Before I Let Go (15 page)

Then Eric flew into a rage himself. He wanted to know why in the hell Shelly was so concerned, and said that after five years it shouldn’t matter to her one way or the other. He told Shelly that if Nina and I were getting married tomorrow, it would be absolutely none of her business. He added that if Nina and I were comfortable being friends on any level, then all Shelly can do is stay out of it. Shelly, never one to go easy, wasn’t having it. She proceeded to curse out Nina and Eric. As soon as Amani lay down for a nap, more than an hour after things had died down, Shelly started again. She eventually threw both Eric and Nina out. Before she asked Nina to leave she turned to her baby sister and said, “I don’t know why you would keep something from me, Nina, for any reason other than you’re fucking Cory. If you are you’d better be careful, because he is a dog, just like Nate. I won’t mention it again, though, and I just hope that you have more class than to be hanging around with my leftover.”

Nina expressed to me how hurt she had been by Shelly’s words. She’d been especially stung by her hope that Nina possessed enough class not to date me. She said that she, like Eric, didn’t think that there was anything wrong with us hanging out together. She added, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything, right Cory?” she asked.

I didn’t answer that, but I did convey to Nina my dismay at being referred to by Shelly as her “leftover.” If anything, she was my leftover. I had taught that girl everything about life and relationships that she needed to know. And shit, as far as sex went, there had been no uncharted territory left for her to discover by the time we had split up.

I had forgotten that Nina was on her cellphone until I heard a horn honk. I asked where she was headed. When she replied that she didn’t know and that she was just driving, I gave her my address and convinced her to stop by, even if it was just for a little while. She agreed to come after I assured her it would be no inconvenience.
If she only knew
, I thought. When she arrived less than fifteen minutes later, I greeted her at the door with a hug.

When she entered my apartment, she nodded her head in approval. “This is a nice apartment, Cory,” she said.

“Thanks,” I said.

“It must cost a fortune to live here. Rockville is so expensive, anyway. I didn’t think they were recruiting our kind up in this neck of the woods.” She smiled. Then she added, “But I guess if you’re making enough papers to afford a spot out here, then you must be okay, huh.”

“Maybe,” I answered, smiling back. “Or maybe I just know somebody who is somebody.”

She walked around the love seat and sat down on the couch with her coat still on. “Let me take your coat,” I said. I put it on the back of one of the dining room chairs. As I walked back into the living room I turned the TV volume down and cranked up the CD player.

“So Cory, what’s up?” She said, as she looked right into my face.

“Nothing much. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and I have a little something for you. Hold tight,” I said, as I walked over to my dining room table, reached into a shopping bag, pulled out two boxes that were wrapped identically, and walked back over to Nina and sat down next to her.

“Cory, I can’t take a gift from you. I wouldn’t feel right, not having anything for you.” She paused, and went on. “I didn’t get to do much shopping for anyone this year, except for my mother and Amani. I was so broke, Cory. Why in the world would you buy me a gift? You haven’t even called me, and…”

I cut her off midsentence. “Look here, Nina. It’s not about what you have for me. I bought you something because I wanted to, because I knew that you deserved something nice. I don’t know what your man got you, but I knew that you deserved more.”

“I don’t have a man anymore, Cory,” she said, in a tone that didn’t reveal whether or not she was happy about it.

“Whatever. It doesn’t make a bit of difference to my giving you something. I just wanted you to have these things. Now open them up and stop talking,” I commanded.

She just looked at me as she began to open them. I stopped her, and said, “No here, this one first.” She obliged me. When she opened it, her eyes showed her pleasure as she pulled the last piece of wrapping paper off a bottle of Bvlgari perfume.

“Oh man, Cory, this is wonderful.” She was smiling. “I have been wanting some of this for a while, but it is very expensive. You shouldn’t have, but I am glad you did.” She laughed and said, “Thank you so much.”

