Between The Sheets (32 page)

'And you didn't keep in touch?'

Ed shook his head. 'I was afraid to. I thought it would just make things worse for Mum and Dana and as I wasn't there to protect them, I couldn't take that chance. But I kept in touch with an old school friend, Keith. He kept an eye on them for me.'

Gus nodded. 'So Keith told you about Dana's abortion?'

'No, he didn't know anything about that, no one did. He just said that Dana had left home and was finishing her secondary education in a boarding school. I just assumed that she had also had enough and left of her own free will.' He looked up at Gus, his eyes full of pain. 'I should have come back then, shouldn't I? I should have checked that everything was okay. Hell, I could have even found out where she was and written to her. Dad wouldn't have known.'

'Don't torture yourself.' Gus reached for the whiskey and soda, and silently topped up Ed's glass and then his own. He walked to the window and stared up at Dana's room. 'Go on.'

'That's about it, really,' Ed said. 'The next time I saw my father and Dana was when Mum died.'

'When was this?'

Ed frowned as he tried to remember. 'When I was about twenty-three, I think.'

'How did she die?'

'She fell down the stairs.'

Gus swung around. 'Fell?'

Ed nodded. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. She was quite sick, you see. She was on a lot of medication and sometimes she lost her balance. It was a straightforward, horrible accident.'

'How do you know that?' Gus asked. 'You hadn't seen her in years.'

'Keith had told me she wasn't well.'

Gus watched him, his eyes curious. 'Yet you still didn't go back.'

Ed looked down. 'No. No, I didn't. And I regret it, believe me.'

'I wonder whether Dana feels the same way. She left too, after all.'

'I've no idea.'

Gus sighed. 'What a mess. How come you've got through this unscathed and she's so scarred, though?'

'Oh, don't be fooled.' Ed laughed softly. 'I've had my moments too. It took me a long time to find peace. I did all the usual things first. I drank and I experimented with drugs. It was many years before I found peace. You asked me if it was your fault that Dana fell apart and I said yes and no. That's because I'm equally responsible. When she came back for Mum's funeral, it was to find that Father and I had reconciled. That completely threw her. She hardly talked to me through the funeral. She wouldn't even look at Father. Then, at some point during the reception, I noticed she was missing. When I went in search of her, Judy told me she'd gone back to Dublin.'

'You could have gone after her,' Gus remarked, his voice sharp.

'I could have. I should have. But, like I said, I was a bit of a mess myself.'

Gus was silent for a moment and then he came back to sit opposite Ed. 'Didn't you ever wonder if your father had something to do with your mother's death? Who knows what he was capable of by then? He'd lost his princess, remember? Maybe he blamed your mother for that.'

Ed shook his head. 'He didn't do it.'

'How can you be so sure? Ed, you have to face the fact that this is a real possibility—'

'Stop!' Ed rubbed his eyes and then looked straight at Gus. 'I know exactly what happened, Gus. I was there.'

'You've got to tell her,' Gus said again, kneading the ache in the back of his neck. Dawn was breaking and there was a light frost on the grass. The empty whiskey bottle rolled on the floor between them and Gus felt cold and tired.

Ed shook his head. 'I can't. I've finally got her back in my life and I won't lose her again. Besides, she needs me.'

'You can't build your future relationship on yet more lies, Ed, you must see that.'

'If she knew the truth, she'd never forgive me.'

'Have some faith in her. She's wise and kind and generous—'

'If she's so great then why did you walk out on her?' Ed snapped.

'Because when I found out how much of her life she had concealed from me, I didn't believe she could possibly trust, never mind love me.'

'It was just her way of trying to deal with things. She closed the door on her past and started again. It was nothing to do with you really.'

Gus nodded. 'I realize that now.'

'It's not too late, you know.' Ed smiled at him. 'Come on, I need to get some coffee before my head explodes.'

'What if Dana's up?'

'She won't surface before ten, especially now she's writing so late at night.'

'What's she working on?'

'Ah, well, that's a whole different story,' Ed said with a wide yawn. 'I'll tell you some of it, but not until I get a dose of caffeine.'

