that stood at attention and a long tan body with four white socks. She placed him directly into Olivia’s arms. The puppy promptly licked Olivia clean of blush and lip gloss.

“That there’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi,” the waddling man offered. “Fine line. I got the papers.”

“That’s the kind the Queen has, right?” asked Olivia between licks. The royalty thing had an undeniable appeal.

“That’s right.” The man patted the pup’s rump. “His littermates have all gone. This little guy’s the runt. People can be funny about that, but he’s great stock.”

Kate looked pleadingly at Olivia. “So he’s like a rescue!”

On cue, the rescue runt nuzzled into Olivia’s neck, sighed and promptly fell asleep.

So much for careful consideration, investigation and comparison-shopping. Olivia bought him on the spot, as well as all the paraphernalia. They named him Bruce on the cab ride home. Bruce, exultant with relief, tripped over himself going from lap to lap and lick to lick the whole way home. Olivia couldn’t stop giggling. She
was
giggling.

Proof positive. Everything in her life, about her life, was better because Kate was in it.

There was something different about my counselor, but I couldn’t land on what. It was distracting. Over the past few months, I’d come to have a grudging respect for Kruger. Was she happy? Happier? Why would that be a bad thing? I had to focus, stay on top of this. I had to bring my A game to sessions, no matter how feeble the therapist or shrink, and Kruger was anything but feeble.

“So how’s it going at the new address?” she asked.

She had the red file folder open, my folder. Sometimes she brought it out, sometimes not. Either way, Kruger would record session notes on paper and stick them back in the file. My secrets, and more important, Olivia’s, were locked in that oak file cabinet. Old school but effective.

“Terrific, no hiccups,” I said. “It’s crazy how well it’s working out.”

Kruger smiled. “I’m glad. We all are, Kate. Nonetheless, we
should
have done an exit interview with your aunt.”

“Well, sure, maybe. But remember, she isn’t my guardian. My aunt was just an address, and barely that.” I was pricked by the memory of Mrs. Chen shoving the massive container of pork into my arms. “Actually, she was relieved to see the back of me.” While this was true for the imaginary aunt, I was no longer sure that it was true for Mrs. Chen.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Water under the bridge.” I shrugged. “Hey, I’m, like, a minute from the school, I adore Olivia, and you should just see where we live.”

Kruger nodded at the file. “You’ll be good for each other.” She turned to her computer. “Your GPA is still stratospheric, and Olivia’s marks, as I’m sure you know, are rising. Mark—Mr. Redkin—tells me that the Waverly Wonders are a real going concern. Your applications are strong.” At this, she took off her glasses and smiled at me. “It looks solid. I’m very pleased.”

“Well, I aim to please.”

“Yes, yes, you do,” she said. “And it’s a quality that’s been highly effective.”

Huh?

I let that go and regrouped. “And to top it all off, we got a dog! Well, a puppy. A corgi, just like the Queen’s got. Anka and I feed him and walk him, and we’re trying to train him not to pee on the marble floors, though Olivia helps out with that part.”

“That’s a lot of responsibility.”

“A day has to have bones, you know?”

“Bones?”

“I need a lot of bones.” I crossed and recrossed my legs. Why did I start in on that? “Structure, responsibility. Stuff, you know, or I, uh…”

“Have too much time to think?”

Stay alert here, Katie girl. She’s smart.
“Bruce—that’s our puppy—he helps give the days more structure. I love him to pieces.” And I did, even though I fretted that Bruce seemed to love Olivia at least as much as he did me. He was an equal opportunity lap-sitter and face-licker. It was a kick to see Olivia so happy with him, but still, he should love me more.

I’d taken to getting up in the night to feed him secret treats.

Kruger was busy noting it all down and smiling as she did so. She was definitely smiling a lot. “And Mr. Sumner?”

“He’s cool, and apparently relieved big-time. He’s gone, like, most of the time, and that’s the way it’s going to play for most of the school year, you know?”

She put down her pen. “I’ve scheduled a short meeting with Mr. Sumner when he’s next in the city. I want to tell him how proud the school is of you—about your character—to reassure him about this decision.” She looked up, anticipating my pleasure.

I stopped breathing.

“I understand that you’re having a strategy meeting with Mar…er, Mr. Redkin to review student funding participation and the photo shoot for the Christmas mail-out.” She waited for an appropriately Kate-like response.

It felt like my head was filling with sand.

“Kate?”

“Yeah. I mean, yeah, a Wonder meeting. Looking forward to it.”
Get a grip, get a grip.
I couldn’t. “Look, Dr. Kruger, the, uh…well, you know how critical that, uh…”

Concern displaced the good-natured smile.

“No one can know, all right? No one! I mean, yeah, we’ve talked about this, and you said…but still, like, I…it freaks me out that…” My mouth dried up. “No one can
ever
know. My parents…it would ruin me totally. Destroy everything, like all the other times. I mean, the point of the whole name thing and…”

“Kate”—the smile returned—“I’m aware of that more than anyone. I fully concurred with the process.” She shut the file folder. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I will say it as often as you need me to say it.” Dr. Kruger got up, took the folder, placed it into the file cabinet and locked it. “It’s privileged.” She stood by the cabinet.

My heart was still pounding in my head.

“Only me and Ms. Goodlace—absolutely no teachers, no staff and certainly not anyone’s father. I promise, Kate. Feel better?”

I got up as well. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

“Okay, then. Same time next month for assessment, but I expect to see you in here a lot for your exit thesis topic.” Kruger walked around her desk. Before she opened the door, she leaned over. “You can bank on it, Kate, a hundred percent. Trust me.”

I nodded and rewarded her with my most winning smile.

I trust no one.

The city had been bleached by an early winter. Bare branches scraped against an ash-gray sky. The muted browns and muddied grays of November comforted Olivia. The winter soot of New York mirrored her soul. She knew it shouldn’t be so, wished it wasn’t. Normal people—people who were not…
dulled
in some way—loved the other seasons. But spring, fall and summer with their garish, show-offy colors seemed to mock her.

Olivia knew where she stood with November.

She and Bruce padded away from the window. She had to get ready. Kate and Olivia had agreed to meet the rest of the Wonders for dinner at the Tent, one of the dozens of restaurants and clubs owned by Serena’s father. Olivia would rather have stayed home with Kate and Bruce, but Kate insisted, and Kate was good for her. Besides, she’d find a way to tell Mark all about the dinner when she saw him at school. She’d work it and make it amusing. Mark. He had invaded her dreams, her thoughts. He did things in the dreams, ignited her. As Olivia got ready, she pretended she was preparing for him.