Behind the Eight Ball (12 page)

Sam nodded in Lawson’s direction. “We do agree Lawson needs to be careful. Since we don’t know what pack the were belongs to, we can’t even talk to its Alpha about the situation.”

“Shit.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.

Marshell studied his coffee. “Until we figure out what this is about, I’ll stay with Lawson. He doesn’t need to be running around alone.”

Lawson scowled at Marshell. “Oh, I don’t think—”

I debated throwing my mug at the Vetala. “You? Over my dead—”

Marshell perked up. “Body? Works for me.”

Janelle’s scowl matched Lawson’s. “Marshell, stop being an ass.”

“Has anyone outside of me noticed how often one of you tells Marshell to stop being an ass? Just curious,” I added.

“Oh, come on!” Lawson’s voice rose over the ruckus. “The last thing I need is a babysitter.”

“While Janelle and I taught you how to defend yourself against paranormals, you’re still human, Lawson,” Marshell said, ignoring me. “You’re still at a disadvantage.”

“I’ll start carrying the knife like I used to when the hunters were bothering you guys, and I’ll be more observant of my surroundings.” Lawson looked at Marshell. “No more trips to the garbage cans late at night either.”

“That’s a good start,” I agreed. “Especially since I’m going to be stuck to you like glue.”

The entire table went silent.

“Okay.” Janelle stood. She tugged Sam up with her. “That’s our cue to beat it.” She started out of the kitchen, holding hands with Sam. She stopped and glared at Marshell. “That includes you too.”

Marshell rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He followed Sam and Janelle out of the kitchen. “Besides, I haven’t had a chance to feed. Have you, Janelle?”

“Well….”

I listened to their voices fade. With three other paranormals in the house, there was no such thing as a private conversation, but at least Marshell was no longer adding his two cents’ worth.

“Heller?”

I turned my attention to my mate. “Yeah?”

“What the fuck are you doing, man?”

I flinched.
Should have seen that coming after how I acted.
Of course Lawson was confused. Why wouldn’t he be? I’d denied him, but here I was pushing my way into his life so I could protect him.

“I… I’m sorry, Lawson. Truly sorry for how I acted. I hurt you, I know, and I’m ashamed of myself for doing that to you. I can’t change it, and believe me, I wish I could.”

Lawson just sat there.

“I’d give anything if I could. Walking away from you… I hurt us both. But that second time? I wasn’t rejecting you, but I see why it looks like that. I can explain, but I’d rather do it when it’s just us. Paranormals have excellent hearing, as you probably know.”

Lawson still just sat there, not speaking.

This was not going well. “Please? Give me a chance. I swear I’ll make it up to you.”

Sighing, Lawson looked down. “Watching you drive away that day killed me a little. Maybe if I hadn’t known what was happening, it might not have been so bad. Rejection hurts no matter who you are or how old you are. You
hurt
me. Do you understand that?”

I reached my hand out, letting it lie on the table, palm up. “I know. But please give me a chance to explain. Please, Lawson. Look, if you want, I’ll even get down on my knees and ask you to forgive me.” I flashed what I hoped was a sexy smile.

Up went one of Lawson’s eyebrows. He didn’t reach out to me either. “Okay.”

My mouth fell open in stunned amazement. “Huh?”

Lawson pursed his lips. “You walking out on me left my heart around my knees. Think it’s only fair you end up on yours now.”

“I… I….”
Shit, he isn’t kidding.
Suddenly I smiled. I could do this. Absolutely could I do this for my mate. I could get on my knees for my human. I left my chair and walked over to Lawson. Without stopping to think, I slid to my knees on the tile floor. “Give me a chance, please.”

A slow smile covered Lawson’s face. “I’ll be damned. I didn’t think you would.”

“I messed up, and if this is what it takes to get you to give me a second chance, then that’s okay.”

Lawson reached out and gently caressed my cheek. “Be sure. I can’t… I deserve someone who cares for me, who’ll love me for me. Can you really get past my being human?”

I turned my face into Lawson’s hand, nuzzling the soft skin. “I already have. Not that being human should have ever been an issue. But I’m here, aren’t I? I’m literally on my knees for you, and I’m not going anywhere. I want you. Can
you
get past what I did in the beginning?”

Lawson leaned closer. “Yeah. I can if you can. But I still deserve to know why.”

