Behind the Mask (46 page)

When Abbi came to a halt and stared upward, Cameron felt warm inside. He knew she couldn’t see him, but perhaps somehow she sensed him. The fact that she was there gave him the strength to face the time left alone. She was alive and real. And she missed him. Cameron could feel the evidence that she too was lonely, and he found renewal in knowing that someday soon he could be free to claim her publicly, and not have to settle for watching her from a distance because he feared that someone might have followed her. Or perhaps he was more afraid that if he acknowledged her at all he’d never be able to let her go again.

As Abbi disappeared into the forest, Cameron murmured aloud, “Thank you, God, for sending her to me.” He walked back to the lodge with a light step and a new hope in his heart.

After sending Abbi off, Georg went into the house for lunch. He preferred eating after the majority of the other servants were finished, and was delighted to find only Elsa in the kitchen, sitting at the table, picking apart a piece of dark bread.

“If it isn’t the most beautiful woman alive,” he said.

She looked up with a tense smile but said nothing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, scooting a chair next to hers.

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying,” she snapped, taking Georg off guard. He couldn’t recall her
ever
speaking to him that way. “I’m fine,” she added more softly. “I’m just . . . thinking.”

“About what?” he asked gently. “What’s troubling you?”

“Nothing!” she snapped again and stood abruptly. She attempted to leave, but he blocked her way.

“If you don’t want to talk, fine,” he said. “But don’t lie to me and walk away.”

“I
can’t
talk about it,” she said, turning her back to him.

“Is it Abbi?” he asked. She said nothing. “I saw her a few minutes ago. She seemed fine. Do you think she’s ill or—”

“I told you, I can’t talk about it.”

Georg turned her to face him. “If something is wrong with Abbi, I want to know about it.”

For a moment Elsa looked as if she might cry, then her eyes turned brittle. “You have no business asking me to betray my confidence with her when you tell me practically nothing about your life beyond what you do around here. You spend hours away from here nearly every day; sometimes you’re gone until the middle of the night. Most women would assume a husband keeping such hours was being unfaithful.”

Georg’s eyes widened. “I would hope you know me better than that.”

“I
do
know you better than that,” she retorted, much to his relief. “And you should know me better than to think that I would betray Abbi’s confidence in
anything
. Yes, I’m concerned about her. But it is simply none of your business. Now let me pass. I’ve got work to do.”

What else could Georg do? He stood aside to allow her to go, but he was waiting in the stable when Abbi returned, hoping he might get some information out of her directly.

Abbi was glad to see Georg when she arrived and willingly allowed him to help her dismount, not wanting to admit how lightheaded she was feeling after such a lengthy ride in the warm sun.

“Thank you,” she said, leaning heavily into him for just a moment. But apparently he noticed.

“What’s wrong, Abbi?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Georg.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Abbi looked at him hard. Couldn’t a woman keep a secret for even a day without being tormented for it? She turned away, saying, “When Cameron comes back, everything will be just fine.”

Georg attempted to figure where she was coming from. He felt it necessary to say, “Abbi, I know the two of you became close, but . . . when Cameron comes back, his life is going to be very complicated.”

It took Abbi a moment to perceive Georg’s implication. Was he assuming that she and Cameron were merely friends? Was he gauging Cameron’s feelings for her according to his own relationship with her? Of course, no one had told him otherwise.

“Abbi,” his voice softened, “I know that it must be a difficult adjustment after being with him and no one else for so long. But I don’t want you expecting something from him that he’s not in a position to give you. I know you did a great deal for him, and I know he truly appreciates your influence, as I do, but . . .”

“But?” she retorted when he hesitated. “What are you trying to say, Georg? Are you implying that I’m some simple-minded girl who might be deluding myself into believing that Cameron would hold onto any interest for me now that I’ve served my purpose?”

“I know he cares for you, Abbi. I just don’t want you to—”

“Of course he cares for me,” she growled with a hint of sarcasm. “I’m the only person he’s talked to in nearly four years. Of course he would give me attention. But you’re afraid I might assume something, and expect too much? Is that it?”

Georg said nothing and Abbi had to fight back her growing anger. She reminded herself that he was only thinking of her best interest. He had no idea what had transpired between her and Cameron. Still, she found it disheartening to think that Georg would assume she would be so foolish, and Cameron so heartless.

Georg attempted to gauge the reasons for her defensiveness, and he didn’t like the implications at all. When the silence became too intense he opted for a change of subject that might also help her find some perspective. “You’ve been seeing the captain quite regularly, I’ve noticed.”

“How observant you are,” she said, mildly sarcastic.

“He’s a good man, Abbi. He can be somewhat guarded, but if you give him a chance, you’ll not find a man more kind or honorable.”

Georg saw her eyes widen and then sharpen with anger. “I already have,” she said with a demeanor that reminded him clearly, in spite of her age, that he worked for her and she knew her place well. Still, they were friends first and foremost, and he was not going to stand by and let her be hurt by circumstances she had no comprehension of. While he was wondering how to ask exactly what she meant, she spoke words that verified his worst assumptions. “I’ve already found a good man, Georg; a man who is kind and honorable.”

