Bedding The Bodyguard (13 page)

He’d hurt her by closing up. And that was the last thing he’d wanted to do.

He headed out, closing the door of his own cabin behind him. At the base of her porch, he stopped. “You shouldn’t be out here alone.” His words were quiet but they carried.

Her body stiffened. “I don’t need you telling me where to be, or where I shouldn’t be.”

He stepped up onto the porch and moved in front of her. “I’m just trying to help you.”

Kat drew the blanket around herself, her pale fingers clutching it against her chest. “Well, don’t. I didn’t come here to be ordered around and made to feel like I’m helpless and too stupid to take care of myself. Go away.”

Annoyance hit at her brusque order. He clenched his fists, then turned away. But he didn’t walk away. He took a deep breath and was about to turn back around when she said, “Wait. I’m sorry.”

She sighed, letting the blanket slide down over her shoulders. “It really hurt when you just closed up and walked away. I know it probably shouldn’t have but it did.”

Luke turned. Her face showed stark truth. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Kat. I just don’t share well. Especially about my parents.”

“Neither do I.”

And yet she had shared with him. She’d told him about her mother, something she’d thus far managed to keep a secret. He considered that.

Kat leaned forward. Her hair shone in the moonlight. Her profile, flawless and lovely, made his heart beat faster. “I care about you, Luke. If you don’t feel comfortable opening up with me then don’t, but don’t
not
do it out of habit. Don’t cut me to the bone just to keep from talking about it because that is not fair.”

He stared at her. Thought about the handful of people he’d truly trusted in his life enough to discuss his feelings with. And realized he wanted to talk to Kat. She was right—he’d been holding back because it was what he was used to, because he was used to protecting himself from the pain. Maybe sharing that pain with her was the best way to let it go. “My dad died in the line of duty,” he said, surprising himself at the words coming out of his mouth. “It was hard and painful. His partner let him down.”

“I’m so sorry, Luke.”

He nodded. “They answered a domestic abuse call and separated the parties. My dad interviewed the wife while his partner was supposed to interview the husband. His partner took a break and went outside to smoke a cigarette, leaving the husband unattended for a minute. It was just that stupid. The guy had hidden a gun and got to it. Got to my dad. Dad’s partner should have been there. He wasn’t. Dad was shot because his partner wasn’t there to protect him.”

Kat cried out. “Oh baby, I’m so so sorry.”

He closed his eyes, and before he knew it, she’d risen from her chair and pulled him close. Automatically, his arms went around her, and he relished her closeness. The warmth and scent of her. The way he could feel her heartbeat against his own.

She pulled back slightly so she could look into his eyes. “How old were you?”

This was where he usually hit the panic and eject button. Hard.

Her luminous eyes were fastened to his and he saw something in her expression he had never seen before. Empathy. Not pity, not a need to hear the gory details. Just empathy.

Of course she had empathy. She’d lost her parents too. Her mother was still living, in a fashion, but the life she led was extremely limited. He swallowed hard. “I was twelve. My mom didn’t deal with it well. That’s an understatement. She literally gave up on life. Withered away. She was only a ghost of the woman she’d been. Five years ago, she died one night while driving home. Single car collision. There’s no evidence that it was deliberate but in our hearts, my sister and I know she just didn’t want to live another day without Dad.”

“Luke,” she whispered. He swallowed hard and this time
he
pulled her in close. Needing to hold on to something. Needing to hold on to
her
. She gave him what he needed, murmuring sweet sounds of comfort and rubbing his back until he was able to push the bad memories and grief to a familiar place that always ached but was manageable.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you go back there, if only for one second.”

“It’s okay. You were right. It’s what’s inside me. It’s always inside me. Hiding it doesn’t make it go away.”

When he pulled back, he saw the tears in her eyes. Leaning forward, he kissed them away. “It’s okay, angel. I mean it. It felt good to share with you. Knowing you care, it eases the pain a little. But what about you? I see the pain inside you. About your mom. But about your dad, too. What happened to him?”

