Being Jolene (3 page)

I was thinking too much. Damnit, runs were meant to help me clear my mind. That was why I never listened to music when I ran, but only took in the quiet of nature and the sound of my feet against the trail. A steady beat that kept me going. I rounded the corner and pushed myself up the last hill. It was always brutal but one of the reasons why I was fond of this route. It was a little bit out of the way, but challenging enough to keep me on my toes. I hit the top of the hill and started to coast down, trying to control my speed so I didn’t hit a rock and roll the rest of the way down instead. As the head of the trail came into view I slowed down and came to a stop, working towards steadying my breathing.

By the clearing there was an A-frame cabin that was usually rented out for the summer by the local lodge in Gypsum. It was their most secluded cabin but I knew summer after summer here, it rarely got rented due to location and size. Since they hadn’t opened yet, I was surprised to see a dark haired woman sitting on the back porch.

Even more surprised to see it was the girl from the bar.

Fuck.

I was sweating, out of breath and here was this siren of a woman sitting serenely on a porch with a cup of tea in her hand and a pad of paper on her lap, a pencil in her left hand moving vigorously over the paper.

She was focused on whatever it was she was writing, not paying attention at all at anything going on around her. It gave me an out, one where I could walk away and she would never notice me. The embarrassment of last night would blow away with the wind. I shouldn’t have just had sex with her. I should have asked for her name and I should have been sober. I didn’t treat her right. I could walk away and she wouldn’t know anything different.

Instead, I coughed to get her attention, to make this situation right because even if it was awkward as hell, I needed to fix this. And honestly, I wanted her damn name. A part of me wanted more, as crazy as it sounded.

A name, a number, something because when I saw her strutting out of Caleb’s room and then again in the bar, here in one of the smallest towns in Idaho, I knew I could turn a coincidence into an opportunity. It had been a long time since I had wanted an opportunity with a woman. A chance, that was all.

She didn’t look up, though. I took a few steps towards the porch and said, “Hey,” which made her jump, dropping her pencil. She reached down and grabbed her pencil and then looked up to see who had called out in greeting. When her head moved up and her eyes sought mine, I saw a range of emotions filter through before she quickly hid them behind her gorgeous face. Shock followed by the tinniest bit of guilt and then nothing. It was obvious she knew who I was. At least I was somewhat unforgettable, but the look on her face had me taking in a large breath, brewing up my courage. I didn’t take that as a good sign so before she could speak I quickly said, “I wanted to apologize for last night.”

This time she didn’t hide the shock on her face. “Seriously?” she gaped at me.

I shrugged. “It wasn’t right of me. I shouldn’t have been drinking and you deserved better than that.”

“I . . . I . . . um.” She took a small sip of her tea, looking everywhere except at me. Her gaze went down to her cup. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy apologize for sex before. This is a first.” Her head lifted and here eyes finally met mine.

I gestured to the seat next to her. “Can I sit?”

She shook her head in disbelief. “Why not? Let’s see how more weird we can make this.”

I took a seat and leaned on my knees, looking over at her.

Whoever she was.

Her dark hair tumbled down her back in thick waves and her dark chocolate eyes were free of makeup, her natural beauty shining through. “What’s your name?” I asked softly, because then maybe she would respond the same way and her name would only be mine to hear, mine to know, like she was a secret treasure and it was my lucky day when I stumbled over it.

“Jo. Jolene Hayes. And you’re Ty, which is not short for anything.”

I grimaced, remembering seeing her the first time in Caleb’s apartment. “I lied about that. My full name is Tyrell, but I hate it. I much rather go by Ty, so I don’t even bother telling people anything different.”

She smirked. “You lied to me and apologized for bad sex. I’m at a loss of words.”

I borrowed my brows. “Bad sex, huh?”

She didn’t even flinch. “Whoops. I guess you didn’t say that. I did.”

Awesome. Not only had I had a one-night stand with her, but it was bad sex. I only sighed at the mess I had made.

She looked at me, tapping her pencil against the pad of paper. I glanced over to see she wasn’t writing but rather drawing. A face, but in a very abstract way, everything blurring together. She pulled the pad closer to her blocking her drawing. “Would you like some water, you busted through the trail out of breath and quite sweaty.”

