Beauty Chorus, The (46 page)

‘Stella, I’m so sorry,’ Evie said. ‘What am I going to do without you? Megan, now you …’

‘You have Beau, darling.’

Do I?
Evie thought. She had heard nothing from him for weeks, and the uncertainty was killing her. ‘Of course I do.’ She forced a smile as she hugged Stella. ‘But
everyone knows chaps come and go. We girls have to stick together.’

‘I don’t feel like I’m much use to anyone at the moment,’ Stella said as she glanced at Michael. ‘I feel broken …’

‘No,’ he said kindly. ‘You’re not broken. As I said to one of my recently widowed parishioners the other day, you can’t let yourself break down, you need to break
open. Holding all this grief inside you all these months, that’s what has made you ill, darling. To get well, to feel whole again, you need to let yourself grieve. Every loss we face and
survive makes us stronger.’

‘I’m sure you’re right.’ Stella’s face was etched with sorrow.

Michael’s words struck a chord with Evie. She looked at her friend. ‘You have to go out there and fight for your happiness. You can do it, Stella.’

‘I’m sorry, we have to go if we’re going to catch the train,’ Michael said as he looked at his watch. ‘I’ll wait outside for you.’ He turned to Evie.
‘See you soon.’

‘You’re lucky,’ Evie said as she gently wiped away Stella’s tears. ‘It may not feel like it now, but you have so much. You have a beautiful child, and a good man
who clearly loves you. Don’t let him go.’

Stella hugged her. ‘Thank you, Evie, I couldn’t have survived this year without you. Will you be alright?’

Tears pricked Evie’s eyes. She felt very tired suddenly, and very old. ‘Me?’ She smiled brightly. ‘I’m fine. I’ll be fine.’ She glanced at the sketches
above the fireplace, and walked over. ‘Don’t forget your drawing.’ She handed the Spencer to Stella.

‘Queen of the Air.’ Stella smiled sadly.

‘That’s you. And don’t you forget it.’ Their eyes met. ‘You’ll get through this. It’s time to let go, Stella – forgive, grieve, do whatever you
need to do to get well.’

Stella nodded, unable to speak for a moment. She turned to Evie as she walked outside, a tear trickling down her cheek. ‘I’ll miss you.’

‘I’ll always be there when you need me,’ Evie called from the door. She watched as the taxi drove away up the lane and disappeared into the fog. She raised her hand as the
lights disappeared around the bend, and silence fell. The light was fading, and her footsteps sounded loud to her as she walked back into the dark cottage. She looked around her, remembering all
the nights she had spent here with Stella and Megan, with Jack, with Beau. It didn’t feel like home any more. ‘I want to go home,’ she said softly. Without bothering to change,
she locked up the house and went out through the frozen garden, the wind biting at her raw cheeks. In the stable, she quickly saddled Monty, and flung open the door. ‘Come on,’ she said
as she wheeled him around and dug her heels in. ‘We’re going home.’

The milk sky grew dark as she rode, her breath and Monty’s mingling as she galloped across the countryside. The pounding of his hooves on the frozen earth, his surging body, were in rhythm
with her heart. Ice-encrusted power lines cracked and hissed above her, frosted trees bowed down to the ground. Evie kicked Monty on, guided him down the driveway to her father’s house, his
hooves scattering the gravel as she raced home. She leapt down from the saddle by the main door and yanked the heavy iron bell-pull. Evie calmed her breath as she waited, the bell ringing distantly
in the blacked-out house. Above her the moon was rising, a perfect silver orb, the first stars appearing in the sky.

The door opened and golden light spilled out. ‘Miss Evelyn?’

‘Hello, Ross. Is Daddy at home?’

‘I’m afraid not. Mr Chase is working late in town tonight.’

Her heart sank. ‘Working late?’
At the 400 more likely.
‘Never mind. I’ll wait up for him.’

‘Shall I ask the groom to take Montgomery round for you?’

‘No, that’s fine. I’ll settle him in.’

Evie could see the concern on the old butler’s face. ‘Have you had supper yet, Miss Evelyn? I could ask the cook to lay up the dining room for you.’

