Behind Closed Doors (6 page)

“We’re living the dream, huh?” he smiled, giving me a sideways glance.

“We are indeed.”

“Cheers to that.” Marc said, knocking his coffee cup against mine.

***

When I watched
Dreamers
on television, I always assumed the shows were filmed at night. It never occurred to me that the performances actually took place in the afternoon.

On the day of my first performance, I tried to sleep as late as possible, but it was useless. My nerves were shot. I hadn’t slept well the previous night, tossing and turning, imagining anything and everything that could go wrong with my performance. I wasn’t the only who was anxious. A lot of the contestants had endured a restless night’s sleep.

We arrived at the studio and headed straight to hair and makeup. I felt like a true star, as people fussed over me. My hair was straightened, my nails painted and makeup plastered all over my face. Once I was given thumbs up that I was camera ready, I glanced in the mirror and marveled at the end result. I looked so different and I hoped to find the confidence to match my new appearance.

I made my way to the green room where I would be collected prior to my performance. The backstage assistant approached me and casually dropped the news that I would be the first to perform.

“You have got to be kidding?” I gaped at her.

“Think of it as a blessing. Once you’re done, you get to sit back and watch the other performances.”

I sat on the sofa and wrung my clammy hands together, repeating the lyrics in my head. Jayce entered the room and walked over to me, casually sitting on the arm of the sofa.

His scent invaded my senses as he sat close to my side. He smelled like vanilla. It was intoxicating and distracting at the same time.

“Hey, how are you doing?” he smiled. 

“Did you know I’m singing first?”

He smirked. “Yeah, I thought it would help you if you could get it over and done with.”

“You get to choose the line up?” I eyed him suspiciously.

“I have some input, yes.”

“I could kill you right now!” I slapped his shoulder hard, but to my surprise, he chuckled.

“You’ll be fine,” he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “I have to find the others to check in with them, but don’t overthink it, okay?”

I wanted to stare daggers into his back as he swaggered out of the room, but I couldn’t resent him when he thought he was doing me a favor.

Shortly after, I was standing in the bleachers waiting to be called on stage. The coaches entered the arena and the audience roared as Nadia introduced them individually. When Jayce’s name was announced, deafening screams filled the room. If there was ever a doubt in my mind who the most popular coach was, it was answered in that moment.

Nadia began to talk, her shrill voice filling my ears, but her words didn’t register in my distracted mind. My nerves intensified when I heard a video clip playing and recognized my own voice. They were playing my audition and some footage shot during my rehearsal the day before.

“Get ready,” one of the production crew pulled me forward and pushed me out toward the stage as Nadia announced, “please welcome, Kyla Quinn.”

The audience clapped, but it was nothing in comparison to the coaches’ entrance just moments before. It was still amazing that a room full of strangers were applauding me.

I made my way to the center of the stage and the spotlight set on me, which made it hard to see into the crowd - maybe that was a good thing. My breath came in shallow bursts as I waited for the music to begin. The band started playing and once the first line left my lips, I was running on pure adrenaline.

The frightened girl from backstage transformed into a performer. I’d heard other people describe what adrenaline could do once it kicked in, but I don’t think I’d ever experienced it until that moment.

As the song finished, the crowd erupted. They were clapping and cheering loudly and I smiled widely, truly flattered by their reaction. The attention quickly turned to the coaches who had the task of critiquing each performance.

“Pixie, what did you think of Kyla’s performance?” Nadia was at my side and I hadn’t even heard her approach.

“Kyla, what a perfect song choice for your sweet voice,” Pixie started. “Being on that stage really suits you.” The crowd cheered again.

“Thank you,” I beamed.

“I really like your song choice. You put your own special twist on it, which was awesome. And I must say, what a perfect opening for our first show.” Dion clapped his hands together.

“Jayce, care to comment on your first contestants performance?” Nadia prompted.

