Between Darkness and Daylight (42 page)

"You know it's not an exact science, baby…"

She could just hear her mother's rationalizations now.
This
was what she'd always found so frustrating about spiritualism. There was no rhyme or reason, things didn't follow any of the universal rules she was acquainted with. Things just
happened
.

Oh, her mother would certainly dispute her on that last one.

Everything happened for a reason; the reasons just weren't always readily accessible. But for a person like Nova, who dealt in cold hard logic and facts, her mother's explanations were a little less than satisfactory.

When she got right down to the nitty-gritty, though, she could have avoided all this unpleasantness, had she been honest with Zane from the beginning. She had no one but herself to blame for the shambles the evening had turned into.

"So, that was my competition?"

She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the bottom of her shirt as she stared at Matt. "There's no competition, Matt."

"You mean you've already made a choice and I've lost?"

He said it as if the choice was hers to make, but Nova doubted that it ever had been.

"When you came out here, I was under the impression it was to find answers, to put an end to your visions."

"That was the plan."

"When did the plan change?"

He was staring at her throat and Nova felt color heating her cheeks when she realized he'd spotted the hickey that Zane had put on her last night. For Pete's sake, this was a mess! She should have leveled with Matt 294

Gracie C. McKeever

as soon as she knew how she felt about Zane, should have made a firm and clean break. Instead, she'd let him cling to the idea that they were still a couple, that there was still hope for them.

"Matt, the plan didn't exactly change. Things just…happened."

"I'm surprised at you, Nove. You don't usually let things 'just happen.'"

No, she didn't used to. Where
had
her get-up-and-do gone? The old Nova would never have let things like what just happened
happen
. She would have done something to ensure that such a
faux pas
wouldn't occur, like preventive maintenance. She hadn't been maintaining much of anything lately—not her sanity, not her self-control, not the common sense that God had given her, and certainly not her relationships. Instead, she'd just let everything go to the dogs.

"So was that him? The one from your visions?"

Did she sense sarcasm? And could she really blame him? "Yes, that was him."

"Hmmm." He nodded thoughtfully. "Looked pretty safe and sound to me. I suppose he has you to thank for that?"

"I'd like to think so," she snapped.

How was she able to be so straightforward and cool with Matt, when with Zane, she was retiring, soft as mush? She hadn't had a problem leaving Matt, telling him how and why she needed to go. But Zane…he was her weakness, her Kryptonite. She couldn't bear thinking a harsh thought or saying a harsh word about him or getting on his wrong side.

She couldn't stand displeasing him, hated disappointing him. And yet she'd done both of these, big time, by not leveling with him.

Matt stood and clapped, smiling at her.

Nova stood too, hands on her hips as she confronted him. "All right, you've had your fun, Matthew. Go ahead, get it out of your system."

"What fun? I'm applauding your backbone. That's the Nova Foxx I know and love. Take-no-prisoners smart mouth. I was wondering where she'd gone."

"You're not helping," she mumbled, trying to hide her smile of pleasure. "Love?" Why was she teasing him? Hadn't they both been punished enough by her folly?

Matt came close, cupping her face with both hands and drawing her near for a tender kiss. "I'll always love you, even if I can't have you."

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"Matt—"

"It's okay, Nova. I understand."

"Really?" She smirked.

He shrugged. "Hey, I had to give it one more shot. Wouldn't have been me if I didn't at least try again."

"That, and you refuse to believe you're not irresistible."

"Damn straight."

She smiled, for the first time in ages it seemed, and was rewarded with a dazzling display of pearly whites from Matt that made her laugh out loud.

God, he was a handsome man and had always had the ability to bring out the silly in her. She'd almost forgotten how much fun Matt could be, how different she'd thought him when they first met at a yoga class almost seven years ago. His being one of only four men in a class of thirty-five women hadn't initially impressed her because she'd figured most men went to these sorts of classes as just another avenue to meet and hit on women, especially scantily clad women. She'd put Matt into the same category, like a frat boy who took women's courses at college as a way to get closer to the opposite sex.

