Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (28 page)

“Jason, something is burning!”

He jumps away from me and starts to cuss. Fuck me. No. And that is exactly what’s wrong with that statement. Sex with Josh, it was always available. Sex with Jason is pretty much non-existent. He pulls out the now burnt bread as I jump off and look for my clothes. He tosses the bread into the trash and when he turns to look at me, we both start to laugh. 

The taste of Karen’s pussy on my mouth is driving me crazy with lust. I want to suck and lick her for the rest of the day and night. I can’t get enough of her. Her taste is addicting and I have yet to get my fill of her. If it wasn’t for the damn bread burning I would still have my face all over her pussy. I should’ve known better than to get in between her legs. It only takes a second to get lost in her. Into the way she sets my body aflame. There is no way in hell I can resist her anymore. A week of staying away is enough. I can now take what is mine. I can now make her mine and not have to worry about anything else. 

We’re finally safe here. Since we arrived, I have felt different. I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of me. Things seem clearer, and I am not as angry. I don’t have to look over my shoulder every time I leave. No one knows where we are now. It’s freeing. Things I used to worry about no longer matter. I know eventually we will have to go back. I know I will have to be the man I no longer want to be. But for now, for now I am going to embrace this feeling. This change in me that makes Karen smile and playful. I will do anything and everything to see that smile for the rest of my life. 

She helps me clean up the mess we made after we finished eating, and I suggest we take a walk on the beach. She lights up like a kid at Christmas and goes to find a bathing suit. I casually wait for her on the couch and I think again how normal this all feels. Why wasn’t it this way with Rachel? I run my hands through my hair and push thoughts of her away. Now is not the time to be thinking of my past. 

I jump off the couch when Karen walks back into the room. Fuck me. 

“That’s all you’re going to wear?” I ask her. I don’t like her being so exposed in that tiny bikini. Yes I know we are going to the beach and what else would she wear, but I don’t want everyone looking at what’s mine. 

She rolls her eyes as she says, “Really Jason? I have shorts and a tank to cover me. I just want your opinion. Don’t you like it?”

She starts to turn showing it off, and I do like what I see. But that doesn’t mean I want anyone else to see what I have. The black two piece looks great on her. It barely covers her ass, and the top crisscrosses in the back. I want to slowly untie those strings and see what’s underneath. I feel my cock start to stand in attention. If she doesn’t put something over that, I’m going to fuck her right now. 

“Karen, if you want to go to the beach you should put something over it.”

She stops her show and her eyes fill with lust. Okay maybe she doesn’t want to go. 

“I’ll be right back.”

I sigh, knowing she must have something up her sleeve. She has been practically begging for a week straight for my hard cock and yet, she turns to put clothes over her sexy body. I’ll admit, I have worried about what she might want from me. She isn’t going to keep silent much longer about being kept in the dark with this whole fucked up situation. I should just go ahead and tell her. I should just purge all of my demons now. But before I do, visions of Rachel’s mangled and bloody face pops in my head and I shut all thoughts of telling Karen about my past. I just can’t risk it. I can’t let anything happen to her. If I can, I will put it off as long as possible. 

I jerk a little when I feel Karen put her hand in mine. I didn’t even hear her come back into the room. Fuck I need to calm down. She looks concerned for me and I need to at least pretend to not be freaking the fuck out like a damn teenager on his first date. I give her a small smile and she instantly smiles back. I take her hand back into mine and I lead her outside. 

We walk in silence to the beach. It’s not a far walk from the cabin, but I know since we got here Karen has been dying to go. I could see in all over her face when she stepped out of the car. She couldn’t take her eyes off the waves. I don’t blame her. This place has always been calming for me. It makes the dark parts of me stay at bay and I feel somewhat at peace here. But it’s been years since I have been here. And I have never brought anyone with me until now. Karen is special, and I hope she knows that. 

I find us a spot on the beach and we both sit and listen to the waves crashing against the shore and the rocks in the distance. I hear Karen take a relaxing breath and I turn to look at the vixen beside me. What a sight. Her eyes are closed and her head is tilted back. The way the sun shines on her soft skin almost makes her glow. The breeze blows her hair and I smell her jasmine and lavender scent. I inhale deeply. I love that smell. Probably because it’s her smell. 

She opens one eye and says, “I can feel you watching me. It’s kind of creepy.”

I let out a laugh and give her a smirk. “Well I am kind of a creepy guy.”

“That you are,” she says back with a sexy grin. My cock twitches see that grin. I want to see more of that grin. 

“So are you going to tell me where we are this time? Or will I have to torture it out of you with sex?”

I let my head fall back and I laugh at her statement. She’s throwing back what I did to her in my face. She doesn’t even know it, but she is making me feel ... well, fuck, I feel like a kid again. Just without the fucked up life. 

“We are in Cozumel Mexico. We are safest here since no one knows about this being mine.”

“It’s beautiful here. Peaceful.”

“It really is. I haven’t been here in a long time. I almost forgot how much I love being here.”

“Wait, how is the cabin so clean and looks like someone just left? And the pantry is fully stocked. Not to mention the closet full of clothes.”

“I have a local woman come by every few days to clean the place and she was more than happy to get the other things I asked of her.”

Karen seems to think about this for a few minutes. I can tell there is something else she wants to ask me, and a part of me doesn’t want to know. I don’t want anything to ruin the moment. Like earlier. I thought we both would be back to the awkward silence after she assumed the clothes were from another woman. The jealousy she showed surprised me and at the same time, I was hard as a fucking rock for her. Angry and jealous Karen is sexy as hell. She took me by surprise again when she came and found me on the hammock. My trust in her is slowly growing, just knowing she didn’t sneak out and find a way to go back to the airport. I know she doesn’t realize how hard it is for me to fully trust in her yet, but I am trying my damnedest. The feel of her next to me was unlike anything I have ever felt before. I wanted to keep her right there in that exact moment forever. 

