Better Than This (30 page)

“You’re in a good mood,” she said.

I grinned. “Never better.”

I wanted to celebrate, so I booked a table at Marios for the following evening. When I told Marcus he wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the idea.

“This is a lot of money, Marcus,” I said, in case he hadn’t got the point. “I think we’re entitled to be happy about it.”

“Are we?”

I spread my hands. “What is it with you? You agreed we should do this.”

“Yes,” he admitted, avoiding my eye. “I did.”

“Is this still about Spectrum?” I asked. “Are you going to hold that against me for ever?”

He looked at me. “It’s not that. Not exactly.”

“Not exactly? What exactly is it then? Because I don’t understand the way you’re acting. This is what you wanted right?”

But whatever he was thinking he wouldn’t tell me. He said something about being busy and went back to his office. I kept thinking about the scene in my living room, and I wondered again, not for the first time, what Alice had said to persuade

Marcus to go along with this. For once, however, I was glad that she had that kind of influence over him, no matter how she managed it.

When I got home and broke the news to Sally, she too was less than overjoyed, but at least I had expected it from her and I understood it.

“A celebration?”

We were in the kitchen. Sally was cutting up tomatoes for a salad while I opened a bottle of Chablis that had been chilling in the refrigerator.

“Why not?”

She pursed her lips. “Did you mention this to Marcus?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“He looked as if he’d as soon slash his wrists.”

Sally kept her eyes down on the board she was using. “Perhaps he just doesn’t think it’s a good idea, the way things are between him and Alice right now.”

I hadn’t thought of that. “Maybe this could be a chance for them to get together and work out their differences.”

“They’re hardly going to do that in front of us.”

“But at least it gets them together. It might help.”

“Maybe they don’t want your help.”

Sally had already chopped the tomatoes into quarters but now she started chopping again, using the flat of her hand on the back of the knife as she see-sawed the blade back and forth.

“You’re not making sauce,” I commented.

She stopped, realizing what she’d done, and pushed the board aside, with an angry gesture. “I don’t think Marios is a good idea, Nick.”

“Why not? Look I know how you feel, but think about it. This is a new start. For all of us.”

“I don’t know, everything has changed.”

Perhaps it was still the funeral that was bothering me. The combination of the rain and the mud had made the wrapping up of Hoffman’s life seem bleak and depressing. I wanted to wipe that image out. Perhaps it made me doubly certain that you had to take your chances as and when they came about and in whatever form, and I wanted Sally to recognize that fact too. Between her and Marcus I was beginning to feel like I was banging my head against a brick wall. I poured a glass of wine.

“You know what, you’re right,” I said. “Something has changed, and you know what it is? We’re about to be thirty-five million dollars richer, that’s what! I don’t understand why everyone is so fucking depressed about that. It’s a good thing isn’t it? The bank doesn’t shut us down. We don’t have to sell the house. You can quit working and get pregnant like you wanted to. With that kind of money if we use it carefully we never have to worry about anything again. That sounds to me like we all get to live happily ever after. I just wish somebody would explain to me why that is so terrible because I don’t understand it.”

“Maybe it’s because this is what you’ve always wanted, what you’ve thought about ever since your dad died and so you’re forgetting something. This isn’t some great deal you’ve pulled off. Some business coup that you can be proud of and tell our children about one day. When you sell that program to Morgan you’re selling something that doesn’t belong to you. It isn’t yours to sell. In fact you can’t even call it selling, what you’re doing amounts to blackmail.”

“Come on, Sally, we’ve been through all this. There’s no clear right and wrong here, the boundaries are all blurred. What we’re doing is no worse than what Brinkman would’ve done and nobody should feel sorry for Morgan. It’s a business transaction, nothing more.”

“No, Nick, it isn’t. And that’s the problem. You can’t even see that. Or you don’t want to.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something here? This isn’t only about me,” I reminded her. “I didn’t make this decision all by myself. This was a majority vote. Marcus and Alice both agreed to do this.” Even though, I added silently to myself, Marcus must have had his own reasons for doing so.

