Becoming Ellen (19 page)

Ellen put the water on for tea and then stood, feeling helpless, a few feet back from everyone else.

Seth lay there, panting and exhausted, pale, sweaty, and shivering, until Amanda had finished. Then she smiled at him and told him to try to relax. “Can I see your medicine?” she asked him. Seth waved a weak hand at his bag, which was lying by Runt's paws. Amanda handed the bag to Seth and he looked through it until he came up with the packs of antibiotic Ellen had seen Beth give him.

Amanda read the labels. “These are good, but they take a couple of weeks to work, and you should be resting while they do. Why are you out in this weather?”

Temerity chimed in, “We all gotta work to eat,” as though it were the most natural thing in the world that this twelve-year-old was killing himself to run errands. “Amanda, can we talk to you?”

Everyone stood silently, looking at each other for an uncomfortable moment, unwilling to leave Seth, and unsure if they should. The whistle of his restricted breathing punctuated the tenseness. Then, quite unexpectedly, Rupert took charge. Perching his bottom on the edge of the easy chair next to the sofa and placing a hand on the armrest nearest to Seth, as though claiming the area and the boy, he said to them, “I'll sit with him. You guys go on.” He jerked his head, looked shyly at the boy, and turned bright red. His unease was so obvious that Seth seemed to sense there was nothing to fear. He laid his head back against the pillows and closed his eyes.

The other four went to the hallway, where Justice pushed the door shut behind them.

“What's going on?” Amanda demanded.

“He's living in the basement,” Justice began.

“In this weather?” Amanda looked horrified.

Temerity explained. “He ran away from an uncle who is abusing him, and, we think . . . selling him. If we tell anyone he's here, he'll have to go back because the uncle is his legal guardian.”

“If he's being abused, then they'll take him away . . .” Amanda began.

It was Ellen's turn. “Not necessarily,” she said. Not sure how to sum up all her life experiences in a few sentences, and not wanting to, she settled for adding, “It could go really badly for him if there's no proof.”

“Listen, honey,” Justice said, putting a hand on Amanda's shoulder. “There are two reasons I didn't ask you for your help right off. The first is that this kid trusts nobody, with good reason, so if he thinks we'll turn him in, he'll disappear. The second is because this is a legal mess. We want to help this kid, but our interfering without having some way to protect him first could backfire—big time.”

Amanda looked indignant. “I would have helped you!”

“We didn't want to put you in the position of not reporting the abuse,” Temerity told her.

“And how abusive is it for this kid to die of exposure?” Amanda countered. “He cannot go back out there!”

“Does he need a hospital?” Justice asked, setting them back on track.

Amanda sighed. “He could use some fluids, and probably some intravenous antibiotics at this point, not to mention blood work so I can even be sure. That infection needs to be aggressively attacked, but without admitting him to the hospital, there's no way I can get my hands on those kinds of supplies and lab work without violating about sixteen laws, including theft and illegal distribution of prescription drugs.”

Justice said softly, “That's why we didn't ask you.”

Amanda grimaced, but nodded, resigned to the truth of what he was saying. “You said you had another option?”

Justice and Temerity both turned toward Ellen. Even without the benefit of sight, Temerity's face was set with so much determination that she reminded Ellen of a small bulldozer. But they were leaving it up to Ellen.

She took a deep breath, thought of Seth's white face gasping for air, and said, “Call her.”

Temerity put a hand on Ellen's back and murmured, “Good girl.” Ellen was reminded of Mr. Rush saying exactly that to Lydia. She felt like she was six, too.

They returned to the living room and Ellen hovered in the background while Temerity knelt next to Seth. “Seth?” she asked gently, finding his forehead with her palm and pushing his sweaty hair off his skin. “Remember that nice lady who helped you at the clinic?”

Seth rolled his head to look at her, and nodded. For once, it was not a wasted movement, as Temerity's hand moved with him.

She smiled. “Good. And you know she won't say anything to anyone, right?” Another nod. “Good, we need to call her. Do you have her phone number?”

Seth pointed to his bag again. Justice asked permission to look in it, and found the card. He dialed the handwritten number on the back and then nudged his sister with the phone. She took it.

“Hello? Is this Dr. Howell?” No one else in the room spoke. “My name is Temerity Bauer. You were kind enough to help a friend of mine yesterday, a young man named Seth.” There was a pause. “Actually, not well. He collapsed on my doorstep and we've had a doctor friend look at him, but we can't send him to the hospital because . . . I'm glad you understand. Is there any way we could bring him to the clinic, or you could come here?”