A hint of a smile appeared on Jayce’s lips. “I agree with Dion, it was the perfect opening to the show.” The crowd cheered again and Jayce continued, “Kyla to me represents what this show is about. She is a working professional, but has a passion for singing, it makes her feel alive and she’s damn good at it. She’s set the standard for my team. Actually, for all three teams.”

I was stunned by Jayce’s kind appraisal and hoped he meant every single word he said.

Nadia announced the next singer and I turned to walk off the stage. That was when the unthinkable happened. My worst dream come true... I tripped.

It wasn’t a full-blown stack and fall to the ground. It was one of those stumbles where one foot got caught on the other heel. My upper body launched forward and in an attempt to save myself, I put my hands in front of me to break my fall. This gave the audience ample view of my ass as it stuck up in the air.

Thankfully, I hadn’t worn a skirt. I wobbled back onto steady feet and rushed off stage as I heard laughter bellow from the audience behind me.

“You did so well.” Emily hugged me once I safely made it backstage.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” I said, attempting to hide my face in my hands.

“The trip?” Emily pulled a face. “I mean, I wasn’t going to say anything-” she began.

“Oh God. How bad was it?”

“It’s not like it was a nipple slip or anything,” Emily attempted to rationalize.

I shuddered when I thought of the whole country getting the replay of my stack straight into their living rooms.

“I’m sure no one noticed.” Emily wrapped an arm around me as we walked toward the green room.

Once I got over the fact that I tripped on stage, I actually enjoyed watching the other performances. I was surprised at how well everyone was doing and it dawned on me that three very talented people would be sent home. It was hard to pick anyone that didn’t deserve to stay another week.

As soon as the performances concluded, Jayce’s team was called on stage. We stood side by side, waiting for the announcement of our fate.

To my surprise, Jayce called my name, saving me first and I left the stage as quickly and carefully as possible. My cheeks were permanently stained pink and I was sure to be forever known as the girl who tripped on the 
Dreamers
 stage.

I watched from the side of stage as one by one, my teammates joined me. It was then down to Harry and Regan. I liked them both, but deep down I knew Regan was still too young to be put in such an environment. Jayce agreed and decided it was time for her to go home. He suggested a few more years would do wonders for her singing as well as her confidence. Jayce jumped on the stage and hugged Regan before she walked our way, a brave smile on her face. I embraced her as she fell apart in my arms. She was usually so shy and quiet, but I could tell just how much the competition meant to her.

“Don’t be sad, Regan. This is just the beginning for you.” I kissed her cheek as she continued to sob. That was the moment I realized how quickly this dream could be taken away. One minute you were performing and the next you were sent home with nothing more than a broken dream.

Chapter 6

I had survived the first week in the house and most importantly, the first week of the competition.

On Saturday evening, Emily and I decided to watch the first performance show that we’d tivoed the night before. I sat on the large plush sofa, my feet propped up on the coffee table and for the first time all day, I was able to relax. The replay was over and the producers had edited out my tripping on stage. 

“Not so bad, huh?” Emily commented.

“It wasn’t bad at all,” I answered honestly.

“But you still sat with your hands covering your face for your whole performance,” she laughed.

“I will never understand how you can sit there watching yourself,” I shook my head. “I hate seeing myself on screen.”

“Well that makes two of us.” Victoria appeared in the doorway of the living room. Her shoulder rested against the doorframe as she casually crossed her arms over her chest.

“Hi girls,” she said cheerfully.

Both Emily and I didn’t respond. We sat in silence, staring at her skinny form saunter into the room and sit on the sofa across from us.

“So, Kyla,” she started, a smug expression on her face. “How does it feel, you know, making an ass of yourself on television?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to remain poised as I awaited her attack.

“You tripped on stage, how humiliating!”

And there it was.

“It wasn’t so bad. They edited it out.”

The smile instantly fell from her face.

“Didn’t you know?” Emily smiled. “We just watched the entire show. All they showed was Kyla’s flawless performance.”

Victoria rolled her eyes, exaggerating her annoyance.

“I didn’t hear anyone refer to her singing as 
flawless
.” She said the word is if it was foreign to her.