Her eyes flooded with tears again, and the way her face crumpled nearly broke his heart. “My dad was a politician. We had bodyguards but they weren’t enough. He was killed, and so was his bodyguard. My mother was seriously wounded and I almost lost her too.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.” He hugged her. Tried to give her the same comfort that she’d given him. Yet part of him was focused on what she’d revealed about her father’s bodyguard and how it influenced her actions. He felt guilty because of it, but he couldn’t ignore it either. “And now you don’t trust bodyguards?”

She laughed but the sound was flat, humorless. “It’s not that I don’t trust all bodyguards, though I already told you about the one who abandoned me to get drunk. It’s just…I think they provide a false sense of security. And I don’t like thinking that anyone might die because of me.”

“But that’s a chance bodyguards willingly take on, Kat. It’s their job to protect others, and if they’re trained, if they’re good, most of the time they succeed.”

“I’m sure they do. But I don’t want to live like that. I shouldn’t
have
to live in fear. I shouldn’t need a man to watch over me every moment of the day. It’s not right. It fosters dependence. Weakness. I don’t want to be weak or depend on anyone else. I’m sorry to say this, but if your father hadn’t depended on his partner for backup…”

Damn it, hoisted with his own petard, he thought. “My dad’s partner let him down. There’s always a risk of that happening. You just have to trust the right person, the one born to protect others. The one truly committed to protecting
you
.”

She just pulled away and shrugged, as if conceding his point and dismissing it all at the same time.

She must have sensed his frustration because she threw up her hands. “I’m sorry. I guess I don’t like giving up control. Maybe it’s as simple as that.”

“You gave up control to me in bed.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Well for one thing, here, in this place, it’s just the two of us. Out there, there are too many unknowns. Good cops, bad cops. Competent bodyguards, incompetent ones. Fans who love you, and fans who become stalkers.”

“Which makes the notion that you can control things every minute of every day without help when you need it even more ridiculous.”

“Maybe. But I can count on myself. I know my weaknesses and strengths. I know me.”

“Then listen to yourself. Don’t let your pride or your fear of relying on others get in the way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yes, you hired a bodyguard that let you down. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again. You don’t trust your instincts.”

“I do!”

“Kat, you knew you should have walked away from those men by the boat. Why didn’t you?”

* * *

Kat stared at Luke silently, dumbfounded by his accusation and yes, a little afraid what he was saying was true. “I told you. I thought it would be fine. That they’d catcall but let me pass.”

“Is that what your instincts told you, or what you convinced yourself because you couldn’t stand the thought of them impinging on your freedom?”

“Maybe it was both. Yes, part of it was pride and not wanting to give in and wanting to prove I can live a normal life. If I start giving in to fear, there’s no telling how far I’ll take it. Look what’s happened to my mother!”

“I get that. But you’re not your mother. Something terrible happened to you less than a week ago, but you haven’t locked yourself inside and thrown away the key.”

“But I did. I came here and did exactly that for three days straight.”

“So why are you still here? Why, at a time when you’ve been threatened and almost run off the road, would you leave all safety behind by potentially exposing yourself to even more danger.”

“I got away from danger. I’m
hiding
from danger!”

“Maybe at first you were hiding. But since then—you said it yourself, you’re trying to be normal. To prove you can be. That’s why you’re here, Kat, and I played into that fantasy last night and it worked out fine. You had a great time even though I was there with you. How would that have changed if I’d been a bodyguard?”

She narrowed her eyes. “I thought we were on a date. A normal date. Maybe I was wrong.”

“Kat, you’re
not
normal. You never will be, certainly not as long as you stay in acting. So what do you want? To be truly normal? To blend into obscurity? Or to continue acting, only feel safe enough that you can actually enjoy the freedom that you want so badly?”

God, he was asking hard questions and she didn’t have the answers. On the one hand, she loved acting. She was good at it. But being in a career that required constant security seemed plain wrong. Look what happened to her father…

He took her hands in his. “What kind of life do you want to have, Kat?”

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. It was such a huge question, one that made her head hurt. “Can we not talk about that right now?”

“You’ll need to answer the questions sometime.”