Ellen's fingers hurt, and looking down, she saw that she'd crossed them, on both hands, and curled them tightly in. She shook them out.

“Oh, thank you! Yes, she is. Hold on.” Temerity took the phone from her ear and called out, “Amanda, she wants to talk to you.”

“I'm right here,” Amanda said from behind her. They passed off the phone, and Amanda walked a few feet away as introductions were exchanged, and then came a stream of medical terms that Ellen didn't understand.

“All right,” said Amanda, returning to the group. “She's waiting for her wife to get home so they can go by the clinic to pick up what she needs and then drive over. In the meantime, let's see if we can get some tea or broth in you, young man. And maybe we should give him a little space.” She swung her head to point out the fact that five large adults and a huge shaggy dog were clustered around one small boy.

“I think,” Temerity said, picking up the suggestion first, in spite of having missed the pointed look, “that we should finish making that cake. Rupert?”

Rupert rose and Amanda took his place. Justice said he would take Runt for his morning walk, though the dog seemed reluctant to leave the boy, and Ellen went upstairs. She was uncertain whether to show herself to Thelma again or not. Her trained instinct was to
not
. Yet it was odd. Somehow, Ellen felt that she knew both Thelma and Beth because of watching them in an unguarded moment, and the fact that Seth was their focus, and not her, lessened the sensation of being trapped in searchlights.

Maybe,
Ellen thought,
when people behave well when they don't know anyone is watching, you can trust that's who they really are.

A
fter forty-five minutes of doing battle with the voices telling her to be afraid, the desire to find out what would happen to Seth won out. Her ingrained reticence was unconquered, however, so she didn't just march back downstairs. Instead, she waited until she heard the door buzzer, then took up her position just inside the half-open hallway door.

“Hello, thank you for coming,” Temerity said when she opened the door to Beth and Thelma. Ellen observed both women try for eye contact, take in Temerity's blindness, gauge the situation, and then adjust and proceed as needed. She had expected no less. Easy.

Justice and Amanda were both sitting near the sofa. They'd turned the TV on to some cartoons for Seth, but the sound was almost off. They both rose to shake hands with the newcomers and discuss the situation. It was strange to see Thelma in the loft. Two familiar things to Ellen that she had never expected to see united, it made them both feel unfamiliar. Then the two doctors had a hushed discussion near the door while the other three stood talking politely a few feet away. Finally, Temerity pointedly invited “everyone who is not Beth” to gather in the kitchen for coffee and snacks.

Ellen could see Beth perfectly through the crack in the door, but she couldn't see Seth for the back of the sofa. The doctor had brought a large bag, and she handed it off to Thelma, who smiled at her warmly and went to join the others.

Beth leaned over the sofa and spoke softly. “Seth? Are you awake?” Ellen saw the top of Seth's towhead pop up above the sofa back as he jerked upright. The sound of coughing was all Ellen could make out for a few moments. Beth helped him take a few sips of tea, which seemed to help calm the spasms.

“So, Seth. Looks like you're in luck. These nice people want you to stay here until you get better. How do you feel about that?”

“Why?” Ellen heard Seth rasp.

“Because they don't want anything bad to happen to you,” Beth tried to explain. Ellen felt her hands form into tight fists again. It wasn't Beth's fault, but there was nothing for Seth to grab on to there. This was a kid who lived a life in which nothing came for free. Adults were not to be trusted.

“Why?” Seth croaked again.

Beth exhaled. “I know that it's hard for you to understand that some people just want, or actually
need
, to be helpful. And I don't blame you.” She sat down on the coffee table and rested her chin on her fist. “Take me, for example. I don't
have
to work at the clinic, I have a good private practice, but I like to help people. There's no reason for you to trust us yet, but let me put it this way. If you want to get better, you have two choices. You can go to a hospital. And I think I understand why you don't want to do that,” she added quickly as he recoiled against the cushions. “Or you can stay here so that I can give you the medicine you need through an IV. You have to stay in one place for several days, no moving around, no going outside, and no working.”

“I'll be okay,” Seth said, trying to stand up.

Beth put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head. “Seth, if you walk out that door, you'll be in a hospital by tomorrow, or worse.”

“But I don't know them,” Seth whispered, glancing fearfully at the group of adults conversing across the room.

Beth was nodding. “I know, me neither, actually,” she whispered back, as though they were conspirators. “But I do know that they sent you to me because they knew I could help you without having to turn you in. They know you've been living in the basement, Seth.”

“What do they want?” Seth asked. “Why would they want to help me? I can take care of myself.” He was panicked and confused, this was out of his realm, and Ellen realized that the only person there who truly understood was her.

