Before Sunrise (53 page)

“
I won’t be staying
long.”

He walked over to the sofa and sat down.
Harper came and sat next to him. He was going to try hard to find
the right thing to say. But he wasn’t a man of words. So the best
he could hope for was getting the point across. “What happened last
night shouldn’t have, sweetheart.”

“
Why? Was it that bad for
you?”

“
What?”

Harper rubbed her arm. She cast her eyes
down and away. “Was it that bad between us? Is that why you can’t
even look at me?”

“
No. Harper, it had nothing
to do with sex. I mean yes, the sex was good. Really good, but
that’s not it.”

“
So you hate me? For Liam
finding out? For the way he hit you?”

“
No, I love you. I do, but
not the way you should be loved. I love you like a brother.” The
moment he said it he knew it was a lie. An awareness switched on in
him, like cold water to his face. But he set it aside. Whatever
made him even consider falling in love had to be some residual
effect over Liam’s resurrection. Fucking universe was off kilter.
Everything normal was all fucked up.

Harper shook her head. “I’m sorry for what I
did. How I did it, I mean. I don’t normally throw myself at boy—um,
men. I just didn’t know what else to do to make you see me. Now…now
you can barely look at me, and Liam probably can’t either. Even
Kennedy doesn’t believe me when I say I love you. I guess no one
does.”

“
It’s me, Harper. I’m too
old for you. We don’t work, sweetheart. We’re family.”

Harper sat forward. She put her face in her
hands and began to cry. Eric could feel the air drain from the
room. He wanted to run for the door. Tears? He had no idea what to
do with a crying woman. A woman he cared for, crying over him, was
as strange as bin Laden walking into his office and surrendering.
He never stayed with a woman long enough to let it get that far.
That’s why he liked to fuck his enemy; he’d have less stress right
now if he’d fucked Alexa to get a nut and possibly throw her off
Liam’s cock.

Harper continued to cry.
Eric wanted to touch her and comfort her but he feared that, too.
He didn’t know where the lines were.
Boundaries, man.

“
Fine, fine. I get it.” She
sniffled, sat back wiping at her eyes. “I’m too young to be in
love. You don’t want to be with someone my age. Whatever. You said
what you had to say.Just go.” She stood. Before he could rethink it
he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. He brought her to his
lap.

“
I’m a coward. I can’t think
of any way to make this work with you without hurting you and other
people in the process.”

“
Liam?”

“
Yes. He loves you and he
wants to protect you.”‘

“
I don’t need his
protection. He’s been gone for five years. He can’t show up and try
to control me. I have a father.”

“
You have a father who lost
another daughter at your age. Do you want to put your dad through
that again? Everybody is excited about you going to college. You
got the world in front of you. Trust me, sweetheart, this isn’t
love. Next year you won’t glance my way, and it’ll be my heart
that’s breaking.”

Harper looked away. “I don’t want to hurt my
dad. But I’m not a kid. I’m eighteen. Sixty-three days from being
nineteen, and I know what I feel. I love you Eric. I always have.
You don’t have to believe me. I’m sure I’ll get over it. Just don’t
tell me I don’t know what I feel.”

“
I would never tell you
that.” Eric said. He felt a surge of belonging when she said she
loved him. In his life, only two women had ever said those words to
him and meant it: his grandmother, and a drunken whore in
Korea.

Harper stared into his face. She touched his
jaw, then his bottom lip and he winced. Even now his busted lip
stung.

“
Does it hurt?” she
asked.

“
No.”

“
Liam went crazy. I told
Kennedy but she acted like she didn’t believe me. What’s wrong with
him?”

“
He’ll be fine. We’ll get
him some help.”

Harper kept stroking his jaw. He wished she
would stop, but he made no move to stop her. She sat on his lap and
stroked his jaw and the beast inside him clawed to stroke her back.
She had him on edge again. “We cool?” he asked, trying to will his
cock not to rise.

