Bellissimo Fortuna (Beautiful Fortune) (22 page)

“He’s not. He’s just hurt.” I can’t believe I’m defending him.

“Spoken like a damn loyal girl still in love with said asshole.” I laugh.

“You know he’s your hero, your best friend.”

“Still an asshole. He still loves you. I can obviously tell you still care, you still put him above yourself.”

I don’t deny my feelings. “Love is the last thing he feels right now.”

“No, love is the last thing he
wants
to feel, and it pisses him off he can’t control it like he does everything else in life. Like I said,
dick
.” She sticks her tongue out at me. Somehow we have reverted back to ten-year olds. “So, tell me something. What did you do there?”

“Pretty much school and took care of Angelo when he arrived.” Her nose scrunches up as she thinks about that scenario. “The last month or so I did work at the elementary school as an aide, they didn’t have any teaching positions open.”

“Wait! You finished your degree?” I nod my head. “Bitch, I still have another semester.”

“Uh, thanks. That’s the joy of having no outside life, being pregnant and spurred on by hatred, depression, and fear. You can really pull of a shit ton of classes and graduate early.” This is the most I opened up to her and I can see her eyes soften as she takes in everything I just said.

“Are you okay?”

“Define okay.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically. He broke my fucking heart,” I tell her honestly. “My own dad did this to me with no regard for how it would turn out. As long as he was going to end up on top it didn’t matter who he stepped on. In one moment, one act of greed, he ruined my life. He changed everything as I knew it, and I have no clue how to begin to pick up the pieces. I have a beautiful son, one created out of love, but he will be robbed of a loving two-parent home. I’m not naïve. I knew when I left I was sealing my own fate, but I guess I didn’t really know how it would feel. Now, I’m back here and it’s all so real, so in my face, and I’m clueless how to get past the feelings I have, deal with the hatred directed at me and all the blame placed on me. I struggled when Angelo was born and I don’t want to go back to that place.”

I hear clapping in the background and turn to see Bronson walking forward clapping. “Bravo. And the award goes to Callie Locati. Poor girl was
forced
away, leaving destruction in her wake, and now she returns home wanting the pity train rolled out and be welcomed back with open arms.”

“Oh my God,” Bianca says next to me. I am speechless and feel like I am going to vomit. This is a whole new level of douchery; one I never thought he would sink to.

“When you decide to stop being a self-centered asshole and decide to listen to me, you know how to reach me. Until then, we can work out a visitation schedule for you and Angelo. I’ll give your mom his schedule and go over things with her because it’s obvious you aren’t mature enough to hold a conversation with me. Remember, you’re a parent now, and this bullshit needs to stop. I get it, you’re hurt, but you aren’t the only one in this situation.” I give Bianca a hug, “You’re right,” I look him in the eye. “Dick.”

I can hear the raised voices behind me and I grip my stomach, willing myself not to get sick. I give Gianna some instructions, leave her with the diaper bag and my phone number, and leave the house. I stand on the front porch for a few moments, not able to walk away. Logically, I know Angelo will be fine, Gianna and Bianca will keep him safe, and I know Bronson won’t let anything happen to him but I’ve been his primary caretaker for so long what if he wants me and I’m not there. When I got my head out of my ass when he was about three months old I swore he would never miss me, never doubt that I was there for him. I’m being an irrational first time mother, I know that, but I struggle to take that first step away from him.

“He’ll be fine, you know that.” Why is Dakota always around when I need a pep talk?

“I do, just being a blubbering mom.”

“That’s allowed. I don’t know how to fix it, Callie. I would say let him work through it but this curve ball changed that direction. He’s angrier than I’ve seen him. He is irrational and lashing out on you.”“Yeah, well I refuse to be a punching bag again. I did that growing up and I won’t let Angelo witness it. He should know that better than anyone, so talk to your friend. Make him see the light because I won’t hesitate to do whatever is needed for that little boy.”

His face pales, “You wouldn’t take him?”

