Beneath This Man (56 page)

     ‘Oh?’ The Doctor flicks through my papers. ‘It’s says Miss O’Shea.’

‘We get married next month.’ His eyes drill into mine, daring me to challenge him. I don’t have the energy. I flop my head back gingerly on the bed.

‘Oh, okay,’ Doctor Manvi seems satisfied with Jesse’s explanation of who he is. I’m past caring. ‘We ran some routine tests on your urine.’ He pulls up a chair and it scrapes along the rubber floor, making me wince. ‘When was the date of your last period?’ He looks at me with sympathetic eyes, and I want to crawl across the room and into the clinical waste bin.

‘A week-ish ago.’ I answer quietly to the ceiling. I don’t need to look at Jesse to know he’s twitching.

     ‘Right, well its routine for us to do a pregnancy test to try and establish what caused the blackout episode.’ He pauses, and I brace myself for the hurricane that will be Jesse flying around the room in a complete frenzy. ‘You’re not pregnant.’

My head flies up. ‘I’m not?’

‘Well, I say you’re not, but if it’s only been a week since your period, it may be too early to tell.’ He smiles kindly, but it does nothing to settle me. ‘Do you use the contraceptive pill, Ava?’

‘Yes.’ I virtually squeak.

‘Then I think we can safely say you’re not pregnant.’

Oh God!

‘Ava, it’s important that you try to remember anything of last night, who you spoke to, who you met.’

     Jesse’s animosity travels through our joined hands, attacking me. ‘What?’ he snaps. ‘What are you trying to say?’

I don’t bother with scorning him for his rudeness, and Doctor Manvi continues, turning a blind eye. ‘We proceeded with a further test. Your symptoms prompted it.’

‘Symptoms? What symptoms?’ I ask, completely confused.

     The Doctor inhales and shifts in his chair. ‘We found clear evidence of Rohypnol in your urine.’ he says regretfully.

‘WHAT!’ Jesse roars.

My eyes widen and my heart starts hammering in my chest. As in date rape?  Oh, fucking hell!

Jesse flies up from his sitting position, dropping my hand, and I glace up nervously to find him shaking and sweating, the anger pouring from him. ‘As in date rape?’ he yells at the poor Doctor.

‘Yes.’ Doctor Manvi confirms mine and Jesse’s fears.

I spiral into panic at the doctor’s diagnosis to my blackout episode. Oh, this is so bad.

Jesse flies around and throws his head back. ‘Jesus fucking Christ!’ he cries. I see the back of his shirt rising and falling violently as he braces his arms on a nearby metal unit.

     ‘Ava, I would advise you notify the police. You need to tell them everything you remember.’ He turns to Jesse. ‘Sir, can you confirm whether she was alone at any point?’

     My mind races with the evenings events. I don’t think I was. I watch as Jesse’s fingertips reach for his temples and start circling. He’s going to explode. He’ll be like a whirlwind flying through the hospital. Suddenly, telling him I could be pregnant seems so much more appealing than this.

The doctor looks back at me when he gets no response from Jesse. ‘We need to do an examination to determine whether you were raped.’

‘What?’ I blurt. Oh God!

‘She wasn’t alone,’ Jesse replies, more calmly than I expected. ‘I watched her hit the deck, I was there in a split second.’ He turns to face me, and I stare into his tortured eyes. I feel devoid of any emotion. I think I might be in shock.

‘And you are sure of this?’

‘Yes.’ Jesse all but growls.

‘Sir, I would like to carry out the checks,’ he pushes, ‘for bruises and scratches, initially.’

‘I’ve checked every square inch of her. There isn’t a mark on her.’ Jesse stomps across the room and flings the door open. ‘Kate?’

I hear a brief exchange of abrupt, muffled words from outside the door, no doubt Jesse pressing for answers. The doctor flicks a confused gaze from me to Jesse, while I continue to wrack my brain for something.

He’s by my side again. ‘Baby, Kate said she went for a cigarette, but Tom was with you. Can you remember that?’

‘Yes.’ I answer quickly. I definitely remember that. ‘But Tom went to the toilet while Kate was having a cigarette.’ I add.

‘Okay, do you remember what happened during the time you were on your own?’ he pushes.

‘Yes.’ I won’t tell him why I remember. Holy shit, mentioning Matt would be a grave mistake. ‘Why?’ I ask.

‘Because, Ava, I don’t want anyone poking you about unless they really need to, so please, think hard.’ He squeezes my hands. ‘Before I turned up, were you okay? Do you remember everything?’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘That is good.’ Doctor Manvi interjects. ‘But, Ava, I would be happier if you would consent to the examination.’