“But not now. Right now, I want something different.” Determined to change the subject, she hooked her arms around his neck and plastered her body to his. He sucked in a breath and automatically dropped his hands to her waist.

“Distracting me with sex, Ms. Bailey?”

“Not
just
sex,” she said. “I want to spend time with you. Talking to you. Touching you. Just being with you. I know our time together here is limited, that eventually I’ll have to answer those questions you were asking, but for now… Can we just be together?”

His gaze flitted to her mouth. “Let’s start now.” His hands ran up her back, his fingers pressing into the high knobs of her spine. Her pelvis tilted upward and met his. His hardness pressed against her body, awakening more lust.

He moved slowly, his body dipping and swaying. Hers followed. Soon they were dancing together on her deck, wrapped in each other’s arms. His scent filled her nose, and his chest, broad and strong, flattened her breasts. Her nipples brushed against his shirt, gently abraded by the fabric of her thin top. The chill of the night crept over their limbs but they were too heated to notice.

It was magical and sweet. Kat tilted her head back and their mouths met. His hands slid back to her waist, the weight and heat of them so right on her skin. His fingers slid her tank top upward, baring her toned belly to the night air, then her bare breasts. His tongue stroked the high peaks of her nipples while he squeezed the firm globes around them.

Kat buried her fingers in his thick hair. Her back arched and she whimpered as his fingers slid up the span of her ribs then down again before slipping under the edge of her yoga pants. Her breath caught and held as he moved his hand to the apex of her thighs and cupped her. She cried out, her head falling back farther.

His nails scraped along her waist and up to her chest. They ran along the curves of her breasts, bringing tingling blood to the surface and sending fresh sensation through her body, making her tremble.

Never breaking their kiss, Luke picked her up and carried her into her cabin, slamming the door behind them.

Once they were inside, Luke settled Kat on her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist while she pushed up on her toes and put the palms of her hands against his chest. She could actually feel the pulsing of his heart through his shirt.

Her tongue traced along his bottom lip. He moaned and abandoned her mouth to sprinkle soft kisses on her neck as he caressed her back, then her shoulder, then her ass before trailing his hands up her body again and finally burying them in her hair. He tugged on her lightly, setting her nerve endings on fire.

Kat placed her hands on his shoulders, gripping him tightly even as her hips took on a mind of their own, grinding against his growing erection. He kissed up her neck and across her jaw before letting his lips hover just above her mouth. She whimpered and he grinned just before crushing his mouth against hers. His tongue thrust into her mouth, claiming her in a way that was perfect. The kiss went from hot to raging inferno in seconds.

When he finally pulled back, they both struggled for breath. The blood that coursed through her veins was so hot, she felt like she might spontaneously combust.

“Luke, make love to me, please.”

Smiling, he kissed the side of her face. “My pleasure.” He led her to the bed, then bent at the knees and locked his big arms underneath her, lifting her up off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they kissed again before he spread her out on the bed, stripped her to her bra and thong and then began removing his own clothes. She watched his beautiful, hard body come into view, pouting when he left his boxer-briefs on. But her pout quickly vanished when he leaned down to unfasten her bra. As soon as he had it off, he cupped her breasts. She found the elastic band of his boxers and tugged them down, setting his erection free.

His cock grazed her hip, and Luke sucked in a hard breath. When she moved to take him in her hand, however, he shook his head and moved away. He yanked off her thong and kissed her thighs before pushing them wide. She cried out as his lips and tongue began an all-out assault. He swiped his tongue expertly along her folds, dipping in between them just slightly to skim her swollen clit. Then, gripping her hips, he drew her down to his face as he plunged his tongue up inside of her in one long, probing thrust.

Kat threw her head back against the pillow, gripped the covers beneath her and dug her heels into the mattress. Sliding his hands underneath her ass, Luke tilted her hips up, angling them where he wanted so his tongue could delve deeper, and thrust harder and faster. Kat moaned in ecstasy, circling her hips against his face, unable to believe the sounds and pleas that were falling from her lips. Luke pulled his head up and ran his tongue across his lips, the look in his eyes communicating both his pleasure and possession before he delved back between her thighs, this time finding her clit and gently nibbling on it.