She leaned in and kissed him. It was so
natural he didn’t object at first. He just drew her tongue in and
savored the taste of her. But his cock did rise and so did his
sensibility. He pushed her back gently. “That’s it. it has to stop.
Okay?”

“
Last night, when you made
love to me, it was more than sex. I felt it, Eric. You can tell
Liam and Kennedy whatever you want to deny what we shared. You can
sit here and say you don’t feel anything but brotherly love for me.
But I felt it. If you want to give up on this because it makes you
uncomfortable or you’re ashamed, then fine. I understand. It’s not
my loss. It’s yours.” She rose from his lap and wiped her tears
from her cheeks. “There are plenty of men who find me beautiful,
that want to be with me. Men that don’t know Liam and don’t care
that I’m eighteen.”

“
Harper, chill out
okay.”

“
I’ll give one of them a
call tonight. Get dressed real pretty for him and—”

“
Stop it, damn it!” he
snapped.

“
Get out. And don’t come
around here anymore.” She walked away.

Eric groaned deep in his throat. He reached
for his helmet and started to rise. He told himself she deserved
better, that it was wrong, and he knew it was true. But the idea of
her being with someone else made him hot with anger. “Fuck!”

Harper sat on her bed and the tears came.
She wanted to hate him, but she decided not to. He never asked for
her to come on to him. She felt like a fool. Throwing her self at
him was so pathetically low. And he’d been right. What would her
father think? She knew her mother would probably drop in a faint,
or worse blame Liam and Kennedy. But her dad’s feelings meant the
most to her. He was so depressed and upset after Kennedy ran away.
And then the fights between her parents when Kennedy married Liam
forever changed them. No matter what her father did to get her
mother’s forgiveness, she punished him. Mama became mean,
distrustful and withdrawn from her and daddy both. Harper wondered
if Mama loved Kennedy more than she loved them. She certainly acted
like it. They pretended when Kennedy and Liam did visit that they
were okay, but they weren’t. Things were different.

Still, she saw how Liam loved Kennedy. And
how happy she was. There was nothing wrong with them in Harper’s
eyes. And before them she had her parents’ love. Her father was ten
years older than her mother. Her mother married young. Why would it
be different for her?

Because it just is.
She couldn’t do that to her daddy
again.

Her bedroom door opened. Surprised, she
lifted her head. Eric came inside the room. She rose from the
mattress, annoyed. “I told you to leave. I won’t bother you
anymore. So don’t give me any more lectures.”

Eric marched over to her and took her face
into his hands. To Harper’s surprise, he kissed her. She shivered
as his tongue explored the deep recesses of her mouth. And as
sweetly as the kiss began it ended, filling her with a sigh of
contentment.

“
Let me work through this.
I….” Eric shook his head. He held her face and she saw the battle
raging in his dark brown eyes. “I don’t know what to do with the
feelings I have for you.”

Harper nodded. “Me, either.”

***

Liam turned over. After their shower they
changed the sheets and made another comfortable spot to sleep. Soon
he’d have to let her go back to her life and find a way to belong
there as well. He was determined to try. No more jealousy, no more
doubts. Even the nightmares when he closed his eyes had eased. But
like an approaching storm cloud, he feared their return. He was
going to get into therapy and figure his shit out. Including his
guilt over what happened to his baby sister.

With Kennedy anything was possible.

She turned over, smiling. “Go to sleep,” she
said without opening her eyes. Somehow, she knew he was lying there
awake. He drew the covers over her and kissed her nose. She
snuggled up against his chest, and he threw his leg over her thigh
so his cock could rest at the apex of her sex. Closing his eyes, he
didn’t fear sleep. For the first time in five years, he didn’t fear
anything.

Chapter Twenty-one

Pulling down her wool sweater, Kennedy
turned toward the bed and ran the zipper up to the front of her
jeans. Liam sat there, barely covered by the sheet. His arm rested
on his raised knee and his forehead rested in his palm. He didn’t
look happy. In fact, she knew that look. He was pouting. Again.

“
Why are you so quiet,
Liam?” she asked.