“Yes, you do.” With a sigh, I stood. “Will you come home with me and spend what’s left of the weekend at my house?”

Lawson stared up at me then stood. “All right. Let me tell everyone where I’m going to be, and I’ll be ready to go.”

AN HOUR
later I had Lawson standing in my living area. The last time I was this scared, some nutcase was trying to burn up one of Dolf’s mates. I watched Lawson wander around.
Thank fuck I picked up yesterday.

“I like these chairs. They look comfy.” Lawson sank into one of the overstuffed chocolate-brown leather chairs. “Yup, comfy.”

I shifted from foot to foot, unsure what I was supposed to do. “Um, what about something to drink?”

“No thanks.” Lawson shook his head. “Why don’t we, you know, just talk?”

“Let me get something to drink first.” I quickly fixed a glass of unsweetened tea and sat on the leather couch across from Lawson. I took a deep breath, nerves racing. “Jeez, I don’t know how to begin.”

“At the beginning, isn’t that what they always say?” Lawson grinned slightly. “Just start talking.”

“At the beginning,” I echoed. “Yeah.” My laugh was slightly ironic. “Let me ask you something. Do you have a brother or sister?”

Lawson kicked off his shoes and curled his legs up under him in the chair. “Nope, it was just me.”

“I see. Your parents?”

“Dumped me like a hot potato when they—” Lawson suddenly cleared his throat. “Ah. Well, guess we both have some unloading to do tonight. My parents stopped having anything to do with me not because I’m gay, but because I was dating a black man.”

I clutched my glass. “Let me guess: Marshell?”

“Yes. Before you get the wrong idea, that was nine years ago. Our relationship ended, but our friendship is still strong. I knew back then he wasn’t the one. I wasn’t his mate either. As it turns out, we’re better friends than lovers. I love him like a brother, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. There hasn’t been anything between us in a long time.”

I fiddled with my glass, more relieved than I could admit. “And Janelle?”

“She and Marshell swing both ways, but I’m gay. There has
never
been anything between Janelle and me. She’s like a sister. Do you see what I’m saying here? They’re my family.”

I nodded. “A sister, huh? Sisters can be great, or they can be a pain in the ass.”

Lawson watched me. “Un-huh. Sounds like you’d know.”

“Yeah. I had a sister.” I fought the insistent pull to travel back to that day, that day that she died. I thrust the memories away. I’d be sharing those soon enough. “She was the greatest unless she was being a pain. Her name was Lynette.”

“Was?” Lawson asked softly.

“Yeah.” I set the glass down and met Lawson’s eyes. “She, ah, died thirty years ago.”

“How old are you?”

“Hmm? Oh. I’m one hundred fifty. Shifters age slower than humans. Don’t the Vetala?”

“They do. I was just wondering.”

“Oh.” I looked away from Lawson as the memories got more demanding. “So it’s not a big deal to you, I take it? The age thing. I mean, you’re used to paranormals, right?”

“The age thing doesn’t bother me.” Lawson stood. He walked over to the couch and sat next to me. Resting his hand on my knee, Lawson waited for me to look at him. “How did Lynette die?”

“She’d fallen in love with this human. Bruce wasn’t her mate, but she claimed she loved him. But because he wasn’t her mate, she couldn’t change him. You, ah, know about the recessive gene thing, right?”

“Um….”

“See, there’s this recessive gene some humans have. That gene is how we can tell if a human is our mate or not. Like for instance, you smell like the ocean to me: sharp, clean, and salty. It’s the best thing I’ve ever smelled.” I covered Lawson’s hand with my own. “You didn’t just smell good, you smelled like mine.”

“Yeah, Janelle told me.” Lawson threaded our fingers together. “You smell like coconut.”

“Really? Cool.” Relief that Lawson was sitting so close and willing to touch flowed through me. “So anyhow, this recessive gene mutates during the blood transfer between humans and shifters. This allows humans to develop shifter abilities like rapid healing and lifespan expansion. The human is no longer human then, so no seeing human doctors and stuff. They can’t shift, though.”

“I see.”

“Lynette couldn’t mate with him and extend his lifespan because he didn’t have the gene, so his scent didn’t call to her. They’d been together about three years. That last year things started going bad. She’d call me and… cry.”

Lawson squeezed my fingers. “That must’ve been hard.”

