Bedding The Biker Next Door (16 page)

Looking around the house full of furniture and boxes, a wave of melancholy rose into her throat. She wasn’t surprised to be sad—Stella may not have been her mother, but the woman had acted motherly toward her, always making sure she was okay, always baking cookies for Jill’s kids, always proudly talking about her son—

Before she could change her mind, she went with her instincts by grabbing her keys and heading for the door.

This is it, Jill. Just say goodbye, tell him you’ll stay in touch, and get the hell out of there.

At the front door, she turned around and held out her hand. “Well, Cole. It was wonderful meeting you. I’m so glad I was able to help you, and I do wish you the best of luck with all your endeavors.”

Cole stared at her, hands on his hips. “So, that’s it? You sound like you just informed me you won’t be hiring me.”

Jill sagged. “Cole, don’t make this difficult, please. How else am I supposed to say goodbye?”

“With a hug maybe? A long, sweet kiss? A night together, enjoying what we have for just a little while longer? I dunno. Is that stupid of me to think?” He crossed his arms over his broad chest.

“That would only make things harder, Cole, and you know it. I should be going. I have to get things ready for the kids in the morning.” She brought her hand down. If he wasn’t going to take it, then this ending was turning out worse than expected.

“Jill…”

She opened the door but couldn’t bring herself to step outside. She just stood there, wanting to cry. She’d tried to be distant and failed, and she’d tried to let him into her heart and failed.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

“Would you just listen to me, please?” His voice grew husky. “Jill, you’ve been distant ever since I got the phone call about leaving tomorrow.”

Jill whirled around. “Was I supposed to jump for joy? Do cartwheels? You tell me, Cole. How should I have reacted? How should I have felt knowing that in less than twenty-four hours, the man who’s made me laugh and cry, who’s filled my soul, would be leaving? I mean, I got into this knowing you’d be taking off. I’d prepared myself. But even so, it hurts.”

His eyes flared at her words. Something in his face softened, relieved. “Stay.”

“So you can squeeze one more fun time out of me before you go? Is that it?” She knew she was being difficult and unreasonable, but she just couldn’t see the good in dragging this out any further. The pressure behind her eyes was too much, and her hands flew to her face to cover up her tears.

She felt his soft, warm hands covering hers. Gently, he pulled her hands away, exposing her mess of a face. He lifted one of her hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “So I can make love to you, Jill,” he whispered against her hand. “Even if it is just one more time. Please stay.”

Feeling his mouth on her skin sparked her desire on top of every other emotion she was feeling. They stood still for a minute, looking into each other’s eyes, until he pulled her close to kiss her. It felt like a hello and goodbye mixed together, slow and sweet, savoring. He touched her lips lightly at first, softly searching, and then deepened the kiss. Behind her, she heard the front door close as he pushed it shut.

Maybe she’d never learn. Maybe this was life, these moments of heartache, and she had to live them whether she liked it or not. Ignoring them was even more difficult.

She slid her hands up his side and broad back, bringing them closer together as he enveloped her in his arms. They kissed, scrambling through the living room and hitting a wall—literally—until she couldn’t take the need anymore and pressed her hips against his.

What was he thinking? Feeling? Had he deliberately used the words “make love” rather than “have sex?” Was he acknowledging he had feelings for her?

She pulled away to look at him, to scan his eyes and read his intentions, but she couldn’t tell. He pulled her back in, dropping his mouth to her neck, and she moaned.

Cole kissed around the neckline of her shirt before pulling it off, then kissed trails around her bra. He traced her skin with his fingers, dropping soft kisses here and there, leading her toward his bedroom, which still had the linens from last night.

As she fell back on the bed, he knelt over her, kissing a line across her stomach, just above her jeans. Aching for him, Jill propped herself up on her elbows and watched as he undid her zipper with his teeth. He pulled the open jeans a bit lower, then grazed her lower stomach with his mouth, his tongue caressing in circles, stopping only to slowly pull her jeans down her legs. His mouth followed, tasting every inch of her. She could hardly hold still and squirmed with desire.

