Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives) (33 page)

Mr Connor waved a hand in Corey’s direction. “He caused our son to end up like this, and you did too. You were too soft on Corey, letting him get away with too much, and hiding it all from me like I didn’t have a right to know what my own child wuz gettin’ up to.”

“I did no such thing! You chose to ignore who Corey was. And don’t put this on Sledge either, cos he wasn’t even at the accident; Corey was with someone else. The boy’s father attacked Corey cos of it.”

Mr Connor’s brows pulled together. “What?”

“The police took this kid in for questioning. He claims to be Corey’s boyfriend.”

“But
he’s
Corey’s boyfriend,” Mr Connor said, indicating towards Sledge.

“No, he’s his friend.”

Mr Connor looked confused. “But Corey said he loves Sledge.”

“I’m not gay,” Sledge said, feeling ashamed, because right now he wasn’t sure if he was or not. But he didn’t want the man chucking him out, and was willing to say and do anything he could to stay. “I didn’t even know Corey wuz gay until yesterday. He only went with Tyler last night, and just before he wuz with my sister.”

Mr Connor appeared shocked. “Your sister?” His eyes widened, then he swore. “So, I wuz half right, he does love you, but you don’t return it?”

“I love him as a mate.” Sledge glanced over at Corey, knowing that was a lie.

Mr Connor breathed out. “I guess I owe you an apology then, but Corey led me to believe you were boyfriends.”

“He wanted to be, but...”
I was a fool who should’ve said yes, but
“I didn’t,”
though I would in a heartbeat now.
Sledge looked back at Corey.
Please wake up.

“Yes, yes, that’s understandable,” Mr Connor said.

Sledge looked back at Mr Connor, wondering about the word ‘understandable.’ He didn’t think it was, considering how
he
had kissed Corey, not the other way round. Yeah, Corey was being aggressive, but he could’ve walked away, and not given into his desire. His eyes lowered to Corey’s lips. They were split, probably from being punched. God, he wanted to rip Deano Jones apart. Sledge’s face hardened. He didn’t care if the police had the man, he would find a way to get at him no matter what.

Mr Connor’s voice broke through Sledge’s thoughts. “I’m goin’ to talk to a nurse. You can stay as long as you like.”

Sledge nodded, not willing to say thank you, the man’s about-face making him want to punch him. Mr Connor didn’t give a shit he loved Corey; all that was important to the bastard was his fucking sexual orientation.

Mr Connor left with his wife following him, mumbling something about Photoshop.

Sledge took Corey’s hand. “No wonder you wanted to move out. Your dad’s a Grade-A arsehole.” He squeezed Corey’s hand and smiled sadly. “So, I’m a fag now am I? Well, not so sure ’bout that, cos I have no fuckin’ clue what I am.”

“You are gay,” a croaky voice answered him.

Sledge sat up straight. “Corey?”

Corey opened his eyes. “Am I in hell? I feel like it.”

Sledge smiled, his heart pounding fast. “You’re in the hospital.”

“You’re hurting my hand.”

Sledge let go, not realising he was squeezing it.

“What happened?” Corey said, moving his gaze to Sledge.

“You were bashed by Tyler’s father and ran out in front of a cop car.”

Recognition flickered across Corey’s face, then he closed his eyes, a tear escaping from the swollen one.

Sledge leaned over and wiped it. “Don’t cry, you’re gonna be alright. And I’ll get that bastard. He won’t come anywhere near you again, babe.”

Corey opened his eyes and looked at Sledge. “Babe?”

Sledge’s mouth went dry, realising what he’d said.

“You called me
babe
.”

“I meant
mate
.” He smiled. “But it doesn’t matter,”
cos you’re alive, and if anything, the word fits.

“It does matter, and I thought we weren’t mates anymore. You said you never wanted to see my faggot arse again.”

“I’m sorry, I wuz angry.”

Corey closed his eyes again. “Just go away, Sledge. I wanna be alone.”

“Look, you know I didn’t mean it. Fuck, man, I love you, you’ve gotta know that.”

