Bent not Broken (72 page)

Pacing, I desperately tried to remember every detail of that time. What the hell was she talking about? Stephanie? I fiercely rubbed my palm over my face. I spun back to her, speaking to her from across the room. “Did you know I came to Dallas for you, Melanie?”

She shook her head and my heart sank. She never knew I came for her? Is that why she thought I didn’t want her? Did she feel rejected because I waited too damn long? I knew I should have gone. Every part of me had insisted I go.

That still didn’t explain how she knew about Stephanie.

God, I hated having this conversation with her, but we had to get it all out. No hiding.

I tried to phrase it so I didn’t sound like the asshole I knew I was. “Did...did you know I was with Stephanie after I came back from Dallas?” Even now, that memory made my skin crawl.

Melanie shook her head, her lips pressed together. Her face was agonized as she forced herself to say it. Squeezing her eyes shut, she refused to look at me. “No, Daniel. I found out about Stephanie when I got to Colorado.”

I sucked in the air I couldn’t seem to find. Reeling, I tried to wrap my mind around a fact I had never thought possible. Melanie had come back to me.

“When did you come to Colorado?”

She didn’t hesitate, having no need to search for the date. “July seventh.”

I choked. July seventh. I didn’t go to Dallas until the sixteenth. I tried unsuccessfully to control my shaking as everything clicked. From across the room, I stared at my beautiful girl, realizing what I should have known all along. She didn’t leave me.

My heart rejoiced and broke at the same time because Melanie had believed something very, very wrong, believed something so wrong it was powerful enough to destroy two lives—our lives. The possible scenarios ran through my head, each of them leading back to the same person.

“Melanie, what happened when you came to Colorado?” I closed my eyes against her words, bracing myself for the rage I knew was sure to come.

I squeezed them tighter when a loud sob erupted from her. Her pain echoed around the room. “Stephanie,” she forced out, her voice choppy, “told me you were happy...with her.”

I bit back the growl that rumbled in my chest. How could someone be so cruel, so selfish to look an angel in the eye and lie, the intent only to steal and destroy? And how could Melanie have believed her?

I looked back to Melanie. Her eyes were still shut as if she were trying to block the memories.

I called softly to her, coaxing her eyes to meet mine, desperate to reveal the truth, “Melanie.” I took a tentative step forward when she opened her eyes. “I would never choose her over you. I don’t know what she said to you, but whatever it was, it was a lie.”

Swallowing, I took another step, narrowing the gap between us.

“It’s true, I slept with her, but not until I’d found out you were married, and even then, it wasn’t because I wanted her,” I whispered through a pained confession. “I’ve only ever wanted you. Every second since the moment I first felt you when your dad dropped you off in my driveway and every day since, it was you.”

Her face went white, the light reflecting the tears on her face. “She lied to me.” Such a simple statement, but I knew those words meant more to her than anyone could ever know. She struggled against her tears as she painfully ground out the words, “Nine years, Daniel. Nine years, and now it’s too late.”

“No, don’t say that,” I commanded. “Do you really think it’s an accident that I’m here, Melanie? You know as well as I do that we were brought together again. I can’t live without you. I haven’t lived a day without you,” I pleaded as I risked another step forward.

This couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it. We’d been through too much, and it was time to make it right.

She shook her head, looking at the floor. “I won’t come between you and your family. As much as I love you, Daniel, I refuse to be that person.”

Of course she thought I was with Vanessa. I should have realized what she’d meant when she said I had
her
. She had always been one of the most honorable people I knew. This was yet another thing that proved to me she was still the same girl I loved. She would give up what she wanted in order to do what was right.

Exhaling, I ran my hand through my hair, searching for an explanation. “I’ve never cared about anyone since you, Melanie, but I’ve
been
with a lot of women,” I stressed the word, praying she’d understand without having to go into all of the sordid details. I wasn’t proud of my exploits, but I refused to hide them from her. “Vanessa and I aren’t together. We’ve never been. It was one night, just like all the rest. She caught up with me the very day I saw you again. That was the day I found out about the baby.”

