Bent Not Broken (A Cedar Creek #1) (13 page)

Chuckling.

And giggling.

All around me.

My head snapped up and my eyes grew wide. I stiffly turned around. Oh my God! Why me?

“Time machine…”

“What’s a time turner?”

“He’s taking you to dinner?”

“He kissed you? And it was hot?” This came from Macy in an over excited voice. I saw her jumping up and down, clapping, looking just like Lucy at the park when she had learned about my puppy.

I stiffly turned back to face Cal to give him the glare of all glares. It should have instantly incinerated him, but alas! It looked like hot guys were resilient to female laser beam glares. Shit! Instead of writhing on the floor in agony, begging me to stop, he pulled me back into his body, gave me a peck on the lips, looked at his son, gave him a chin lift upon which Tommy handed his book to me and sauntered out the store, looked back to me, muttered, “Six o’clock. Be ready,” let me go, and followed his son.

Shit, shit, shit! Now what did I do.
Ice Bitch
Ivey was sitting at home sulking and anyway, I couldn't bring her to my store. That would be rude and bad for business.

So as every woman knew, there was only one option when you were too embarrassed to do anything else. Pretending it never happened. So I straightened my shoulders, took a deep breath, put a smile on my face, turned around, and got back to work.

Chapter Ten

Dinner

Ivey

It was 5:45pm. I was in my bathroom, finishing my hair and make-up. Why I was doing this I had no clue. I had had no intention of going out to dinner with Cal tonight. But Macy talked me into it.

“What do you have to lose?” she asked me. “Look, Cal is known around town for being a good guy, a good dad. Does he like to get himself some? Sure, but he is not a player in the true sense of the word. He doesn’t go out with women from town, he never introduces Tommy to any of his women, none of his women have come here to throw a fit for him leaving them, which speaks for itself. From what I hear from the men coming over to our house on poker night, Cal is respected as a good, honest man. Larry explained to you how a man like him ticks, that he won’t give up. Let him take you to dinner and see what happens. If you like it, let him take you out again. If not, tell him to leave you alone. But Ivey, what Betty said to you is true. And maybe Cal finally got his head out of his ass and decided to do something about it. I have seen him look at you, time and time again. And babe, the way he looks at you, he wants to snatch you up and drag you to his cave.”

That was exactly what I was afraid of.

Obviously, I had told Macy what happened that morning with Cal. It had been proven that I couldn't ignore my attraction to him. That I had no control over my body when he was that close. Not when he pushed it. And I had a feeling he would be pushing it tonight.

He was the kind of man that could break a woman.

Not like I had been broken, but
break
a woman. If I let him in and he chewed me up and spit me out, I knew I wouldn’t recover. I also knew that if I didn’t go out with him tonight, he would keep coming after me until he succeeded. He wouldn’t give up, just like Larry had warned me.

So I decided to listen to Macy and go to dinner with him. But with the intention to leave it at that. One night. One dinner. That was it. I was going to make him not like me, and then he would leave me alone and I could go back to living my life free of complications.

Done with my hair and make-up, I walked into my closet to choose my outfit. Cedar Creek wasn’t a fancy town with fancy restaurants. It was a mountain town with diners and family restaurants. So no dressing up.

I grabbed my nice dark grey cords, a tight black camisole and a flowy white long sleeve blouse, and got dressed.

A knock on the door. I checked the clock on my bedside table. 5:58pm. He was right on time. Early even.

Dang it!

I got up from the bed, where I had sat down to put on my boots, and went downstairs to open the door. At what I saw I stop breathing. Cal was standing on my front porch in his male beauty made even more beautiful by a cool as shit leather jacket over another plaid shirt with a white tee peeking out, both tucked into dark washed jeans, so you could see the cool as shit leather belt with its silver buckle, dark brown boots on his feet.

Yum.

When I looked up at him, I realized he had frozen solid. His eyes were travelling down, then up my body, and I saw his jaw clench. What? Am I not dressed right?

“Is something wrong? Did I forget something?” I asked stupidly, looking down at myself.

“No, babe. Next time try and keep in mind that I’m trying to go easy on you.”

Huh? Next time? Go easy on me? I didn’t get it.

“Babe, you look good enough to eat. Gonna have to stake my claim tonight, so that nobody gets any ideas.”

Huh. I kinda liked that. That was a nice thing to say in a macho-man-hot-guy-compliment way. Though on the other hand, I had dressed casually to turn him off and not give him any ideas. And I wasn’t something anyone could claim.

“Maybe I should go change,” I said in the hopes of throwing on some sweats. Maybe those would be a turn-off.

“Fuck no. I know you’re upstairs taking your clothes off, I’m gonna want to be up there with you, which means we won’t make it to dinner.”

Uh oh. Not a good idea.

I stepped back from the door immediately to go grab my purse and my own leather jacket. This made him chuckle.

“Good choice,” he said in a low voice.

As soon as I had my jacket on, Cal grabbed my hand, lead me out the door, took the key out of my hand, turned around to lock my door, then pulled me down the front steps to his truck. There he opened the passenger door, grabbed me by my hips, and lifted me up on the seat. He didn’t wait until I was buckled in before he closed my door and walked around the front of the truck to get in on the driver’s side. All this he did without saying a single word, but communicated by pulling and grabbing my body to move it the way he needed it to.

This made my temper rise. Perfect opportunity to let the bitch come out to turn him off.

“I can get into a truck by myself, Cal,” I snapped at him.

“Know that, Ivey. My way is more fun,” he said, grinning at me. I sat back and crossed my arms on my chest, making a
harrumph
sound in the back of my throat.