Despite her pleas, whimpers, and moans, Cole took his time, tantalizing and torturing her. After kissing her legs for what felt like an eternity, he finally made his way to her panties, sliding them down partway with his teeth, then kneading through the cloth with his fingers on her sensitive areas. She pushed against his mouth, wanting more. Wanting her clothes off. Wanting him to make love to her for hours.

Pushed to her limit, she gripped him by the hair and wrapped her legs around his torso. Finally, he removed her panties completely. When she was naked, she sat up, reaching to take his clothes off, when Cole read her mind and pulled his shirt off.

She expected him to come right back, but instead he paused, taking in the sight of her, his chest rising and falling rapidly, like he’d been running. He was a glorious sight—all muscled frame and artful tattoos. Knowing she might not have this chance ever again, she emblazoned the image of him onto her brain.

Finally, he pulled off his jeans and crawled over to her naked, meeting her mouth-to-mouth for a long, wild kiss. Jill’s body trembled for him, but still, he kissed her and held her close.

“I want you to remember this,” he whispered by her ear. “I want you to remember
me
.”

Oh, she would. But would he remember her?

She promised herself she would make him remember her, leave a beautiful lasting impression on him forever. Opening her legs seductively, she invited him in, and he slid into her, sending ripples of pleasure up her body, which swelled to the breaking point. She gripped him tighter than ever before. “Cole!” She fell back on the bed, panting, savoring every last moment.

When she reopened her eyes, Cole hovered over her with a wide smile. “The night’s still young, Jill. And I intend to make the most of every second.”

“I want you to,” she said, flipping him over, straddling him, taking in his awestruck smile. “Every precious second.”

Chapter Fourteen

Cole’s alarm tone went off just as the sun began streaming in through the blinds. His eyes opened slightly, and he ran his hand across the bed. It was empty.

“Jill?”

He shot up in bed and looked around in the early morning light. Was she in the bathroom, or had she already…left? He checked the floor. Her clothes were gone. He let out a slow, shaky breath, unsure what his heart was feeling. He’d only known her a few days. How was it possible for one woman to entrench herself so deeply inside him?

He tried reminding himself what he knew was smart—
don’t get attached to anyone. You don’t want responsibility that will tie you down just when you have the chance to experience complete freedom again
. But one, nagging fact remained—

He wanted freedom but he also wanted Jill.

He threw himself back on his pillow, reminding himself they lived in different worlds with different lifestyles. She was completely dedicated to her daycare and her business partner, so Cole doubted she’d consider relocating. Why would she for him, anyway? He was a reckless biker who picked up girls from bars and took comfort from them when he needed it but was too selfish to change his life to accommodate them for anything more.

No, she’d done the smart thing and cut him loose.
Good girl, Jill.

Several hours later, he took one last lingering look around the empty house, then closed the front door with a heavy heart.
I’ll miss you, Mom.
A small sense of accomplishment comforted him. He’d done it; he’d come here and had taken care of things, with Jill’s help.

And he was going to miss her, too.

The movers picked up the last of the boxes Cole had set outside for them. He shook his keys, ready to get his Harley when he saw Jill watering some potted plants on her front stoop. His heart jumped. “Good morning!”

She stiffened and shot him a dim smile. “You off?” she asked politely.

So this was how she was going to handle things, pretending that his leaving meant nothing. That their time together had already been forgotten.

“I’m on my way out,” he said, gesturing to the moving truck. “But I wanted to say thank you. For everything.”

“As I’ve said before, it was my pleasure.”

“Jill…” He sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and crossed their lawns, stopping within several feet of her. “You have no idea how much you helped me.”

That wasn’t exactly what he wanted to tell her, but it was a start. Still, nothing more came out, and they both stood there in awkward silence, taking in each other’s miserable looks. Finally, Jill put down her watering can and stepped toward him. He met her halfway and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to inhale her unique and lovely scent. He held her tightly, not wanting to let go. She didn’t step back either.

