Bent not Broken (55 page)

Melanie had a faraway look in her eyes and a small smile on her lips, and I wondered if she was imagining something similar.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, baby.” She was tucked close to my chest, my hands moving in soothing circles across her back, her hands resting on my hips.

She shook her head as if she were trying to clear her thoughts. She looked up at me. “I’m scared to death, Daniel.” She stepped back, resting her hand on her belly. “Our child is growing inside me, and I have no idea how we’re going to do this, but I want her.”

I smiled softly at this wonderful creature in front of me. She was perfect when I met her two years ago, and she was perfect today.

“Her?” I had to ask.

Melanie shrugged, and a small, soggy laugh escaped her. “I think it’s a girl.”

A baby girl. I could only imagine how beautiful she would be. I had to chuckle when I realized the picture in my head was a smaller, chubbier version of Melanie.

If I could only be so lucky to have two of them.

We moved to her bedroom, lying on her bed as we absorbed everything. We talked about all of our fears and the excitement that was beginning to build in us. Melanie eased every fear I had with a simple solution, and I did the same for her.

We could do this.

Melanie’s face turned serious. “You know my dad’s going to kill you, right?”

Shit.

Steve.

There was a very good chance he was going to cause me bodily harm. There were few people as intimidating as Steve. The guy was at least six foot three and probably weighed two hundred fifty pounds. I could never tell if he shaved his head or if he was bald, but either way, the effect was threatening.

“Oh, come on, Melanie. He’s not gonna kill me…maybe just hurt me a little,” I teased as I pulled her body on top of mine, holding her close. She felt so good. The days in between my weekend visits were complete torture. I woke up missing her and went to bed missing her. There was never a moment I didn’t want her in my arms.

She kissed me, humming with pleasure as I pressed myself against her. Five days was much, much too long.

But that would have to wait, because just then, we heard Steve’s truck pulling into the driveway.

I groaned as Melanie rolled off me, running into the bathroom to grab the test and put it in a garbage bag in her room.

“So, are we going to tell him right now?” I figured it was probably best to get this over with. Steve didn’t show his emotions well, and I could see him ignoring my girl for the next six months just to make her feel bad. But I was confident he’d have some choice words for me.

“No!” Melanie shrieked at me as panic raced across her face.

“Melanie, we’re going to have to tell him sometime. Better sooner than later.”

“Don’t you think we need some time to sort through all of this and decide exactly what we’re going to do? I mean, Dad will handle this better if we have a plan in place and he sees we know what we’re doing.” I saw her point. We had some major decisions to make.

“Okay, we’ll give it some time...but you don’t plan on keeping this from my family, do you?” I was nervous she would feel the same way as she felt about her dad, but things were different with my mom and dad than they were with Steve. Yeah, they would be disappointed in us, but I felt certain they’d support us. Even if they didn’t, we were all too close to hide something like this from them.

“No, of course we’ll tell them. They’d want to know.” She smiled tentatively and nodded.

Relieved, I held her face between my hands and brought my lips to hers. The kiss was filled with every ounce of respect and love I had for her. “Thank you.” Her lips were sweet, her skin salty with tears. I pulled away when I heard Steve open the front door.

“Melanie?”

“Hey, Dad. Be out in a minute.”

She smiled at me, giving me one last chaste kiss before grabbing my hand and pulling me down the hall.

“Hey, Dad.” Melanie squirmed, averting her gaze to her feet as she stood in the middle of her father’s small kitchen. I’m sure Steve had to know something was up just by the look on her face, but he was the best at being oblivious to everything around him. I didn’t know if he really didn’t notice or if he put a shield around himself so he didn’t have to deal with anything.

“Hey, Mel.” He looked her way as he reached into the fridge to grab a beer, snapping it open before glancing at me and looking away. He’d always hated me, barely acknowledging my presence anytime I was in his house. I tried not to let it bother me, but Melanie was going to be part of my life forever, and I hated that Steve and I couldn’t be on better terms. Our current situation definitely wasn’t going to help the relationship between us.

“Hey, Steve.” The least I could do was try.

He grunted at me and turned his attention back to Melanie.

“Um, Dad, we were just headed over to Daniel’s, okay?” She looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. I hated that she was feeling ashamed of herself when she had no reason to.

“Not too late.” With that statement, he looked in my direction. It was my responsibility to have her home “at a decent hour.” I learned a long time ago that meant ten o’clock. Of course, that never stopped me from sneaking in the back door later after Steve had gone to bed.

“Okay, bye, Dad.” She waved behind her as I took her hand.

I helped her into the car and went around to my side, feeling relieved to be away from Steve’s scrutiny.

I studied her face. “How are you doing?” I didn’t want her freaking out every time she was around her dad. She didn’t need to be putting that kind of pressure on herself and the baby.

“Fine, I guess. That was just...uncomfortable?” It came out like a question. She sighed. “I guess I just was worried that Dad could see right through me, like I had ‘I’m pregnant’ written across my forehead or something.”

“Let’s just not prolong this, okay? You don’t need to be feeling that much pressure every time you talk to him.” I reached over and squeezed her hand to encourage her. She always tip-toed around her dad, worried that everything and anything would cause him more stress.

“He has a right to know, and yeah, he’s going to be pissed.” I softened my voice, hoping to soothe her. I knew Steve could be harsh, and Melanie didn’t want to face that any more than she wanted to cause him added worry. “But we’ll get through it. He loves you, and I think if we give him some time to deal with the shock, he’ll be okay.”

At least I hoped that’s the way he’d react, but I didn’t want my own fears troubling Melanie more. I mean, I was eighteen and, well, Melanie was not. Steve could have my ass if he wanted to.