“Taking pity on me? You know, for the bad sex?”

She laughed as she got up and my god, it was a sexy sound. One I wanted to hear over and over again.
Dammit, Ty, you needed to clear your head because the chances you have with Jolene had been small before you even started and so far you’re sinking.

Jolene sat down the bottle of water and I drank the whole thing in less than thirty seconds, not knowing how thirsty I was, but I had pushed myself on that run. Then came silence, really fucking awkward silence. The only sound was her constant light tapping with her pencil. I wondered if it was a nervous tick, a give of hers.

As the silence waned on, I knew I wanted to see her again. In a town this small, I probably would but I was at a loss of what to say because I felt like I had already screwed everything up. I stood, clenching the empty plastic bottle in my hand. “Thanks for the water, Jolene.” She nodded her head, tapping faster. “I should go but I just wanted to say . . . yeah know . . . sorry and everything. I hope to see you around.”

After that stuttering statement, I walked off the porch and didn’t look back, trying to save face. It pained me to leave her, but the situation seemed to be dismal, I would only do more damage if I kept talking.

“Hey.” I heard behind me, her voice attacking my senses. I turned around. She sat there, the pencil still in her hand, but it had stopped moving.

“Yeah,” I answered back.

She opened her mouth and paused, but then she was biting bottom lip, her eyes flittering.

“Glad to know you got home safe.” She said. I felt like she wanted to say more, but was holding back. I knew I was doing the same thing. There was something there, something we weren’t addressing. I only nodded and turned back around, leaving her to sit on the porch, by herself. But I had a feeling that wouldn’t always be the case.

I was usually pretty confident around woman, though not like there were many, but I had some game. At least I thought I did but once I invited Jolene over for a drink last night, I lost all game. It was bad enough I felt like I was scoring for the other team. I walked the short trail between the cabin and the station. Most all the land in this area was federally owned and it didn’t take me long to find myself back at the station.

I saw Paul walking towards the truck we used for work and he waved his hand in greeting. “How was the run?” he asked as I came up to him.

I told him the truth. “Awful.”

“Come across a bear or something?”

No, only a beautiful woman. I sighed, putting my hands on my hips. “Not a bear, a woman.”

Paul stopped with his hand on the open truck door, glancing over at me. “Find a damsel in distress on your run? How would that be a bad thing?”

Nothing about Jolene said damsel in distress. Actually, it seemed the opposite. Even from the few times I had talked to her, she seemed to be independent, a girl who never asked for help.

“You know that girl from the bar last night?”

Paul nodded his head and said, “Yeah the brunette from the city? I saw you two sneak out.”

“I had sex with her. Against the wall of the bar.”

Paul barked in laughter. “Holy shit, Ty. I was not expecting that from you. Way to go.” He put his hand in the air for a high five but I stood there, not reciprocating.

“No? Not a high five? Alright, man. So you found her on the trail? That’s strange.”

“She’s living in the lodge’s A-frame I think.”

“Oh, yeah. Jolene, right? She’s the lodge’s new front of house manager.”

“How did you know that?”

“I’m sleeping with Elizabeth. She told me about Jolene.”

“And how is dear Lizzy,” I asked, sarcasm blatant in my tone.

“
Elizabeth
is fine. Thank you very much.”

I held my tongue, but when it came down to it, Elizabeth was not the most pleasant person. She came here every summer trying to find a new guy at the station to sleep with. I had already shut her down the summer before. Paul would figure out soon enough how vile she was.

“Good luck with that.”

“I’m enjoying myself so far. Now tell me about this Jolene and why she ruined your run.”

I gave him a brief run down of the talk we had and Paul only cringed when I got done.

“She actually called you out on the bad sex. Wow. She has some balls. Were you drunk?”

“Yeah, I was pretty toasted. I ended up sleeping in my truck. I don’t even know what happened afterwards or where she went.”

“Dude.”

“I know.” Fuck. I knew. I knew this was not typical of me. I couldn’t even believe it.

I hit the top of the truck with my fist, pissed at myself.

“Hey, don’t take it out on my baby. She didn’t do anything to you. Sounds like you didn’t really do anything for Jolene either.” Paul laughed at his own stupid ass joke.

“Fuck you, Paul.”