When they were sitting at the kitchen table, a pot of coffee between them, Ed told Gus about the new book that his sister was writing. 'It really brings home to me how much I underestimated her understanding of what was going on in that house. The poor kid must have been miserable.'

'She'll kill you when she realises you've read it,' Gus retorted.

'I don't care. I had to find some way to figure out what was going on in her head. I'm going to read all of it — well, as much as she's written — and then I'm going to sit down with her and talk about it all.'

Gus raised an eyebrow. 'Will you tell her every-thing?'

Ed sighed. 'I can't—'

'You can and you should. It will be okay, Ed,' Gus said gently.

'I wish I could believe that.'

Gus glanced at his watch, and quickly stood up. 'I'd better get out of here before she wakes up.' He shrugged into his jacket. 'Lord, I would kill for some sleep, but I need to shower and change and get into the office for a meeting. Tom is still on leave.' He held his hand out to his brother-in-law. 'Thanks for talking to me and for being so candid; it can't have been easy.'

Ed waved away his empathy. 'Please, at this stage I've had so much therapy I'd tell my life story to the postman.'

Gus eyed him speculatively. 'Now that I don't believe. Keep in touch, yeah?'

Ed nodded. 'I will.'

Ed tidied up, went to shower and change and was snoozing in the conservator,' when the buzzer on the gate went. After the hysterical phone call Gus had received last night, Ed half expected it to be Walter Grimes, the agent he had heard so much about. With a wide yawn, he went out to the hall and pressed the buzzer. 'Hello?'

'Hi. Who's that?' a female voice asked.

He smiled as he recognized the accent. 'Who's asking?'

'Ed?'

'Hello, Judy. Come on in.' He pressed the button to open the gate and then went to the front door to greet her.

'It's so good to see you again, Judy.' He kissed her cheek.

She smiled. 'Hello, Ed, you look wonderful. If I wasn't an old married woman with two kids—'

'You're younger than me,' he said, and laughed. 'And you look stunning. Now come in and have a cup of coffee and tell me how you've been. I hope you have photos of the family.'

'I'm a mother,' she reminded him. 'I always carry photographs. Where's Dana?'

'Still asleep. She was working late last night. Let's leave her for a bit while you and I catch up.'

Judy, initially cagey, opened up once Ed made it clear that he was here to help Dana. She told him how they had drifted apart over the years, but that when Gus left it had brought them closer again. 'I suppose I was the only one she could really talk to.'

Ed winced.

She touched his hand. 'I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. You're here now and that's what matters.'

'I'm not sure Dana would agree,' he said, thinking about the manuscript he'd pored over the previous evening.

'Don't be fooled. She acts tough but she's still a

softy behind it all,' Judy said affectionately. 'Tell me something, why did Gus ask you to come?'

'He was worried.'

Judy shook her head irritably. 'Then why didn't he just come back? Why the hell did he leave in the first place?'

Ed gazed back at her. 'He had his reasons.'

Judy's eyes narrowed. 'So are you saying Dana did something to make him leave?'

Ed held up his hands. 'I'm not saying anything at all, Judy. It's between the two of them.'

Judy sighed. 'It's strange, I only met the man a couple of times but I thought they made a lovely couple. What do you think of Gus?'

'I like him,' Ed admitted.

She sighed. 'I wish there was something we could do to help. I thought it would be good for her to get away for a while. I even asked her to come back to Wexford — just for a visit. She was horrified. It's almost as if she's afraid to come back.'

'So Mother's funeral was the last time, the only time, she returned?' Ed asked.

Judy nodded. 'And that was a disaster.'

'Did she talk to you about it?'

Judy stared down into her coffee. 'She came down the day of the removal. But she went to the funeral home early because she wanted to spend some time alone with your mum. When she came back, she was in a terrible state. She'd seen you and your father together and it seemed to send her completely over the edge. She wanted to go straight back to Dublin but I persuaded her to stay. I knew that if she didn't attend the funeral she'd regret it for the rest of her life.'

'Thank you for that/ Ed said quietly.

Judy looked at him. 'Can I ask you something?'

He nodded silently but smiled his encouragement. She had a right to ask questions; Judy was practically the only family Dana had had for the last twenty years.

'Why did you forgive him?'

Ed couldn't look at her. 'I had no choice, Judy.'

