Beneath The Lies (31 page)

“She tried to kill you and...and it’s all my fault.”

“What? That is not true.” I pull away as Gavin’s eyes continue to follow me. “How can you say that? The only person responsible for Carly is Carly.”

Instead of answering, he reaches out and pulls me tight against his body while he buries his face into the side of my neck. “Fuck, she tried to kill you.”

My accident happened over two months ago, and everyone thought there was at least the possibility that it was Carly, but I guess the confirmation is more than Gavin can handle.

“I’m okay. Carly is behind bars and Callie is safely with us. Everything is...perfect. Let’s focus on that and not on what ifs. Please.”

Gavin pulls back long enough to take my mouth with his. I start to melt into his body when I hear someone behind me clear their throat.

“Sorry, bro, but we need to get down to the lawyer to take care of our statements against Leeta.”

The two of us look over at Tanner, who’s greeting us both with a warm smile. “Are you okay to stay here with Callie until we get back?” Gavin asks while I’m struggling to come back down from the high our kiss created.

“Absolutely. Go take care of everything and enjoy some brother time. Us girls will be here waiting on you when you get home.”

Gavin’s face goes soft and even Tanner looks at me in an admiring way.

“I love you. I’ll be back soon.”

Once they’re gone, I grab my phone and look at the message again. What do I say? Or should I say anything at all?

I don’t like the idea of opening a door, but I don’t think Damian plans to stay out of my life no matter what I do, which is why I reply.

Both Damian and Leeta have evil ways, but apparently how they view their children is very different. I don’t know Damian, I don’t know what he’s capable of, but I know he’s willing to do anything to keep me safe. And so far, that makes him more like Gavin and my father than Leeta.

My mouth turns up in a small smile. I’m not sure why...I’m not sure I’ll ever know why but today proves what my heart already believes. That Damian is a good person. Now I just need to convince Gavin that he doesn’t need to worry...at least not about Damian.

Over the next couple of weeks, I chickened out when it came to talking to Gavin about Damian. The longer I allow it to go on, the worse I’m making it. Not only do I fear Gavin’s anger from me keeping Damian’s visit a secret, but also the fact that since the day Carly was arrested we’ve continued to exchange text.

There’s days when I get the feeling Damian is ensuring his place in my life, and I’d be lying if I said he hasn’t almost earned it. Truthfully, I’ve communicated more with Damian—via text—then I have in any form with Stacy. In the beginning, it felt wrong, like I was betraying my parents, but that’s not the case anymore. Now I look forward to our interactions.

His texts usually cause me to laugh or smile or sometimes both. But with every day that passes I feel like I’m betraying Gavin by keeping this part of my life from him.

The only thing I can say in my defense—which isn’t much—is Callie is always around, and I know when I tell him he’s going to blow up at me, and rightfully so.

Today, however, my last class was canceled and Gavin asked me to go to lunch with him. We’re in public and Callie is not around so...it’s now or never.

After the waiter takes our order, Gavin starts telling me about a new program him and Kiran are working on. The excitement in his voice is clear and I hate that I’m going to ruin his great mood.

“You’re awfully quiet. What’s up?”

I take a deep breath and already he’s bracing for whatever I’m about to say. “I know why Carly was arrested. Why Phil turned her in.” Gavin’s eyes narrow.

“Oookay. Why?” I clear my throat, preparing for his anger.

“Damian is the reason and I don’t know it for a fact, but I believe he’s the reason Leeta was arrested as well.”

Gavin’s jaw clinches as he growls, “How exactly do you know this?”

Oh. Shit.
I look around the crowded restaurant, doing anything I can to delay my next sentence. “Because...he told me.”

Gavin takes a very deep breath. I can see his chest rise and fall as he tries to contain himself. “He told you this?” he repeats while he looks at me the same way he does Carly...with disgust.

“Yes. I came home one day, and he was in our apartment. I didn’t tell you because I was worried about how you’d react.”

Gavin’s eyes are harsh, sending a jolt of guilt through me. “I knew you’d be upset, and I was worried that you’d do something that could get you hurt.”

I watch in horror as Gavin gives me a sinister smile. “That’s rich. You were worried about me getting hurt when you were the one home...alone with a man who runs a fucking drug cartel?” He laughs but it lacks any humor.

“Yes. Within seconds I knew...I knew he wasn’t going to harm me. He seems to have this strange notion that he needs to protect me...protect me like a father protects his child.”

Gavin frowns while shaking his head, like he can’t believe anything I said. “You really believe he’s not going to hurt you? Because I don’t. I don’t believe that for a goddamn second.”

Gavin stands up and throws some money down before placing his hand on the table, leaning toward me. “We promised not to keep shit from each other but what you really meant was you didn’t want me to keep anything from you. You, however, can do whatever the fuck you want, including talking to known criminals behind my back.”

Gavin pushes off the table, still staring at me. His chest is heaving and his jaw continues to tick. He starts to turn away but he stops and looks back at me. “How long? How long have you been in contact with this man?”

My stomach drops when I hear his question. “Before Christmas,” I say with a shaky voice. Gavin’s eyes thin even more.

Christmas was over six weeks ago. “Whatever. I’m outta here,” he adds as he walks away from me and out of the restaurant. I knew he wasn’t going to be happy, but I didn’t expect him to get up and leave me, which makes me nervous about how strong our future really is.

****

Gavin doesn’t call or come home that night, not even with Callie. I’m guessing, and not because he called me, that he’s stayed at Kiran’s. Callie has a play room over there from all of the years that Kiran helped Gavin out, but I won’t allow them to stay there again tonight.