“You don’t love me like I want you to.”

“But I do.”

“No, you don’t, and I don’t want you here unless you admit you felt sumpthin’ for me earlier. And I mean sexually.”

“I—”

Corey cut him off before Sledge could admit it. “You got hard when we kissed, and you’re the one who kissed me, yet you backed up like I wuzn’t worth your time, cos I don’t have tits and a pussy.”

“I—”

Corey cut him off again, his heart rate monitor beeping too fast. “You keep denying things. Well, until you stop being a weak bastard who hides behind names, you can fuck off. I’m sick of gay bashing pricks, putting me down just cos I’m me!”

“I’m not putting you down and I would never hit you, and I wuzn’t denying—”

“Go away!”

“No, Corey, I wanna stay,
please
, you’ve got things wrong.”

“No, I
had
things wrong before. I shouldn’t love you, cos you’re a selfish prick who only cares ’bout one person—
yourself
. Tyler’s the only one who cares ’bout me.”

“Tyler’s father caused all of this, I didn’t.”

“That wuzn’t Tyler’s fault, he tried to stop his father, tried to protect me, when all you did wuz call me names and leave.”

“I didn’t mean to, and I would’ve protected you—”

“Liar! Go away!”

“I’m not lying, I love you.”

Footsteps entered the room then the curtain was pulled back. A nurse rushed to check the monitor while a doctor went to the other side, asking Sledge to move. Sledge shifted behind the doctor as Corey’s parents crowded around the bed, Mrs Connor’s voice ecstatic that Corey was conscious.

Sledge went to move back up the bed.

Corey’s swollen gaze followed him. “Go away, Sledge.”

“But I wanna stay.”

“Go away!”

Sledge jumped. “Don’t Corey, please don’t.”

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you...” Corey’s monitor started going crazy as he worked himself up more.

Mrs Connor grabbed Sledge’s hand and pulled at him. “Come with me.”

Sledge turned and followed Mrs Connor into the corridor, allowing himself to get directed to a seat. He sat down and covered his face as she bobbed down in front of him.

“What happened, Sledge?”

Sledge shook his head.

Mrs Connor squeezed his arm. “Corey didn’t mean that, he’s just upset. You two will make up, I know it. He loves you; he’ll forgive you for whatever happened.”

Sledge wiped his face. “No, he won’t.”

“Yes, he will. Now, tell me what happened, see if I can help.”

“You can’t, no one can.”

“Try me.”

Sledge told her about Corey hitting on him, just leaving out the part where he’d responded, his shame rising up again. He breathed out, then continued on, mentioning the trouble that had gone down between Juliet and Corey.

“Oh.” Mrs Connor looked horrified. “And he’s mad at you?”

Sledge nodded.

“This isn’t your fault, honey. I love my boy, but he’s being selfish trying to force you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. And if he expects you to accept him like he is, then he shouldn’t try to change you, just like his father shouldn’t try to change him either. I’m afraid those two are more alike in personality than they care to admit, sexuality having nuthin’ to do with things.”

“But, I don’t wanna lose him, I love him so much.”

“You say that like he’s your boyfriend, not a friend.”

“I didn’t mean to.”
He’s more than a friend, and I don’t think boyfriend sounds right either, but we aren’t lovers cos we haven’t done more than kiss.

“Is there something you wanna tell me?” Mrs Connor asked, her expression knowing. “Cos I won’t judge you if you do.”

I don’t want to admit it to you, no matter how much you understand. Christ, you’re his mother, how can I tell you I got hard over your son? That’s just wrong in so many ways. And the way your husband looked at me when he thought I was bonking Corey, it scares me shitless that others will do the same.

“Sledge?”