“Go ahead and open that one,” I said, pointing to the bigger box.

She quickly pulled the wrapping off to reveal a purse. She just shook her head and said, “Cory, I can’t believe you did this for me. It’s a Coach. It’s gorgeous. Thank you so much. This is the sweetest thing that anyone has done for me in a really long time.”

As I looked at her surveying the bag, I stared at her pretty lips. She had on nothing but lip gloss, and that was all the makeup she needed. She was so naturally beautiful. I still didn’t know what I was doing with her. While I was still looking at her she jumped up and walked to the balcony door. “Look, Cory, it’s starting to snow. Can you believe that?”

“Yeah, the weatherman has been calling for snow the past two days. It’s coming down pretty thick, too.”

“Do you think it will stick?” she asked.

“I don’t know. It’s definitely cold enough. I probably should try and get out of here. I need to run to my sister’s house to drop off the gifts for the kids, and afterward my mother is making Christmas dinner.” I looked back outside, and there was no way I was going to do a bunch of running around in this weather. I figured that I could call Brenda to meet me at Mom’s, and that way I could kill two birds with one stone. She walked back over to where I was still standing, in front of the glass door.

“Cory, do you want some company with you while you ride? I’m not going to my mother’s. I already called her from the car and told her that I wouldn’t be coming over for dinner.”

“Sure, I’d like that a lot as a matter of fact, and I know my mom would love to see you again. But did you tell your mother why you wouldn’t be coming?”

“Somewhat. I didn’t go into the full details, but I just don’t feel like going another round with Shelly right now.”

“I understand,” I said.

After a short pause Nina took hold of my arm and asked, “Cory, why if you hadn’t bothered to call me, did you go through the hassle of buying me those gifts? Or did you buy them for someone else?”

I was a little shocked, and quickly answered. “Of course I bought them for you. If I had gotten them for someone else would I be handing them to you? They were for you. I saw them and I just wanted to give you something. Don’t make such a big deal out of it and spoil it for me, okay. As long as you like them, that is all that matters, right?”

Nina nodded her head, I think in response to me—and in time to the music. She was still holding my arm. “Cory.”

“Yes.”

“I have something for you, too. But I don’t want you to think I’m giving it to you because you bought me the gifts. If you had called me in the past couple of weeks, I’m sure I would have given it to you already. But since you didn’t call me or return my pages…”

“Nina, I had gotten a new pager from my job…”

“Shhhhhh.” She said, now holding my hand with one of hers. With the other hand, she placed a finger on my lips. “Now close your eyes,” she added.

I obeyed her request, and my eyes shut immediately. Her hand went behind my head and onto the back of my neck as she pulled my mouth to hers. Her lips melted onto mine, and they were a perfect fit.
I can’t believe I’m kissing Shelly’s little sister,
I thought. I could remember when she was a skinny little teenager with nubs on her chest and the skinniest little legs. Now she was kissing me, and I was kissing her back just as passionately. My hands were on her waist and both of hers were around my neck.

We stayed locked together for at least ten minutes, kissing like two teenagers in the back seat of a car. When we finally pulled away I asked her if she was sure about what she had done. When she kissed me again and began to unbutton my shirt I knew that she was. Clothing dropped to the floor, and before I knew it I was sitting on my couch with Nina on my lap facing me. She stared into my eyes while she started to grind and slide on top of me. She hadn’t bothered to take her panties off. With one hand I slid them to the side and entered her. I could feel the wet material of her underwear between our bodies. I took both of her breasts in my mouth at the same time. She threw her head backward and gave me a loud moan to let me know that she liked the feeling. Our bodies moved fast, then slow, for the next ten minutes, until her breaths became rapid. I knew she was ready to come, and she started crying out in Spanish the same way Shelly used to. I felt her hands reaching down between my legs caressing me as she jerked and came. When her muscles clamped down and squeezed me I couldn’t take any more, and I came inside of her.

