Bedding The Bodyguard (12 page)

He waited for the sound of her opening the front door, prepared to go after her if she did, but the sound never came. After several minutes, he got up and pulled on his jeans without bothering to button them. He did, however, retrieve the gun and leg harness he’d slipped under the bed earlier, when she’d been busy pouring them wine in the kitchen. After quickly arming himself and concealing the weapon with his pant leg, he went after her. He paused in the bedroom doorway when he saw her curled up on the sofa, staring out the window.

“Having regrets?” he said quietly, causing her to jump.

She laid her hand on her chest and laughed nervously. “God, you scared me.”

Raising one arm, he gripped the doorjamb, and waited.

She bit her lip, then shook her head. “No regrets,” she said.

Her answer caused the tension in his chest to loosen. “Then what?”

“I’m just feeling anxious. It’s not unusual. I tend to run things through my brain, both good and bad, and it makes it hard to sleep sometimes.”

Hating the idea of her feeling anxious, he moved to sit beside her. When he held out his arms, she immediately sank into him. He sighed and tightened his arms around her.

“Sometimes it helps to talk things out. What are you feeling anxious about?”

She pulled back, gazed into his eyes, and swallowed hard. For several seconds, the silence throbbed between them, and he mentally urged,
Come on, angel. Confide in me. Share your troubles and let me help.

Instead, she just gave a half shrug and said, “Well, one thing I’m worrying about is easy to fix. Bella.”

His brows shot up. “What about her?” He ran a hand down her back, disappointed that she obviously didn’t trust him enough to share what was really bothering her but still needing that physical connection.

“Bella’s been alone for a while now and as much as I’d love to fall asleep in your arms, we should probably take her for a walk, don’t you think? And who knows, maybe the cool night air will invigorate and inspire us.”

“I’m pretty invigorated and inspired right now.”

She gave him a quick kiss. “Come on. Walk. Then bed.”

“You drive a hard bargain.”

* * *

As Luke rose to grab a shirt, Kat couldn’t help but admire Luke’s magnificent body, highlighted by the dim light. His powerful muscles flexed and snapped, and his quick movements were slow but steady. Her belly fluttered and renewed desire stroked her senses.

For a moment she was tempted to pull him back into bed, but she figured the walk would be good for her. It would help clear her head and put things into perspective. As he’d pointed out, they barely knew each other. Yes, he was amazing. And yes, they’d had amazing sex. But there was no reason to think that it was going to be more than that.

To her amazement, that’s what had been making her anxious as she’d lain in bed with him. She had a stalker threatening her and had been almost run off the road several days ago, but the thing that was keeping her up and occupying her thoughts was Luke and her fear that this night was all she was ever going to have with him.

After they were dressed, they headed to Luke’s cabin, where Bella greeted them affectionately. A minute later, they set off down the trail, Luke holding Bella’s leash.

Night had fallen and the trail hung deserted and silent around them. Their feet crunched on the occasional fallen twig. Luke whistled long and low, and a night bird answered, making Kat clap her hands in delight. “Do it again.”

Bella, with her usual labradoodle aplomb, ignored the whistles that were not directed at her, earning her a pat on the head from Kat. Luke slid an arm around Kat’s neck and she leaned into his body, letting her arm find his waist and rest there. It was a comfortable thing, and she was shocked by how easy it was to be with him.

“I feel so at home here. So at peace.”

“I take it your regular life isn’t peaceful?”

Kat shrugged. “Acting brings me peace, whether I’m in a studio or running through the jungle trying to escape something chasing me. It’s the only thing I’ve done where I feel I’m giving something to the world but giving myself just as much, if not more. Corny, I know. I said that once to a reporter and she winced. Like, she pulled this huge grimace. I could tell she thought I was being a haughty bitch and maybe I was. But that’s not how I meant it. It’s just, as weird as it sounds, it’s only by pretending to be someone else that I can show the world who I truly am. It’s why I keep doing it, even if part of me has started to hate the way it impacts my life when I’m off the set. And I’m not even talking about the person threatening me.”

