becoming us (34 page)

“Okay.” Bryce held his hand out again, like he was reaching for Zac’s hand. “We could grab a coffee or something if you want. C’mon.” They were standing in the path of students still flowing in and out of the building.

There were people all over. Zac just couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Bryce wanted to hold his hand. He had to be misunderstanding the gesture. “Um. What do you want?”

“To go and get a coffee and talk to my boyfriend,” Bryce said patiently. His smile was hopeful and endearing. “I’d kiss you right now, but I don’t want to break your brain. It goes with the rest of you, and I was hoping for the matched set.”

Zac’s fingers twitched, and somehow his hand landed in Bryce’s without Zac intending to move at all. “I. What’s going on? Are you... is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” Bryce stepped closer and bowed his head until his forehead touched Zac’s, so Zac could hear him perfectly even though he was speaking quietly. “That’s just it. Everything is fine. I’ve never been happier. Nothing in my life has ever been this good. I don’t want to live like anything is wrong.”

Zac couldn’t stop the smile spreading over his face or the warmth in his chest, but he had to ask:

“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to fuck things up for you, you know?”

“
We
aren’t going to fuck anything up.” Bryce pressed a gentle kiss to Zac’s nose. “
We
aren’t doing a damn thing wrong. No matter what happens between me and my family, I’m not going to hurt you anymore. You said you were ready for this. Just tell me how ready you are.”
Oh, Bryce
. There were people all around them, brushing against Zac as they moved to and from their classes. All those people, and Bryce was standing there holding his hand, kissing his nose, not freaking out and hiding in his room. If Bryce wanted this, Zac was the last person in the world who’d want to stop him.

Zac brought his free hand up to cup Bryce’s cheek. He stroked his thumb over Bryce’s cheekbone and met Bryce’s eyes so he could gauge the reactions. “I’m ready,” he murmured, tipping his head up to press a very soft kiss to Bryce’s lips.

Becoming Us - 174

There was a little tension around Bryce’s eyes and he squeezed Zac’s hand, but then he kissed Zac back just as softly. “Okay, then. C’mon.” He tugged Zac’s hand a little to get him moving.

Right. Coffee
. Zac let Bryce draw him along. He was silent while he processed what had just happened. If anyone had told him, when he’d woken up this morning, that he’d kiss Bryce in public and Bryce wouldn’t freak out, he wouldn’t have believed them. And yet it had happened, and the world hadn’t ended. Far from it -- here he was, walking across campus, holding Bryce’s hand.

“What happened?” Zac asked quietly. Something had definitely changed between this morning and now, for Bryce to be acting like this.

“I just... I was talking to Perry,” Bryce said quietly. “And the more I talked, the more fucked up it all sounded.” Bryce sucked in a deep breath like he was trying to calm himself, and he held on to Zac’s hand almost tight enough to hurt. “Talking about not wanting someone to see us and tell my dad. Keeping quiet. Telling a few people. Shit, Zac, it sounded like a bad fucking spy movie.” He loosened his grip, looking down at their hands. “Sorry. Just. If that’s how I’m living, there is way more wrong with my family than me being queer. The problem isn’t me.”

“The problem was never you.” Zac gave Bryce’s hand a squeeze, gentler than the way Bryce had been squeezing his. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I want to be happy. And I want you to be happy.” Bryce let go of Zac’s hand, but it was only to slide his arm around Zac’s shoulders. “I don’t want to go giving any interviews.” He gave Zac a sideways look. “But I can’t live with not being who I am. I always tried to be such an honest person, Zac.”

No interviews. Yeah, that was what had started all of the problems with Bryce’s family. Zac and Perry and that damn article in
Game On
. “No interviews,” Zac agreed. “One was enough for me.” Not that Zac would have taken it back; the article had gotten him together with Bryce, too.

“Not until after we graduate, at least.” Bryce stopped and looked down at Zac. “It’s not that I’m not scared as hell. It’s just... I don’t think we have a chance if we don’t just live our lives.” He took a breath and kept going. “And... and when I was talking to Perry, I realized that I
really
want us to have a chance. And I don’t want us hurting ourselves every day on the bars of some cage that’s got an open door. We’re really lucky that the door is open, Zac.” Bryce’s arm slipped off Zac’s shoulder as Zac stopped and turned to face Bryce. He caught up Bryce’s hand in his, squeezing gently. “I want us to have a chance, too.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Bryce took a deep breath. “Just... you know. Haul me back if I make a run for it, right?” He looked a little worried about that.

“Every time.” Zac was worried about it, too, but he wouldn’t let that stop him.

Becoming Us - 175

“I think I get it now, though.” Bryce brought Zac’s hand up and kissed Zac’s fingers. “I do.

When I think of you and me,
us
, the rest melts away. The more I focus on us, the more right it is.

So, let me take you for coffee and walk you to class and then tonight, I want to sleep in the same bed with you. Because I’m not waking up without you anymore just because of what someone might think.”

Bryce was so open, too open and honest and
good
to have to lie about anything important to him.

“You want to tell Steve and Kaede tonight? Or just let ‘em figure it out?” Bryce took a breath and squared his shoulders. “I think we should tell them. I mean, the whole thing. They’re our friends and we all have to live together. I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable because they can’t figure out what’s up.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right. And, you know, they’re gonna be cool with it. They know about me, you know? They’ve never been weird about it or anything.” Zac squeezed Bryce’s hand. “It’s gonna be good.”

“I get to kiss you while watching TV.” Bryce looked like he could hardly wait. Just to be able to lean over and kiss Zac, sitting on that treacherous couch, watching the TV that was way too big for the little living room, and Bryce looked like someone had told him he was going to get
everything
he’d ever wanted.

Zac grinned. “You sure do.” God, who would’ve thought something like that would make either of them so happy? It did, though. It made Zac feel like everything was finally falling into place, and his whole world was made better just by being able to hold Bryce’s hand and kiss him when he wanted to.

“Awesome.” Bryce bounced on his toes a little and then tugged on Zac’s hand. “Come on. I want to buy you a coffee and carry your bag and walk you to class and...” All the stuff that everyone else did. Zac’s boyfriend. His big, goofy boyfriend was going to meet him after classes and carry his books and hold his hand and... that grin was the same as the same old Bryce that Zac remembered.

Zac couldn’t help but laugh. Everything just felt so good, so perfect. “You’re the perfect boyfriend, Bryce. Come on. Let’s go.” He tugged at Bryce’s hand and off they went to the coffee shop across the quad. Hand in hand.

Becoming Us - 176