Between Darkness and Daylight (40 page)

Anything to get him in her company.

The shopping he'd wanted to do today had been to search for a present for Nova, and he'd needed his uncle's opinion on what best suited a woman like her. He might not have bothered asking him to come along otherwise.

But then he wouldn't have seen his father and wouldn't have known about the meeting. And if he hadn't known about the meeting, he wouldn't have this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach about how his father had died and at whose hands.

So many buts and ifs. Ransom wondered if he'd have been better off in the dark.

He wondered, too, why Nova had shown up today. Had she had one of her visions and come to warn Uncle Zane of the danger?

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Whatever the reason, he was just glad she had shown up. He'd missed her, hadn't known how much until he saw her running down the hall behind his uncle towards the back exit.

Uncle Zane had spotted him running after Nova and stopped to block his view of what was outside. He’d told him to wait in his office, and for once, Ransom hadn't argued.

* * * *

Ransom drifted down the hallway from the bathroom, towards the smell of good home cooking, the smell of Nova in the kitchen. He paused on the threshold and squinted at the pair of them sitting in one chair—

Nova on Uncle Zane's lap, feeding him eggs with a fork.

It was as if she'd never left, as if they hadn't been apart for the last couple of weeks. He liked that they were able to pick up where they'd left off, but something about the scene seemed strange, like something was missing. Fanfare maybe, some sort of excitement to herald the conquering queen's return.

"Why don't you guys get a room?" He crossed the floor to the fridge, taking great pleasure in watching the pair of them blush. Nova almost scrambled off of Uncle Zane's lap as the two of them giggled like two teenagers caught in the act.

"We have a room. We're just not in it at the moment." She grinned as she combed a hand through Uncle Zane's hair and leaned in for a kiss before excusing herself with a "Be right back." Then she headed off towards the bedroom.

Ransom warily took the seat across from his uncle, eyeing the platter of hot, fragrant food—breakfast sausages, cheese omelets and from-scratch French toast—his mouth watering before he saw Uncle Zane looking his way.

"Have some?"

"Can I?"

"There's more than enough, Ran. Of course."

He didn't waste time, but piled the plate in front of him and dug in right away. He hadn't known he was so hungry before now.

"Still want to go shopping? We can go later this morning."

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"I'd like to." Ransom wanted to save the guy embarrassment—wanted to save both of them from the awkwardness of the moment—but didn't know what to say to ease the tension that was so heavy in the air. "Is she here to stay?" he blurted.

Uncle Zane watched him, an unfathomable look in his eyes that had Ransom fidgeting in his chair. "I don't know. It's up to her."

"Is it?"

"Ransom, I'm not going to lie to you, okay. We're together now. I can't give you guarantees for the future. I can't give anyone that."

"I told you, I don't want any."

"Well, you're better than me."

No, Ransom thought, he wasn't. He'd settle for just being as good as, but was afraid that he'd never grow into the man his uncle wanted him to be. He just knew he didn't want to be like the man who'd visited and been killed at his school yesterday. "I understand what happened between you two yesterday."

Zane frowned, shaking his head. "You're a step ahead of me then."

"I don't blame you."

"Ran, you don't think—"

"I don't think anything."

"I hope you know I'd never…I didn't hurt your father."

"I know," Ransom whispered, glancing up to meet his uncle's eyes. "I know you'd never do anything like that."

"I won't lie and tell you I wasn't angry."

"I know that too."

"I almost wish I could tell you I had done it, if only to erase the doubt, to give you closure."

Ransom shook his head. "That wouldn't give me closure. That would only take away the only father I've ever known. That's not what I want."

"That means a lot to me, Ransom. You don't know how much."

No, but he had an idea and didn't like mistrusting his uncle anymore than his uncle liked being mistrusted.

He stood, taking one more bite of egg and French toast before wiping his mouth. "I'd better go get dressed and ready.”