“I don’t know what I’d do until pushed in that direction. I just know he will always come first, and Bronson’s feelings can’t matter to me if there is a chance I could be hurting my son. I came back, never intending to hide him, it’s been less than twelve hours, and I am fucking drained from dealing with his shenanigans. I’ll give him some time to get over himself, but I won’t let his insults and outrage towards me go on forever.” I feel stronger after voicing that. “I’m coming back here in two hours to pick him up, if he’s still in the mood to be an ass make sure he stays away from me.”

“Wow, Callie. I think I just saw a new side of you and I can say, I dig it.”

“You’re such a dork. It’s called being a mom. Just know I never wanted to be Bronson’s enemy in all this.” He nods and gives me a pat on the shoulder. “Hey, what’s up with you and Binks?”

“Another story, girl. A whole lot of shit that we keep getting stuck in.”

“If you’re serious, get a shovel and start hauling manure, lover boy.”

“I hear ya,” he chuckles at me.

“Less talking, more action.”

“I can’t believe it, I actually missed you. You and Binks together are a pair of trouble, but I fucking missed the dynamic and I know she hasn’t been the same since you left.”

“Yeah, I missed you too.” I get in my car and drive to the house I never wanted to lay eyes on again. I don’t go inside, just look at it from the street. If it wasn’t seized in the raid, I’m selling this bitch. Since my mom is ‘incapacitated’ AKA drunk and boozed up, the affairs all fall on my shoulders. How ironic because every decision I am going to make for his remaining empire is going to be done in order to ruin whatever was left, and I’ll do it with a pep in my step and smile on my face.

I drive to the other side of town, the beach side, and walk into the beach rentals office. I worry about finances and a job but I need somewhere to live. It’s not going to be easy to find a job with my last name due to recent events. Before I would have gotten a position out of fear but now I don’t even have that on my side. I want to see Angelo play in the sand, let him bask in the sun; we have had so much darkness in his short life. After a short perusal of what they have available I choose the most inexpensive one bedroom bungalow. We don’t need that much space so I can save some money until we need more room.

Feeling better about my living conditions, the fact it’s furnished and I can have it in two days leaves me with just one major hurdle. It’s still too early to head back to the house so I drive aimlessly around and lose myself in the salt air and music. When ‘Masterpiece’ by Jessie J comes on, I turn it up and let the lyrics wash over me and seep in my soul. I’m not perfect, none of us are, but I am a good person. If he can’t see what’s right in front of his face and overlook his own pain for the greater good of his son then he will miss out. Children are smart and pick up on the smallest nuance and I won’t be the one falling down on parenthood. I’ll have patience, but not a lifetime of it. Bronson Agosto was forced out of my life when the only thing I was sure of was that I loved him.

Now I’m sure of myself, I’ve survived the worst life has thrown at me, fucking flourished when it came to taking care and protecting my son and I’ll be damned if he tries to rip all my work apart. Amazing what some kick ass girl power lyrics can do to your outlook on what was staring at me all along. Everything my father and this life tried to rip from me I’m taking it all back and cementing my future. Love may be worth it, but you can’t allow it to compromise your well-being. Love may conquer all, but if the person you love doesn’t want to climb those uphill battles with you, then it’s not worth it. You can open your heart, bleed out and offer them your life, but until they are willing to sew up the gash you are bleeding out of and mend the past scars, it’s just another step in life, not the merging of two paths.

Chapter 27

Bronson

She’s been home for two weeks now and this is the first time I’m taking Angelo to her. She has been doing all the work of dropping him off at my mom’s house, and I spend as much time over there in between work. He is truly amazing, and my mom is constantly commenting on how much like me he is. Today she shooed me out with an address and told me to work a schedule out with the mother of my child and leave her out of it. She did mention she might be keeping him during the day if Callie gets a teaching position. So she did finish school. Did I mention in the two weeks I haven’t spoken three words to her since that first day?