He just continued to laugh at me as he got in the truck and got to work. That left me standing there nowhere closer to knowing what to do about Jolene. Fuck.

CHAPTER THREE

Jolene

“I was walking out to the spring to get water, when a black bear peaked around the trees. A majestic sight, one I never saw in the city. The woods held hidden treasures at every turn.”–From the diary of Maggie Brown, June 1891

That was strange. That was beyond strange. Did the guy I sleep with really bust through the woods, all hot and sweaty and then apologize for sleeping me with last night?

The fuck did I get myself into. Was this how things were done out here in the woods? I took myself into the small cabin and poured the last of my tea down the sink, washing out the cup and still trying to make sense of what went down.

It wasn’t the first time I had bad sex and I enjoyed hanging out with Ty at the bar. Really, it wasn’t the worst sex. It was only a drunken hookup—I had many before. Maybe I had been too cruel in calling out the bad sex. I had a few drinks, but I was still mostly sober by the time we were . . . done, I guess. Last night came back to me, as I remembered how he held me by the waist, a strong hold and then gave me a surprisingly sweet kiss before I walked away. As I sat in my car, I watched him slightly stumble to his truck, worried he would drive home in his state. When I sat there for a few minutes and his truck didn’t move I got out of my car to check on him, only to find him asleep on the bench seat of his truck. That was probably the safest place for him. I then drove home and more or less, wrote off the night. The concept of a one-night stand wasn’t new to me. Wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last.

However, I was not familiar with apologies from them. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the incident. I put the whole situation in the back of my mind as I got ready for my first day of work.

When I got to the lodge, I had in front of me the small staff of servers. June had given me the low down on a few of them who came back each season but a few were new as well. I had six servers this summer, including myself when needed.

After a brief team meeting where I went over basic expectations for the summer, the servers started work on getting the dinning room ready while I worked on the schedule. It was Thursday and we opened for dinner service the next day. I made the final touches to the schedule when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find one of the girls, Elizabeth I think her name was, staring at me with her perky blonde hair in a high ponytail. I wanted the girls to put their hair up, but damn she looked like would fit right in on her old high school cheerleading team.

“Yes?” I asked her.

She smiled. A fake smile you could see miles away. “Wanted to make sure you were settling in. The cabin you’re staying in can get pretty creepy out there by itself. I heard there is this huge bear that likes to sniff around there so be on the lookout.”

Ummm . . . okay. Was this chick serious? Was she trying to scare me? With bears? Huh.

“I’m fine. Thanks.” This was a chick you didn’t want to talk to more than necessary because anything you gave her she would use against you. Nope, wasn’t falling for that shit.

“Have you met anyone yet?” She tried to pry from me.

My mind immediately went to Ty, specifically the image of us against the side of the bar.

“Nope.” Single word answers where best in this situation.

“Oh. Well, make sure to meet the locals. The boys at the ranger station are dreamy. I’ve already made my claim for the season but you never know . . .”

Okay. I didn’t say anything and tried to ignore her. She could keep her “claim.” I didn’t give two shits who she was sleeping with, she just didn’t need to include me in whatever she was trying to do.

Elizabeth must’ve gotten the point because she walked off. Strange. Each day made me ask why in the world did I seclude myself in this part of the country.

***

For the next three mornings I sat on my porch in the mid morning, not having to go into work till night. I was
not
sitting there because I was hoping that the very sexy Ty, hot and sweaty from a run, would drop in again from the trail. Nope. Not at all. Because you know, the bad sex and all.

And yet . . . I would be lying if he hadn’t crossed my mind once or twice in the last few days.

I looked down at the sketch in my hand. It was crap. I was in a funk, not having any inspiration lately. Which didn’t make sense at all, because while secluded, I was in one of the most beautiful parts of the country. I should have been flooded with inspiration, but alas I found myself with shitty sketches of empty faces. I sat down the pad of paper and picked up the journal my dad had given me before I left. The cover was worn leather, scuffed up and the yellowed pages were falling out. I flipped through the old pages but I hadn’t actually read any of it yet. I didn’t know why, apparently this was a look into my past, a diary of my great grandmother. I had spent most of my life with just my Dad, so it was hard to understand that I had “family,” even if they were long gone. I remembered what my Dad had said when I had stopped by his place before I left . . .