The connection between
Nina and me made my Christmas in ways that no material gift could have. I thought it was a little strange that afterward we both seemed to feel fine about having sex—for the most part. I did feel a twinge of guilt at having been with the younger sister of my ex-fiancée. At the same time I had to admit that something so taboo was a bit of a turn-on. It was one of those things that might cross the mind of a man, though he would never intend to act on it. I had found out something about myself, since I had seized the opportunity. I obviously had a problem with respecting boundaries, but was hoping I could put my emotions and libido in check before the situation got out of hand. The lovemaking was good—but not “mind blowing” good. When a girl blows your mind the first time she has sex with you, she’s trouble. At least, that was my personal belief. Either she’s too experienced or you’re too inexperienced for her, was my philosophy on that matter. With Nina there seemed to be comfortable room for improvement. I knew she had held back a little, and I liked that. She was going to make me work to get her all.

She went with me to dinner at my mother’s house. We had a great time, as the snow continued to fall. Brenda was the only one who seemed puzzled about Nina being there with me. I saw that she repeatedly shot looks at me as if to say “What the hell is going on?” I ignored her, because I was feeling good, and so was Nina. At that point, that was all that mattered to me.

Brendan and Laney showed up for dessert, and he brought his little brother, Kenny, to play with Kyle. Brendan’s parents lived two streets over, and he made it over easily, though the weather seemed to be getting worse. He was riding with Laney because he said that he didn’t trust his Corvette in the snow. I couldn’t blame him one bit, as I wasn’t used to driving in the slushy streets anymore myself. When it was almost nine o’clock, Brenda announced that she was spending the night rather than driving home. I decided that it was getting late and was time for me to head home; plus, I was hoping to see if Nina would be in the mood to repeat our earlier escapade.

As I drove slowly around the Beltway, Nina fell asleep. I took the opportunity to call Nate, who was spending the day with Sahleen and his grandmother. I told him who I was with, and he had a million and one questions about Nina and me. I tried to speak in code, just in case Nina woke up. Nate finally gave up the hope of getting the entire story right then and there. He told me about his day’s events. He had spent the morning with India, and then told her he was headed out of town to have dinner with family so that he could have an undisturbed evening with Sahleen. It had worked for him as usual, and he and Sahleen were headed to Crystal City to Sahleen’s apartment to do a little “stocking stuffing,” he said. I hung up with Nate and saw that Nina was still sleeping. I had questions about where this was headed, but I wasn’t afraid of the possibilities.

For a second, Paula popped into my head, and I hoped that she was doing well. I wondered if she had gotten the gift that I’d sent to her office. I also thought about Darlene and wondered who she was spending the holiday with. I hoped that they both were doing fine, but they were six hundred miles away and by no means my primary concern. Nina was there next to me, and that meant a lot. As a matter of fact, I kept thinking over and over that her being there was all that mattered. She had been on my mind ever since I saw her that first night. I had been curious about Shelly, true enough, but the satisfaction that I felt looking over at Nina made me realize she was definitely who I wanted. I had tried not to admit it to myself during the previous month, but I was now prepared to admit it to Nina as soon as she woke up. I only hoped that now, since her curiosity had been satisfied, she wouldn’t be through with me, because if I had my way, I definitely wasn’t through with her.

N
ate could hear the audience booing as the ladies told their stories onstage. He was standing just behind the stage and he could see the ladies on the small TV monitor in front of him. He didn’t want to be here, and he couldn’t figure out why he had even allowed himself to be talked into coming. He knew that the whole idea had been Kim’s. It was late March, and he figured that she should have gotten over him by now. Ever since she had come to his house unannounced, only to be dissed, she had promised Nate that he would get his. Now it seemed as though her prophecy had come true. Nate could feel beads of sweat on his brow and moisture building under his shirt collar. It wasn’t like Nathan Montgomery to get nervous. He was fearless, a soldier’s soldier, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so uptight. Just as he was thinking about bolting right out of the studio, the stagehand came back and began to lead him onto the stage.