Zane caught him by an arm as he tried to pass and Ransom's heart caught at the moisture gleaming in his uncle's eyes. He swallowed hard, 280

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fighting down the overwhelming emotion, denying his need to crawl into the man's arms and cry like a baby needing protection and reassurances.

He tried to pull away, but Uncle Zane tightened his hold and stood to pull him into a hard hug. "Thanks for believing me."

Ransom nodded, returning his uncle's embrace. It was the least he could do.

He realized that he really did believe his uncle, knew in his heart that the man would never have done anything to hurt his father, would never do anything to hurt him.

That left two big glaring questions hanging over his head, questions he wasn't so sure he wanted or needed the answers to: Who killed his father…and why?

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Chapter 25

Zane couldn't remember the last time he'd seen a White Christmas in the city, and hadn't believed he'd have a chance to enjoy one this year, not until Nova called last night brimming with childlike excitement over the coming event.

He'd scoffed at the idea. "You actually believe the weathermen?"

"Positive thinking."

"Depends on how you look at it."

"Don't tell me you're one of those bah-humbug grinches who doesn't like snow!"

"Guilty."

She'd invited him and Ransom up for Christmas dinner, saying she needed someone to help her and Yo-Yo finish all the food she'd started cooking for the holiday—turkey with all the trimmings. "And we have presents to exchange."

Her tone was so cheerful and assured, he couldn't refuse, not that Ransom would have allowed him to. And then she claimed to have never celebrated a White Christmas before.

"You're kidding? With all the places you've lived?"

"I kid you not. No White Christmas for this military brat and world traveler."

"You've been deprived."

"More than you know."

When he didn't respond right away, Nova added, "So you and Ransom have to come out and teach me how to put these sleds to good use."

"Sleds?"

"Two with your names on 'em."

He chuckled, falling for her all over again.

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Her voice dropped a couple of decibels and went into sexy seductress mode to deliver her clincher, as if he weren't already lost under her spell.

"I've got awesome hills."

His drawled response cast its own spell. "So I've noticed."

* * * *

Christmas day had barely dawned and already Zane was feeling like it wasn't going to be a very happy holiday. During the entire ride up on the train last evening, he had felt disconnected, like he was sleepwalking or watching from outside his body as his life unfolded. Cocooned in his own private world of reflection, he was barely aware of Ransom's presence and that of the other passengers on the train.

He wasn't in control of his actions, had no will of his own, was just going along with Ransom and Nova's wishes. He didn't know where he'd have wound up, had Ransom not been there to make sure he got off the train and lead him outside to Nova's SUV.

He'd been feeling like this a lot lately, directionless, with no focus, like his life no longer belonged to him. It felt like no matter what he said or did, he couldn't alter the course that destiny had mapped out for him.

Before, he'd had his job and kids to look forward to, could escape in the difficult duty of trying to solve others' problems and immerse himself in their struggles. But now he didn't have even that outlet. Some vengeful stalker, set on turning his life inside out and upside down, had taken away the joy he'd once found in the job, taken away his need to be needed, and replaced it with dismay and doubt.

How could he be clear-headed and strong for Ransom when the boy needed him most when he was no longer clear-headed and strong for himself?

Zane stared out the window now, entranced by the steady snowfall, the thick blanket of white covering the quiet sidewalks and streets. He sipped hot chocolate from his cup and sighed. This moment, made for a couple, was too idyllic not to share with someone he cared about. But even though he was at Nova's, had slept in her bed and made hot, tender love with her, he felt separate. Separate and alone, as if he didn't belong in her party.

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He needed to get over this paranoia where his feelings for her were concerned; she'd done nothing but prove herself, her affection and intent, over and over again

What more could she do? Why couldn't he let go and just trust her?

He would never lay claim to her psychic talents, didn't think he could deal with it the way she did, but he knew something wasn't right, that she hadn't told him the entire story of her accident. He'd felt it when she'd told him, so matter-of-factly, that she'd almost died.

