Better with Ben (How to Tame a Heartbreaker Book 3) (16 page)

She nodded, but he wasn't really waiting for permission. His lips were on hers before she really even had the chance to answer. Taylor felt her gut clinch the instant their mouths touched. It seemed like
forever
since the last time they kissed, and the relief and release that came with finally feeling his lips again was immense. She wanted to throw herself into his arms. It took every ounce of self-restraint she had to stand there and kiss him gently when all she wanted was to jump him.

By the sound of his breathing, he was feeling it too. Neither of them gave into whatever urges they had, though. They just stood there and continued the tender kiss even though it was a struggle for them both.

"It's not my fault," Ben said between kisses. "It's your lips. They
make
me kiss you."

"My lips are totally innocent," she said.

"No they're not. Those lips may be a lot of things, but they're not innocent."

She chose that moment to lick her lower lip. It was an accident. She honestly didn't mean it to be seductive. They were just talking about her lips, and it made her absentmindedly lick it.

"See?"

She smiled. "I didn't mean to do that."

"Oh really?"

She laughed. "Seriously. You were talking about my lips and I just licked them without even thinking about it."

"Do it again."

"What?"

"Do it again." He pulled her into his arms and stared down at her with a challenging smile. He was so gorgeous that she couldn't bring herself to refuse him. She tentatively ran the tip of her tongue along a little section of her lower lip.

"Shit."

"What?"

"You're too fuckin' hot. I can't take it."

"What's that mean?"

He broke contact with her and turned to pace a few steps as he adjusted the crotch of his jeans. "It means I should probably stop kissing you and go take a cold shower."

Chapter 18

As much as Taylor wanted to stay in Ben's bedroom and never come out, she just couldn't let herself. She knew Molly and Nick would make assumptions if they stayed in there too long, and besides, she was still overwhelmed by the trip to her mom's and felt bad about going from
that
disaster to
all worked up
at the drop of a hat.

She used his
cold shower
interlude as a way to break up what was happening with them. "I guess we should, uh, go back in there so they don't wonder."

Ben cocked his head slightly and regarded her through eyes that were narrowed in question. "What's wrong?" he asked sweetly.

Taylor breathed a little self-deprecating laugh to buy a few seconds. How could she explain that if she spent another second in here she'd most probably jump his bones even though it was 2PM on Sunday and they weren't even really a thing? "I was just thinking we'd hang out with everybody," she said. She shrugged. "I guess I'm just in a weird mood because it was so awkward at my mom's."

He closed the distance between them and took her into his arms. She stiffened slightly at first, but quickly relaxed, enjoying the feeling of being held again. Relief flooded her body—the same relief she felt every time he held her.

"It wasn't awkward. Everybody has a story. It's not as bad as you're making it out to be."

"It's pretty bad," she said, looking up at him.

"Not as bad as it could be."

She took a deep breath, wondering how she could change the uncomfortable subject. "It taught me a lot about what I
don't
want to do with my life."

"See?" He asked, giving her a little squeeze. "It's not all bad."

She giggled. "Glass half full type of thing?"

"Exactly."

"
I'm
usually the annoying one reminding everyone to see the positive side."

"Well even the reminder needs reminding sometimes."

She was quiet for a few seconds before smiling up at him. "I think the kids really like you a lot. Thanks for hanging out with them while I got a few things done."

"I had fun," he said. He flashed that easy grin just before he lowered his head and placed a quick but careful kiss on her mouth. Right when he was done doing that, he let go of the hold he had on her and turned for the door, grabbing her hand in the process. "Let's go find out what Molly and Nick are up to."

He held her hand all the way out of his bedroom, but let go of it just before they rounded the corner where Nick and Molly would be able to see them. Taylor didn't know if he was doing that for his own sake or for hers but she couldn't help the little stab of disappointment that hit her.

Nick was standing in the kitchen and Molly was sitting on the couch in the living room when they came in. Nick came around the bar to greet Ben and Taylor as soon as he caught sight of them.