There were so many things we needed to talk about, and I could see those questions and fears swirling behind her eyes. I couldn’t even think straight when she looked at me like that. All the rest of this stuff didn’t matter; we had each other, and everything was going to work out. It had to.

Closing the distance between us, I kissed her gently.

“I love you, baby,” I whispered against her lips.

She giggled. “I think you’re going to have to stop calling me that, because I’m not quite sure who you’re talking to.” She reached down and rubbed her belly as a sweet smile came to her lips.

I chuckled, reaching my hand down to cover hers. “Yes, I love you too, baby.” It was true. Sure, I’d only known about “her” for the last two hours, but I did. How could I not be in love with something that Melanie and I had created?

My body trembled as all the regrets of my life washed through me, my heart feeling as if it were on the verge of failing. My soul cried out for her. It had never stopped its search for her in nine years, and I could still feel her calling out for me.

It was all I had left of her, this connection that could never be broken no matter how much time and space passed between us.

“Melanie, I don’t want to do this without you. It was only supposed to be you.” I dug my fingers into the carpet, praying I could feel her for just one second more. When my body had no more to give, I succumbed to the darkness that blurred the images in my mind.

Chapter Seven

My head spun as I slowly drifted toward consciousness. My body was stiff, muscles aching. My eyes fluttered, flashes of floor and eyelashes the only things visible as I tried to orient myself to my surroundings. Rays of sunlight filtered in low through the windows, an indication that the sun was just setting. My mind gradually allowed my body to come back to life.

I brought myself to my hands and knees, trying to gain enough strength to stand. My phone vibrated on the floor beside me, surely the trigger for my arousal.

I looked to the clock on the wall—five-thirty.

“Shit.” I raked my hands over my face to rub the drowsiness away. I had to get moving or I would be late. Reaching for my phone, I ran my finger over the faceplate to read the message.

Vanessa’s address.

Acid burned in my stomach. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten myself into this mess. How could I have been so stupid?

I dragged myself to the shower and turned the water to as hot as I could tolerate, easing my body into the stream. It washed over me, somewhat easing the tension I felt. I breathed in the steam to try to clear my thoughts.

What was I going to do? I was so lost. Having a child had been so important to me, but that dream had died when she did.

First off, I needed to find out if this was even my baby. I mean, now after five months she tells me I’m going to be a father? I did not trust her. I never had, and I wasn’t going to start now. But if the child was mine, what then?

Marry Vanessa?

Not a chance in hell.

The thought of living with that bitch put every fiber of my being on defense. There was no way I could do it. Yeah, it might be the right thing to do, but I was just not that noble—or stupid. I would have a responsibility to the child, but not to Vanessa.

After my shower, I put on the suit I’d picked up from the cleaners a couple of days before. I ran my hands through my wet hair and called it good.

I grabbed all the information I needed and stuffed the papers into my bag, praying I was organized enough to pull this off after ignoring the work I had planned to do this afternoon.

Locking my apartment, I headed down to the parking garage to my car and typed Vanessa’s address into the navigation system. It was six-twenty—plenty of time to pick her up and still get to Cushing Grill on time.

I sat for a moment when I pulled up to the curb in front of her house. She lived in a little duplex in a nice area, nothing upscale, but it had a family feel. At least she’d have a decent place for the child to live.

I rushed up the sidewalk and rang the bell, nervously glancing around me and trying not to focus on our encounter.

Vanessa answered the door seconds after I rang. I was taken aback as she stepped out. I could see the obvious bump showing through her dress. In all the shock of the day, it had never registered just how far along she was. In four months, she was having this baby.

Nerves prickled across the back of my neck, and it was not a pleasant feeling.

“Hello, Daniel.” She brushed my arm with her hand and started walking toward the car.

She let herself in, and I went around to the driver’s side and slid into my seat, not hesitating to start my car and pull away. My hands shook against the wheel. I stared straight ahead while I struggled to find the right thing to say.

“Five months?” They were the only words I could find. I didn’t believe she couldn’t have found a way to tell me sooner. Suspicion boiled right below the surface.

From the corner of my eye, I could see her playing with the zipper of the purse on her lap, shaking her head.

Finally, she answered, “I just didn’t know what to do. I called and you never called back. I got scared. I wanted to barge into your office and demand to see you, but I thought you’d just run. I figured if I kept calling, eventually you’d give in and call me back...just like you did.” With the last statement, she looked my way, waiting for my response.

“I don’t even know what to say to you, Vanessa. I met you one time five months ago, and now we’re having a baby in four months?” The anger in my voice was obvious. “I just can’t wrap my head around this right now. I don’t have any clue what to do.” I knew I was being harsh, but it was true. I had no idea how to handle this.

“It’s a boy, you know,” she said quietly into her lap.

I tried to guard myself from the memories her news summoned, but it was no use. They were all I could see.

January 2000

Melanie held onto my hand. I could feel her excitement and anxiety, as I’m sure she could feel mine. My stomach was in knots, my head sore from the number of times I had run my hands through my hair. I smiled down at her and caressed her cheek, looking into her green eyes that overflowed with emotion.

“Okay, Melanie, this is going to be a little cold.” Dad squirted some clear gel onto Melanie’s abdomen and held up the probe. “This is how we’re going to take a look at this little one.” He smiled at us, his joy evident. Mom placed both of her hands on my shoulders as she stood behind me.

Melanie was twenty weeks pregnant, and it was time for her first ultrasound. Dad had arranged to do it himself.

I had been so eager to see the baby, but I was still anxious. What if there was something wrong? The chances of that were low, but it didn’t stop me from worrying.

Dad lowered the probe onto Melanie’s stomach, and the monitor jumped around as he moved it to find the right spot. “There you are.”