As Bianca says, I’m a dick. Dakota has used more colorful descriptions to describe my actions but they don’t get it. Her dad may have set in motion for the events to happen but she went along with his plans. No matter what she says, it will never change that in my mind. Maybe I’m worried she could change that if I listen to her and it will open up all the painful memories I pushed down. I’ve transposed pain for anger and right now it’s working out. Until I hear Angelo in the back babbling, and this time it’s “Ma-ma-ma-ma.” Yep, we have a lifetime of decisions and a bond to keep us in communication with this little guy, so maybe I can try a little harder.

I pull up to a tiny bungalow and immediately wonder how she is living here. I’m no snob but this is more like a shack and how is Angelo going to have the room for all his toys? Of course my mom’s living room now resembles the showroom floor of a baby superstore so I imagine Callie’s looks the same. I’m going to have to order some things for my condo because as soon as I can have him for weekends I’ll need the items. The commute is killing me every few days so we need to work something else out. As I’m unbuckling him from the car seat, I hear her laughter and the screen door open. When I hear a male voice, I tense. I look over my shoulder and see that smile on her face and some guy staring at her like he wants to eat her up. “Tomorrow at two?” he asks her.

“That works. See you then.”

He gets into a pick-up truck and I wish I could have gotten his tag number. I march up to her and she immediately reaches out her hands for the squirming baby in my arms. He loves his mom, that’s for sure. I watch as she places kisses all over his face and he reaches for her hair. “I wasn’t expecting you to bring him home. Is everything okay?”

“I bet you weren’t.” I should have kept my mouth shut by the way she looks at me. She turns and places him in his playpen on the porch and directs me out of earshot.

“Problem?”

“Nope, just next time you are entertaining have them gone before my son gets here.”

“Wow. Entertaining? You make me sound like talking to the maintenance man about the refrigerator not making ice sound like I’m a high price hooker.” Shit.

“You live here?”

“It is where you dropped our child off to me.”

“What I meant isn’t it a little small for both of you?”

“It’s small but until I get a job it’s all I can handle. I refuse to use any more money of my father’s, and raising a kid isn’t cheap. It’s safe and in a good neighborhood.”

This is what my mom meant by talking to her. I have not a clue what it takes to raise a child and haven’t offered her any help. “Do you need money?”

“No, Bronson. I was just answering your questions.” She sighs and for the first time since she has been home, I study her face. She is pale and light purple bags rim her eyes. She’s fucking exhausted, and I’m constantly fighting her every time I turn around.

“I can help. Get you a nicer place, I’m sure I owe you child support.” She bristles.

“I don’t need you to get me a nice place. Our home is fine, sorry if it’s not up to your standards. And Angelo is not a support check. I just need you to be a dad.”

“What’s your problem? I’m just trying to help.”

“Is that what you call it? You don’t speak to me for two weeks, no interaction what so ever. I take our child to your mom’s for you to see him because you can’t be bothered to work something out with me, then you show up and insinuate I’m a whore. You pick apart the home I’m trying to create for our child, and then offer to “fix” things for me with money. I have no clue why I’m taking offense to any of that.”

“I can see this was a mistake.”

“Which part? You not removing the chip off your shoulder or all the other things I listed? I’m confused here in what you want.”

“I get it. I’ve bruised your ego and ignored you. You weren’t able to come in here and bat your eyelashes and play damsel in distress and have me on my knees begging you to come back to me. So now that we’ve cleared up that isn’t happening, why don’t we try this parenting thing?”

“Okay, Bronson. What would you like? Do you want set days? Every other weekend? Where are you actually living these days? Do you have any idea what formula I use? Do you know what foods he is eating? What diapers he uses?” I don’t have a response for any of that. “Oh, I thought we were trying this parenting thing. Let me clear it up. He is on very little formula because when he turns one we need to wean him to cow’s milk, he is eating fruits and vegetables in rice cereal and very little meats. I wanted to plan a party for his first birthday, which by the way is in eleven days, and I use the store brand.”