"Molly said you guys came in," he said. He crossed to the living room and sat next to Molly on the couch. She cuddled up next to him, looking extremely cozy. Ben went into the living room and sat in the recliner but Taylor had some nervous energy and wasn't ready to sit down just yet.

"I'm gonna grab some water," she said. Ben started to get up, but she saw him and said, "No, no, stay there. I know where everything is."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there."

"What are y'all doing today?" asked Molly.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing," Ben said.

"What have you been up to all morning?" Molly asked. Taylor's head popped up. Ben couldn't see her, but she was extremely curious about how he would respond.

"We just went to Taylor's mom's," he said.

"Really?" Molly asked. She looked up at Taylor for confirmation, but Taylor was far enough away that she got by with acting like she hadn't heard anything.

"Yeah, she's got four little brothers and sisters. Jack's fifteen, Abby and Alexis are eleven and ten, and you can barely tell them apart, and little Henry's six."

"Why did I have no clue you had all these brothers and sisters?" Molly asked as Taylor entered the room holding her water.

She wanted to dump it on Ben's lap. Was he
seriously
bringing up her trailer trash family to Leroy Logan's son? Jesus.

"My mom and I are very different," Taylor explained. "The only reason I go over to that house is to see the kids."

"Are they your half-brothers and sisters?" Molly asked. Apparently, she was getting the idea of just how dysfunctional they were.

"Yes." Taylor said with a humorless smile.

"Are they cool kids?" Molly asked.

Taylor couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the thought of her sweet siblings. "They really are," she said. Then as naturally as she could she looked over at Nick and said, "Your mom and dad are trying to hire me for a party. Thanks for spreading the word."

Nick smiled. "They told me about that. I was happy to pass along your information. I think you'll do a great job."

Taylor had been standing while they talked but during the break in the conversation she shifted her gaze, deciding what section of the couch to choose.

"Come sit right here," Ben said.

Really? Was this the same guy who wouldn't even hold her hand when they walked in the room? Her eyes widened as she stared at him. Her expression clearly asked if he was thinking straight.

"They don't care," he said. He patted his lap. Taylor walked more stiffly then she intended, but her body was in shock, not knowing how to respond to his offer. Sitting on laps was PDA right? She set her glass on the coffee table before perching with very little weight on the edge of the armrest. She thought he might reach out, grab her, and pull her onto his lap—she wished he would do that, but he just let her sit on the armrest. Taylor was extremely uncomfortable perched there, but she played it off, continuing the conversation with as few adjustments as possible.

They talked for the next hour before deciding to go eat a late lunch together. She had been frustrated with him for telling them about her family, but as it sank in, she realized she was actually
glad
to have it out in the open. She still got along fine with Nick and Molly even after they knew the truth and there was a certain level of relief that went along with that. Relief was something she was getting used to feeling around Ben—it was as if he was helping her, little by little, to drop some of the heavy loads she carried.

Ben kept the touchy-feelyness to a minimum after being half-rejected by her sitting on the arm rather than his lap. He didn't mind pushing her out of her comfort zone—sometimes she needed it, but he knew when to say when and decided not to push her for more PDA than she was comfortable with.

They went to lunch with Molly and Nick at a local bakery not far from Belmont campus and the coffee shop where Taylor worked. They all got sandwiches on amazing, crusty rolls and croissants before choosing from a beautiful assortment of desserts. Taylor compared the scene of them eating this tasty meal to the one of her brothers and sisters eating Sonic. She felt a small pang of regret and maybe guilt thinking about them, but she reminded herself that she would continue to do what she could to help them. She had to begin building her own life or she'd be trapped there forever.

The two couples sat in the bakery for much longer than it took to eat their food. Lots of people knew who Nick was and a few came by to talk to him. He actually recognized two of them and carried on conversations for a minute, but the last person who came by didn't know him at all. The woman just came up and asked if he wouldn't mind taking a picture with her. Nick didn't sing or play like his dad, but Leroy Logan's level of fame made Nick somewhere near the status of Lisa Marie. He was gracious with the fan that came up to the table, but the others just waved or snapped a photo and didn't approach.