“Are you going to tell me why you brought me here? Why all of this is happening?”

Her questions make me face reality again. I sigh and look away from her. I look out into the ocean hoping it can provide me with the answers she is looking for. I don’t know how I should answer her. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to bring her here. I get up and brush the sand off of me and I hold out my hand. 

“Come. We need to go.”

She stands and shakes her head. She’s disappointed at me. 

“Jason you have to tell me something here.” She takes my hand and wills me to look at her. “You can trust me. I won’t run from you. I am here for better or worse.”

I want to believe her. But I can’t. Those same soothing words were muttered to me by another and I made the mistake of believing those words. That’s all they were. Just words with no meaning behind them. But as I look at Karen, I can tell she means what she is saying. Or at least she wants to. I don’t think she is ready for the whole truth yet. 

“Enough. Let’s go.”

I let go of her hand and I wait for her to lead the way back to the house. I need to put some distance between us right now. I couldn’t bear it if something were to happen to her because of me and because I couldn’t keep my fucking mouth shut. I know the whole truth will hurt her in more ways than one. I don’t know if I can see her hurt like that because of me. 

As we walk into the cabin, Karen goes into the bathroom to change. I look around the cabin hating myself for what I am about to do to her. But I can’t stay here and I can’t leave and trust she won’t run off yet. I sit on the leather couch and I sit back as I contemplate what I should do.  I know something has changed inside of her, but I don’t trust her enough yet. I don’t think it’s possible to trust her entirely.  And maybe it is a selfish fucked up reason for me to make sure she is here when I return. I run my hands through my hair, hating myself for not being able to let go of the fear she will run again. I get up with my mind made up. I can hear the water running and I know Karen is in the shower, I quickly walk outside, trying to come back before she finishes. I walk over to the small storage shed and unlock the door. I have to pull hard on the door since it’s stuck. I look around the small shed and I step inside the small space. I reach under the work table and grab what I’m looking for. I sigh as I shut the door back and as I make my way back inside the cabin, I actually start to dread what I am about to do to her. I sit on the bed absolutely hating this part of myself. I feel like I am fighting with myself about it. I don’t know if I should just trust her and go, or should I just chain her fucking ass to the bed like I want? 

I hear her gasp from the bathroom doorway and I slowly stand holding the chain that I want to bind her with. It’s long enough that she can move freely around the living room, but that’s about it. She never noticed the hook I had installed on the bottom on one of the beds legs. I hid it on purpose, hoping I wouldn’t have to use this. She stares at me and she starts breathing heavily. I can see terror and anger. She doesn’t want me to do this. 

“Please Jason. Don’t do this. Please just trust me! I won’t run I swear it!”

“I can’t take that chance.”

“I don’t understand. I thought you said we are safe here? If we’re so safe I don’t need to be tied down. I won’t run! I will stay right here.” She walks over to me and grabs my forearms. “Jason, please believe me. Or better yet, take me with you. Anything but leaving me here tied up like a goddamn animal!”

I snap my head up and look at her. “Is that what you think? You think I fucking like this? Well I fucking don’t! I hate myself each time I have to do this to you. I hate knowing that if I don’t you won’t be here when I return. This is the only way I know you will be safe and will be right where I leave you. I cannot lose you. I cannot worry that something will happen to you while I’m gone. This is the way it has to be.”

Karen shakes her head back and forth as if she is shaking off my words. 

“This isn’t the way it has to be. Trust me! That is all I am asking. If I run you will find me. If I run nothing bad will happen to me because no one knows we are here. Jason, I will not run! Just … just please don’t do this to me. I forgave you for it before. But I ... I won’t be able to look the other way this time. You say you have to do this? I say that’s bullshit. This is your way of controlling me. Controlling the situation. At some point and time, you are going to have to start trusting me. I will not be with you if you can’t trust me.”

Her words are like someone slapping me in the face. In a way she’s right. This is my way of controlling everything. And I don’t trust her. At least, I don’t fully and completely trust her. The question is, will I make her hate me, or will I give in and finally trust her? I can’t decide right this second. I need time to think this through. 

“I am going outside. I won’t be far. Consider this your test.”

I toss the chain in the corner and I walk out of the cabin. I let the screen door slam shut as I walk off the small porch and head back to the beach. I can’t believe I let her get to me like that. I can’t stop thinking of what she said to me either. She is right. I have to have the control. I have to control everything around me and everyone involved. Too much bad shit happens if I don’t. People die or betray you. One small move and it’s over. Lights out and never getting that chance to redo it. 

I pace the beach. I end up back to the spot Karen and I just were at. I don’t know how long I have been out here going crazy it seems. I hate this about myself. I hate knowing that I have to be the way that I am. I don’t know any different. I don’t know how to be a better man and act like normal men do. I was taught for years to be this way. I was taught not to show weakness or emotions. Not to feel was ingrained into my brain over and over. Dominic showed no mercy in letting me be punished if he didn’t think I was working hard enough or if I fucked up. I had to do everything he said. I had to survive. And now, fucking hell, now I am paying for it. My emotions are all over the place. Two sides of myself are fighting for control over my body. My past haunts me and reminds me why I have to be this way. So many things going on in my head. I can’t handle knowing I am starting to feel everything I have tried so hard for years to forget and repress. I can’t take all of this emotion at one time. I can’t do this. I can’t breathe. I can’t … fucking … breathe. Fuck am I having a panic attack?