“Just so you know, babe, I can see you’re gearing up to play the game of trying to push me away by being a bitch. It’s not gonna work. So save your energy.” Long pause in which I seethed, but said nothing.

Then, “You know Betty is my mother?”

No, I did not know that. How did I not know that? Gosh, was I that blind? Wait, what did he mean?

“So?” I asked defiantly.

“Means she’s taught me everything I know about women. Granted, I went wrong more times than not, but that’s me being a dumbass not listening to her advice. With you, I am not making that mistake. And just like my mom, I can see straight through that wall of yours into the real you.”

My body stilled.

Completely.

Then the wheels in my head started turning and the only thing I could think of was escape. I needed to get out of here! Right now!

“Stop the truck, Cal,” I managed to say through my clenched teeth. He didn’t.

“Cal! Stop the goddamn truck!” I yelled at the windshield. Even I could hear the fear in my voice. Cal pulled over and while he did, I unsnapped my seat belt, ready to jump out as soon as the truck came to a halt.

I wasn’t fast enough.

Cal reached over to grab me around my waist and pulled me over the middle console to sit in his lap. My breath was coming so fast I thought I was going to hyperventilate. Or pass out. Or both. I started to struggle against his arms going around me, but there wasn’t enough room for me to get anywhere.

“Ivey, calm down,” Cal whispered in my ear in his soft voice.

I couldn’t. I was having a panic attack. Yes, that had to be it.

A panic attack.

My breath was coming out so fast my lungs started to hurt.

My heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

My eyes were looking around wildly, trying to find an escape route.

“Jesus, baby, calm down. Deep breaths,” still in his soft voice. I heard him talk but didn’t know what he was saying. Cal started breathing in and out slowly, which my body had no other choice but to react to, making me breathe with him.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

I took deep breaths until my heart rate slowed down and my lungs stopped hurting. I closed my eyes while I kept breathing slowly in and out.

There. That was better.

“Ivey. I need you to listen to me closely.”

I wasn’t going to. In fact, I was trying to block him out. If I couldn’t escape him physically, I could block him out mentally and pretend he wasn’t there. Pretend I was someplace else, someplace safe and guarded. Not in this truck with Cal, wide open and vulnerable.

But as he said, he could see right through my game.

He put his hand on my cheek to turn my head towards him, seeking my eyes. I had no choice but to look at him.

And he was close.

Very close.

All I could see were his eyes looking at me with such warmth and understanding and sadness that I got lost in their dark brown depth. In a voice so soft I couldn’t believe it belonged to this strong man, he laid it out for me.

All of it.

“I know you’re scared. Terrified to open up to me or anyone you think could hurt you. I see it. I feel it. It’s written all over you. I know you think you need your walls up, but you don’t. Not with me. Not with Macy, Betty, Pete, Linda, Cindy, almost anyone in this town. You are a beautiful woman. Inside and out. I might not know you that well yet, but going by how people talk about you and how they like being around you, I know that’s true. Everyone loves you. Everyone is protective of you. Everyone is worried about you. I don’t know who or what broke you and we’re not gonna talk about that tonight. What we will talk about is this: you are mine. I have claimed you. That means you don’t have to protect yourself from me.
I
will protect you. And I will take on those demons you have inside you. No matter what they are or who put them there, I will fight them with you until your light can shine freely. I will take them on and I will win, Ivey. I swear you do not have to be afraid of me. I will not hurt you. Ever. I am a part of your life now and you are a part of mine. And Tommy’s. With me comes Tommy. Which means, tomorrow we will come over for breakfast. And we will spend as much time together as we can. Every free minute. I will make you see that there is nothing to fear. Trust yourself in our hands and I swear, I swear you will not regret it.”

Deep breathing.

In and out.

In and out.

I closed my eyes tightly and let my head fall until it hit his chest. There I kept breathing while Cal stroked my cheek with his thumb.

Okay, I believed he believed what he was saying. It was clear that he meant every single word he said. I could see it in his eyes. Down to his soul. He swore he would protect me, swore I could trust him. He was determined to show me, he thought he wouldn’t hurt me. But my life had taught me that that was impossible, that eventually, I would get hurt, that pain was inevitable. I knew that there was only so much trust I was capable of giving. Even with people I loved, I always held something back. Some part of me that guaranteed that when the inevitable happened, I could walk away with a part of me still intact, with a part of me that I hadn’t given away, that was just mine. It was essential to my survival. But Betty and Macy were right. Both of them had said that I don’t need to guard my heart from the people who love me. That I could and should be me and feel safe enough to let go of the fear. And hadn’t I come to that same conclusion? Hadn’t I realized that I was living a half-life because I closed myself off from anything that could hurt me? From feeling too deep? Cal’s words ran through my mind again.

That means you don’t have to protect yourself from me. I will protect you. And I will take on those demons you have inside you.

I swear you do not have to be afraid of me.

“Is this real? Are you real?” I whispered in his chest.

A deep chuckle, which felt really nice with me sitting in his lap.

“Oh yeah, baby, I’m real,” he answered, lifted my head up to his lips, and kissed me on the forehead. I really liked him kissing my forehead.

I took another deep breath and decided to take a chance and let my body melt into him. Because I wanted this chance. I wanted it to be real. I was tired of being alone, of being guarded all the time. Cal was the kind of man that I would have normally stayed away from, the kind it was easy to fall for if you didn’t watch out. With Grant I had known that no matter how good the sex was or how nice he was, I would never fall for him. Cal was different. I didn’t know exactly what made him different, but somehow he was getting to me. Somehow I wanted him to get to me. Cal read my action correctly as me giving in and wrapped his arms around me tight. I hugged him tight right back.