Beautiful Goodbye (28 page)

I just stared,
I was speechless. Dragging my eyes from Larkin I glanced around the
room and said, "Her name is Evalyn Grace. Evie for
short."

Larkin let out
a sigh saying, "Evie, I like it. She looks like an
Evalyn."

I smiled and
nodded. "When I saw her earlier I knew she was an Evalyn.” I
brought my eyes back to Larkin’s and seriously said, “If you want
to be her dad, Larkin I won't stop you. But if you’re going to be a
dad, be a dad. Don't come in and out of her life."

Larkin walked
up so he was standing next to me and grabbed my hand before saying,
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this."

Shaking my
head and fighting tears I looked up at him. "Larkin I can't do
this. I will allow you to be a father to your daughter, but that's
it. I'm a good enough person to forgive you but I'm not stupid
enough to forget."

Larkin looked
defeated as he said, "Ok. If that's what I can get right now I will
take it. Evie is the most important thing in my life and I want to
be her father."

"Thank you." I
rubbed my face and let out a sigh.

My room filled
back up with those I loved and Larkin left to sit by our daughter.
I saw the looks Sadie and Gage kept giving me but I wasn't sure
why. After a while I was given more pain medication and slipped
back into a comfortable sleep.

**********

Two days after
I woke up Gage, Larkin, and our friends had to return to school.
Gage's parents and my dad also left. My mom stayed with me to help
when I got discharged and to sit by Evie.

There was a
knock on my door before it opened and Dr. Robertson walked in.
“Hey, Jenna. How are you feeling?”

“
I
actually feel really good. My pain isn’t too bad, the Ibuprofen
helps.”

“
Excellent. I want to take a look at you but you seem to be
healing very well. I’m thinking I will release you
tomorrow.”

“
That would be amazing. Do you know when Dr. Tomlin is
planning on seeing me about Evie?”

“
No, but I can call him and let him know you would like to
speak with him.” Dr. Robertson pulled his stethoscope from around
his neck to listen to my heart.

After checking
me and determining I would be good to go tomorrow Dr. Robertson
left my room. Turning to face my mom I couldn’t help the huge grin
on my face.

“
Honey, I am so proud of you. You are the strongest person I
know.” My mom kissed my cheek.

“
Mom, I only did what anyone would do. I have fought hard to
get to the point I’m at but I still have a long way to
go.”

“
It just breaks my heart, sweetie. I know you love Gage, but
he’s not your Larkin. Trust me honey, I’ve been in your shoes. I
was best friends with your real dad and one night we went too far.
After I told him I was pregnant he got scared and left. Then I met
your daddy. I fell in love with him but I was so damn scared he
would leave me too. When your dad, Shane, came back and tried to
step up I almost gave up everything I had with your daddy to be
with Shane. He was what I had considered safe for years. It took me
awhile, and thankfully your daddy waited for me, but I chose who I
loved and not who was safe. Sometimes you just have to follow your
heart and tell your brain to shut the hell up.” My mom ran her hand
down my cheek and caught my chin between her thumb and fingers.
“Honey, I want you to have a love like your daddy and I. I want you
to be happy and enjoy life. I know you would be happy with Gage.
But, he’s not your daddy.”

Sighing I laid
my head back. “Maybe, sometimes there are people who can stay in
your heart but they don’t belong in your life. I think Larkin and I
were meant to love each other for Evie but were not meant to be
together. I picked Gage, I know him, trust him, love him. Maybe not
in the way you love daddy but we are good for each other. I just
think Larkin and I tried at the wrong time. I was still trying to
find myself when he walked into my life.”

My mom dropped
her head and just as she went to speak there was another knock on
my door, and Dr. Tomlin peeked around. “Hey. Dr. Robertson told me
you wanted to talk with me.”

“
Yes. I just wanted to see how Evie was doing and see if you
had a guess as to when she would be released.”

Dr. Tomlin
smiled warmly. “Evie is doing great. We have lowered her oxygen and
hopefully within the next few days she will be off it completely.
She still has her feeding tube, but I want to try a normal feeding
once she is off the oxygen. If she keeps improving like she is I
would say within three weeks, when she’s around 4 weeks old, she
should be ready to go home.”