'You should have followed her to Dublin,' she persisted. 'You should have explained.'

'I know.'

It's all such a mess. You were both hurting and you could have helped each other. Instead you've spent all of these years apart.'

'Oh, Judy. If I could go back and change things I would. I know now how much I hurt her. I'll never forgive myself for that.' He buried his face in his hands. Poor Judy probably thought he'd completely lost it. But after reading Dana's account of events, spending the night talking to Gus and now being faced with Judy's reproach, he was an emotional mess. He felt an arm creep around his shoulders and, leaning his head against her, he cried. He had only just pulled away, and was drying his tears with some kitchen towel, when Dana walked in.

'Judy!' Dana was so happy to see her friend that she didn't notice her brother turn away and use the moment to pull himself together. As she greeted her friend, Ed took down a mug and poured her some coffee.

'Why didn't you wake me and let me know that Judy was here?' she said as he set the mug down in front of her.

'Sorry, we were catching up.'

'My fault,' Judy jumped in. 'I've been quizzing him about what he's been up to all these years and how he's managed to stay single.'

He shot her a grateful smile. 'Love 'em and leave 'em, that's my motto,' he quipped.

'How true,' Dana mumbled.

Ed's smile faded. 'Can you stay the night, Judy? Shall I make up a bed?'

Dana's eyes lit up. 'Oh, yes, please stay, Judy. We could even go out.'

Judy raised an eyebrow. 'I didn't think you'd be able to spare me any time. Not now Ryan's on the scene.'

Dana grinned. 'He's away on business so you have me all to yourself.'

'Then I'd love to stay,' Judy announced. 'Phil is taking the girls to visit their granny for the weekend, so I am blissfully free until Sunday evening. You know, leaving him to cope alone every so often has had quite a positive effect on him. I actually think he's beginning to appreciate how hard it is looking after the girls full-time.'

Dana laughed. 'Good. Then you must come up more often. Ed will be delighted. He can take some time off from playing nursemaid. Apparently I'm not a good patient.'

'The worst,' he confirmed. 'But if you think you can put up with her for a couple of days, Judy, I would love to get some work done.'

'Looking after this one will be a walk in the park after my two, I assure you. What are you working on?' Judy asked Ed.

'I'm putting together a nature calendar at the moment. It's to be a very stormy weekend so I'd like to get some grey sea scenes if I can.'

'Sitting on a pier in the cold and wet — sounds great.' Judy shuddered.

He laughed. 'I'll leave you two to talk. Great to see you again, Judy.'

'And you, Ed.'

'You two looked very cosy,' Dana remarked.

Judy just gave a casual shrug. 'He's nice. He certainly seems to be looking after you very well, and look at this place.' She waved an arm around her. 'It's gleaming.'

'He has been good to me,' Dana admitted grudgingly, 'except for when he opens his mouth.'

'What do you mean?'

'Oh, he's always asking questions; he wants to know all about Gus and why we broke up — it does my head in.'

'It's only natural he'd want to hear all about you,' Judy reasoned. 'You're his only sister.'

'So? We haven't had a proper conversation in nearly twenty years; he might as well be a stranger.'

'But you can put that right now.' Judy leaned forward and took her hand. 'This is your chance to get your brother back.'

'We'll see.'

Judy, knowing it was time to back off, changed the subject. 'Anyway, forget about Ed for the moment. Tell me, how are things going with your new boyfriend?'

Dana visibly relaxed. 'I'll fill you in on Ryan, if you wash and blow-dry my hair,' she bargained.

Judy smiled. 'Done.'

'And then we could go shopping,' Dana continued. 'There's this fabulous new shopping centre just minutes away. And after that we could have a nice long, lazy lunch.'

'Sounds great,' Judy said, pleased to hear her friend so enthusiastic.

'I'm so glad you're here.' Dana leaned across to give her friend a clumsy hug. 'I didn't think you'd be able to come up again for ages.'

'You've given me a taste of the good life, now. I can't stay away!'

'So when is Ryan back?' Judy asked as she combed conditioner through Dana's wet hair.

'Sometime early next week.'

'You don't sound too excited.'

'I am,' Dana protested. 'I'm just distracted.'

'By?'