Beauty Chorus, The (43 page)

‘Evelyn …’ Beau’s voice was low.

She jumped. ‘My God, I thought you were asleep.’

‘So you thought you’d have a poke through my private papers?’

Evie blushed. ‘I’m sorry. I noticed the letter last night and I—’

‘You couldn’t resist the temptation?’ He beckoned for her to come over. ‘Where are you going anyway?’ he mumbled sleepily as he pulled the letter from the envelope.
‘Come back to bed.’

‘I have to get to work,’ she said, kissing his cheek as she reached across for her watch on the nightstand.

‘Look.’ He handed the letter to her. ‘I have nothing to hide from you.’

Evie leafed through the pages of frantic scrawl. ‘Oh dear, she’s not taking this very well.’

Beau sighed wearily. ‘She’s never been easy. I dread to think what she’ll do when she finds out about us.’

‘Will you tell her?’

‘Yes. I think having received this it’s better if I do it face to face.’ He caught Evie’s hand, kissed it. ‘You never have to doubt me, you know.’

‘I know.’

‘I could get used to this.’ He yawned, rubbing at his eyes. ‘It’s quite a novelty being the one left in the bed in the morning.’

‘If you want to make yourself useful, there’s a load of wood in the back that needs chopping, and Monty could do with a good ride …’

‘So could I.’ He pulled her into the bed, pinning her down as she laughed.

‘Later.’ She kissed him. ‘You will be here won’t you?’ Evie turned as she ran to the door.

‘Yes.’ He settled back on the pillow, one arm behind his head.

‘There’s no food in the house.’

‘I’d noticed. If I don’t fancy the pickles I’ll get a bite at the Bell. I thought I might take you out dancing tonight – Sunny’s perhaps?’

‘Sounds fun.’

Beau reached over to her bedside table and picked up a book. ‘Instrument flying? Evelyn …’

‘Yes, I know it’s naughty but I want to be prepared.’

‘Don’t tell me you were a Girl Guide?’

‘Actually I was.’

‘You’re adorable. Fly safely, Miss Chase,’ he said in his instructor’s voice, ‘and remember the four C’s—’

‘Compass, chart, clock, common sense.’ She mock saluted him, then blew him a kiss.

WINTER

47

The Christmas lights on the tree cast pools of coloured light on the wall beside the fireplace. The girls had strung holly and ivy around the framed sketches of Eve and the
angel that hung above the hearth.

‘Have you heard from Beau?’ Stella looked up from her knitting.

Evie yawned as she shook her head, and covered her mouth. ‘Sorry. Gosh, I am sleepy. That wine with supper has knocked me out.’ She was reading her instrument manuals, curled up in
an armchair as they listened to the radio. It was bitterly cold and she was wrapped up in cashmere socks and a ruby scarf. Snow fell steadily from the dark sky outside, drifting on the windowsill,
and Stalin lay sleeping as close as he could get to the fire, a faint smell of singeing fur in the air.

‘That was a smashing meal,’ Michael said. ‘I didn’t think I liked pheasant.’

‘Ross delivered them. I think Daddy is trying to win me over. Ross said he hoped he’d see me for Christmas.’

‘What about Beau, Evie?’ Stella insisted. She cupped her cheek on her palm. Her face was rosy from the fire and wine, her words slightly slurred.

‘He’s not terribly big on letters.’ Evie tried to hide her disappointment. Since her birthday there had only been a couple of stilted phone calls. The thought that he might be
seeing Olivia to tell her about them bothered her.
They have so much history together, she thought. What if she manages to talk him round?
She forced the doubts from her mind, and laid down
her book. ‘I’m just glad we’ve been so busy, I haven’t had a moment to think about him,’ she lied.

Michael was sitting on the floor, sketching Stella, and he looked up at Evie. ‘Why don’t you go up and see him? You’ve got a day off coming up.’

She frowned. ‘I would if I knew where he was based. He knows where I am,’ she said stubbornly.

‘No one really knows what those boys are up against. If he’s flying out of Tangmere on missions, Lord knows what he’s doing.’ Stella said. She glanced up as the nine
o’clock news programme came on the radio, and turned up the volume.

‘Singapore has come under heavy attack by the Japanese,’ the newscaster said gravely. ‘HMS
Prince of Wales
and HMS
Repulse
have gone down with all souls on
board—’

‘Oh no.’ Her hand flew to her mouth. ‘That was where Richard flew. His squadron patrols the South China Sea.’