Luke looked up at the sky then at her. “You mean the lack of privacy in general.”

He’d hit the nail on the head. “I’m grateful that I have fans, of course, but I can’t help feeling that I bare so much of myself for my movies, I have a right to keep some of my life just for myself. For those I love.”

“You do. But people would have a hard time overlooking you no matter what you did, Kat.” He tossed a stick for Bella and released her leash to allow her to go get it. “So what are you going to do? When you’re done hiding out here, I mean.”

“I’m thinking about going back to school. Did you go to college?”

* * *

At Kat’s question, Luke hesitated, knowing from what she’d said earlier that she’d seen him wearing his dad’s old LAPD shirt and believed he was a cop. Finally, he said, “Sure.”

“Which one?”

“The college of hard knocks.”

She laughed and Luke smiled.

“I started college but never graduated. I’ve always been good with my hands and more streets smart than book smart. Taking a job protecting others just seemed the thing to do,” he said, watching her carefully.

“It’s an honorable profession,” she said.

"Yeah,” he said, the guilt almost crushing him. “So have you talked to anyone about wanting to go back to college? Friends? Family?”

“My friend Ben. And my mom. She’d love it if I went back to school but that’s more because she fears the world and thinks academia is at least a little safer living than being an actress. If it was up to her, though, she’d have me take classes online.”

“Why’s that?”

“She’s agoraphobic. Rarely leaves the house.”

"I’m sorry to hear that. Does she live with you?”

Kat shook her head. “She lives by herself. I see her a lot. I also make sure she has everything she needs to be comfortable.”

"Hmm.”

“What?”

“I know you mean well, but it sounds like you’re feeding her illness a bit, making it easier for her to stay home.”

She frowned. “I never thought of it that way.”

“Have you tried to get her some professional help? Maybe she needs an incentive to leave the house. No matter how luxurious her home is she’s still a prisoner in it, and she has to know that.”

“She saw a few therapists after my father died. It hasn’t really helped.” She cleared her throat. “What about you? What was your dad like?”

Before he could stop them, he felt his mental shields go up. “I already told you, he was great.” He hadn’t meant to sound so short with her. She’d just shared something huge about her mom, so it was only natural she’d be curious about his parents, but he just didn’t want to go there.

“Oh. What about your mom? Is she still alive?”

“No,” he clipped.

She placed a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I saw the picture of you and your mom inside your cabin. She was beautiful. What was she like?”

His entire body stiffened and he suspected his expression closed off even more. “I don’t want to talk about my mom.”

She withdrew her hand. Bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—”

He shook his head, then whistled for Bella. Without looking at her, he said, “Sorry. But I need to get her fed and watered.”

“Right,” Kat said, the hurt evident in her voice.

Luke sighed then looked at her. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he didn’t want to go down the road she was leading him down. Hell, she didn’t even really know him, so it didn’t make sense to share something so painful with her. As Bella trotted toward them, he tried to explain. “Look, Kat, I really like you. But it’s a little early to be baring our hearts to one another.”

Kat’s mouth fell open. “Too early since we’ve only known each other a short time? Or too early because all I am to you is a woman you slept with?”

Luke frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”

“No?” she said.

“No,” he snapped. “But if you think I’m a touchy-feely guy who’s going to pour his guts out to you about something as personal as my parents’ deaths, you’re wrong.”

She physically retreated from him. Took several steps back even as she lifted her chin and planted her fists on her hips. “That’s fine. But sharing my body with someone generally means pouring our guts out is the natural next step. If you’re not open to that, maybe spending additional time together would be a mistake.”

He wanted to close the distance she’d put between them. Kiss her until she forgot what they were arguing about. But he knew he didn’t have that right. “Maybe you’re right, Kat. Like I said, I have Bella to tend to. Good night.”

