Becoming Ellen (22 page)

E
llen was so glad to reach the loft in the morning that she almost forgot to check the mailbox just inside the alley door. The postal worker generally came before eight. Ellen assumed it was because the main post office was only a block away. She pulled out the usual assortment of grocery store coupons and pizza delivery ads, a few bills, and a bright pink flyer.

Ellen stopped and stared at the garish paper. It read
Missing, young man, blond, twelve years old, seen in this neighborhood, if spotted, please call
, and then there was a phone number. There was also a photo, but it was muddy on the colored paper and it looked like a school portrait of a much younger Seth.

When she got upstairs, Ellen took it straight to Justice, and he read it out loud to Temerity. Ellen could see from the pillow and blankets folded on the sofa that Justice had spent the night there, Seth having been moved into his bedroom.

He frowned. “At least I doubt anyone would recognize him from this picture. He must be seven or eight here,” he explained to Temerity, who was buttering toast.

“And no one will see him for the next few days anyway,” Ellen said when he was finished. “Because he's here.”

“But the reality is that we have to come up with some kind of plan. Keeping an underage runaway in our home while his guardian is looking for him can't be
completely
legal.” He looked down at his watch. “I've got to go. Ellen, you've got tonight off, right?” She confirmed this and he said, “Good. Let's powwow tonight and do some brainstorming. So far, all I can think of is to hire a lawyer and see what they say. I'll be home around five.”

When he was gone, Temerity said, “Where's that paper?”

“It's on the table,” Ellen told her.

“Well, don't lose it. I have an idea. But we need a co-conspirator.”

Ellen just sagged. “Please, no more people, I just can't.”

Her friend took a big bite of toast. It made a loud crunch. Temerity chewed thoughtfully and made a sympathetic noise. “I know it's been a tough week for you. Bus crash, meeting the parents, letters, runaways, not to mention all the stuff at work with that Eric guy. Anything new with that anyway?”

Ellen had so much to tell her. As she talked, she felt the screw of guilt in her gut for not being able to report him. She just didn't have that much strength. She finished her recap by explaining that she thought he would be back to try to collect the drugs. This seemed to please Temerity rather than otherwise.

“Interesting. And I'm very proud of you, Ellen. You've been a trouper and I can imagine how stretched you must feel, but you've actually been so brave. You know you're my hero.”

“I haven't
done
anything,” Ellen moaned.

But Temerity was shaking her head firmly. “Not true. For you to speak up, the way you did for Seth,
and
put yourself in harm's way to stop someone from being assaulted. . . . That's not nothing, that's
amazing
. Amazing Ellen. I think that's what I'm going to start calling you, AE for short.” She tested it out, extending the syllables. “
Ayyy-eee.
Okay, maybe not. I sound like a crocodile hunter. But don't worry, I wasn't thinking of asking anyone new into our little bubble. I think, if he's up for it, that Rupert will do very nicely.”

Knowing Rupert, Ellen wasn't so sure about that.

“What do you want him to do?” she asked Temerity.

Temerity finished off her toast and wiped the crumbs from her hands. “Oh, just make a phone call. By the way, Beth is going to stop by later to check on Seth, probably around four thirty. She said she and Thelma are going to the Museum of Modern Art this afternoon and they'll come by after. You going to be sleeping?”

“I might be up by then,” Ellen said. “Who's watching Seth today?”

Temerity raised a hand. “I am. Nothing gets by me, as you know.”

Ellen smiled, but she was a little worried. Even the simple trip to the restroom had been tricky. “What about the, you know, IV and stuff?”

“Oh, Amanda unhooked that last night. I mean, he still has it in his arm, but it's not connected to anything right now. Beth's going to give him another antibiotic dose when she comes later. So he can move around for now, even take a shower if we put plastic over it.”

As though on cue, the door to the hallway opened and Seth stuck his head out. He scanned around the loft and spotted the two women at the table.

Temerity had turned to the sound. “Good morning, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

A rolling cough answered her, but though it was fruity, it didn't sound as bad as yesterday. “Better,” Seth said when he could. “What happened to, uh, that guy?”