‘No! I know nothing happened. I have no bruises, no cuts.’

‘If you are one hundred percent sure, Ava, I can’t force you.’

‘Damn right you can’t fucking force her!’ Jesse hisses.

Oh God, get me out of here. ‘Nothing happened. I remember everything until Jesse arrived.’ I look at Jesse. ‘I remember everything.’ My voice is shaking. I’m shaking.

He slides his palm over me cheek. ‘I know. I believe you.’

‘Okay. All of your vitals are fine.’ Doctor Manvi says. ‘You’ll have a sore head for a while, but other than that, you will make a full recovery. Once I’ve sorted your discharge papers, you can go home.’

‘How long will that take?’ Jesse has reverted back to madman.

‘Sir, we are in the aftermath of a Saturday night in central London. How long is a piece of string?’

‘I’m taking her home now.’ Jesse says with utter finality. I look up at him and know immediately it’s a battle not worth fighting – not if you want to live. Doctor Manvi looks at me, and I nod my acceptance.

He rises from his chair. ‘Okay.’ he practically sighs. He’s not happy. 

I lay back in a complete trance as I watch the Doctor talking to Jesse. I hear nothing. It’s all a muddled garble in the distance. How did this happen? I didn’t once leave my drink unattended. I didn’t accept a drink that was offered. I was careful and sensible. Jesus, what if I had of gone to the toilet a few seconds earlier and missed Jesse at the door? I could have been unconscious and completely unaware of anything going on around me. I could have been raped. I’m attacked by unexpected tears and uncontrollable shakes as I start sobbing in my hands.

     ‘Baby, please don’t cry.’ I feel his warmth engulf me, holding me tight as my body jerks under him. ‘Baby, I’ll get really crazy mad if you cry.’

I sob relentlessly while he comforts me, muttering his own little curses and prayers above my head. ‘I’m so sorry.’ I heave between sobs. I don’t know why I’m sorry, maybe for defying him and going out anyway. I really don’t know, but I feel so remorseful.

‘Ava, please shut up.’ he pleads, holding me tight and stroking my hair soothingly. I’m aware of the frantic clatter of his heartbeat under my ear.

When I’ve finally regained a little control, I wipe away my tears and sniffle. I must look like a tear stained mess. ‘I’m fine,’ I say, taking a few calming breaths and pushing him away, ‘I want to go home.’ I sound like a spoilt brat.

I start to clamber from the bed, but I’m met by the fierceness of a tall, lean, green-eyed wall. He picks me up and starts for the door, meeting Kate on the way. ‘Get her stuff.’ he orders, striding past her.

     ‘What’s going on?’ Sam jumps up from the chair outside the room.

‘She was drugged.’ Jesse states flatly. He doesn’t stop to give any further explanation.

‘Oh shit!’ The horror in Sam’s voice is clear.

I hear Kate’s heels trying to keep up with us. ‘What? Like date rape?’

‘Yes, just like fucking date rape!’ he shouts as he proceeds down the corridor with me in his arms. ‘I’m taking her home.’

We emerge into the morning air, and I squint at the offensive, harsher natural light. I’m lowered into the DBS and secured in my seatbelt. I flinch when the door closes, and then I hear the mumble of voices outside the car. There’s a subtle tap on the window, and when I look, I see Kate giving me the call-me gesture. I nod my acknowledgment and rest my head against the window as Jesse slides in and places my shoes and bag in the foot well. I close my eyes again and drift off.

‘Come here you.’ I open my eyes as Jesse lifts me from his car and carries me through the foyer of
Lusso
.

‘Oh, Mr Ward?’ Clive appears alongside us as Jesse makes his way to the penthouse elevator. ‘Is everything okay?’ He sounds concerned. It’s not unusual for me to be seen carted about by Jesse, so I’m guessing I look terrible, and I know Jesse does too.

‘I’m fine, Clive.’ The elevator doors close, leaving a concerned Clive mystified.

I rest my head against Jesse’s firmness and the next thing I know, I’m being lowered into his huge bed. I’m vaguely aware of my dress being removed and disapproving grumbles coming from Jesse. I roll over when I’m free from my clothes and release a contented exhale of breath when I’m greeted with my most favourite smell in the world; fresh water and mint. I know I’m back where I belong.