‘Don’t go to any trouble for me. I’ll make a sandwich or something.’

Ross watched Evie walk her horse around the corner of the house to the stable yard. He smiled and nodded. ‘Good girl,’ he said quietly. ‘Welcome home.’

Evie sat on the kitchen table, swinging her legs as she ate her cheese sandwich.

‘Right, I’m off to collect Mr Chase,’ Cullen called from the scullery passage.

‘Thank you, Cullen. Mind the roads – it’s treacherous out there tonight.’ Ross was polishing the silver cutlery, placing each piece carefully in a velvet-lined
drawer.

‘Ross, how long have you known Daddy?’ Evie asked him.

‘Since the Great War, Miss. I was his batman, as you know.’

‘Does he seem alright to you?’

Ross paused, put down the knife he was cleaning. ‘I think it would be best if you asked your father yourself, Miss Evelyn,’ he said kindly.

‘I’m sure you’re right.’

The luxuriousness of the house was like a drug to Evie. She walked barefoot across her room, and stepped into a hot bubble bath, sighing with relief. Her eyes drooped as she
sank into the warm water, and her thoughts roamed over the last weeks and months. She ran her hand across her stomach, the jutting arc of her ribcage, as she thought of Beau
. I need to see
you
, she thought.

Evie wrapped herself in a heavy white towelling gown and walked to the window, pulled back the blackout blind. She stared out at the full moon, its silvery light illuminating the frosted grounds
as brightly as the sun.
Where are you?

There was a tap on the door. ‘Come in,’ she called.

Ross popped his head around the door. ‘It’s my night off, Miss Evelyn, but I’ve laid a fire in your father’s study, if you want to wait up for him.’

‘Thank you.’

After he left, Evie dressed in soft, lavender-scented pyjamas. She pulled a pair of cashmere socks from the drawer, and hopped on one foot as she slipped them on. ‘I feel like a new
woman,’ she said to Muv. Evie picked the doll up and traced her finger across its bandaged face. ‘Good to see you out and about again,’ she said, carefully replacing the old doll
on the polished cabinet.

In the study, Evie poured herself a cognac from the cut-glass decanter Ross had put by the fireside for her, and settled back in the leather wing-backed chair to wait for her
father. She closed her eyes, her fingers stretching appreciatively over the warm, soft leather.
And she fell asleep for a hundred years
, she thought to herself. She dozed fitfully, dreamt of
the moon, and Beau, his face so real she could reach out and touch it. With a jolt, she woke, and rubbed her eyes. The fire had died down, the coals glowing softly.
What time is it?
Evie
looked up at the ornate gold clock above the mantelpiece.
One o’clock? It’s late for a week night, even for Daddy.

Evie yawned and stretched. She padded around to her father’s desk and flicked on the brass lamp, the green glass shade glowing softly.
I wonder if he’s seeing someone new?
She
tapped a pencil on the leather jotter. The corner of a black-and-white photograph caught her eye, and she flipped the folder open. Lying on top of a letter Leo had been writing was a photograph of
Evie in her ATA uniform. Evie’s gaze travelled to the letter.

Evie’s eyebrow arched in surprise.
He’s writing to Mummy?
Evie picked up the letter and read on, trying to decipher Leo’s tangled scrawl.

‘Most suitable?’ Evie muttered. ‘Daddy told me to stay away from Beau.’

A wave of nausea swept through Evie.

Her hands were trembling as she read on.

Evie carefully replaced the letter and photograph just as they were and returned to the fire. She stoked the coals, her mind reeling, and settled back into the chair, tucking her feet beneath
her.
What illness?
She took a gulp of the cognac.

She heard the sound of the car pulling into the driveway, and her father’s voice bidding Cullen goodnight. The front door slammed shut, and the heels of his shoes clicked across the marble
floor towards the study. Leo swept in and tossed his briefcase and coat onto an armchair.

‘Evie!’ She ran to him, buried her head on his shoulder. ‘Is everything alright darling? What’s wrong?’ He led her to the old Chesterfield in front of the fire.
‘Come on, darling, sit down. Let me get you a cognac.’ He glanced over. ‘Oh, I see you already have one. What is it, darling? Is it Alex?’

