Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (34 page)

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I just want you to know that I can’t have you wooing me and thinking I will just spread my legs for you. It’s going to take time for me to forgive you. I need you to give me that time. I am willing to let you try. But I have one condition. No sex. I have a tendency to not be able to control myself when you do things to me and I need to have control right now.”

“Okay. I promise not to have sex with you until you tell me that is what you want.” I walk up very close to her. I use my hand to pull her close to me and she places her hands on my chest. I lean down to her ear and I whisper to her, “I won’t fuck you until you beg me to. And I promise, you will beg me to fuck you.” I move away and I take her hand again. She is speechless and starts to walk with me again. I won’t fuck her. But she didn’t say anything about me making her want to fuck me. 

This game just got even better. 

I lead her farther down the beach until we get to the small harbor. Karen looks around but doesn’t say anything. I find myself excited and anxious at the same time. I want her to enjoy this but I don’t even know if she likes boats. I take us to my boat, Mi Amor, my love. It isn’t a huge boat. It’s more of a sail boat but since I don’t know shit about sailing, I had one of the crew members I hired to take us out today. The crew member comes out to greet us and I help Karen inside the boat. Her face is shining with wonder and I can tell she is just as excited as I am. I watch her as she looks around the boat and she looks like she is already enjoying this. I don’t really listen to the crew member talk to me. I have my eyes on one thing. I watch her as she walks around touching everything she comes across. It is simple and big enough to have a few people on board. The name Mi Amor was already painted on the side when I bought it. I never bothered to change it even though I knew it what it meant. And now, the name is perfect. I may not know if I feel love for her, but it’s pretty damn close. 

I walk over to Karen and we take a seat close to the front of the boat. A few moments later we are on our way out of the harbor and making our way out to the sea. I don’t look at the water or the people out today. I don’t see how beautiful it is to be out in the open sea. I only see her. I see how her blonde hair is blowing in the wind. I see that amazing smile that I have grown to crave. I see her relax and she is having the time of her life right now. Everything else going around us doesn’t even cross my mind. Nothing but her. She’s the only person I want to see. The only person I want to make feel this way for the rest of her life. 

She looks at me with the biggest grin on her face and warmth spreads all throughout my body. I want to make it my life’s mission to see that grin on her face at all times. Seeing her like this, happy and carefree, makes all my fucked up problems fade away. She is my light. Her light outshines my darkness. Karen is the only person that can make me want to feel this way. In this moment, I wish I could hit pause. I wish that I could hold onto this and never let go. I can’t help but want more with her right now. I want it all with her. I want to be the man she is proud of to call hers. The man that provides for her and cares for her. I want to be the one she wants to turn to when she needs anything. 

I can be that man for her. 

I will be that man for her. 

The week of letting Jason show me how much he can change and wants to change has been the best experience of my life. He has something new planned for us every day. Each I see a new side to him and I can see him changing. I don’t know how he comes up with the things he has for us to do. It’s never the same thing either. The boat ride was just the start. We have been snorkeling, visited the local shops, eaten out at fancy restaurants, and midnight walks on the beach. We have sprawled out underneath the stars on the hammock and did nothing but talk all night. He has taken me to the beach where we swam and played like teenagers. We even spent one night cuddled up on the couch and watched re-runs. All this time spent with him has done nothing to contain the overwhelming feelings I have. Every single day they have grown stronger. I didn’t think it was possible to love a person as much as I do him. 

I’ve yet to tell him. A part of me is worried he will freak out about it. Then the other part of me, is telling me now isn’t the time. Although things have been wonderful and exciting, I can tell there is something bothering him. He’s been constantly checking his phone all week, and I can’t help but think the worst is yet to come. He has had a few moments when he let the darkness inside of him takeover, but all I had to do was make him look at me and tell him to come back to me. I can tell he is fighting hard to keep it at bay. I can see his struggle with it. But knowing I alone have the power to bring him back from going over and letting that side of him break free is … well it’s a powerful feeling. Overwhelming as well. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I wasn’t there with him when something made him want to turn over to the darkness. Would he let it take over? 

Not to mention the damn sexual tension between us. I thought it would be easy to keep him at arm’s length. I thought keeping my distance would help me not want him as much. Boy was I ever wrong. I want him more now than I ever had before. All his light and innocent touching and tender kisses are driving me insane with need. With a hunger that only he can quench. But most of all, I miss the more dominate side of him. Don’t get me wrong, I love this sweet and playful side but at the same time, I miss him taking over my body. I miss the things he could do to me just by his demanding voice. I never thought I would miss that part of him, but I do. I think maybe knowing I let him control me before and how freeing that felt, makes me want that side of him again. He was right when he told me I would have to beg him to fuck me. He was true on his word. Jason has yet to take things further. He always stops himself from going too far and fuck, it has been frustrating. I know it is my fault and my big mouth for him being this way. I was the one who told him no sex. Me and my big ass mouth. 

Today, his week is up. Today is the day that I think I’ll give in and beg him to fuck me. I want that. I want him to give me everything he wants to give. I know it will be an amazing ride and I can’t believe how much I want it. How much I want him. I still haven’t fully forgiven him for hurting me or for helping Dominic hurt Riley, Isaac, and Conner. I think eventually I will be able to forgive him, but I am not ready for that just yet. 