She stood up, tested her voice a bit with a small hum, and went out. She walked straight to the back of the sofa, and then around it. She could see Justice watching her curiously, but he did or said nothing to draw attention to her. Temerity, too, knew she was there. Ellen could tell, because her friend turned her head in her direction and tilted it slightly, listening.

The smell of the cake baking filled the air with a delicious scent and Ellen with courage. When she had come around almost next to Beth, Ellen spoke. “They want to help you because that's what they do,” she said to Seth. “They've done it before. That's why I'm here.” Both Beth and Seth looked up at her in absolute surprise, as did the five people in the kitchen. “Hi, Thelma,” Ellen waved, wanting to shrink small enough to crawl under the couch.

“Ellen! Oh, so
that's
how this happened,” Thelma said with a huge grin. “I thought I recognized these two.” She pointed a thumb at Justice and Temerity. “You're the ones who saved Irena's butt last year. Wow, nice to meet you, I mean, officially.” She was beaming at them. Seth was staring from one person to another.

Ellen was concentrating on Seth, though. “I'm like you,” she said. “I didn't have anyone or any family. I grew up in foster care. I'm not saying you should trust us, I know you can't and shouldn't yet. But I'm telling you for sure that this is for real.”

Seth was squinting up at her. “What happened to your face?” he asked.

Ellen's hand flew up to pull down her hair, to conceal the large angular patch of redness and the remaining white crisscross of scarring. But she forced herself to stop and lower her hand, leaving the surgical scars and still-healing skin exposed. Truth, she knew, was absolutely crucial if this boy was to ever trust them. Ellen tested her courage, steadied its wobbly legs, and took a step. “My mom burned me, on purpose, when I was young. I didn't have a very happy childhood.” Ellen turned to point at Amanda. “That woman there? She helped me get some surgery to fix it. I know it's still not pretty. I won't ever be that, and that's okay, but it's much better than it was. Before, I would never let anyone see me.” Ellen dropped her eyes to the carpet. Not since being taunted or mocked at school had she had this many people focused on her, and she had to fight to remind herself that this was not the same situation. “I still don't like it,” she added quietly, shrugging.

Seth stared at her for a moment longer, then his eyes trailed around the room. “It's nice here,” he said. “It's warm.”

Ellen grinned. “And the bathtubs are huge!”

Beth was looking across at Thelma. Ellen didn't know what passed between them, but she saw Beth acknowledge something and nod. Then she said, “Seth, I want you to meet my friend Thelma. She works with Ellen, and she told me all about her. Thelma is my favorite person, and I'll bet you'll like her, too.” With a small movement of her head, she gestured for Thelma to come over.

Thelma picked up the medical bag and joined them. “Waz up, Seth?” she asked and extended a fist to be bumped. Seth did it, one corner of his mouth curling upward slightly at the familiar gesture.

“Not me,” Seth said.

Thelma threw her head back and laughed. “True that,” she said. “Listen, obviously you're a person who can take of yourself. Me too. Very independent.” She thumped her chest and pretended to flex her muscles somewhat comically. “But you know, that doesn't mean that we always
should
. Beth here, she taught me that sometimes I'm stronger when I lean on something. Kind of like a swing set. You know, if it didn't have those angled pieces, it would fall over.” Thelma had formed a triangle with her hands. “Sure,” she shrugged, “you can do everything you need for yourself, but I know from experience that that can get awful lonely. For a while there it was just me and my parrot.” Thelma rolled her eyes up, as though admitting a shameful secret. “What can I say? I've got a thing for pirates.”

The boy was clearly amused. He smiled up at her.

“So, can we get a commitment that you'll stay here, at least for a few days?” Thelma asked, but casually, as though it didn't really matter to her one way or the other.

Seth's untrusting eyes flickered back and forth between Beth and Thelma, and then settled on Ellen, who nodded, almost imperceptibly.

“Okay, for a few days,” Seth agreed, and fell back in exhaustion.

“Good man,” Beth said. “Thelma, get out the IV kit and the saline drip. We'll start with that and then add in the antibiotic.”

While Beth explained carefully and thoroughly to Seth what she was going to do, Thelma asked Ellen if there was anything they could use to hang the IV bags. “Ceiling's a little high in this place,” Thelma said loud enough to be sure that Seth could hear her, looking up, way up, at the ceiling twenty feet above them. “It's as high as the top of a ship's mast. Usually we'd just fasten a hook somewhere, but to get up there we'd need some major rigging, not to mention a nimble cabin boy or a spider monkey. And they both bite.” Seth snickered.

