Being Celeste (20 page)

I was really out of it, afterwards. I went
to my room for a little breather and didn’t come out until the morning. But
something amazing happened. I know I should be all soppy and depressed about my
social life being potentially over. I mean there’s no better way of looking at
things. I’ve lost my best friend, and now looking back, I kind of regret that.
Actually, I regret it a lot. I wish I had never fought with her. I miss Kate. I
was stood up by two good looking boys, something that was possibly my fault,
because I lied. But then I thought about it, a whole lot and it’s not the end
of the world, really. There are some people out there in the world going
through deeper shit than mine. People who feel like the stuff
in
the
shit, actually; and I’m better off. I should be thankful for what I have and
work with it, instead of fretting over things that are not that important.
That’s not it, though, the reason I feel so high up in the sky again. I finally
figured out what I’m going to do with my life and it’s fantastic. It came just
at the same time as my reassurance. I’m going to be a fashion designer and
stylist, yes! Last night, while I was lying in bed, in the dark, I got this
sudden urge to draw. So I got out a sketch pad and I started drawing out an
outfit. I used to draw models on the runway when I was little, but the hobby
was left behind with the years. So it’s like the only thing I can draw, models
on the runway. I wish I could feel inspired and grab a paint brush instead, but
that’s all I could come up with; a good looking body wearing an incredible
outfit. It was like a light bulb, just switching on. I thought I had no
direction, living in a dark tunnel, without knowing where it was leading to,
and then the lights went on. If two boys want to stand me up, well it’s their
problem because they don’t know what they’re missing out on. I am fucking
fantastic, and I’m going to be a fashion designer and stylist. I’m sure people
like Naledi will be pleased with my decision. The only problem now is telling
my parents. I’m sure they are going to try and bring me down. Who has ever
heard of successful fashion gurus in this country? I sure haven’t.

I hadn’t seen the boys at the gym in the
morning, probably hiding from me. Jerks! Why can’t they be men and face the
music. I’m not going to bitch about being stood up, in fact no one will ever
know about it. I saw Steve and Trevor, talking at the reception and laughing.
The laughing got so out of hand that for a moment, I wanted to think that they
were laughing at me. But the truth is they weren’t laughing at me and I wasn’t
going to let my paranoia get the best of me. But it’s kind of hard not to feel
at my lowest every now and then, feel like I’m the joke of the town.

I’ve decided to reconcile with Kate. I
can’t live without my best friend by my side, whether she’s in a different
continent or not. Now I realise that
I
was being selfish and I need to
make up with her before it’s too late. Kate and I are practically sisters and I
let my jealousy get the better of me. I feel like an idiot. The truth is, after
finding direction, I can see clearly now. The reason why I was so angry at Kate
is because part of me, felt a little jealous that she had found something she
was going to do with her life, something that I’ve wanted to have, hence my
jealousy to my older sister. I tried to control her into giving up something
she loved, just because it didn’t suit me and for that, I deserved a
worst
friend of the year
award. I realised it and I accepted it. I was at the
shop, just playing with the idea in my head:
to call or not to call?

Her number was still on speed dial, so I
dialled the number 8 on my cellphone and called her. Her phone was
ringing...really. I could hear her ringtone playing in the distance. I have it
bad, don’t I? I looked up, startled by the coincidence.

“Hi Celeste.”

It was Kate! Talk about ‘speak of the
devil’. It was Kate, in the store...standing there among other customers. I
didn’t say anything to her, as I was too excited to speak. But I didn’t see her
enter the store. This goes to show that I haven’t been fit to run the boutique,
because my thoughts have taken over my life. Someone could walk out with a
piece of clothing and I wouldn’t notice, that’s if that hasn’t already
happened.

“Celeste, I’m sorry about breaking our
pact,” she said.