“What did Jayce say?” Emily tapped her finger on her chin as if gathering her thoughts. “Oh, that’s right. He said, 
‘she set the standard for every other singer.’
That’s you, that’s me, that’s all of us.” Emily threw her arm out as if signaling the whole house.

“It was a train wreck!” Victoria scoffed.

Emily stood up, hovering over Victoria. “You are such a bitch!”

“Shut up-” Victoria retorted quickly and I knew I had to step in.

I grabbed Emily by the shoulders and pulled her back toward me. She may have been small, but she was definitely feisty.

“Okay girls,” I stifled a laugh. “We’re done here.”

Emily plumped back onto the sofa and I was relieved that the little firecracker had retreated. For now.

While I was sick of Victoria and her snappy one-liners, I decided to tackle the issue head on.

“Victoria, let’s just agree that we’re never going to be best friends. You obviously don’t like me and you think I’m a bad singer...”

She smiled when I uttered the words 
bad singer
 and I fought back the urge to smack her myself.

“Let’s just be civil.” I said, joining Emily on the sofa.

“Fine,” she exaggerated a sigh.

Just when I thought we were going to have a conversation like normal people, she stood up, dramatically tossed her hair over one shoulder and walked out the room.

“I hate her!” Emily said. “I don’t hate anyone, but I hate her!”

“She’s not worth the energy,” I said.

“Why are you so calm?” she asked. “You do realize her insults are directed at you?”

I smiled and shrugged at the same time. “She’s just insecure about herself and her own singing.”

“Such wisdom, Ky,” Emily slapped me on the shoulder. “But seriously, I still hate her.”

Emily’s expression was serious, but all I could do was laugh.

***

The weekend went by without any more mean girls drama and on Tuesday, we headed to the studio to start the second week of the contest. The week was dedicated to the broken hearted. I laughed at the irony. Barely three weeks since Brody ripped my heart of my chest and now I would have to sing a song about it. I wasn’t sure that Emily understood the theme of the week though.

“This is my week, Kyla. I live for songs about love,” she told me, a dreamy look on her face.

“This isn’t about roses and candy,” I explained. “You have to sing about people getting their hearts broken.”

“Yeah, but those are the best kind of songs.”

I didn’t question her. I just smiled as I walked through the studio for my session with Jayce. I was excited to see him, but dreading it at the same time. I hadn’t spoken to him since the first show and I was eager to talk about my first performance, despite my on stage mishap. It was now known in the house as 
‘the trip’
 and I still turned red whenever someone brought it up.

“Hey,” Jayce nodded toward me and handed me a list of songs. “What are we going to sing this week?”

I noticed the camera crew stationed in the corner of the room and wondered if that accounted for Jayce’s slightly reserved mood. I ran my eyes over the song list, but none of the titles really stood out at me.

“What no 
Achy Breaky Heart
?” I asked in a deadpan tone.

He smiled for the first time since I’d entered the room. “Maybe something a little more pop this week?”

“Okay, what did you have in mind?” I asked.

“
Broken-Hearted Girl
.”

“Beyoncé, really?”

I was sure I’d know the song once I heard it, but I couldn’t think of the tune off the top of my head.

“Let’s just listen to it a couple of times and you can see what you think.”

After listening to the song twice, I sang it a couple of times by myself. On the third run through the band joined in and I could tell Jayce wasn’t happy with my progress.

“Your voice sounds fine, but I’m just not finding it believable,” he looked at his notes, thoughtfully. “Maybe you’ve never gone through these things, experienced these emotions, but there has to be some level of understanding for the performance to be believable. Otherwise it’s just you, on stage, singing lyrics.”

Maybe I’d never gone through these things?
 Little did he know, the song, the lyrics, they were all too real for me and it pained me to think about their significance in my current life.

Jayce was studying me, waiting for me to comment, but I couldn’t talk. I looked at the sheet music in front of me and pretended I was deep in thought. Really, I was desperately trying to avoid his gaze as I was close to tears.