As he saw the bright lights blasting him in the face he heard Jerry Springer say, “Let’s meet Nate!” While he walked onto the stage he could see the faces of India and Sahleen there, his current loves. Kim and Erika, who were seated onstage as well, were the most recent victims of his trappings. Both had received their walking papers in an improper fashion, within twenty-four hours of one another. Kim hadn’t received a decent apology for Nate’s treatment of her since being sent away from his apartment in tears. Erika and her cousin Jay still weren’t speaking to each other after the episode in Nate’s apartment. Reluctantly, he took the empty chair. Kim and Erika were seated to his left; Sahleen and India were on his right. He was thinking,
How in the world did my shit get blown out of the water like this?

His gut tightened when he glanced over at the face of Sahleen and India. They were both scowling, and India looked as though she had already cried buckets. A sinking feeling was suffocating him as he came to the realization that Sahleen and India knew everything. Then Jerry walked over to him.

“So, Nate, you have been a very busy young man,” Jerry stated, acting as if he were deeply bothered by the accounts of Nate’s behavior.

Kim had come
out and told of how she’d met Nate at a birthday get-together for his friend Brendan one Friday night the previous year. He had been so sweet. He had taken her to Atlantic City for the weekend the day after they met. She had decided to accept his invitation to go only because she thought that he was a gentleman like Brendan. She had admitted that she’d made an extremely poor decision. At the time, though, he had just seemed so exciting and classy. He had told her that he was interested in investing in a hair salon. Since she was a top-flight hair stylist with a large clientele, he told her that she would probably make a great partner.

Kim had said that she had been “gassed up.” Jerry had asked for an explanation, and Kim had told him that she had been “gung-ho,” or really excited about everything that Nate had promised. Jerry had asked her to continue. She had told the audience about how she had sexed Nate that weekend, and she had admitted it had been really spectacular. Then she had given a sad account of the treatment that she had received during the following seven months. She had receipts for all of the presents that she had showered him with. She had said she was still paying for the televisions in his Lexus. He had run up her Discover card bill to twelve hundred bucks on the Internet, buying throwback jerseys from Mitchell & Ness. To make things worse, some chick who he had been screwing from Southeast D.C. had slashed her tires. She had known because the girl finally had come to her job and made a scene, swearing that she was carrying Nate’s baby. She had been lying, but had thoroughly embarrassed Kim in front of everyone at her job on a Saturday, when the shop had been packed.

Jerry had grimaced as the crowd oohed and aahed. She had summed up her story by telling of how she had spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day home alone, pining away after Nate had dumped her. All of her friends at the salon had sworn that Nate had timed the break-up so that he wouldn’t have to be bothered with her during the holiday season, and that as soon as Valentine’s Day had passed, he would come calling. Nate had never come calling, but what had caused Kim to call the show was that she had seen Nate with India one night, and then three days later had seen Sahleen driving his car down Georgia Avenue. After a little investigation, Kim had found out that Nate was going out with both of the women she had seen, and she had made it her personal goal to inform both of the women about what kind of person they were dealing with. She had become determined to wreck Nate’s game, and to keep him from causing more heartbreak for her sisters. Now, here she was, spilling her guts on national TV just to get revenge on Nate.

Nate merely nodded
his head as Jerry quickly gave him the condensed version of the accusations.

Jerry asked him to respond to the women.

Nate looked over at Kim and Erika, and paused. Then he looked back at Jerry and simply said, “Jerry…that bitch is lying.”

The crowd roared, and Kim flew from her seat, accompanied by Erika. They both pounced on top of Nate as he and his chair flipped backward. His legs went up into the air as he rolled to the floor behind the stage. India was screaming, while Sahleen sat motionless with her legs crossed. The camera panned in for a close-up to show the two women whaling away at Nate. He was cursing, and yelling for security to get the crazed women off him.