This is Callie’s home and if Gavin is upset enough that he doesn’t want to be around me, then I’ll be the one who leaves. I called Gabby earlier and she told me I could come over and stay at her place with her and Noah. Noah doesn’t officially live there, but he’s there almost every night.

I sent Gavin a text earlier telling him that I left and it was safe for him to come home with Callie, but he didn’t even respond.

“The two of you will be okay. Gavin’s pissed but he won’t be pissed forever,” Gabby says as she flops down in the chair next to me.

Forever...that word held a different meaning not too long ago.

“I’ve never seen him this mad before. Not even with Carly.” I look up in time to see her give me a sad smile.

“He’s worried about you, and for good reason, I might add. How would you feel if he had kept something like this from you?”

“That’s just it, he has kept important things from me when he thought he was protecting me. At first I didn’t tell him because I was worried about what he might do. Then life became crazy dealing first with Leeta then with Carly. The next thing I knew, weeks had gone by.”

“Then tell him that.”

“I would if the asshole would talk to me,” I groan out. I understand why Gavin is mad, and I even agree that he has a right to be, but to ignore me for over twenty-four hours now...that’s just childish.

“I invited Alyssa over tonight but she told me she has plans.”

“Plans?” I repeat with a smile. Since Alyssa has come around to the idea of dating Kyler, I’ve seen very little of her.

“She’s out with Kyler. She still won’t admit that they are dating, but Noah says Kyler is always with her.”

I’m happy that our conversation is moving away from my problems and on to something happier. “That’s great.”

“Yeah, I can tell she’s still scared, but she’s getting there. And Kyler is a great guy.”

“Yes, he is. Hopefully things will work out.” The door opens as Noah walks in and heads straight for Gabby. The two of them curl up in the chair together while I stretch out on the couch to watch a movie.

I close my eyes for what seems like only minutes, but when I open them I look around and see I’m alone, the room is dark, and someone has thrown a blanket over me. On my way to the restroom, I see a clock that says it’s a little after five in the morning. Shit, I didn’t just take a nap. I crashed for the whole night.

Now that I know the time, I feel wide-awake. I sit in Gabby’s living room for a few minutes but all I can hear is the clock ticking. I get up and scribble a note to Gabby telling her I’m heading home. But once I make it outside, I see that that sun is starting to rise.

Being outside reminds me how beautiful life really is. Due to my accident then the cooler temperatures, it’s been a long time since I’ve gone for a run. Instead of heading home, I end up taking a long walk—which is almost as good as a run—through a nearby park. Somewhere along the way, I end up sitting on a bench staring off, wondering exactly how my life got to this point.

I’m brought out of my thoughts when I hear footsteps coming from behind me. I try my best to nonchalantly look over my shoulder to scan the area when I see a very angry looking Damian Paasch standing behind me.

“What? You? I mean...” I stutter out, shocked to see him of all people here.

“What’s going on, Kate? Why aren’t you with Gavin?” he sharply asks me while I’m still trying to process the fact that he’s standing next to me and not in Mexico somewhere running his empire. “Did you two split up?”

“What are you doing here?” I ask, but Damian does not answer, causing me to sigh in defeat. Apparently nothing gets past him and how that’s possible is something I want to address.

“No, we didn’t break up. At least I don’t think so, but he’s mad at me.” Damian remains silent but he takes a seat on the bench next to me. “He’s angry with me about you. He doesn’t like us talking or the fact that I just told him that we’ve been talking for weeks now.”

“Good.” I was expecting Damian to be annoyed at the very minimum, but when he said
good
he almost sounded happy.

“Good?” I repeat.

“Yes. It means he has a good head on his shoulders. I’m the last person on earth a decent man would want around the woman he loves. I know all about his illegal fight club, and I have to say that caused me to worry about him, but the more I find out about Gavin Loman, the more I think he’s fitted for you.”

I’m at a loss for words. For one I love the irony. He runs a drug cartel but was worried about Gavin owning The Hill? If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, I’m not sure what is.

But right now what worries me the most is Damian disappearing from my life, because of the way he’s talking—agreeing with Gavin—sounds a lot like a goodbye. I’ve grown a little attached to our daily text and while I’m not going to admit this to Gavin, I’m not ready to go back to a world where Damian doesn’t exist. Maybe I’m still reeling from the loss of my father, but either way, I’m not ready to let him go.

“Does this mean we’re going to stop talking?” I finally ask after minutes of silence.

“Never.” Again his answer is quick and firm. “I said I understand, not that I was going to retreat from your life. Like it or not we have a connection, and I’m not about to go back to living my life knowing you exist but pretending otherwise. That doesn’t mean I’m going to be a part of your daily life—at least more than I already am. It just means that no one, including you, will keep me away from you.” Damian practically echoed my own thoughts.

Neither one of us says anything as we continue to watch the sun rise. “I’m mesmerized by you, but it’s not fair to you, your boyfriend, or the life you’ll build, for me to demand anything more.

“I’ve...I’ve made choices, Kate, and I have to live with the repercussion of those every single day, so does Belle. I won’t do that to you too.” He sighs. “When I look at you, I see your mother. Her charm, her feisty personality, but I also see a lot of myself. What really stands out is your strength. At twenty you’re already much stronger than either one of us were. Initially...I wanted you to come back with me and take what’s yours, help Belle find her own strengths, but it’s not fair to make another beautiful woman pay the consequences for my lifetime of actions.”