That seemed to stop her almost like a physical blow. “Yes,” she said heavily, “I know.”

I went over and placed my hands on her shoulders. “I know how you feel. You’re a good person. But you’ll forget about it in time. Once we have the money we can start again. We’ll have kids, Sally. Three or four, as many as you want. And we’ll never have to worry that anything bad will happen. We’ll be happy.”

She looked into my eyes. “Will we, Nick?”

“Yes. We will. So why don’t we go out tomorrow and celebrate.”

She went back to preparing the salad, but I could see she was thinking. After a while she stopped what she was doing and said, “All right. We’ll go to Marios, but after this I don’t want to be involved. I don’t want to know about the money.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is. And Nick.” She laid her hand on my arm. “Don’t expect things to be the way they were. With Marcus I mean. Some things you can’t change back. And let him and Alice work out their problems alone.”

She let go of my arm and turned away.

The following evening I decided to chance the weather and put the top down in the car while I waited for Sally. It was one of those nights when the air feels like warm breath against the skin, faintly moist and cloying. It was cloudy, not a star in sight, and the breeze was coming from the south. It would rain later but for now it just felt close. When Sally came out of the house she was wearing a black dress that ended at mid-thigh and emphasized the beginning of a summer tan. Her hair shone and her scent reminded me of tropical flowers. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

“What is it?” she said, catching me looking at her as we drove along Mountain Road.

“You. You’re stunning, you know that?”

I meant it. She looked different in some way. There was a glow to her skin that I hadn’t seen before, some indefinable aura of sexiness. My comment melted a little of the reserve that had remained in her eyes since we had talked the night before, but only a little. She gazed out of the windshield, her thoughts lost to me. I didn’t hurry. I slipped a disc into the player and we listened to Madonna doing the old Don Maclean song

“American Pie’. There was hardly any traffic on the road. Once I glanced in the mirror and I saw a car coming up behind us fast but then when I looked again it had dropped back and stayed several hundred yards in our rear.

It was dusk as we wound our way up the hill towards the restaurant. As we approached the intersection where I had to turn off Skyline Boulevard, I checked the mirror and the headlights of the car behind were getting closer again. I slowed and as I did I heard the rumble of twelve cylinders and then an amplified growl as the driver put his foot on the gas.

I stopped at the intersection and made sure nothing was coming. The car behind was getting closer, the noise of the engine getting louder. Sally heard it too and looked over her shoulder, then at me, her brow furrowed.

“What’s he doing?”

When I looked in the mirror he was coming up quickly.

“Probably kids,” I said.

All the same I looked to see if I could make the turn but there was a steady stream of half a dozen vehicles passing, all of them stuck behind a beat up old truck. The car behind kept on coming and now the engine sounded like a series of rapid explosions.

“Nick…” Sally looked really worried, her voice sharply edged with concern.

I looked from the road to the mirror. It was coming up way too fast, and I knew it was some idiot game.

“It’s not going to stop.” Alarm sounded in Sally’s voice.

I knew then if I didn’t move he was going to plough right into the back of me. I wanted to make a right turn but there was another car no more than fifty yards away coming from my left and if I pulled out in front of him he was going to have to hit his brakes hard, but I couldn’t sit there either. I looked one more time in the mirror and the headlights were right there. In a split second I made my choice and floored the gas pedal as I spun the wheel. I heard an outraged honking as the driver I’d cut in front of hit his brakes and horn at the same time, then as I sped away and looked in the mirror I could see the driver right on my tail mouthing curses. Just behind, probably no more than a foot from his rear a blurred shape flew over the intersection without even slowing, in an explosion of sound. I registered darkened windows and green paintwork and then it was gone. The driver in the car behind looked slack jawed in his mirror wondering what the hell just happened.

“Shit. Crazy bastards,” I said.

“What were they doing?” Sally sounded shaken.

“I don’t know. Just kids playing chicken I guess.”