“
I don’t understand why you
can’t just pick up Mac and bring her back. We can have Christmas
here. I can get more furniture, if that’s what—”

“
No you don’t, mister.”
Kennedy pointed a finger at him. “I’m decorating our house. The bed
is perfect, but leave the rest to me, okay? We’ll furnish this
place after Christmas like we discussed. I’ve got two days to get
Mac’s party ready and all the gifts wrapped. Besides, I told you
mama and daddy are over there. This is a celebration. Our first
Christmas with my soldier boy home.”

“
Yeah, whatever.”

“
Liam. We talked about this.
We agreed.”

“
You talked and I
agreed.”

“
Fine, get dressed. Come
with me. Mama and daddy haven’t seen you. Mac is definitely missing
you. Come on. I don’t want to leave you either.”

“
Phil’s there.” He frowned.
“I think I better hang back.”

Kennedy sighed. She looked around for her
boots. “Well, I expect to see you tonight. I’ll come back if you
want me to, but it might be late. I have so much to do.”

“
I’m sorry, Kay. Not trying
to be a pain in your ass.”

Kennedy laughed, pulling up one boot, then
the other. “Sure you’re not.”

“
I’m not comfortable over
there at
his
house. But I know it’s what we agreed is best for Mac. I’ll be
there tomorrow. Christmas Eve. And I’ll be there Christmas.
Then…well, I expect you and Mac to spend more time here with me,
in
our
house.”

“
Of course.” She walked
around the bed and leaned in to give him a kiss. She miscalculated
his reach. He grabbed her and flipped her to her back. Pinning her
down with her hands above her head, Liam gave her that hungry,
lustful, look that meant her jeans and panties would be at her
ankles soon. He lowered his face to run his lips along her neck.
His hands went under her sweater. “Stop it! Liam! I’m serious.
Stop.”

“
Let me get a little more,”
he groaned. “Just a little more and I’ll let you go.”

“
No!” She bucked beneath
him. “Your daughter needs me. I have to leave.”

Liam sighed and let her rise. He was such a
baby. What was he afraid of? They were back, and stronger than
ever. She didn’t say it, but she felt it. He should, too. “You need
a phone Liam. Take mine.” She turned in search of her purse.

“
I don’t want your phone. We
got one here.”

“
Take it. I’m serious, I
want to be able to reach you. I still don’t have the number to the
phone here. I’ll have the line switched over to our own
number.”

“
No. I’ll get a mobile
today,” Liam said, ignoring the phone. “I’ll call you later with
the number. I promise.”

Kennedy stared at him for another moment.
Did he think everything she had belonged to Phil? She wanted to
smack him for being so bullheaded. Instead, she decided to ignore
his pouting. “I want you to take my phone. This way you can call me
if you need to. Here.” He accepted the phone. “What are you going
to do today?”

“
I want to see Ant and Eric.
Anthony’s leaving soon. I think Eric is too. I just want to talk to
them both. Then I’m going to meet that doctor.”

“
Really?” Kennedy
smiled.

Liam avoided her eyes when he nodded. She
wanted to hug him and baby him but she thought better of it. The
fact he was going was enough. “Call me as soon as you get back
home. Promise me.”

“
I will, Kay. Go ahead.
Leave now or I might not let you.”

She blew two, three, four kisses at him and
hurried out with her purse and her coat in her hand. Kennedy knew
what it was to be happy. She’d forgotten how much she truly enjoyed
this feeling.

Liam dressed. The place felt
empty and cold without Kennedy. He tried not to focus on the
separation anxiety twisting in his gut. He’d be fine. They were
fine.
I’m fine
.
The feeling of doom was just his head once again fucking with him.
So he grabbed his cane and keys and left. He needed to buy Mac her
puppy for Christmas. Kennedy had vetoed the idea but it was the
first promise he made to his little girl. He wouldn’t go back on
it. Besides, it was a hell of a lot better than some damn goldfish.
Liam got in his car and drove to Eric’s place, which wasn’t far. He
was relieved to see Eric’s motorcycle parked out front—and no other
vehicles.