Near-death experience was not something he took lightly, and her waving off the occurrence as if she'd gotten a splinter in her big toe told him there was more to the story than just a fall. She'd omitted the details surrounding her accident, and it was those details, niggling and hanging out there unsaid, that had him questioning her sincerity yet again.

"
Feliz Navidad
!"

Zane started, then chuckled when Nova descended the stairs in red flannel Santa pj's and matching sock-slippers. "Merry Christmas to you, too."

"Where's Ransom?"

"He and Yo-Yo got an early start on that sledding you were threatening us with."

"So we were right, the weathermen and I?"

"Looks like it."

"Ready to hit those hills yet?"

He grinned at her. "I don't know if I've got the gear for it."

Nova eyed the crotch of his jeans and licked her lips. "Oh, you've got the gear."

Zane smiled, but his heart wasn't as into their banter as he wanted it to be. He didn't want to be a wet blanket but couldn't get away from it.

"What's on your mind, Zany Zane? Trying to figure out how to tell me something unpleasant?" Nova murmured.

"Not unpleasant. Imperative."

"Sounds heavy." She arched a brow. "The big kiss-off?"

"This isn't a joke, Nova."

"
I
know that. It's just my way of dealing with limbo, I guess."

"I thought I could handle this…handle us, but I'm having serious reservations."

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"About my…talent? Why? It's my cross, not yours."

"But you do consider it a cross?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

He put his cup on a coaster in the windowsill. "I wish I could be as nonchalant about this as you. But I have a child to consider."

"You think I'd put Ransom in jeopardy?"

"Not intentionally."

"Why'd you come, Zane, if you think I’m so dangerous?”

"Ransom wanted to come," he muttered.

Nova drifted over in time to see his nephew with Yo-Yo in his lap, flying down one of her infamous "awesome" hills, whooping all the way.

She sidled behind him and slipped her arms around his middle, standing on her tiptoes and resting her chin on his shoulder. “Only Ransom wanted to come?” Zane turned in her arms, feeling himself melt as she drew her hands up to his shoulders. "That's just it, Nova. I always want to be with you. You call, I don't think twice about coming. That can't be healthy."

"You're afraid of the way you feel, Zane. That's okay. I am too."

"It's more than that."

"You're afraid of me."

He frowned when he heard the words he'd been thinking. "That sounds horrible, doesn't it?"

Nova shrugged. "You feel how you feel." She hugged him tight, resting a cheek on his chest. "And so do I."

He didn't know how to take that, but from where he was standing, it sounded strangely like a threat. He thought it was his guilty conscience talking before Nova said, "I'm not letting you go, Zane. Not without a fight."

Ransom and Yo-Yo burst into the house then, trailing in the brisk cold air before the door closed behind them.

His cheeks were flushed, eyes shining and animated as he caught his breath before saying, "You guys don't know
what
you're missing out there.

Those are some—"

"Awesome hills. I know, slugger."

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Ransom looked from one of them to the other as Yo-Yo pranced around his legs, vying for attention. Then he frowned. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Not at all. Your uncle and I were just discussing when best to open the presents."

"Now's always a good time."

Both Nova and Zane laughed; the teen's good mood was infectious.

They gathered around Nova's tree, a live seven-foot number sedately decorated in white and silver tinsel with a lighted angel at the top. She'd saved that special moment for Ransom and Zane, asking them to do the honors and place the angel as soon as they'd arrived.

Ransom was the first to dig into the pile of gift-wrapped boxes. He found one with his name on it and sat down Indian-style to tear into the paper.

They stood silently, both of them watching in anticipation before Ransom finally revealed what was in the box.

Zane's brows crinkled.

"Oh wow! These are cool!" He removed the rock climbing shoes from their box, looked at them this way and that under the light of the room.

"I thought you needed a good pair of your own for when you get down and dirty with the sport, which should be soon." Nova smiled.