But he'd proved her wrong from the very beginning, naturally in touch with his feminine side and secure enough in his masculinity not to worry about showing it. He was a pleasant balance of macho and sensitivity, a man who didn't let his little head do all his thinking and who wasn't on the lookout for his next conquest.

Nova had always liked Matt's sincerity and thought him perfect for any woman who wanted a committed and settled-down relationship. She'd thought him perfect for her until a year ago, until she'd discovered one very important little detail.

Your heart doesn't belong to him.

If she hadn't known better, she would have sworn her mother was in her house, refereeing the entire scene.

Matt reached for the box he'd put on the occasional table in the foyer, presenting it to Nova with a flourish. "I bought these for you."

"You shouldn't have. Really."

He chuckled. "I know. I made a big mistake."

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Gracie C. McKeever

A big and
expensive
mistake, she thought. He'd flown out, probably first class, since Matt didn't know how to fly any other way. Never mind the roses in winter.

"I never meant to hurt you, Matt." God, she had been saying that a lot lately, hadn't she?

"I know you didn't."

"I did come out here for just the reason I told you. But like I said, things just—"

"Happened. I know." He pushed a lock of hair that had escaped her band away from her face and stared at her. "It's not your fault. No one told me to come out."

Nova wondered about that, but said nothing.

"Is he…psychic, like you are?" Matt asked, disconcerting Nova with the question, though she'd wondered about the possibility often enough.

How could she not, when she'd shared such an unprecedented bond with Zane from the beginning, a bond that had nothing to do with the dynamite sex they had?

She finally just shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"He knows all about the psychic stuff?"

She wished she could take credit and say she'd told Zane straight out about herself instead of him having to stumble onto the information. All she could do was nod.

Matt grinned. "Then he's special. He'd have to be to care about you the way he does."

"And where are you getting your information?"

"I saw it in his eyes when he opened the door."

"You did?"

He nodded. "I think I knew then I didn't have a chance. I almost turned around."

"I almost wish you had." Nova laughed.

"Almost? You mean you forgive me?"

"Let's not go that far."

Matt chuckled, then turned serious. "Do yourself a favor?"

"Yes?"

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"Level with him from here on out. About the psychic stuff, about anything else you weren't able to tell him before today. He deserves to know what he's getting into, or what he's going to be giving up."

She nodded, sliding her arms around his waist, pulling him close, and resting a cheek on his chest. She appreciated that he even cared enough to tell her. "You're a good man, Matt."

"I know I am. But just not the one for you."

She grinned, feeling very lucky. And though she believed his story about why he'd come to New York, she had a feeling a little birdie was partly behind Matt's impulsive decision to pop up on her. She had every intention of catching up with a certain little Texas singing canary the first chance she got.

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Gracie C. McKeever

Chapter 27

"You did it, didn't you?"

"Nova?"

"You know damn well it's me and you know why I'm calling."

"To wish me a Merry Christmas?"

"Dammit, KD, how could you do this to me?"

"Honestly honey, I don't know what you're talking about."

The first fingers of doubt crept up Nova's throat, cutting off her air supply. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts and recapture the reasons for her call, the emotions that had led her to dial Kaylee's number and start flinging accusations.

Anger. Hold onto the anger. She had to, needed to blame someone else, anyone else, for the state that her life was in. Blaming herself was too logical, too smart, and she hadn't done anything logical or smart since she'd come to New York. In fact, she seemed to have abdicated all reason after she met Zane and Ransom.

What had happened to her?

"Nova, if you calm down some, we can discuss whatever's bothering you, and I'm sure we'll make it all right again."