“I've got a hat rack in my room,” Justice offered.

“Perfect!” Thelma told him. “Bring it on out!”

Grateful to be forgotten in the general activity, Ellen made her way back upstairs and burrowed into the heavy covers of her bed, exhausted. Ellen would normally have been drained by the exchange with other people, and she was, but for some reason she also felt fuller. Maybe it was the fact that the others were helping Seth, and maybe it was something else. Ellen fell asleep wondering what the something else might be, but as hard as she tried to catch it, it evaded her.

She slept for only four hours, but awoke knowing she wouldn't go back to sleep. She dressed hurriedly and went downstairs.

The living room was quiet. From what Ellen could tell, Thelma and Beth had gone, and so had Rupert. She didn't know where the twins or Amanda were. The hat stand next to the sofa trailed its tubes down until they disappeared behind its back, so Ellen knew that Seth was there.

She started into the room cautiously and then stopped when she heard a laugh from the floor next to the sofa. Circling it in a wide berth, Ellen was surprised to see Thelma sitting on the floor next to Seth. A small table with a game board was between them. Runt was sitting against the sofa with his head resting on the cushion under Seth's arm, who scratched his ears. As Ellen watched, Thelma said, “And that's a six. I'll take two hundred dollars for passing Go, thank you very much!”

Seth, using one hand, carefully counted out the bills and passed them over. Thelma gave him the dice.

“Where is everybody?” Ellen asked.

“Oh, hi there. Well, let's see. Your amazing baker friend finished that masterpiece and left.” She pointed to the counter where a confection of creamy white swirls and red flowers sat on top of a cake stand. “I told him it was cruel to make that in front of us and not give us any, so he made a small one, too!” Ellen saw two plates on the coffee table, one scraped clean and the other holding a slice of cake that had only been nibbled on. “Everybody else went to get ready for an anniversary lunch, I think they said? And I'm hanging out with Seth until you guys get back.”

Seth smiled weakly at Ellen. “She's beating me,” he said.

“No mercy!” Thelma exclaimed, and then laughed. “Actually, he already owns all of the valuable properties. It's only a matter of time before I'm bankrupt.”

Ellen had no idea what they were talking about. Board games didn't come for one, so she'd never had much interest.

Remembering that Thelma, too, had worked all night and not yet slept, she observed, “You must be tired.”

This reminder produced a yawn, but Thelma waved it off. “I'm fine. I'm off tonight, and I prefer to stay up and sleep later. It's the only way Beth and I get a day together.”

With a shiver, Ellen realized that since no one else was around, that made her the hostess. “Do you guys, uh, want, um, soup, or something?”

Thelma scrunched up her face at Seth. “Soup?” she asked. He shook his head, clearly too tired to eat, to judge from the piece of untouched cake on his plate.

“Nope,” Thelma said. “Not much appetite just yet. It'll come. We're good, thanks. Roll away, buddy!”

Temerity came out, wearing jeans and a bright orange sweater. “Ellen? Is that you?” she called out. When Ellen answered, she said, “Are you ready? We have to leave in about ten minutes.”

“Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go,” Ellen said as Temerity joined her.

“You know”—Temerity crossed her arms and assumed a familiar tone—“sometimes, even though we know we can do everything by ourselves, that doesn't mean we should.”

“All right! I get it,” Ellen said, and stomped back upstairs. It was so like Temerity to use an argument back on her that Ellen had endorsed. It was cheating, of course, but what could she do?

They waved good-bye to Thelma, who put a finger to her lips, and pulled the wad of fake money from Seth's limp hand as he slept against the pillows.

“Thank you so much,” Justice whispered, shushing his sister, who was filling her lungs to call out a good-bye. “We'll be back before six. This one has to go to work and support us.” He pointed at Temerity.

“Oh yeah, right,” Temerity said under her breath. “The arts are so lucrative, I'm just raking it in.”

“Classical musicians are such mercenaries. It's all about the cash,” Justice agreed, earning himself a thump in the ribs from his sister.
“Oof.”

Amanda laughed and said in a low voice to Thelma, “Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I could.”

But Justice took her arm. “No, you are going to meet my parents. It's been nine months, and they understand residents' long hours, but they're beginning to think I've made you up.”

“Oh . . . okay,” Amanda said, sounding very nervous.

This floored Ellen. Amanda, nervous to meet her boyfriend's parents? Who would
not
like the brilliant, beautiful, funny doctor as a girlfriend for their son? Amanda was like the bonus jackpot. It stunned Ellen to realize that even someone seemingly perfect could be afraid of an introduction.