Beautiful Things Never Last (29 page)

             
“That’s the thing, it does. It totally lives up to everyone’s expectations of the
old
-Quinn. But you aren’t her.”

             
But I am.
 
 
 
 
             
I glance over at Shayna and
out her window, I
see a man standing on the corne
r. He has
no coat in this weather
, a bag over his shoulder,
and his thumb up in the air. Shayna follows my eyes over to him
.

             
“Don’t even t
hink about it, Quinn,” she says.H
er voice
is
firm and
laced with a little fear
.

             
“It’s freezing out, Shayna. He looks harmless.” I steer my Prius toward the hitchhiker. As I get closer, I realize he doesn’t lo
ok as benign as I first thought.B
ut still, it
is
cold out. He must
realize that I’m planning on picking him up, because he lets the large duffel he has on his back slide down on his arm and onto the ground, and he flashes a big, toothy (and fine, a little bit creepy
) grin at me.

             
“So help me, Quinn, if you pick him up I am walking home. That means
that
you’ll be alone with that killer.”

             
“Judgmental much? He’s not a killer. Or, it’s not probable.” I shrug. I pull
my car
over to the side of the road and hit the
button
to unlock
the doors
. Shayna reaches back behind her seat and slams the lock back down into place.

             
“Okay, I was wrong. You are the same Quinn. The same, reckless, dumbass Quinn. You made your point. Now take me home and then pick up all the strange men you want.”

             
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
 
 
 
 
             
I’m scouring my fridge for food that isn’t expired since Shayna took all of the Chinese goodies to her apartment and isn’t talking to me, but it appears that Ben hadn’t shopped for anything but Ramen noodles and microwave dinners while I was gone. No wonder he wants me back, how could he survive on this shit?

             
I finally find a few ingredients that I can manipulate into a halfway decent meal when the pounding on the door begins. It’s not a knock. It’s so loud it makes me wonder if the person is getting a running start and careening into the door.

             
“Christ on a cracker, hang on!” I yell.

             
I open the door and for the second time today, Ben pushes past me.

             
“
Y
ou picked up a god damned hitch
hiker
!
Really?
What the hell were you thinking, Quinn?
”

             
I stare back at Ben. Shocked that after what he did, he’s standing here. Angry at
me.

             
“I didn’t—”

             
“
How about we don’t do this
whole routine of
self-destructive bullshit just because you’re hurting again.”

             
I slam the cabinet shut and stomp toward him.

             
“Number one, I didn’t pick him up. Number two, if you think that I’m going to risk my safety because
you
were an asshole, you greatly overestimate what you meant to me.”

             
I watch the
sharp
words leave my mouth, twist through the air and pierce into him.

             
His body deflates.

             
“
You’re right.
Happy New Year,” he says, before turning and walking away.

             
“Ben, wait—” But it’s too late, he’s already stormed out.

             
As soon as I turn to go back into the kitchen, I hear Carter.

             
“He’s right you know,” he says, standing in the doorway. “You’re lashing out because you’re hurt, rather than just talking to him.”

             
“I’m so fucking pissed, Carter,” I say, tossing the package of frozen ground turkey into the microwave to defrost. “So insanely, out of my mind pissed off.”

             
If you’ve never gone mad, you’ve never been in love.

             
“That may very well be. And, really, I’d probably be pretty fucking pissed off, too if I were in your shoes. But let me explain something.
You being pissed doesn’t give you the right to pull shit like this. Not again. And y
ou will not put Shayna in danger because of your anger.”

             
I start to object, but he cuts me off. “I mean it, Quinn. And beyond that, you’re my sister. I don’t want to see you hurt. I don’t want a repeat of the last time shit hit the fan with you and Ben. No hospitals.”

             
“Please don’t,” I say.
The itchiness under my skin returns.
I hate when I have to relive those crazy days. “I wasn’t trying to put anyone in danger, I just wasn’t thinking.”

             
“And that’s gotten you into trouble before, Quinnlette.”

             
“So what am I supposed to do?
I mean, relationships are hard for people that aren’t totally fucked up. For me, they’re just…
”

             
“
You’re not fucked up, Quinn.
Stop
using that as an excuse to quit.
”

             
“And, so, what do I do?” I repeat the question.

             
“
You’ve got two choices right now. You can
walk away, or you can try harder.”

Nineteen

BEN

             
“Orange chicken?” Shayna asks, holding up a skewered piece on the end of a pair of chopsticks.

             
“No thanks, not hungry,” I say.
Quinn’s words are still breaking me inside. Like an ice pic
k
tapping away at my heart, over and over again. I get that she’s
purposely
trying to hurt me
, and
she is. I get that she’s trying to push me away. We’ve been here before. Except this time, I don’t know how to get back in. Because this time, it’s all my fault.

             
“You sure? There’s plenty, especially since that psychopath isn’t going to be joining us for dinner,” Shayna says with a smile that lets me know she’s joking.

             
“She’s not—”

             
“I know,” Shayna nods.
She’s sitting up on the counter with her legs tucked under her.
“
Carter went over to talk to her.H
e’s worried she’
s going to pull a second act of the last time you guys broke up.”

             
“We aren’t broken up,” I say. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I hope it is. I hope Quinn is just angry and we can work this out.

             
Shayna nods politely.
Like it’s all for my benefit. Like she feels sorry for me.

             
“Listen, I’m sorry I put you guys in an awkward position in Atlanta, with Caroline there and everything…”

             
“You know we didn’t tell
Quinn that
we ran into you
because we wanted to, Ben. I mean, you could’ve helped yourself out a little bit and actually showed up at the airport when you were supposed to.”

             
Don’t I know it. There’s no way that I could
ever
feel like a bigger jackass than I do right now.

             
“So, what was the deal, anyway? What’s going on with the precious ex?” Shayna is smirking.

             
I push my sleeves up. “I think I should talk to Quinn first. Then, you know, she can run and tell you everything.”

             
“Probably. You know, I sort of think you’re an asshole for going, though. Just so you know.”

             
“Thanks for the honesty, Shayna.”

             
She flips me off before going back to her dinner.

             
“Seriously, though. You and Quinn have been through so damn much, and you
pull this?”

             
I shift uncomfortably. “I get it, thanks.”

             
“I don’t think you do. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have gone in the first place. Were you trying to sabotage your relationship?”

             
“That’s ridiculous.”

             
“Is it?
Because the way I see it, you’ve got it pretty good, Ben.
You have this girlfriend that loves you. And she deserves
all
of you.
”

             
“Do you think she’ll forgive me?” I ask. Shayna fanc
ies
herself a certified therapist now that she’s completed a whole semester and a half of college.