“Justice? He went to work,” Temerity said. “You want breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

“And then, maybe a shower,” Temerity said. “Beth gave me this long plastic-glove thingy and a rubber band so you can wash. Sound good?”

“Could I . . .” Seth's eyes roamed around on the floor, “maybe . . . take a bath instead?”

Ellen smiled. She hadn't been able to resist her huge tub either when she'd first come here.

“I don't see why not. Get it?” Temerity laughed, then explained, “It's funny because I can't see.” Seth looked confused, which Temerity couldn't see. “Hey, Ellen, weren't you just going to make some bacon?”

Seth's eyes widened and he proceeded into the room, followed closely by Runt, who had decided having a kid in the house to pet him all day was the Best. Thing. Ever. Seth was wearing Justice's pajama pants and one of his T-shirts. The pants were rolled up at the bottom but still dragging on the floor at his heels. The T-shirt fell past his thighs, and one thin shoulder was escaping through the neck opening.

Ellen fried a whole pack of bacon and scrambled six eggs. She took only three pieces of bacon, plus one for Mouse, and a small portion of eggs for herself. The rest she piled onto a plate with toast that Temerity had made and put it in front of Seth. He ate ravenously, occasionally slipping a treat to Runt, who stayed reverently at his side. “Your appetite is coming back, I see,” Temerity said. When Seth raised his head to stare at her after this comment, he found Temerity was pointing to her ear. “You know, you can close your mouth when you chew.”

“Mmm, sorry,” Seth said, and went back to his meal, taking pains to be more quiet, but he couldn't breathe through his nose with his mouth closed.

Temerity stood up. “Okay, let me know when you're done. I'll show you how to work the tub and where the towels are. Then you can watch TV or read, whatever you want, so long as you stay horizontal. Double doctors' orders! I have to make a phone call. Be right back.” Taking her mug, Temerity crossed the room and went into the hall.

Seth watched her go and then turned to Ellen. “How does she do that?”

“Do what?” Ellen asked.

“Walk around like she can see?”

Ellen considered this. “She knows the place really well. It's important not to leave anything lying around. Runt's bad enough, but usually he pants and she can hear him. If she has her stick, she can tell there's something in her path, but she doesn't use it in the house.”

“It's so cool,” Seth said quietly. “What's wrong with her eyes?”

It had never occurred to Ellen to ask, as she would have considered it an invasion of Temerity's privacy. “She was born that way. I think that's why she's so comfortable with it. It's all she's ever known.”

“Yeah.” Seth looked down at his plate. “People can get used to all kinds of bad stuff.” He yawned, triggering Ellen to do the same.

“I have to get some sleep,” Ellen told him. “I just got home from work. You okay?”

Seth shrugged, gestured around him at the expansive loft, and patted his full stomach. “Way better than yesterday.” He grinned at her, but immediately a kind of fear spasm flashed across his face before he could stop it. Ellen knew that look.

She sat back and didn't look at him as she spoke. “You know, they won't make you go back to . . . wherever you were, if you're afraid. I'm not sure how they'll help you yet. But I know they will. You might have to help
them
though.”

Seth looked at her suspiciously, and Ellen was willing to bet he'd been promised safety before that didn't come. Possibly from the very uncle he was desperate to escape now. “What would they want me to do?” he asked, the distrust apparent in his voice.

Ellen considered this. “When I was in foster care, there were some kids who had to testify against their families when they were in danger. Could you do that?”

Seth's pupils had dilated in fear. “I . . . no,” he muttered.

Ellen sighed. “I couldn't either,” she admitted. People without a conscience or scruples had controlled Seth's life up to this point. It was those kinds of people who had caused Ellen to start recording life's little misdemeanors, and much worse, in her notebooks, because she'd had no one else to tell. “I think,” she said very carefully, “that if you told the truth about why you're here, to the right person, they could help you.”

Seth was shaking his head violently. “I don't want to talk about that,” he said in a strangled voice.