As Evie watched her, she saw Stella’s face change.

‘You know what that means?’ Stella said. ‘If he’s been killed in action, there’s no need for a divorce. We can get married straight away, and you can stay in the
Church,’ she said to Michael.

‘Stella!’ Evie was shocked. ‘What about everyone else out there – your family and friends?’

‘Yes, I suppose so …’ Stella coloured. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t feel quite myself. I opened my mouth without thinking.’

‘I should jolly well think so,’ Evie said.

‘No, no, I’m sure they are fine.’ Stella tried to make a joke of it. ‘I don’t know about Richard but I’m quite sure my mother will give the Japanese a run for
their money.’

‘Don’t you care what happens to them?’ Michael was looking at her in a strange way.

‘Of course I care.’ Stella threw down her knitting, blue wool spilling onto the floor. Stalin slunk under the chair and batted it away from her. ‘Get off, you damn cat!’
She whacked him, and he retaliated, scratching her hand. Stella sucked at the cut, tasting iron. ‘Now look what you made me do.’

‘I have to get going.’ Michael stood and slowly folded over his sketchbook.

‘Already?’ Stella followed him to the door. ‘Mike …’ she reached out for his arm but he pulled away. ‘What is it?’ Evie diplomatically headed out to
the kitchen.

‘I’m not sure I know you at all,’ he said finally. ‘If you can wish innocent people dead just so we—’

‘I don’t! I’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to say. I’m tired and a little shot up from the wine.’ She rubbed her eyes, her fingertips smoothing the grey circles.
‘Besides, who says Richard is innocent?’ Her face darkened. ‘How can you call him innocent after what he did to me?’

‘He betrayed you, but does that mean he deserves to die?’

‘Of course you’re right.’ She scowled. ‘I’m always wrong. Just ask my mother. Poor old Stella – disappointing daughter, frigid wife, hopeless
mother.’

‘What brought this on?’ Michael frowned. ‘All this bitterness, I don’t know that it’s the best way to start our relationship.’

‘What relationship? It’s a friendship. One day, I hope it will be more.’ She looked at him unsteadily. ‘Michael, every time I go up in a plane, it could be my last
flight. I don’t want to waste any more time, can’t you see?’ She laid her hand against his chest, touched his face. ‘I love you, and I want to be with you.’

He shook his head. ‘I don’t know any more.’

‘What do you mean you don’t know?’

‘You …’ He shook his head. ‘Sometimes you can be very cold.’

Stella saw the look of sadness in his eyes. She kissed him, desperately, her lips searching his, her arms pulling him to her.

‘Stop, please.’ He turned away from her. ‘I can’t do this, your husband …’

‘I want to be with you, Michael, really be with you.’ She ran her hand along his broad back, felt the dip of the muscles at the base of his spine. Gently he pushed her away. ‘I
don’t understand,’ she said angrily. ‘In Wales you said all those things …’

‘It was a wonderful night,’ he said. ‘But we got carried away, Stella. Right now, you are still a married woman.’

‘Just go,’ she said angrily, swinging the door open wide. ‘Why don’t you go and marry yourself one of those doe-eyed little imbeciles who queue up to touch your hand
after every service? Get yourself a good little virgin …’

He stepped out into the snow. ‘Do you mean that?’

In answer she slammed the door in his face. She rested her head against the wood, waiting for his knock, for his voice to call her. In the silence she turned to face Evie.

‘Are you alright, Stella? What happened?’

‘I don’t know,’ she said hoarsely. ‘I think we just broke up.’

‘You shouldn’t have said that, about Richard.’ Evie leant against the kitchen door. ‘God knows we all wish people were dead sometimes but to actually say it
…’ She walked over and put her arm around her. ‘Michael hasn’t broken up with you. He has some big decisions to make, that’s all.’ She gave Stella’s
shoulder a squeeze. ‘What do you say we finish off the wine, old girl? You look like you could do with another drink.’

The girls settled back on the sofa, the dancing flames of the fire illuminating the glass of red wine in Evie’s hand. ‘Why don’t you tell me what’s
really going on? Have you been in touch with Richard since his telegram?’

‘Do you know what I sent back? “You need me? I need a divorce.”’

‘Have you heard anything back?’

Stella shook her head. ‘You know, he thought the Japanese would invade. He wanted David to be safe. Not once did he say he wanted me to be safe. It suited him, me coming to England. I
thought it was a grand gesture, leaving, that he’d come running after us when he realised how much we meant to him, but no, he’s probably been carrying on with that little whore all
this time until he got bored.’ Tears came to her eyes. ‘Oh God, I hope they are all alright. Mummy couldn’t bear to be in some ghastly POW camp, and my stepfather Reggie …
Lord knows what the Japs will do with the men if the island falls.’