As Luke made his way into his cabin and went inside, closing the door softly behind him, Kat stared at him open mouthed. Confused and hurt, she made her way to her own place. Then she threw up her hands. “Are you kidding me?”

Kat spoke the words to her empty living room. Her emotions swung rapidly between anger and confusion.

Men were not like women. She knew that. She got it. But Luke had done a complete one-eighty out there on their walk. He’d gone from compassionate, fun and sexy guy to rude and angry jerk.

If he hadn’t wanted to talk about his father and mother, she could understand that. Talking about her parents was difficult, too, but she’d honestly believed that he cared about her and that she could trust him enough to share a bit about herself. That what they’d shared together had meant something meaningful to him.

Her anger deflated.

That was how
she’d
felt, but they’d really just met. She shouldn’t be angry with him for not wanting to open up to her. Just because he thought she was “special” didn’t mean he wanted anything more than sex from her.

On the other hand, she’d spoken the truth before he’d left. His behavior just now was a pretty good sign that things had gone as far as they should between them.

She bit her lip and turned in a slow circle. The cabin seemed too small, and too confining. She could see the bed from where she stood, the rumpled covers and the messy sheets.

Sex with Luke had been everything she had imagined it would be. Of course, just as she’d been trying to tell herself before they’d gone on their walk, that didn’t mean they were committing to one another or that she suddenly had carte blanche to pry into his life. But she hadn’t counted on him suddenly clamming up and running away over a simple question, nor had she counted on her intense and sudden attraction making her so vulnerable, or chatty about her life.

Kat swore a few times, went to the kitchen, and found the glasses of wine she’d poured earlier. She took only a few sips before abandoning the wine to pace.

What was he doing right now? She missed him already, and he’d barely left. It was crazy, the way he made her feel for him.

It was obvious she’d fallen for him in a big way. That she trusted him. That she wanted to be more to him than a physical outlet. But it was equally as obvious he didn’t feel the same way she did.

She sighed, grabbed a thin blanket off the end of the sofa, wrapped it around herself to protect her body from the chill settling over the night and headed outside to drink her wine and think.

* * *

Luke cursed under his breath even as he kept his gaze on Kat as she walked into her own cabin. His jaw worked under tense muscles. He got Bella inside, fed and watered, and then he sat on the couch, his face in his hands.

What the hell was going on with him? They’d had amazing sex. They’d been talking, and just enjoying their walk. She was opening herself up to him, sharing about her family, and then, as soon as she’d asked him about his mother, he’d freaked.

And all because she expected him to open up about himself. Of course that’s what she’d expected. Even if they hadn’t fucked, that was what normal human beings did. It would hurt to go there, yes, but even more than that, sharing something so private was a little hard to do considering he was deceiving her. Any details he shared about himself would merely highlight every lie he’d led her to believe—including the fact that he was a cop.

He was scared.

Scared of how out of control his feelings for Kat had gotten in such a short time.

He was used to being in charge. He was used to having the answers. He was always the solution, never the problem. It was why he did what he did.

But from the moment he’d met her, Kat had defied all expectations.

After seeing her at Hang Tough Café, he’d convinced himself she’d be a bratty careless woman who loved fame and money. He’d expected her to be shallow, and half-crazy like most celebrities.

Instead, she was intelligent, warm, kind, and genuine. She was as erotic as he had imagined but she was also sweet. She asked questions. Too many questions.

Even if she did forgive him for lying to her, what was going to happen once they were back in the real world? Sure, she talked about giving up Hollywood to go back to school, but what were the chances of that? She would always be the famous movie star and he would always be the bodyguard wanting to keep her safe. What if they couldn’t reconcile those two things?

Taking a deep breath, he walked to the window and saw that she was now sitting outside, on her porch, her back to his cabin. She was wrapped in a thin blanket, her feet on the rail.

She might as well tack a sign on the door that said
kill me if you want to
. But from her defeated posture, he got the real message loud and clear.