Better Than Before (RightMatch.com Trilogy) (14 page)

“That’s sick, honey.”

“How could I have misjudged him so badly?”

“Because he purposely tricked you! I won’t allow
you
to blame yourself. He’s the villain in this charade.”

“I know it wasn’t my fault, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. For the first time in years, I was optimistic about my life with a man. I really believed we had a shot at a future together.”

“And you don’t now?”

“No, never.” She thought about the fact that she’d given herself to man she didn’t even know. She’d made love with a stranger.
That
she couldn’t confess to her mother no matter how close they were. “It’s over. Though he asked for a second chance.”

“He’s a powerful man. Used to getting his own way. Apparently, he wants you.”

“For now. But he’d discard me like he did the other women in his life. Probably more quickly as I’m so out of his league.”

“No, honey, he’s out of yours.”

They drank their tea and talked more about Spence’s motives until the adrenaline drained from Annie and she began to wilt. “It’s late. I should let you get some sleep.”

“Why don’t you stay here tonight?”

“I’d like that.”

As they left the kitchen, her mother slid her arm around Annie’s waist. Together they climbed the stairs and went into the guest room, where the kids stayed when they visited. Norma pulled back the covers and Annie climbed in. She kissed Annie’s forehead. “Try to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

It was only after her mother closed the door, and Annie was left alone in the darkness, that the tears came again. She was devastated about what had happened. Sad. Hopeless. So she sobbed it all out into the pillows once more. When she finally calmed, her old nemesis came back—feelings of insecurity, of not being good enough, surfaced in full force. Annie had been a bet, she’d been Number Six in a whole string of women that Spencer Wickham had tricked to prove a point to his brother.

Her mother was right. That was sick.

o0o

On Sunday morning, Spence rolled over in his bed and stared up at the ceiling of his master suite. Four skylights were embedded in the sleek oak, letting in the morning air. He couldn’t remember a time when he lay in bed like this. Even on weekends, he was up and about early. But he couldn’t motivate himself to rise and face the day. He hadn’t slept at all Friday night when he got home, had prowled around his house until early evening Saturday then dropped into bed exhausted and just awakened.

From the nightstand, his cell phone buzzed—for the fourth time. He’d checked the caller ID in case it was Annie—it wasn’t—and decided he’d better answer his assistant’s call. “Wickham.”

“Spence, it’s Sandra. I came in today to clean up my desk. And somebody else was waiting at the door. One of your clients is having a breakdown about some money he didn’t get from the bank. He said he couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

He thought about asking who it was, about going in. But that just wasn’t going to happen today. “I’m sorry, Sandra, you’ll have to call another partner. I’m in bed, very ill. I can’t even get up.” A feeling of hopelessness had eclipsed everything else and literally immobilized him. “I can’t take care of this today.”

“Really? I don’t remember the last time you missed anything at work because you were sick.”

“I know. I’d like you to cancel my meetings tomorrow, too.”

“I feel like I’ve gotten the wrong number. Even when you snapped your Achilles tendon ten years ago, we conducted business on the phone.”

“Just do it, Sandra.”

After he hung up, Spence switched off the ringer. He’d left his cell on all night in case Annie tried to call him. But it was obvious that she was done with him.

He couldn’t believe it. He’d thought she’d give him another chance. She was so sunny, so cheerful, so optimistic. Hell, she hadn’t even cut Keith out of her life after he’d cheated on her.

Unable to face the reality of her loss, Spence turned over, buried his face in the pillows and prayed for the blessed oblivion of sleep.

o0o

“Hold on, sweetie,” Julia called out. “You’re not running a marathon.”

Julia and Lauren were lagging behind Annie on their late Sunday-morning walk, which Lauren had suggested when Annie called to tell her what had happened with Spence. Annie had spent Saturday at her mother’s house letting Norma baby her, doing no-mind things, but she’d returned home last night to face the facts.

She slowed. “Sorry.”

“Outrunning your demons, no doubt,” Julia added.

“Again.” The three of them had walked marathons in the months after Keith left.

Linking her arm with Annie’s, Lauren moved in close. “We’re here to cheer you up, sweetie.”