Evie shook her head. ‘No, he’s fine, as far as I know.’ She looked at her father. ‘Daddy, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me you’re
ill?’

Leo’s gaze fell. ‘How did you find out?’

‘I saw the letter you were writing to Mummy.’

Leo playfully smacked her hand. ‘Evie. You know what they say about curiosity …’

‘Daddy?’

‘I’ll be fine, don’t you worry about me.’ He could see she was waiting for an explanation, and sighed. ‘It’s cancer, darling.’

‘Cancer? Oh God!’ Evie’s hand flew to her mouth.

‘Now look, this is exactly what I didn’t want. After everything you’ve been through …’ He hugged her tightly. ‘I don’t want you worrying about your old
man, do you hear? I have excellent doctors, and they don’t call me Lucky for no reason.’

‘Stop it, Daddy.’ Evie settled back on the sofa, holding his hand. ‘How long have you known?’

‘A few months.’

‘And?’ He suddenly looked very fragile to her as he shook his head silently. ‘Well, that’s it. I’m moving back in.’

‘You don’t have to do that, darling. You have your own life now.’

‘Nonsense, I want to help take care of you. First thing tomorrow I’ll go and pick up my things from the cottage.’ Evie touched his face gently. ‘I’m here now,
Daddy. It’s all going to be alright.’

52

‘It is good to talk to you, Stella. It’s been ages. You wouldn’t recognise the place. Some woman called Jackie Cochran has turned up with a bunch of
Americans. It’s great fun. So, have you changed your mind? Are you coming back?’ Evie covered her ear, the noise of the mess cutting into the phone booth.

‘I’m not, Evie, I’m sorry. Or at least not yet. I might put in for a transfer eventually,’ Stella said. ‘I’m feeling so much better, but seeing David again, I
just can’t leave him for so long next time.’

‘Has there been any news of your mother?’

Stella fell silent for a moment. ‘No,’ she said. ‘All we know is she’s in a POW camp. There’s been no news of Reggie at all. Richard’s father has been so
kind, trying to help me find out more. It’s unbearable to think of what they all must be going through.’

‘Keep strong, darling, for David.’ Evie twisted the flex of the phone around her finger. ‘What about you? What are you going to do now?’

‘I’ll stay here for a while. George and Sarah have been so good, I didn’t feel I could just go. In a funny way it’s like we’ve been living in a bubble. I
can’t believe it’s March already. What’s been happening with you?’

‘Busy as ever. Daddy seems to be doing well.’ Evie leant against the wall of the phone booth. ‘Oh, and we had a visit from King George and Queen Elizabeth at the
pool.’

‘No! How exciting.’

‘Archie was as pleased as punch – he was tasked with being an escort for the day. The Queen seems lovely. She shook everyone’s hand and spent ages talking to
Pauline.’

‘What about you? Have you been out much? I hope you haven’t just been sitting around waiting for Beau to turn up.’

‘I’m fine.’ Evie hoped she sounded convincing. ‘When I’m not flying, I’m busy at the house taking care of Daddy.’

‘I hope you’re taking care of yourself too?’

‘Don’t worry about me. I went to a preview of
They Flew Alone
the other night with a few of the girls.’

‘Was it good?’

‘It was fun – Anna Neagle was good as Amy – but they made women pilots seem frightfully glamorous.’

‘Did they? Isn’t that hilarious.’

‘If only people knew. They delivered a new top dressing for the runway, and the damn stuff was full of rusty nails. Took them a while to figure out why all the tyres were bursting on
landing. We’ve all been crawling around on our hands and knees for the last few days.’

‘Sounds
very
glamorous.’

‘At least now they’ve found some big magnets and they’ve got trucks sweeping the field.’

‘Do you think it was sabotage?’

‘No, just a ruddy cock-up.’ Evie put some more coins in. ‘It’s all going ahead with the farm, by the way,’ she said. ‘Daddy drove up to Wales to meet Rhodri
and they hammered out a fair deal. It’s ours, Stella, whenever you’re ready.’