I sit on the bed thinking of how I want to approach the sex subject again. He’s in the shower and I am beyond nervous. I know this is what I want. I know he wants me as well. It isn’t easy to hide his growing bulge every time he is close to me. This isn’t like me to be nervous and anxious to say what is on my mind. I am a very blunt person. But for some reason, I am almost afraid to go after what I want. 

“Come on Karen. Get a grip.”

I should just go for it. I should just get up and walk into the shower and get in with him. He told me I would have to beg for it. But then I think back to when I tried to give myself to him before we got to Cozumel. He would always find a reason not to take things further then. The rejection from him cut deep and I think that is what is holding me back now. I don’t want him to say no. I want him to want me just as much as I want him right now. 

I sigh and push back my shoulders. I stand up and I remove my clothes. I have made up my mind. I want him and I will make him want me. 

I walk into the bathroom, and I see him standing in the shower with his hands against the wall. His back is to me and he must not hear me come up behind him. I take a minute before getting in and just look at him. He shouldn’t look this damn good. His back is hard and muscular. His ass is firm and all I want to do is hold on to it as he pounds in and out of me. I can see his tattoo and it makes him even more stunning. That tattoo says so much about him and I still want him to tell me the meaning behind it. 

I watch as the water rolls off him and I lick my lips wanting to lick the drops off him. My mouth suddenly dries up and my stomach clenches staring at him. With a shaky hand I open the shower door and I step inside with him. He turns around quickly and when he sees me naked and open for the taking, his eyes fill with lust. 

“What are you doing my little vixen?”

I love it when he calls me that. It sends delicious sensations throughout my entire body. Especially my pussy. 

“You know what I want.”

“Tell me Karen. What do you want?”

I look him directly in his eyes as I say, “I want you.”

His eyes close and like a dam has been broken, he opens them and I can see how much he has been holding back for me this past week. He doesn’t waste a second taking my mouth with his. His kiss takes me by surprise and I wrap my arms around his neck to keep from falling. As his tongue pushes inside my mouth I moan and his hands come around my waist. They slowly make their way up my back and my stomach. He pushes me against the wall as he kisses me down my neck. I close my eyes taking it all in. I can’t keep myself quiet. I moan loudly as his mouth makes its way to my breasts. He sucks on one and uses his other hand to caress the other. He bites on my nipple and I call out his name. But as quickly as he started, he stops. 

He pulls away from me, both of us panting loudly. I don’t understand why he stopped. I want him. I told him I want him. 

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t say anything as he pulls me under the spray of the shower. He lets the water soak my hair as he lathers the wash cloth with my favorite body wash. He takes his time as he washes my entire body. He moves me just the way he wants to clean every inch of me. He even kneels down to wash my legs and feet. Then he begins the torture. As he slowly makes his way up to the most intimate part of me my breath leaves me. He opens me with his fingers as he massages the cloth, washing me. It is erotic and feels fucking amazing at the same time. 

Jason stands and as he still uses his fingers to open me and the other washing me, he looks into my eyes. He continues his torture on my pussy making me want him more and more. His eyes start to change to that light brown color I love to see on him. His massage is slow and gentle. This moment seems to be more intimate that any other moment we have had before. 

When he pulls his hands away I moan in protest. He smiles at me and rinses me off. Then he starts to wash my hair for me. I can’t help but to close my eyes and relax as his fingertips rub my head. He is very good at this. I feel so worshipped and I am glad I had the courage to come to him. His hands rub my neck, and down to my shoulders as well. Every touch he gives me is making me want more and more. I think he is doing this on purpose. 

He turns me around and rises out my hair. Once I am clean enough to his standards, he turns off the water and he gets out first. He grabs a towel and dries me from head to toe before he does the same to himself. He wraps the towel around me and one for himself. He leads me to the sink and pulls out a hairdryer. I look at him curiously, wondering what the hell he wants to do. He takes out a hair brush next and turns me around so I am facing the mirror. I watch him as he starts to brush my hair. He’s very tender with me. Once he is satisfied with the brushing, he turns on the dryer and starts to dry my hair. I can’t do anything but stare at him in wonder. Who is this man and what has he done with Jason?

He really has come a long way since he first took me and showed me who he really is. I still can’t believe this is the same man from all those nights ago. Who would’ve thought he could be this sweet and gentle man underneath all that darkness. I love this side of him. I want to see this side of him more and more. 

But right now, I want the other side. I want that dominate and demanding man that can make me weak to the knees with just one word. I want the man that can make my whole body do things that shouldn’t be possible. I know he is in there and I am determined to bring that out of him. I am shocked I want that more than the gentle Jason. He has changed me as well. Since that first night when he spanked me, he awoke something that I never knew I had inside of me. 

For the first time since the night he tried to kill me, I feel the inner fight I have been dealing with fade away. I see the control part of me throw in the towel and my inner goddess get out of the bed and starts to stretch. She is ready for what is to come tonight. She nods her head at me in encouragement, and I smile. Jason has no idea what he has created. 

I start to flush and pant when he turns off the dryer. I look at him in the mirror and I can see the lust he has for me. We both know what is about to happen. I want him to take me to bed right now. But he doesn’t. He turns me around and pushes back my hair from my face. He looks at me almost as if he wants to say something but he doesn’t. I don’t know what he is waiting for. The damned anticipation is killing me. I just want him to fuck me already. As if he can read my thoughts he smiles and lets out a husky chuckle.