“And
not
let you fall victim to second thoughts.” Julia had gotten angry when Annie had told her what had happened, whereas Lauren had been saddened. Annie felt both emotions today, strongly.

Still, she knew one thing. “No second thoughts.”

Julia flanked her on the other said so they could walk abreast. “I certainly hope not. Any man who would sleep with you,
then
tell you the truth is a monster.” There were no secrets among the women, and that fact had been the most reprehensible to her friends. To her.

“How could he do that? All of this?” Lauren asked.

“Because he’s like all the other venture capitalists in the world,” Julia answered. “A bastard.”

The epithet was probably accurate. “What I wish is that I hadn’t gotten so involved with him. I cared about the man I thought he was.”

For a moment nobody spoke. Then Lauren said softly, “It was fun seeing you excited about a guy, about the future. You’ve had a bad couple of years.”

Annie bit her lip. Emotion seeped out at odd times, but after the catharsis at her mother’s last night, she thought she’d be past tears. “What was I thinking?”

“That he was a man you could be yourself with.” Julia made the statement matter-of-factly. She always seemed so sure of herself. “That you didn’t have to feel
on
with, or pretend to like what he did. He purposely led you down that path.”

“I don’t have a clue what he likes.” Annie started to speed up again.

Lauren tugged at her and made her slow down. “You can be honest with us, you know. If you’re feeling more than you’re saying.”

“I feel really rotten. I wish our relationship had worked out. But I’m not planning to let him back in my life, if that’s what you mean.” She sounded as firm as she could. “Now try to keep up. I’ve got to walk some of this off.”

After an hour, they went back to her house for coffee. Julia had to leave first, but Lauren lingered after their friend’s departure. “You have a choice here, you know.”

They were standing in the driveway, the day overcast, matching Annie’s mood. “What do you mean?”

“You can try to work things out with him. Julia sees life as black and white, but you have choices here.”

“I’ve made my choice.”

Lauren kissed her cheek. “I just thought I’d mention it. Call if you need me.”

But Annie refused to even consider Lauren’s advice. Instead, she spent the afternoon and evening finishing a paper due next week, making notes to follow up on the school districts she’d applied to, then she showered.

Because she knew Alex and Hope would be home soon, she put on a little makeup and stared at herself in the mirror. “You were a fool, Annie. Again. Now, make the best of it.”

She was glad when she heard the front door open, heard the kids’ laughter as they rushed inside.

“Mom!” Alex yelled.

“Mommy, where
are
you?”

Raising her chin, she left the bathroom and went downstairs with purposeful strides.

They’d dumped their bags in the foyer, and Keith stood amidst the Hannah Montana backpack and the Ironman suitcase. Jake barked when he saw her.

 “Hey, you two.” The kids flew to her, gave her big warm hugs, and even the dog sidled up to her legs. “Hi, boy.”

Keith waited while they greeted each other, then said, “Go take the dog out, kids. I need to talk to your mother.”

Please, God, she thought. Don’t let him get on me today.

“What happened?” he asked when the back door slammed.

“Excuse me?”

“You look like you’ve been hit by a train.”

“Thanks a lot.”

Keith reached for her arm, but she stepped back abruptly.

His studied her. “Annie, what happened this weekend?”

“I cleaned the house, worked, spent time with the girls, took baths…the usual.”

“I can tell something’s wrong.”

She had to bite back the emotion. Keith had been different around her lately, and tonight, she found she couldn’t stand his kindness and would have preferred the attack after all. “I’m fine. I pampered myself all weekend.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I don’t care what you believe,” she snapped. “You gave up all consideration from me when you lied to me and cheated with another woman.”

Recoiling, he shook his head. “You can’t give anybody a break, can you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Once you’ve been crossed, there’s no hope of forgiveness. Most people make mistakes, Annie. Must be wonderful to be so…faultless.”

It took her a few seconds to be able to say, “This is such old ground, Keith. And we don’t have to cover it anymore. Let’s leave it be.”

He expelled a heavy breath. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Anything I should know about the kids?”

“Hope was a joy the whole time, but Alex went in and out of some dark moods. I tried to talk to him about it, but he clammed up. Even Mother noticed.”