It was quite unexpected, she just showed up
out of nowhere. It was probably our telepathy thing that brought her over. She
knew I was hurting over our fight and she knew that we had to fix things, just
as I did. Then I tried to call her at the exact same time that she walked into
the store. That’s true friendship, right there. I rushed over to her and we
hugged.

“I’m so sorry Kate, I’ve been so horrible
to you.” I couldn’t keep back the tears, they just came out forcefully. Kate
started to cry too.

“No, I was the horrible friend,” she
replied, choking from her crying.

Okay, we were both horrible friends to one
another. I hoped that this was lesson to the both of us.

“I want you to know that I’m happy for you,
Kate. In fact, I am proud of you and excited.”

“Really?” she smiled beyond the limit.

“Really. And you know, since I’m going to
be a fashion designer, it’s probably best that I have a supermodel on speed
dial, to come and model my clothes.”

“A fashion designer? No way, Celeste!”

We started jumping up and down, still
holding hands and shrieking like never before. I think the customers in the
boutique thought we were a couple of mental cases, but they should be used to
us by now.

“When?” asked Kate.

“Last night. I’d say it just happened
really. The thought just came to me spontaneously and I knew it.”

“I guess it all worked out in the end. We
found something we both love, that’s in the same industry. Where are you going
to school?”

“I really want to go to New York with you,
I haven’t decided yet. We probably can’t afford it, but if so, then I’ll settle
for a school in South Africa.”

We started doing our victory dance. This
was the feeling I had been searching for all my life. Happiness, guilt free
happiness!

I had accomplished a lot thus far. I feel
more confident with myself, my image and my friendship with Kate.

“So when are you leaving?” I asked.

“Next week Monday I’ll be boarding my
plane. You have to be there.”

“Of course I’m going to be there.”

I ordered Kate to get back to work, since
she had like a week left in Palapye. I had no idea how I was going to manage
the shop by myself. Getting a new employee is going to suck, teaching them the
ways and all. Plus, it won’t be Kate. I better get my application out there so
that I don’t have to work at the shop for long.

We went out to grab some lunch. I was still
a vegetarian. Walking to the supermarket and back, gave me time to explain to
Kate what had happened to me in the past few days...well, because she asked. I
had missed talking to her and telling her
everything
. She has reassured
me that we will video chat every single day, or whenever she can, once she’s
settled in America. Although it won’t be the same, with her far away and all,
it’s better than no Kate at all. She was stunned by how I had been treated by
the boys, she even spit on the ground. Okay, I thought she was maybe
overreacting a little bit, but I just kept it to myself. I know I promised that
I wouldn’t tell anyone about my first date mishaps, but I can’t help but tell
Kate everything that happens to me, even if we weren’t on speaking terms the
previous day.

When we got back to the shop, we found
Thabang, waiting at the doors of the boutique. My heart jumped and I suddenly
felt so nervous. What did
he
want? I had no idea what I was going to say
to him. Something I hate is a confrontation, especially when I had no idea
where the problem came from. He was just standing there, all perfect and
handsome, and I saw the guy I liked as opposed to the one who stood me up.

“Can we talk, Celeste?” he said when we
approached him. I wonder how he knew that we went out for lunch, and that the
shop wasn’t closed for the day. He must appreciate his lucky marbles.

I was beyond the valley of hurt, and now I
was just bitter. “No, that’s okay. I don’t want to talk to you,” I said,
reaching for the shop keys in my pocket. Kate was standing next to me like a
bodyguard.

He grabbed my arm and said: “Please, you
have to let me explain what happened yesterday.”

His last action almost made me drop my
food. Almost! (lucky for him). I don’t get why he likes pulling me. It’s
so...wrong...but I like it.

I retreated. “Okay, explain.”

I stood there, staring at him. He looked at
Kate, wondering if Kate would go into the shop and leave us to talk in private,
but Kate just stood there as well, looking at him like he was the scum of the
earth.