“If you’re talking about Cameron,” he said, “you need to look at the situation realistically. In case you haven’t noticed, he is not in a position to be an appropriate suitor.”

Now she
really
looked upset. “An
appropriate suitor?
Is that what you said?” She shook her head and visibly suppressed her anger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Georg.”

He folded his arms stiffly. “Then maybe you’d better tell me.”

“Maybe I don’t
want
to tell you; not if you’re going to just assume that I’m deluding myself with some senseless attraction to this mysterious man who saved my life.”

Georg sighed. He knew that Abbi wasn’t simple-minded or prone to delusions. But he feared what she might have
perceived
from Cameron’s interest in her. This was so much more complicated than she could ever comprehend, and he didn’t want her getting hurt. Attempting to get more of the facts, he said cautiously, “Tell me what he said to you, Abbi.”

“About what?”

“Anything.”

“We were together for nearly six months.”

“All right, in general.”

“If you’re talking about the circumstances of his life, he told me very little; practically nothing. I don’t know his name, or anything about him. I only know how I feel about him.”

“And how is that?” he asked.

“You’re asking more questions when I haven’t answered the first one.”

“All right. What has he said?”

Abbi tried to find an important point, while she grudgingly held onto her most tender feelings, not wanting them spilled where they might be disregarded or treated lightly. “He promised me that the day he came down from the mountain, he would find me.”

Georg hated his next thought. Had Cameron made promises that were unrealistic because he’d been caught up in the fact that she was the only human being he’d had contact with in years? Had his need for companionship been misinterpreted? But he kept his mouth shut, certain he’d taken this too far already. It was evident that Abbi would perceive what she wanted.

“You still look as if you think I’m crazy,” Abbi said.

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Abbi. I’m just concerned that . . .”

“What?”

Georg put up his hands in resignation. “Forgive me, Abbi, but . . . I have nothing to go on here.”

“Fine, I’ll give you something to go on.” She lowered her voice to an imperative whisper. “We were
intimate,
Georg.”

Georg sat down hard and fast on a bale of straw. “Intimate?” he echoed, fearing he’d not heard her correctly. Or perhaps fearing that he had.

“That’s what I said.”

He took a good, long look at Abbi, attempting to comprehend what that meant. Sweet, precious little Abbi was no longer innocent—and Cameron was to blame. His first urge was to ride up the mountain this very minute and bust Cameron in the jaw. Knowing that was impossible, he swallowed his anger and pressed his head into his hands. “I can’t believe it.” He sighed. “I can’t believe that Cameron, of all people, would do something so irresponsible, knowing that he—”

“He was
not
irresponsible,” Abbi interrupted, and Georg looked up sharply. “All things considered, I think he exhibited enormous self-restraint. Don’t think for one minute because you are in control of his life that you have any idea what’s really going on. Now before you go jumping to any more conclusions, let it be clear that my interest in Captain Dukerk has
nothing
to do with seeking out an
appropriate suitor
. I have no need for any such thing.”

“Abbi,” he protested, “Cameron has told me nothing to indicate that his feelings for you warrant something like that. I realize you were alone together for a very long time, but—”

“Listen to me, Georg. A man doesn’t put months’ worth of feelings and experiences on tiny pieces of paper and tie them to birds. Trust me when I tell you that
I
will be his first concern when he shows his face.”

Georg watched Abbi walk away, wondering if he’d ever felt so frustrated in his life. He was supposed to be completely in control of something that he felt absolutely no control over. His wife was angry with him. Abbi was
furious
with him. Cameron was impatient to get on with his life, while the pieces were coming together all too slowly. And now? Now he had to wonder if Cameron was thinking clearly at all. Their communications regarding plans to regain his freedom were clear, and just what Georg would expect. But what of matters of the heart? He’d said
nothing
about his feelings for Abbi. Yet, they had been intimate. He could understand how, even as disciplined and responsible as he believed Cameron to be, it could be difficult to keep from being intimate with the only woman he’d seen in years, especially being alone with her for months. But that didn’t make it right. And it didn’t necessarily mean what Abbi might think it did. And how was all of this supposed to work into his great plan?

After thinking it through for a long while, Georg knew that he could not accomplish anything without first mending his relationships with Elsa and Abbi. But before he approached Abbi, he had to know what he was dealing with; otherwise, he was going to alienate her completely. He sent a message to Cameron before going to find Elsa, hoping to make amends.

Cameron paused his work long enough to grab hold of the bird that had just arrived and remove the message. He was getting terribly weary of daily reports of progress that felt far too slow. But this message was different.
Please help me understand your feelings for Abbi. I can see that she’s struggling, but she’s not talking. I can’t help her if I don’t know what I’m dealing with
.

Cameron felt warmed by this second piece of evidence today that Abbi was missing him. She felt alive and real to him for the first time in days, and he was grateful. He read the message again, saying aloud, “You want me to put that in less than a thousand words?”

Cameron went into the lodge to sit down and think this through carefully. He could understand why Abbi might find it difficult to talk to Georg freely about the situation. He could also see where Georg could have trouble understanding. He finally wrote down a few brief sentences that didn’t begin to express what he felt, but they would at least let Georg know exactly where he stood.