Melanie stared at me from across the room, her eyes intense as she absorbed everything. My stomach was twisted up in knots, my body rigid as I waited—waited for her to decide. We both knew what this was. She had to make the choice.

Neither of us said anything. The room suddenly felt small, as if the ceiling had dropped and the walls closed in, drawing us together. Energy swirled around us, her breath so heavy I could taste it. Our chests heaved as we realized how much we’d lost, how much we’d suffered, and how we’d been robbed of so much time. Stronger than all the regrets, though, was the force churning in the air, boiling, surging in our veins. It reminded us of where it had led us, standing mere feet from each other, insisting we didn’t waste another minute.

Chapter Seventeen

He’d always wanted me. Somewhere deep within me, I’d always known. Always. He’d lived the last nine years exactly as I had—alone—each of us in our own way. The energy built as we both stood staring, unable to move as our minds rejected the lies we’d once believed. It was all so clear. Part of me felt foolish, so naive to have fallen for another’s envy. But really, it’d had much less to do with Stephanie than with the insecurity I’d allowed to control my life. But now was not the time for regret.

“Daniel,” I called to him softly and without hesitation. I raised my hand, my fingertips hovering in the air as I beckoned him to me.

Relief washed over his face, and he closed the space between us. Our fingertips met, our spirits rejoicing in the contact.

My heart stuttered as his eyes traveled from our fingers to my face. His mouth turned up in the saddest, sweetest smile I’d ever seen. “I missed you,” he whispered.

I nodded, never agreeing with a statement more. Tears continued down my cheeks as I returned my own small, sad smile.

Wiping my tears away, his smile grew, true joy finally shining in his eyes, but his words were still filled with grief. “I missed this face.” He dropped my fingers to hold my face in his hands. His touch was soothing, filled with a love that stirred every nerve in my body. “And this mouth.” His thumb ran over my bottom lip before his mouth captured mine in a slow, adoring kiss.

I clung to him for support, my legs weak as I stared into his eyes. His love was so intense, yet his soul held so much sorrow. I wondered if his hurt went so deep that he could never heal.

“And these eyes,” he choked out the last as he gently brushed his lips across each of my eyelids. He pulled back, his hands gripping my shoulders. “I missed nine years.” With trembling hands, he held me, his anguish apparent, and I could hold back no longer.

Taking his face in my hands, I pulled his mouth down to mine, the desperation in my touch demanding that he never let me go.

His reaction was instant.

One hand found my lower back while the other dove into my hair, pulling me even closer. His lips were fervent, but gentle and sweet—always sweet. My body caught fire, desire coursing through me as I fully gave myself over to him. This time I wouldn’t hold back.

“Melanie,” he murmured as his mouth overtook mine. Surging warmth spread over my body as his hand traveled down my spine to join the other at the small of my back.

I pulled back, gasping for air.

It was hard to grasp that less than an hour ago, I’d roamed this house, sinking deeper and deeper into a depression I was sure I would never recover from. The incident in Daniel’s office had undone me—in a devastating way—sending the failing grip I had on my heart spiraling out of control.

But now.

Now he was mine.

Scorching eyes searched mine, filled with need. He must have found his answer in the flush of my face, because his hands abruptly moved to my thighs, lifting. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist.

I whimpered as he pressed into me. I longed to feel all of him. He crashed his lips back to mine and began to walk, whispering against my lips, “Where?”

I nodded toward the guest room. “There.”

His eyes darted behind me, and he carried me to the room, never breaking our kiss. Kicking the door shut behind us, he carried me across the floor to the end of the bed. The sheets were still twisted and tangled from my night of sleep.

Carefully, he laid me down, taking a step back to stare down at me with intense eyes. I’d never felt more loved, more cherished. Wetting his lips, he swallowed hard, his words thick in his throat. “I love you, Melanie.”

“I love you...more than anything.”

He stood above me, his body visibly trembling. “This is forever.”

Propped on my elbows, I looked up at the beautiful man standing before me, his statement simple as he promised we’d never be apart again.

I whispered back, “Forever.”

I would take nothing less.