Chapter 28

‘Ohhhhhhhhh Goddddddd!’ I stretch out and it is the most satisfying stretch I’ve ever executed.  I feel better, much better. I roll over and find a cool spot. Propping myself up, I crane my neck and gaze around the room to find it empty of any other inhabitants, so I gingerly shift to the edge of the bed and sink my bare feet into the lush cream carpet, bracing myself for an attack of dizziness as I stand, but nothing happens. I feel surprisingly steady. I pad across the bedroom and out onto the landing to see Jesse below, sat back in one of the huge armchairs talking quietly on his mobile. He’s showered and shaved and is wearing some pale blue jeans. He’s naked from the waist up.

I lower myself quietly onto the top step and watch him through the curving glass that leads down to the big open space. He looks fresh but troubled.

‘I don’t know.’ he says quietly, picking at the fabric on the arm of the chair. ‘I swear to God, I’ll claw their fucking eyes out.’ He moves his hand from the arm and rubs his eyes. ‘I’m close, John. I really need it. Fuck, it’s a mess.’

Oh God, am I pushing him towards drink again?

As if he’s heard my silent question, his eyes flick up and find mine. I shift uncomfortably on the top step as he studies me. ‘See what you can find out, John. I won’t be in for a few days…yeah, thanks, big man.’ His phone slides into the centre of his palm, but his hand remains by his ear, his elbow resting on the arm. I feel like a complete intruder.

He sits in his chair and I sit on the top step for the longest time, just staring at each other through the glass. I have no idea what to say to him. He looks like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. Should I go? I know that whoever has spiked my drink has probably made my life a million times more difficult. I wanted to prove that he was being unreasonable with his over-the-top protectiveness, but now I’ve just made it one hundred percent worse. He’s never going to let me out of his sight.

As I’m contemplating my next move, he rises from his chair and starts walking towards the bottom of the stairs. I follow his slow climb up until he’s standing a few steps below me, looking down at me. What is he thinking? His expression is flicking from anger to sorrow, back and forth, and his frown line looks like it’s been set in place for a long, long while.

‘If you are going to shout at me, then I’ll go now.’ I say through the dryness of my throat. I don’t need Mr Neurotic on my case. I just want to forget about it and think myself lucky that it wasn’t worse. It could have been so much worse.

‘I’ve shouted enough.’ he replies, and I detect the hoarseness of his own voice. ‘How do you feel?’

     ‘Fine.’ I rip my eyes away from his magnets and stare down at my bare feet. I’m naked except for my black lacy underwear, and I feel small with him towering over me like this. Uncomfortable.

‘Ish?’ he asks.

‘No, fine.’ I sound stroppy.  

He lowers himself to his knees a couple of steps below me so we’re on a more equal level, but he still looks down at me. He plants his hands on the top step, either side of my body, and I glance up from my feet to look at him.

‘I’m crazy mad, Ava.’ His voice is soft.

‘I wasn’t drunk’. I affirm sharply. Damn it! I wasn’t even remotely drunk.

     ‘I told you not to drink at all. I knew I shouldn’t have let you go out.’

     ‘I’m curious as to why you think you can dictate what I do.’ I challenge bravely. ‘I’m a grown woman. Do you expect me to live a life with you where my every move is controlled?’ My voice is quiet, but firm through my dryness. He has to see my point.

His lips form a straight line and I can hear the cogs start whirling into action. ‘You are mine.’ he grates. ‘It’s my job to keep you safe.’

I drop my eyes on a sigh. Yes, I’m his, but his objectives with regards to keeping me out of harm’s way are too ambitious. ‘You said you were close. Close to what?’ I pull my face up.

     He searches my eyes. He must know that I heard. He looked directly at me after he uttered the words. ‘Nothing.’ he answers.

‘Nothing?’ I can’t help sounding disbelieving. ‘You want a drink, don’t you? That’s what you need to deal with this fucking mess.’

His eyes widen. ‘Will.you.watch.your.fucking.mouth!’ he spells out the words. ‘We’re in this fucking mess because you went out and completely defied me.’ He pushes his face up close to mine. ‘We would not be in this situation if you’d fucking listened to me.’

     ‘I’m sorry!’ I spit angrily. ‘I’m sorry for not listening.’ I stand up, leaving him kneeling on the stairs. ‘I’m sorry if you feel the need to drown in vodka because of me! I’m obviously bad for your health. I’ll put your out of your misery.’ I pivot and stalk into the bedroom, physically shaking with anger. I heard with my own ears his confession to John. If I go he’ll probably have a drink and if I stay he will also probably drink. I’m between the Devil and the deep blue sea. Why can’t he see that it’s his own unreasonable expectations that are pushing him to complete madness, not me.