‘They want blood, for sure,’ Evie said.

‘The thing is, I don’t know how to start again.’ Stella’s tears fell freely now. ‘Everything … the future was all bound up with Richard.’ She thought
of their friends, the nights spent laughing in the Grill Bar at Raffles. She wondered if she would ever feel that young and carefree again. Where were her friends now, dead or alive? ‘And
now, meeting Michael, I’m so confused.’

‘Was it any help talking to the doctor?’

Stella shook her head. ‘He was very kind, gave me some tablets for anxiety, but they’re no use. They just make me drowsy – I mean look at the state of me tonight, and I
can’t fly like that.’

‘Pills and wine? No wonder you’re behaving oddly,’ Evie said gently. ‘Perhaps you should take a break? I’m sure they’d understand. Why don’t you go to
Ireland in January? You have some leave coming up.’ She tucked her legs up on the sofa and turned to Stella. ‘Think of David. You have your future there. You and your son. There’s
so much to look forward to.’

‘I don’t know. I can’t think ahead. This war … Who knows where we will be this time next year.’

Evie laid her head back against the sofa and closed her eyes. ‘I don’t know about you but I feel like I’ve aged ten years this year.’

‘You’re young, what are you talking about?’ Stella laughed. ‘I’m thirty-two, practically an old crone.’

‘Thirty-two? I thought we were the same age.’

‘No,’ Stella shook her head. ‘I was very firmly on the shelf when Richard picked me. That was half the problem, I think, I was just so grateful. I’d wanted a baby all my
life, and when David came along I hoped it would all be perfect. But then Richard ...’ Stella’s face clouded as she remembered the moonlight, the tropical air, the soft moaning from the
shuttered room. She stood watching them, chilled and nauseous, her husband’s hands encircling the waist of the lithe girl, her dark hair spilling like oil over his arms as she writhed on top
of him. She heard him call out, and then as she began to choke and cry, his voice uncertain, horrified,
‘Stella?’

‘Stella?’ Evie was looking at her. ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’

‘Yes, absolutely,’ she composed herself, blinked a couple of times. ‘I think I shall take a few days off soon. It was a good idea of yours to go to Ireland and see
David.’

‘Good, I’m glad. You’ve had a horrible, horrible time. Richard’s affair, Meggie, everything we’ve been through here. It’s enough to have killed a mere mortal,
Ice Queen.’ Evie nudged her, and Stella laughed through her tears.

‘I think I’m melting.’ She sighed. ‘Oh God, I wonder what will happen to them in Singapore?’

Evie drained her glass. ‘Sometimes I wonder what will happen to all of us. I still can’t believe the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour. Surely the Americans will declare war on Germany
now? At least united we’d stand a fighting chance.’ Evie stood and wandered to the window. As she pulled aside the blackout curtain and looked out at the swirling snow, she thought of
Beau, and hoped he was safe.
What will happen?
she thought.
What will happen to us all?

48

‘Aren’t you coming out tonight to celebrate New Year? I heard the ATA parties are great fun.’ Stella dragged a comb through her hair. She was sitting at her
dressing table in a white cotton dressing gown. ‘A few of the girls are going on to the Riviera afterwards.’

‘No, I don’t feel like celebrating. The news just seems to get worse and worse. I can’t believe they’ve firebombed London. All those beautiful Wren churches, and the
Guildhall …’ Evie flopped down on the bed, still in her uniform. ‘Besides, I’m shattered.’

‘At least the Americans are in the war now.’ Stella glanced over her shoulder. ‘Come on, Evie, we can’t have you moping around here.’

‘I’m not moping,’ she snapped back. ‘I’m just tired.’

‘Listen,’ Stella said. ‘You can’t just sit around waiting to hear from Beau. Get
out, have some fun with other men. He’ll soon be down, you’ll see.’

‘Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make Michael jealous?’

Stella dabbed perfume behind her ears. ‘Yes, it makes me feel better if other men take an interest in
me.’ When she looked at Evie, her eyes were bright and defensive. ‘Michael has the nerve to treat me like some temptation, something he has to resist. When I saw him at the Christmas
service, it was like I was a stranger. Just another one of his parishioners.’ Stella’s head slumped. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, Evie.’