The room was dim, the windows covered, the sun a faint glow through the slats of the shutters. His face softened and he slowly crawled up the mattress to me, kneeling between my legs. His hands rested on either side of my head, his body hovering above. Dipping down, he lightly grazed his lips over mine.

“How did I ever stay away from you?” Gentle fingertips caressed my cheeks, my lips, ran over my chin and down my neck. His palm came to rest on my chest, his fingers splayed out over my heart. It thrummed in devotion against his hand.

“I heard this calling out for me every day.” His breath whispered across my face, his words so sad, filled with so much regret. “Did you hear mine?”

“Yes,” I breathed out as I began to tremble beneath him. His eyes swallowed me, drawing me deeper into his soul, his beautiful soul that held so much sorrow and so much loss.

I covered his hand with my own. “It was the only thing I had.”

A wistful smile arched his mouth as his hand slowly pressed into my skin through my shirt. He brought his mouth back to mine, his lips smooth, his tongue sweet.

Exploring the body they’d missed so badly, my hands roamed his chest and his arms. Where I touched, his muscles twitched, jerked in recognition.

Snaking his hand under my back, he drew me close, pressed his body into mine. “Daniel,” escaped as a moan from the back of my throat.

My whole body ignited when he began to slowly move against me.

He wet my neck with open-mouthed kisses, and tingles shot down my spine when he traveled across the sensitive skin to the back of my ear, licking and sucking the whole way. He moved down my neck and over my shoulder, kissing a trail across my collarbone.

I found the hem of his shirt and tugged. He sat back and I ripped the fabric over his head, tossing it to the floor, leaving his heaving chest exposed. When he threw himself back at me, his mouth was urgent. His hands were everywhere as he ran them up and down my body.

“I wish I could tell you what I’m feeling right now,” he whispered against my lips, his voice hoarse with desire. “How many times I fantasized about this.”

“Yes...” I whispered back, unable to voice my own emotions—too many, too strong.

Above my head, he gathered both of my hands in one of his, skimmed down the exposed flesh of my arm with the other. He grazed past my jaw and neck, ran his thumb across my breast. He released a heavy breath when he found the band of my pants, his fingers trembling as he tugged the drawstring loose.

He pulled back, looking me in the eye as if to ask permission. Slowly, I lifted my hips, and he slid his hand between the fabric and my skin, pushing my pants down inch by inch until they fell to the floor. His fingers caressed my bare skin, awakening the desire I’d always held for him but never thought would find release.

His face was so close, his forehead against mine, his shaky breath mixing with mine. Gentle hands pushed my shirt up and over my head, his gaze never leaving mine.

Cool air hit my bare skin and combined with the heat radiating from Daniel. Thrilling shivers raced through my body.

His eyes swept over me. There was an audible intake of air as he looked down upon my naked flesh. “So beautiful,” he murmured, more to himself than to me as his eyes traveled farther down. I heard a small gasp and his body stiffened.

Chapter Eighteen

My eyes roamed her body, taking in every change and remembering all that was the same. I froze, my breath gone as old sorrow took its place.
Eva.
Her face filtered through my mind when I saw the scarred flesh, tangible evidence of my baby girl. Our baby girl. I looked at Melanie. Her face filled with understanding, her love and pain for Eva mingling with my own. My fingers shook as I reached a tentative hand out to touch them, to run my fingers along the skin marred in perfection, the deformity a treasure. I ached to embrace my baby girl as I left small kisses along the long-healed wounds, praying Eva could somehow feel my love for her.

I found Melanie’s face, desperate to tell the one person I knew would understand. “I miss her.” Gentle fingers reached out to run through my hair, her expression soft as we shared in a loss I was certain neither of us had ever healed from. No words were needed as we mourned for our daughter, our heartbreak freely given to each other. And for the first time since I’d lost Eva, my thoughts of her were not completely unbearable.

I’d never stop missing my baby girl, never stop loving her, but as Melanie and I clung to each other, I knew I could finally allow myself to heal.

The intensity of the moment was overpowering in the quiet stillness of the room filled. The tension grew as our energy surged in the air. Finally, it was too much.