He grabbed his hair, pulling on it to give him focus. “I don’t know how to word things. I wuz cruel to him, but I didn’t mean to, he just kept pushing and pushing until I snapped.” Sledge wished he could tell her straight, but that was the problem, nothing was straight now, and he wasn’t referring to possibly being gay, because his emotions were zigzagging all over the place, making him confused and not sure of what he wanted. He didn’t know if he could actually cross the boundaries with Corey sexually, or whether he was even capable of giving his
mate
,
lover
, whatever Corey was to him, what the guy wanted. But if he didn’t, he’d lose Corey to Tyler, and he couldn’t cope with that.

Mrs Connor squeezed his knee. “But you do love him, that’s why you’re here.”

Sledge nodded. “I didn’t mean what I said, I spoke without thinking. Tyler said horrible things ’bout my brother, and when Corey sided with him I lost my temper and stormed out. I thought he chose Tyler over me.”

“This is the boy whose father beat Corey?”

Sledge nodded. “Corey’s s’posed to be my mate, not his, but he chose him cos Tyler’s gay,”
and I don’t know what I am.

“Do you want Tyler to have Corey?”

Sledge looked up. “No!”

“That was a loud no.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“Then don’t let Corey push you away or around. He’s too upset to see sense now, but come back tomorrow, maybe he’ll have calmed down by then. And have a think ’bout what you wanna say to him, how you want things to proceed. Fight for your friendship, make him see what he’s pushing away.”

“I’m not good with words.”

“You’ll think of something, cos I can see how much you care. As his mother, that makes me feel good that he has someone who loves him as much as you do. Whether it’s platonic or not, it’s still love. Make Corey see that.”

Sledge wiped his face and nodded, then looked to his left as Naf hurried towards them, the clomp of his boots loud.

“Is Corey alright?” Naf asked as he came to a stop in front of them.

“Yes, he’s awake,” Sledge answered.

Naf blew out a breath, his face relieved for a few seconds before going dark. “Aroha’s awake and you’re not gonna believe what she said.”

Sledge got to his feet. “What?”

“She wouldn’t stop crying and babbling on about your stepdad trying to kill Juliet and wanting to rape Ash.”

Sledge’s hand shook as he pulled out his phone and rang Juliet. He’d had no idea how much danger she’d been in, just assumed it had been all about Ash.

His sister picked up on the third ring. “Sledge?”

“Did Chaz hurt you?” he asked.

“No, I got away.”

“Have the pigs mentioned anything ’bout Ash?”

“No, but they have Chaz’s licence plate.”

“Ring me as soon as you hear anymore.”

“Will do.”

“And Juliet...”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry for what happened between Corey and you.”

“Really?” she said, the sob in her voice making him feel like a complete and utter bastard for treating her so badly.

“Yeah, and I’ll make it up to you. I love you, sis.”

“I love you too, Tyson.”

He smiled sadly, not having heard her use his birth name in years. He said bye, then hung up, his gaze moving to Naf’s concerned face.

“What’s happening, Sledge?” Naf asked.

“What Aroha said is true.”

“Eh?”

“My stepfather raped Ash when my bro wuz fifteen.”

“You’re shitting me?”

“I wish I were.”

29

Ash

Ash’s eyelids refused to open, and he didn’t want them to either. His body felt like it was in a cocoon: warm and safe, a place he wished he could stay forever. No, someone was holding him in a tight embrace, protecting him. He thought of Tiana as lips pressed into his hair, then his forehead. He snuggled in closer, wanting the comfort, the love he felt from her. Soft kisses landed on his eyelids, along with murmurs that he was beautiful, the voice not belonging to Tiana. Panic rose through him, then was instantly snuffed out as a wave of dizziness swept through his mind, robbing him of his fears as well as consciousness.

Something clanged, jolting him awake. He opened his eyes, finding himself lying on a bed alone, with only darkness embracing him. His shoulders ached as well as his arms, which were stuck underneath him, pressing into his back. He rolled onto his side to free them, but found them tied together, the rope itching his wrists. Confused, he looked down his body, his eyes adjusting enough to see he was clad in a T-shirt and underwear. He pulled his legs up, dumbfounded when he realised they were tied too, and... What the fuck? He wriggled about, wondering whether he was imagining things, because there was a fucking chain around his waist.