“I know,” Ellen almost whispered. “I don't blame you. There are so many things in my life that were so bad, I don't even remember them, and I've never told anybody.” She steadied herself. “So I'm not going to tell you to do what I can't. But you know what? If I'd had a friend like Temerity back then, maybe I would have told her, and my life would have been really different.” Ellen sighed again. Seth was staring at her with hopeful confusion. Ellen realized that he was trying to believe she might actually understand.

“Listen,” she said, trying to take the pressure off him, “you don't have to do anything right now. Just rest, okay?” She tried to think of something to occupy him. She would have chosen to read. “You want a book, or something?”

“I wish I had a comic book.”

Ellen remembered that Amanda had given Justice a collection of some comics for Christmas. It was in a big box on the long bookshelf under the windows. She went and got it, then set it on the table next to him. It was big: three leather-bound volumes nestled together in their own box. Seth squinted at it. “That's not a comic book.”

“I know. It's a collection of comics. You can look at it, if you want.”

Seth slid one of the volumes out of the linen-covered box and opened it to the first glossy page. He ran his hand over it like it was treasure, reading eagerly. A smile crossed his face, and he turned the page.

Temerity came back out. “Okay, ready for bath time?”

“Okay,” Seth said. He carried the book to the sofa and set it carefully on the coffee table to wait for him. He patted it contentedly, then scratched Runt behind the ears, and headed for the bathroom with the dog trotting after him.

“Rupert will be here around two,” Temerity called over her shoulder. “In case you're up and you want to come down and say hi.”

Ellen was too tired to ask what it was that Temerity had wanted Rupert to do. She went upstairs and stood at her round window for a minute. Ellen felt little bubbles fizzing in her heart, like a soda when you poured it fast.

She had climbed under the covers when she heard a knock at her door. “Yes?” she called.

“Can I come in?” Temerity asked.

“Sure.” Ellen sat up. Temerity opened the door, but she didn't come all the way in.

“Remember how that detective, Barclay, said he owed you a favor?” she asked.

Ellen nodded and then remembered to say “Yes.”

“Did he give you a number to get in touch with him?”

Ellen's eyes went to her dresser. Barclay's card was still there. “He gave me his card,” she said, but suspiciously. “Why?”

“Aha! I knew you were holding out on me. Can I borrow it?” Temerity said. “I think I might have come up with something he can do so he doesn't have to feel indebted anymore.”

Ellen came bolt upright. “You can't ask him to find that Frank person,” she said in a panic.

Temerity frowned and waved both hands in front of her as though warding off bats. “No, no. It's not that. It has to do with Seth.”

“But if you tell him about Seth . . .” Ellen began.

Temerity said impatiently, “Don't you trust me?”

Ellen didn't want to say that yes, she did, kind of, but also . . . not exactly. So instead, she said, “Why won't you talk to the piano guy? He obviously wants to talk to
you
.”

Temerity rubbed her fingers together nervously. “Can I be honest?”

Ellen grinned. “No, lie to me.”

“Okay. I'm an alien.”

Ellen laughed.

“The truth is,
this
”—Temerity pointed to her eyes—“is a pretty big deal. I mean, not for me, but who would choose a blind woman for a girlfriend?”

For the first time Ellen realized that Temerity might need encouragement, too. She was no expert on this, but she knew enough from watching people in romantic and explosive situations to offer at least an observation. “I'm not sure, but it seems to me that nobody knows what will happen with a new person. Not until they get together and try it. I didn't think I'd ever be able to be friends with you,” Ellen confessed.

“Well, thanks a lot!” Temerity laughed. “Anyway, it's no big deal. I'm really happy with the way things are.” Then before Ellen could comment she said, “Now, quit stalling. Where's the card?” Ellen slipped out of bed and handed it to her. From her pocket, Temerity took a small recorder she sometimes used for this kind of thing and clicked it on. “Read me the number,” she said. Ellen did. “Okay, sleep tight!” And with a whistle, the tune of which sounded like mischief to Ellen, her friend went back downstairs.