“Listen,” she said into his neck. “I know you’re going to be busy, starting the new office in San Francisco, but maybe when you have free time, we could still see each other.”

Cole stiffened. Of course he wanted to see her again, and plenty of people had long distance relationships. If others could make it work, why couldn’t they? Yet something nagged at him, insisting it wouldn’t be wise. She’d end up wanting more, as she should, because she deserved the best. But he wouldn’t be able to give her what she needed. No, she deserved a man who would make her the center of his universe, a man who wouldn’t leave her for a career or to chase a rogue wind down an extended blacktop.

He couldn’t—would not—do that to her.

She would end up resenting him forever.

Jill loosened her hold on him and leaned back to gauge his response to that. He shook his head. “Jill, I want to spend more time with you. Of course I do. It’s just… I’m going to be busy, too busy to give you the time and attention you deserve. You understand that, don’t you?”

Behind them, a car door shut, followed by the call of a young boy. Cole glanced up to see Stanley running up the path while his father stood on the other side of the car, staring at them over the roof.

“Right.” Jill nodded, her words suddenly terse. “Of course, you’re right.” She took several swift steps away from him. “Well, take care, Cole.”

His heart clenched as he watched her take Stanley’s hand and walk toward the house without even glancing back. He could do nothing, say nothing. Could only watch her head inside, and close the door behind her.

* * *

Once inside, Jill frantically blinked back tears, forcing a cheerful note into her voice as she spoke with Stanley. Then, someone knocked on her door.
Cole
, she thought, her heart skipping with endless possibilities. Had he changed his mind?

Don’t be a fool, Jill,
she told herself.

She’d put herself out there, raised a question in hopes that he might consider it, and he’d shot her down, letting her know exactly where she stood with him. She’d been a bit of fun, someone who’d helped him through a difficult time, but now he was returning to his real life, a life that didn’t include her.

When she looked through the peephole, she saw Jason, Stanley’s father. She pasted on a polite smile before opening the door.

“Good morning,” Jason said, peering in.

“Hi. Did Stanley forget something?”

He took a step into the house, and instinctively, she took one back.

“I was wondering if maybe you’d like to have dinner with me sometime? If you’d like to go on a date?” he said.

She glanced at Stanley, who had sat down at the mini table and was now drawing. “I’m sorry, Jason,” she said, finally, “but I’m seeing someone.”
At least I was until a few hours ago.

Jason frowned. “Is it the guy next door? The motorcycle guy that Stanley goes on about?”

“I’m sorry. But I’m not comfortable discussing my personal life. Thank you for the invitation, but Stanley and I should probably prepare for the other kids to arrive now.”

Instead of leaving, he continued to stare at her, which made her heart race. Nervously, she licked her lips, cursing when Jason’s gaze followed the movement.

“Yeah, okay,” Jason finally said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Sounds good.” She turned away and closed the door. “Hey, squirt. You ready for some pancakes?” she said to Stanley just as the doorbell rang again. Thank God this time it was Anaya and her mother.

The day was a whirlwind of activity, and Jill kept busy enough that she kept her thoughts about Cole to a minimum.

Later, after all the children were gone, Liz took her hand and led her to the sofa. “Tell me,” she said gently.

Jill smiled sadly. “He’s gone. For good. He’s starting a new job here in LA then moving forward with his plans to move to San Francisco.”

“He could come back. You two could…”

Her words trailed off. Jill shook her head and pressed her lips together doing her best not to cry, but her expression crumpled, and tears filled her eyes.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” Liz said, giving Jill a hug and patting her back.

Jill hugged her friend back tightly for several seconds, then pulled back with a sigh. “He was honest with me from the start. I can’t blame him.”

“Still sucks. Still hurts. And still makes me want to fill his bike’s gas tank with sugar.”

Jill laughed. “Right.” She folded and unfolded and refolded a napkin in her hand, thinking about where she’d go from here.

“So what now?” Liz asked, as if reading her mind.

Jill took a deep breath. “Movie tonight? Some girl time is exactly what I need.”