Beta (6 page)

"I know. This is
something we should discuss in detail," he mumbled more to
himself.

"I would say
so...I just don't know how to be a parent. I mean, I didn't exactly
have the best role models."

"You're not like
them, love. You're smart and caring. I can tell you're already
getting attached to him."

I smiled down at
Christian, "I guess I am. People will know I'm not his real mother
though."

"They will only
know you didn't contribute genetically. Giving birth to a child
doesn't make someone a mother."

Truer words had
never been spoken. I was going to be taking care of Christian and
raising him with Titus.

"What if his
birth mother shows up and wants to be in his life?"

"I seriously
doubt that will ever happen. A few months after we found out she
was pregnant, she found her mate and he was furious she was
carrying my child. He wanted Christian aborted but I almost killed
him when he demanded it. So, he told her it was either mate with
him and leave Christian or he would leave her."

"That's sad," I
said quietly.

"Sad?"

I nodded, "I
couldn't imagine you making me choose between those things. Just so
we're clear, I would always choose my child."

He laughed so
lightly I almost mistook it for a breath, "I would never ask that
of you but I'm happy that would be your choice. I'm actually happy
she left though. I was going to marry her because of Christian and
that would have been a disaster after meeting you."

"You-you were
going to marry her?!"

He nodded,
"Seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

I shrugged but I
wouldn't show him how upset that made me. Of course he didn't do it
but it still left a bad taste. I didn't want to think about him
with any other woman but it was reality. I wonder how he would have
reacted if I wasn't a virgin. He probably would have been
furious.

"Hypothetically,
lets say she shows up and wants to be part of his life. What
then?"

"We are his
parents, not her. She has no legal or moral right to him. She
signed all of that away."

"She gave up her
rights to him?"

"An hour after he
was born."

Even though he
spoke apathetically, I knew it made him angry that she just
abandoned Christian but I was secretly happy. I didn't want her in
our lives especially if I was going to be a significant figure in
his life. I didn't want the drama.

"In the last
twenty-four hours you have been a better motherly figure for him
than she could have ever been. I don't want you to go through his
entire life feeling like you're not his mother just because you
didn't give birth to him."

I nodded, "So you
plan on staying with me then?"

He gave me a look
like I had totally caught him off guard before he frowned and shook
his head.

"If the fact that
you're holding my son didn't prove that to you then I don't know
what will."

A small smile
graced my lips, "Don't you mean our son?"

*******

Five
years later

I held
Christian's hand tightly as we walked up to the school. He had
already been through preschool but this was the start of his real
schooling and I didn't want to let my son go. We spent every hour
of every day together and now he would be taught by someone else,
someone less capable than me. Titus simply walked behind us as we
approached the school. He was less worried than I was but I assumed
that was due to the fact that he was a man and that meant he was
naturally less inclined to separation anxiety.

"Mom I wanna walk
on my own," Christian complained.

I frowned but
sighed and complied with his wishes.

"At least let me
hug you before you go."

I didn't give him
the option; I pulled him in for a tight hug as I fought the tears
though I was in a losing battle.

"I'll come to
your class to pick you up at 12," I said sternly.

"Be good today,"
Titus said as he hugged Christian.

Titus was a man
of few words as I had learned over our three years of marriage but
he meant every word he said.

"Bye," Christian
waved as he walked inside.

"He'll be fine,"
Titus said as he laced our fingers together to lead me
away.

"Kids are cruel,
Titus. What if someone is mean to him?"

"Then he will
deal with but do you honestly think anyone will mess with the
Beta's son?" He asked with a smirk.

I crossed my arms
ready to pout but he slipped his hands around my waist and kissed
the top of my ear so lightly, it was just a brush of his
lips.

"I bet I can make
you feel a little better about this," he whispered.

I didn't want to
give in so easily but he was making it damn near impossible to
resist. He knew I couldn't say no to him but I would try my hardest
to hold out.

"You have to meet
up with Zac."

He ran his teeth
over my ear forcing a shiver down my spine.

"Zac will
wait."

I tossed him a
pointed look, "I seriously doubt that."

He laughed
lightly and turned me to face him.

"Really, Lizzy, I
have time before I have to meet up with him. Lets go home," he said
coyly.

I looked into his
terribly handsome face feeling the same intense attraction I felt
when I first saw him. I still couldn't believe I was meant to be
with such a perfect man but fate really had my back on this
one.

I wrapped my arms
around his muscular neck, "Do you know how handsome you
are?"

His smirk
widened, "Maybe you should remind me."

I went up on my
tip toes to give him a publicly appropriate kiss. His arms wrapped
around my waist.

"I don't know. I
think I'm getting old, Lizzy," he teased.

I rolled my eyes,
"Don't be ridiculous."

He unhooked my
arms from around his neck and laced our finger together as he led
me to the car. I looked over my shoulder at the school, not wanting
to leave Christian but knowing he needed and wanted to grow up a
little.

"Are you sure he
will be okay?" I asked as we pulled away.

"He's fine. You
worry too much."

"Maybe you don't
worry enough," I muttered.