The show broke for a commercial, and order was restored. When they came back from the break, Nate was back in his seat. Kim and Erika had been removed from the stage. His shirt had been ripped to shreds and his face was scratched up. He was now seated between Sahleen and India. He was trying to catch his breath, and then Jerry walked up to the stage.

“Nate,” Jerry said, “naturally you understand why those ladies were so upset. We found out about you and Erika and, I should say, Erika’s cousin as well.” Jerry turned and worked the audience. He said, “Nate, these ladies each have something to say to you, and I think that now is as good a time as any for you to be honest with them. Do you think that you can do that?”

“Yeah, Jerry, I can do that,” Nate muttered.

“Well, I’m going to let the two ladies take over.” Jerry folded his arms and said, “Sahleen, you go first.” Then he stepped off to the side of the stage.

Sahleen turned to position her body toward Nate while still sitting with her legs crossed. “Nate,” she said, “I just want to know why you have been playing these games with me.”

Nate tried to start explaining, but no words came out. Sahleen went on. “Nate, we’ve been seeing each other for four months now. Every day that I am in town I spend with you. Don’t I?”

Nate nodded yes.

“Don’t I make you happy? Don’t I please you good enough, Nate?”

Nate nodded yes again, but his eyes were facing the ground. He looked as ashamed as a little boy who had just peed his pants in front of the class.

“Have I spent all of your money, Nate?” He shook his head no. Sahleen rambled on. “Do you have any idea of the caliber of men that would do anything, including forsaking all other women, just to be with me, Nate?” She paused, gritted her teeth, and continued. “And it’s not just because I’m beautiful, either. It’s because I am a decent human being, Nate, and worthy of the same respect and devotion that I give…you selfish son of a bitch.”

She looked as though she was preparing to swing at Nate as well, and Jerry moved back to the stage. “Nate. What do you have to say? From what it sounds like to me, you obviously have to be a smooth talker. So where is all of that right now? You have to give some explanation…I mean, for cryin’ out loud, Nate, how do you explain this infantile, selfish behavior?”

“Wait a minute, Jerry,” India interrupted. “I have something to say before he says anything.” She stood up. “Nate, I trusted you, and apparently all you have given me are lies. I have been available to you night and day. Obviously, I am nothing to you but a backup for when Mrs. Fly Thang isn’t available.” Sahleen looked up as if to say, I know that you aren’t talking about me. India saw Sahleen’s body language, and her voice dropped a few octaves as if she were possessed, and she said to Sahleen, “Oh bitch, believe me, you would want to stay in your seat unless you want some of what Nate is going to get.”

“Hold up! Why you gonna stand up here and threaten me like that? It ain’t even like that, India. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody. I mean, I just…I really do care, but…” Nate was fumbling his sentences as if they were burning hot French fries on his tongue.

“Shut up!” India yelled. She was standing over Nate now. “You have done it this time, fool. I was willing to be there for you. I tried to take you to church, to give your sorry ass a chance at redemption, but nooooo. You just had to stay stuck in your own ways. I even gave myself to you. I had taken a vow of celibacy, damn you. You with your seductive hands and long tongue. Oooohh, you make me so sick. I made a vow that the next man I gave my body to would be my husband, but you have made a liar out of me. But this is the last time you make a fool out of me or anyone else,” India shouted as she stepped back. She then reached into her purse, which was on the floor next to her seat. Nate watched stunned as she pulled out a chrome revolver. Nate leaned back in his seat and Sahleen screamed. “Now Nate, before I do this I want you to take a look in that audience. Look real closely.”

Nate was panting, and said, “India, c’mon now, don’t do anything crazy and get yourself into trouble. Really…I’m not worth it.” His eyes showed pure fear.

“Oh, I know you’re not worth it, but I’ll tell you what. I’ll let the audience decide. How ’bout that, Nate?”