God, what was she doing, attacking one of the best and only friends she'd ever had? It wasn't Kaylee's fault about Matt, especially since Nova hadn't bothered to keep her friend abreast of what was going on with her in New York. As with Zane, and to a lesser degree, her mother, she should have said something, communicated better. She just hoped she hadn't irreparably injured her relationship with Kaylee the way she'd ruined it with Zane.

"Nova honey, are you okay?"

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Kaylee's mild southwestern twang did more to soothe her nerves than anything else, was just the dose of home she needed to bring her back down to earth.

"I am now."

"What happened up north that's got you mad as a stepped-on rattlesnake?'

Nova chuckled, relief flooding her. She hadn't ruined another relationship. Not yet.

"Well, where do you want me to start? From the beginning, where I should have leveled with you about what's been happening with me?"

"Beginning's always good, Yankee."

"I found him."

"Mr. Mysterious Stranger from your visions!"

She nodded as if Kaylee could see her, and finally said, "Yep, a couple of months ago."

In typical irrepressible Kaylee Dakota fashion, she asked, "What's he look like?"

Nova laughed, crying inside as she pictured the masculine beauty of Zane's face. Chiseled jaws, high cheeks, and the curly long lashes framing his amber eyes all melded before her mind's vision, filling her chest with painful nostalgia. "He's gorgeous," she murmured.

"Well? Don't stop there. Fill me in on all the juicy details."

"Gory's more like it."

"It can't be all that bad."

"Matt came up."

Kaylee gasped. "No!"

Nova heard the genuine shock in her friend's voice and knew that Kaylee really hadn't had anything to do with Matt's sudden appearance at her doorstep.

"Tarnation, no wonder you called me all fired up."

"Yeah, but I only have myself to blame. I shouldn't have yelled at
you.
"

"Hey, if it helps…"

She grinned, seeing her friend shrugging in that nonchalant way of hers.

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Gracie C. McKeever

Laid-back California really did suit Kaylee's southwestern

sensibilities, but Nova didn't think the girl would survive one winter in New York. Katie Lee Dakota was made from tough farmers' stock, but Nova figured that at the first sign of snow, or maybe even after a ride on mass transit during rush hour, she'd be hightailing it back southwest.

She hadn't realized until just now how lucky she was with the friends she'd garnered over the years. She didn't have many, but their quality made up for the lack of quantity.

"Where's Matt now?"

"Probably on his way back to the airport. Stopped by just long enough to ruin my life then breezed out."

"Stop that. I'm
sure
it's not that bad," Kaylee assured.

"What am I going to do, K?"

"Well, where do we stand? You say Matt turned up. What sort of compromising situation did he find you and Mysterious Stranger in?"

"Nothing compromising about it. We had on clothes and all—"

"I should hope so."

Nova giggled. "What I mean is, we were—"
Expecting a serial killer?

She sobered instantly. Maybe she'd better skip that part. "—kind of arguing when we went to answer the door."

"Uh-huh."

"Then Zane—"

"Is that his name? Zane?"

"Zane Youngblood."

"Ooh, I like him already. There's just something so earthy and rich about his handle, and he sounds like my kinda guy."

"Will you cut it out and be serious."

"Nove, you know that word is not in my vocabulary."

That wasn't exactly true. Kaylee could get downright heavy where fitness and astrology were concerned. She read her horoscope as religiously as she worked out and trained, and could quote the best and worst qualities of all the signs and all the male and female traits.

"So, seriously, what happened?"

"Matt swooped in with a box of fresh roses, laying claim to his

'fiancé'."

"Oh goodness. I'm sure Mr. Youngblood didn't take too kindly to that."

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"What man worth his macho mentality would?"

"They didn't come to blows or anything like that, did they?"

"No. Actually, they were pretty civilized, but it was still ugly."

"Where's Mr. Youngblood now?"

"He stormed out of here, practically dragging his nephew by the ear."

"There's a child involved?"

Nova had really neglected keeping her friend abreast of matters, and hadn't realize just how much until now. "Actually, that's how we met. It's a long story."