But for the rest of the drive I kept thinking about the sound of the engine and the glimpse I’d had of the car. It looked like the same one that I’d seen the day I went to Morgan’s house.

When we arrived, Alice and Marcus were already there. Mario greeted us like long lost friends, and he too appeared to notice something about Sally. He took her hands and looked her up and down and for once was almost lost for words.

“I hope you know how lucky you are, Nick.”

I made some light hearted reply, and he led us to the table where with great attention he pulled out Sally’s chair, and unfolded her napkin.

I had to admit that Alice too looked stunning, though in a different way. She wore high heels to emphasize her already considerable height and a long blood-red dress that hugged every curve of her body like a soft sheath. If she was wearing anything underneath, I couldn’t see evidence of it. Her dark blonde hair was swept back from her face, highlighting her cheekbones. Marcus wore jeans with a shirt and tie and looked distinctly uncomfortable. Something had altered in the way they related to one another. Alice was slightly cool when we arrived but she was poised, while Marcus appeared on edge. It seemed for a moment that none of us knew how to behave towards each other. I made the first move, and went to kiss Alice on the cheek.

“Great dress.”

“Thank you, I bought it today.” She glanced at Marcus. “And these too.” She touched the diamond earrings she was wearing.

For a moment it was as if she had broken some rule of etiquette with this oblique reference to the money and nobody knew quite what to say or do, though Alice remained unabashed. Then I laughed.

“Good for you,” I said quietly. Her eyes flashed in ironic acknowledgment.

I decided to follow her example and I ordered the most expensive wine on the list and a bottle of Krug to start that was priced at five hundred dollars. It was an absolutely outrageous extravagance and something that I wouldn’t ordinarily have done no matter how much money I had. Sally shot me a reproving look.

“This is a celebration,” I said. “We can afford it, and tonight we should indulge ourselves.”

I thought the champagne might loosen everybody up. When it came I filled everyone’s glass myself and raised my own in a toast.

“To success.”

“Success.” Alice clinked our glasses together with a smile.

But it seemed that only we had any real enthusiasm. Both Marcus and Sally went through the motions, but neither of them looked happy. After a glass or two I didn’t care.

“So, what will you do now, Alice?” I asked. “Will you still paint?”

“Of course. But I’ll build myself a new studio with a view of the bay. And you know what? If nobody likes my pictures, the hell with them.”

I laughed. “Here’s to a new start.” I raised my glass again. “But why stop at just a studio. The two of you can build a whole house if you want to.” Marcus glanced at Alice then looked away, and a faint frown creased her temples.

“We will see,” she said.

There was some unspoken subtext going on between them, but I didn’t know what. Maybe they wouldn’t get back together again, but I figured she would get half of Marcus’s share of the money anyway. Who knows, I thought, maybe she was entitled. Without her I was sure Marcus would never have agreed to any of this. In fact I felt in a generous mood towards her all of a sudden.

“You know, Alice, you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, but maybe this is a good time to bury the hatchet.”

“I’ll drink to that,” she agreed, and added with a sly laugh, “Maybe you’re not such a bastard as I thought.”

“And you’re not such a lousy painter.”

We eyed each other across the table. I quite liked that there was an edge beneath our light sparring. We were like inert chemicals which when mixed had a tendency to explode. Maybe we would never be great friends, but maybe we wouldn’t be enemies any more either. Money has a way of easing tensions.

Over dinner I raised the subject of Carpe Diem. I’d been thinking about it, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to work in advertising any longer. The agency had been a means to an end, the skills Marcus and I possessed individually had dovetailed neatly, but now I could afford to consider doing something else with my time. “As it is the business still runs at a loss,” I pointed out. “Perhaps we should think about selling.”

I’d expected Marcus to be surprised, and maybe to even disagree. He’d always enjoyed the creative side of the business, but he looked up quickly and then said, “What do you think we’d get for it?”

“I don’t know. The truth is we owe more than it’s worth.”

He hesitated and suddenly I knew what was coming. “Then how about I pay off our debts, and you sign over your share?”