“It was, but she refused to leave him. Believe me, I begged her to. She’d left the clowder and moved in with him a year after they started dating. I didn’t want her to go, but… well, he was human and didn’t want to live around us.”

“How odd. I’ve never had a problem living around the Vetala.”

“Well, to be honest, we probably didn’t make him feel welcome.” I squirmed on the couch. “Our clowder didn’t use to be very welcoming to humans. But Kirk, Dolf’s other mate, is changing that.”

“Really?”

“Um, yeah. Kirk can be very outspoken. And strong-willed. And an ass if he needs to be. He’s definitely shaken things up and, well, it was time. Our clowder needed a wake-up call. Nothing has been the same since he showed up.”

“Change can be painful. Kirk sounds like a very interesting person, but I’m more interested in hearing about Lynette.”

I snorted. “He is. Anyhow, Lynette called there at the end to let me know she was pregnant. She was freaked, and so was Bruce.”

“I didn’t know a paranormal could get pregnant by a human.”

“It’s rare. It’s very, very rare. If it does happen, the pregnancy usually terminates. But if the baby manages to go full term, it usually dies within the first year. Even with those odds, a few do manage to live. The baby is a kind of hybrid.”

“Wow. But isn’t that kind of what mates are?”

“Mates can’t shift, Lawson. These hybrids can. That makes them very, very different. They have shifter abilities, but they’re, like… diluted. They don’t live as long, nor are they as strong as us.”

“I see. Have you ever met one?”

“Nope. There were rumors of a guy up north somewhere. I have no idea if the rumor was true or not.” I shook my hair back. “We’re getting off-topic. That last year they were together, Bruce was drinking, staying out all hours, and apparently he hit her a few times.”

“Oh dear.”

“Yeah.” I took another sip of tea. “Well. Since we heal fast, bruises never last long. I showed up one afternoon while he was supposed to be at work. She’d quit her job.”

“Classic signs.”

“Yeah, she didn’t see it that way, but the fact was she didn’t have her own money anymore. All her friends had drifted off too.” With my free hand, I picked up my tea and sipped. My throat was suddenly dry. I quickly put it back when I saw my hand shake. “Her jaw was bruised. She’d scrambled eggs for breakfast, and he’d wanted fried.”

“Jesus.” Lawson scowled. “What an asshole. She should’ve hit him upside the head with the freaking skillet.”

“Yeah. Point is I saw the bruises. I left before he came home that day so he wouldn’t have another reason to get mad at her. I tried to talk her into leaving, but she wouldn’t.”

“You couldn’t make her.”

“They lived out in the middle of nowhere, so they didn’t have neighbors,” I said. “No one to hear the screams.”

“No one to help either,” Lawson added.

“Exactly. Well, he finally went too far. She found out she was pregnant, and he was flipping out about having some ‘thing’ as a child. At least that’s what she said he said. She called, wanting out.”

“Kind of late to freak out after the fact.”

“True, but they didn’t think this was really possible.” I pulled my hand away from Lawson and rubbed both over my face. Gods, I dreaded this. “She planned to walk away, just leave with nothing more than the clothes on her back. He’d taken her keys and wouldn’t let her drive.”

“That’s what they do.” Lawson stroked my hair. “They isolate their victims.”

“He sure did. She was all alone up there, and he’d started beating her pretty severely.” I gulped, staring off into space, voice dropping. “She didn’t want her phone bill to show a lot of calls to me so we picked a date and a time for her to leave. I’d get there early one morning after he left for work, help her pack, and then get her out of there. Should have been simple. Instead I walked into a nightmare.”

Lawson didn’t speak.

“When I got there I noticed his truck in the drive and the front door was partially open. That was the first sign things had gone tits up. I parked and got out. I probably didn’t take five steps before I smelled blood, I didn’t stop to think. I just ran inside….”

Lawson let his hand drop from my hair and squeezed my knee.

“Do you have any idea how well blood shows up on white tile floors? No? Well, it does. Horribly so. I walked down the hallway that led to the kitchen, following the bloody handprints on the wall. It was the longest walk of my life.”

“I can’t even…. Lord.”

“Some part of me must have known what I was going to find. I never once called out as I walked toward the kitchen. I found her there on the floor. It takes a lot to kill a shifter, did you know that?”

“I do, yes,” Lawson said. “You guys are pretty strong and heal fast.”

“But we can’t heal from a gunshot wound.”