“I didn’t mean to stand you up yesterday,”
he began, leaning against the shop window. “This is really hard for me to confess,
but I have to be honest with you. My cousin and I had a bet, you see.”

“A bet?” asked Kate, butting in. This
resulted in Thabang giving her another look telling her to leave, but Kate just
stood there next to me. My best friend!

“He wanted to see if we could land the same
girl at the gym. At first I thought it was stupid, but then he dared me. So I
thought, why not, we will be gone in a few weeks anyway. So he saw you at the
bikes and we decided that you’d be the culprit.”

That arsehole! Both of them! And here I
was, blaming myself, thinking that they stood me up because I lied. They placed
a bet on me? That’s just sick. I wanted him to stop explaining and leave.

“But then I actually started to like you.
That first day when I came up close to talk to you, I thought you were so
beautiful. Then we talked about our favourite music, and I just don’t know what
it was about you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, even though this was a
bet.” He paused and walked up to me. “When I asked you out the other day, I
genuinely meant it. But then my cousin said some things that messed with my
head and I decided not to come to our date. I’m so sorry, Celeste,” he said.

What? I guess he expects me to believe the
bullshit coming out of his mouth. He said I’m beautiful...I guess
that’s
not bullshit. And he said he liked me. There’s no denying that there’s some
chemistry between us...then again, I’ve seen this movie before. This is
definitely a dream.

He continued. “I know that what we did was
terrible, but before you say anything, just know how deeply sorry I am for
playing with your feelings like that. But also know that this whole time I
wasn’t acting, it was me, genuinely.”

“Okay, you’ve explained. You can go now,” I
said, all glacial and unforgiving.

He looked at me, searching for hope in my
eyes, but I looked away and entered the shop. Kate followed behind me. I didn’t
know what to think or how to feel. I just felt numb to everything I had just
heard. So these two boys decide to use me for their bet and one of them falls
for me. Big whoop!

I didn’t have much time to think about it
though, because after I placed my plastic carrier with good food inside it on
the counter, my arm was grabbed from behind and I was dragged away from the
counter. It was Thabang (there he goes again, grabbing me). It was sort of
dramatically synchronised. I think I almost tripped, but he made sure I didn’t
take a bite of the ground. Oh, he’s so strong.

“What are you doing?” I asked, furious
about being dragged against my free will. Well maybe not furious, annoyed.

“This,” he said. He leaned over to me and
softly placed his lips on mine. He had his eyes closed and everything. I
noticed this because mine were wide open, witnessing the miracle. What is he
doing, I’m angry here, and he shouldn’t be kissing me against my will. (Oh be
quiet!). I don’t think there were any thoughts in my mind after that. My heart
was racing faster than before, I even felt a little light headed. When I tried
to recover from that, he kissed me again. That’s when my head started to become
populated with all kinds of things. I wondered if I was doing it right,
kissing. I think my lips were just there, waiting to receive, not giving out
anything, just waiting to imitate. How was I supposed to know what to do? I
closed my eyes though, until I felt the warmth and pressure I got from his
lips, leave mine. It was incredible. I’m not sure that it was
Stairway to
Heaven
incredible, I couldn’t tell. I was too busy, drowning in the moment.
This was just like in the movies. I felt like a curse was being lifted and
suddenly, my vision was more clear and all. It’s like that scene in the
Wizard
of Oz
when the picture goes from black and white, to coloured. Thabang was
smiling and looking at me all weird and in love.

I wanted to see Kate’s reaction, but I
didn’t want to look back.

“I’ll pick you up after work,” said
Thabang, squeezing my hand all affectionately and stuff.

Then he left, he didn’t even give me time
to respond. Not that I would have. I was permanently glued to the ground until
he left, and my lips were still recovering from their first kiss. They still
felt the impact. I turned and went back to where Kate was. I tried to ignore
the incredibly wide grin on her face, but I couldn’t. I started to scream and
she
started to scream; cue in the victory dance. Yes, yes, yes! Success!