They all got along so great that it was hard for Taylor to refrain from picturing them being together on a regular basis. She truly enjoyed their company, regardless of whether or not Nick was famous. They all shared a similar sense of humor, which is what made it so much fun. All of them knew about the whole crime scene thing, and they talked about it, asking how Taylor was doing. She said it had gotten a lot better, but didn't add that Ben had been the one to help her the most.

"When did all that go down?" Nick asked.

Oh, how she wished she could forget it enough to ask a question like that.

"Two weeks today," she said. "Two weeks ago exactly."

"That's crazy," Molly said.

"Believe me," Taylor said smiling. "Crazy is
exactly
the word I'd use to describe it." She used a finger to poke at her head a couple of times. "It's hard not to let it mess with you." She paused for a second. "That's just something I never thought I'd do. I mean, what are the chances?" She looked at Ben, who was just listening and regarding her with a patient, sweet smile. "I mean, I know it could be worse and everything, it's just such a weird thing to have happen to you that it sort of sticks with you, you know?"

Molly made a face that said she couldn't imagine. "I'll bet," she said.

Nick asked about her cast and Taylor said that if all goes well it should come off in two weeks. Everyone had a story of a broken bone, whether it was their own, in Ben's case, or a friend's, for both Nick and Molly. All of their stories were funny, and Taylor had a good laugh imagining her arm all pale and shriveled up with a bunch of lent like something you'd see in a SpongeBob cartoon. She knew it wouldn't happen because she'd already gotten really nervous about that exact thing and done some research on it.

She sat next to Ben at the table, and every time he spoke, she got to stare at him in close range. The lines of his nose and strong jaw contrasting the gentle curve of his lips were enough to drive her mad. She wanted to be with him more than she'd ever wanted to be with another guy in her whole entire life, and wondered what it would take for him to change his mind about
not being in the market for a girlfriend
. He touched her a few times during lunch, but really hadn't tried to do anything obvious since she sat on that armrest. She wondered if he'd
ever
try anything again.

Taylor asked to be dropped off at home when they left the bakery. She told them she needed to get some work done on a couple of upcoming jobs, and being as all three of them liked their work, they understood. She'd been with Ben for the last six or seven hours, and quite honestly his amazingness was just too much to take anymore. She had to get back to reality.

They all rode in Nick's car, so he drove Taylor home. He was the only one who hadn't been to Taylor's house, but Molly told him right where to go. Nick's car was small, which meant Ben and Taylor were crammed in the backseat. They'd ridden back there on the way to the restaurant, but now that she was even more anxious to touch him, she was thankful for the close quarters.

Ben put a hand on her thigh about halfway to Taylor's house. She'd been cursing herself for ever sitting on the emmer effing arm of that chair—she was literally aching for him to touch her, and the place where his hand now rested on her leg felt like it could catch fire. She slid a hand onto his, holding it in place; then from the corner of her eye saw the rise and fall of his chest as he took a breath. He cut his eyes over to her and gave her a wry smile. She smiled back, feeling like she wanted his hand to start roaming.

Nick pulled into her driveway and all she could think was how sad she was that the ride was over. They all offered to walk her inside, but she said she was just going to go in and get straight to work anyway. She got out, thanking them and claiming she'd be in touch and see everyone soon. She didn't hug, kiss, or otherwise say a special goodbye to Ben; she just said goodbye to them as a group and ran inside.

Taylor did have some work to do, but she didn't do it straight away. For nearly thirty minutes, she just laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about everything that had happened that day and the night before at Jason's. She really didn't know what to make of her relationship with Ben. There was obviously something there, but trying to understand it was making her brain ache.

She ended up thinking about herself, and him and them as a
them
for the rest of the afternoon and into the night. She got some work done of course, but did her fair share of thinking and dreaming about what ifs with Ben.

By the time she went to bed that night, she had herself convinced that she shouldn't see him anymore. Her plan was to call him the next day and tell him just that.