“I’ve been telling you for weeks there’s more behind his mood swings.”

“Yes, you have. I thought it was a phase. Now I’m not so sure.” He sighed. “What do you think we should do?”

“Address it directly. So far, I’ve given him space, but we need to change tactics if he showed more signs of being bothered over the weekend.”

“Do you want to talk to him together? I’ve got some time now.”

“No, he might feel as if we’re ganging up on him. Let me try alone, first. Then you can reinforce it Wednesday night.”

“Whatever you say. You always had better instincts about the kids than I did.”

“Did he have any fun?”

“Yeah. Both of them loved going out on my father’s boat.”

“They always did.”

“So did you.”

Unbidden came a picture of herself taken on that boat. She’d sent a copy to Spence because he’d asked for a better photo than the one on the website. In the close up, she was sunburned, no makeup, her hair flying in the breeze. She wondered now if he’d mocked her wholesomeness.

Thankfully, the kids returned, Keith left, and Annie spent the evening appreciating the turtles they’d photographed on a new digital camera Keith had bought them, heard how Grandma and Grandpa had fought and how Daddy had spent more time with Alex and Hope than usual.

At bedtime, she walked into Alex’s room, where baseball posters lined the walls, a desk and chair sat in one corner and his collection of fire trucks filled a whole bookcase. “I’ve come to say good-night.” Her son said he was too old to be tucked in as she’d done with Hope.

He mirrored his father’s earlier expression of concern. “Mom, are you okay?”

“Sure, why?”

“You seem sad.”

Jake wandered in and managed to climb onto the foot of Alex’s bed. Annie sat on the edge of the mattress and he nuzzled her in an extra-friendly way.

“I’m tired, I guess. I caught up with chores this weekend. What about you? Dad said you seemed moody sometimes at the lake.”

And just like that, the solicitous son shut down. “I told him nothing’s wrong.”

“Alex, you can talk to me. Remember what I said the other day in the playroom? I understand what it’s like to be almost twelve.”

“Dad said that, too. I told him I needed privacy, just like I told you.”

“And I’ll give it to you. But honey, I’m not going to let you continue to feel bad forever.”

“I don’t. I’m fine.” He slid down under the sheet. “Good night, Mom.”

She kissed his forehead.

But as Annie headed to her bedroom, she strongly suspected Alex wasn’t fine. Not any more than she was. They were both pretending. At this point, though, there was no alternative for her.

o0o

On Friday morning, Spence took the first flight he could get out to New York, called Jacob Henderson and asked to meet him at the AllGreen headquarters that afternoon. The man was reluctant to accommodate him, probably fearful of what Spence planned to do, but Spence had insisted.

After the week he’d had, he needed to get away or he’d go crazy. By Monday, he’d been able to get out of bed. After emailing Annie, groveling, begging emails that would have embarrassed him before he met her, and getting no reply, he’d pulled himself together and gone into work after all. He’d slept like shit all week, thinking about how badly he’d behaved with her. But fuck it, she could have been more understanding.

No, an inner voice told him, she couldn’t. He’d victimized a loving, giving woman with his self-centered actions. He’d never been more ashamed of himself. She had no responsibility to alleviate that guilt.

When emails failed to elicit a response, he’d begun to call her. She must be screening her phone, because she never once answered.

So today, he’d decided to do what he was good at, which certainly wasn’t relationships. It was the world of work, and when he walked into AllGreen’s offices, Spence donned his consummate venture-capitalist mask.

Their space was well-appointed but not ostentatious. The CEO’s office wasn’t any bigger than those of the other six employees, and the furniture was functional as well as aesthetic. Dressed in a suit and tie, Jacob Henderson sat at his desk, where he was intent on a computer screen. When he saw Spence, his expression became tinged with fear. Annie’s friend’s comment came to him,
VC stands for vicious cannibal.

Henderson stood. “Wickham. I wasn’t expecting you so soon. I was hoping for more time.”

“I was unexpectedly freed up, so I decided to check out your books today.” His tone brooked no argument. “I assume that’s acceptable to you.”