"Lizzy, I promise
he will be fine. He's only gone for four hours," he
reminded.

I sighed, "Okay,
okay. I'll stop."

"Good," he said
with a smile.

His phone started
ringing from his jacket pocket. He pulled it out and with a slight
roll of his eyes answered.

"Yeah?" He
asked.

He listened to
Zac on the other end telling him he needed to go to the pack house
now. It didn't sound urgent but Zac did sound a little irritated,
not necessarily with Titus but with whatever situation they were
about to deal with.

Titus set his
phone in a cup holder and reached over to lace our fingers
together. There was never a shortage of affection with him like I
initially thought there might be. He was a rather private man and I
thought he might not be completely open with me physically or
emotionally but he was like an open book. Even though he kept his
indifference with others, I always knew exactly what was going
on.

"I guess I'll
take you back to your office," he said. I could hear the
disappointment in his voice and couldn't help but smile.

"I have plans
tonight," I commented.

"With
who?"

He knew I didn't
really talk to anyone else except for a couple of the mothers that
had children in school with Christian. I was cordial with everyone
but I only really talked to Adrian.

"You," I said
with a light smile.

He returned it
and gripped my hand, "And what would those plans be?"

"You'll see. Just
be home by nine."

He pulled up to
my office and leaned over to kiss me goodbye. He didn't usually
drop me off but I kind of liked it. It was nice being able to see
him for a few extra minutes before I started my day of sick and
injured wolves. I loved being a pack doctor but it could get a
little depressing sometimes. It was rare that a wolf would get a
terrible disease which made it that much worse when I had to
deliver terrible news.

Today, I was not
looking forward to telling Macy she wasn't able to have children on
her own. She would need help from a doctor that specialized in
fertility treatments. It was unfortunate that most wolves based a
woman's worth on how well she could produce children. When a woman
like Macy couldn't have children, she was looked at skeptically. I
couldn't stand that about wolves but I didn't make the social
rules; I simply had to follow them since I was married to the
Beta.

Macy was already
sitting in the waiting room and greeted me with a bright smile. I
tried to return her bright grin but I knew my lackluster smile
offered her little solace. I think she already knew my prognosis
which broke my heart a little. She would make an amazing mother but
the only way she could have children would maybe be through
science.

"We can talk in
my office," I said to Macy.

She stood and
followed me down the hall to my private office. The sound of her
heels on the hardwood floors was almost ominous. She was a striking
woman which made this even worse because she would have beautiful
children. A sinking feeling settled in my stomach as I thought of
the best way to break the news to her.

"Please, sit," I
prompted.

She took a seat
next to me on the small, brown leather couch. I took a silent
breath to deliver the news.

"So we ran plenty
of tests and I guess there is no easy way to tell you this...Macy,
it is my professional opinion that you will be unable to conceive
on your own. Maybe with some help from a fertility expert, you and
John can-"

"No," she said
quietly. I noticed her wipe a tear from under her long, dark
lashes, "John can never know about this."

"Macy, I really
think you should tell him."

She shook her
head, "He'll divorce me if I can't have children naturally. There
has to be something you can do," she begged.

"This really
isn't my area," I tried.

"Elizabeth,
you're the smartest woman I know. You know I can't go to someone
outside the pack and John wouldn't let me have science intervene,"
she said as she tried to control her tears.

I felt awful for
not being able to help her but I really didn't know much about
fertility treatments. However, I couldn't help but feel bad about
not knowing more.

"Okay. Give me a
couple months to do some research and I'll see if I can help you,"
I said.

She nodded, "What
do I tell him on the full moon?"

I shrugged, "Have
sex with him like nothing is wrong."

"But then he'll
know something is wrong if I don't get pregnant."

I nodded. Titus
and I didn't have sex on the full moon to avoid me getting
pregnant. At least, that was my assumption. He had never said
otherwise and I didn't question him.

"I'll see if
there's anything I can do in the next couple weeks but I'm not
making any promises. You really should tell him, Macy," I
said.

She nodded
quickly before leaning over to hug me.

"Thank you,
Elizabeth."

"You're welcome,"
I said awkwardly.

She got up and
started towards the door before tossing me a grateful
smile.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I couldn't wait
any longer to pick up Christian from school so I went half an hour
early and just waited outside the classroom.

Another mother,
about my age, sat across from me but she never looked at me. She
purposely avoided eye contact with me because of my status, better
yet, the status of my husband.

"Which one is
yours?" I asked politely.

"Brittany," she
said as she pointed to a little redhead.

The girl was cute
with alabaster skin and plump cheeks but not nearly as cute as
Christian.

"You are the
Beta's wife, right?"

I nodded,
"Elizabeth. What's your name?"

"Connie. How old
is Christian?"

"He's five. What
about Brittany?"

"She just turned
six. She's a little older than the others," she said.

I nodded politely
as the teacher started to let the children out. Connie and I stood
up to go into the classroom and retrieve our children.

Christian saw me
but didn't immediately come up to me which struck me as odd. He
actually looked mad at me.