“Jerry, Jerrrrry!” Nate yelled out.

Jerry Springer was running up the steps and out of the studio, followed by his security guards.

India pointed the gun straight at Nate’s face. The tip was less than three feet away from his nose. Then she turned to the audience with the gun still pointed at Nate. “Ladies, what do you think I should do? Should this bastard live or die? I’m going to let you all decide.”

Nate looked around the barrel of the gun and into the audience. Suddenly the lights that were so bright, that they had kept him from making out the faces in the crowd, began to dim. He could make out face after face. He began to shiver when he realized that the audience was filled with all of the women that he had dogged out in his illustrious past. There was Nadiya, the girl who stood up her fiancée at the altar thinking that she and Nate were going to be together, only to find out that he really wanted to sleep with her friend Jennifer. Next to her he made out the face of Frances, the waitress he had promised to introduce to a friend in the recording industry but had never called after he’d gotten the sex. Next there was Julianne, the personal trainer. She had her back to Nate. She had claimed that Nate only recognized her from the backside. He had promised her it would only hurt a little. He had lied. Even Brenda was in the audience. It had been their little secret, but Nate had had the nerve to videotape her to prove to Brendan that he’d hit it. If Cory ever found out, he would kill Nate. He eventually gave Brenda the tape after she’d found out from Brendan what he’d done.

The audience began to chant, “Shoot him. Shoot him. Shoot him.” As the audience grew louder and louder Nate squirmed and sweated.

India said to Nate, “Sorry, Nate. The verdict is in…and unfortunately you lose.”

“Please,” Nate begged. “Please don’t shoot me, India.” Nate wanted to get up and run but he couldn’t move. He turned to Sahleen and said, “Sahleen, I am so sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you. I love you, baby.” Nate couldn’t believe he was saying those words, but he knew he was about to die. So he said it again and again as he covered his face. “I do love you, Sahleen. I do.”

Sahleen smiled and pulled Nate’s hands from his face. He fought the force of her pulling and tried to resist. Then she spoke loudly as she grabbed his hands, “Nate. Nate. Wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”

Nate’s hands finally gave in as he woke up. His body was drenched with sweat. He had fallen asleep with the thermostat set at 80 degrees. Sahleen, thinking that Nate was cold, didn’t bother to change it. As he came to his senses, he felt a sense of relief.
It was just a dream
, he thought.
No more of that damned Domino’s Pizza after eleven
.

“What were you dreaming about, baby? You started moving really wild, and talking in your sleep,” Sahleen asked, trying to hold back a grin.

“What the hell are you smiling for?” Nate snapped. He was still on edge from his
Springer
nightmare. He jumped out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. He had never told Sahleen that he loved her. It had only been four months, but now she had reason to believe that Nate was more smitten than he would ever let on. Nate came back from the bathroom, after turning the heat down and cracking the window slightly. He crawled back into the bed and attempted to go back to sleep. It was only eight-fifteen. Much too early to rise on a Saturday morning. Sahleen, on the other hand, was an early riser, and she had been up for almost an hour. She didn’t bother Nate, though, as he lay still in the bed drifting back to sleep. Instead, she just sat up watching him and trying to make sense of the words he had spoken in his dream. He had definitely said that he loved her. Of course, it was in his sleep, and Sahleen was left wondering how much credibility to lend to a subconscious “I love you.”

It still was nice to hear
, she thought, as she pulled the comforter over her feet. There was a draft blowing into the room through the window. Sahleen was just about to close it when Nate turned over. She saw that he was still sweating a little. She wiped the moisture from his forehead with her robe, which was on top of the covers. She then slid down under the covers and pressed her body close to his. Even though he had been sweating quite a bit, he still smelled like the Dove body wash he scrubbed with twice a day. Sahleen felt herself warming up from Nate’s body heat, and she hoped that he wasn’t coming down with something. If he were, she would be there to take care of him, if he allowed her to.