Letting out
the breath I didn’t know I was holding I let my huge grin take over
my face. “Wow. I can’t believe how much she is improving. Will I be
able to stay with her once I get discharged?”

“
Of course, we have cots for the parents.”

“
Thank you so much, Dr. Tomlin.” I smiled and reached out to
hug her.

After hugging
me Dr. Tomlin pulled back. “Jenna, your daughter still has a long
road but she has done amazingly well so far. I don’t foresee her
having any major issues but I don’t want to count them out
either.”

“
I
just want my baby to be healthy.” I shrugged and chewed on my
bottom lip.

Dr. Tomlin
grabbed the door handle before saying, “And that’s what I’m here to
do.”

**********

The next day I
was discharged and moved all my things upstairs to Evie’s room.
Being a mommy was something I never thought I would get to
experience and here I was watching my baby fight for her life. I
was in awe of this beautiful little angel.

The weeks
seemed to drag but also flew by. After numerous calls from Gage,
Larkin, my family and friends to check on my baby blessing the day
had come to release Evie. She had improved tremendously and Dr.
Tomlin was impressed with how well she was doing. She was gaining
weight, eating like she should, and all her vitals were
great.

On Evie’s one
month birthday she was discharged. Once the last paper was signed
my mom, Evie, and I walked out into the New York air. We had to
stay the night in New York then we would fly to Columbus in the
morning. I couldn’t wait to get Evie home and finally settle into
life as a mommy.

CHAPTER 31

When our plane
landed in Columbus, we walked into the terminal and I never
expected to see such a crowd, all waiting for us. Well, I’m sure
more for Evie. Even though Sadie was twenty six months pregnant, as
she claimed to be, she was still there, waiting for us.

Gage came
running toward us with a huge smile. “Hey, babe! Where’s my girl?”
He lifted Evie from my arms and snuggled her into him, kissing her
cheeks. “There’s my girl. I missed you. I love you,
babygirl.”

Sadie pulled
me into a hug. “Hey mama. You look gorgeous. I hope after I have
this baby I look as good as you. How was the flight?” She held me
at arm’s length and looked me over.

Yes, I was one of those
girls who other girls hated. I had my flat stomach back as soon as
Evie popped out
.
“You will look amazing, too. You’re going to be a total
MILF.”

“
She’s my MILF.” Tyler was laughing as he placed his arm
around Sadie’s shoulders.

I saw Larkin
standing off in the distance, a sad smile on his face. When he saw
me looking at him he shoved off the wall and started walking toward
our group.

Gage wrapped
an arm around me and pulled me so I was flush against him. I felt
nothing, nothing like what I felt with Larkin. “I’m so happy you’re
home. I have missed you and Evie. I have everything set up. Her
room is done and waiting for her.”

Trying to
muster up some feeling of ‘in love’ with Gage I leaned my head up
and kissed him. “Thank you. I can’t wait to get home and settle
in.”

Gage gave me
the warmest smile before grabbing my left hand and kissing my ring.
“Our home.”

Larkin walked
up and stopped beside Gage. He ran his hand through Evie’s dark
brown hair. “She looks perfect. I was hoping I could stop by today
and spend some time with her. I leave for San Diego tomorrow and I
won’t be back for a few days.”

Looking at
Gage I shrugged and said, “That’s fine. She’s your daughter
too.”

I could see
Gage’s mood changing in front of me. But what was I supposed to do?
I couldn’t keep Larkin away from his daughter and if he wanted to
be a dad I wouldn’t stop him. I didn’t want Evie growing up with
the feeling I did. The feeling of not being good enough for your
own father, to wonder what or where your father is. If I could give
this to Evie then Gage would have to accept it.

“
Thank you, Jenna. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
Seeing the smile on Larkin’s face made my chest hurt even more. I
could see how badly he wanted to be the one standing beside me, the
one who was taking me home. But he isn’t because I’m not ready to
face my past and let someone else in.

Giving Larkin
a small smile, I kissed Evie’s cheek and turned to my mom and
asked, “Ready? I just want to get home and sleep in my
bed.”

“
Yes. Let’s get out of here and take your baby home.” My mom
rubbed her hand on my arm and smiled.

The ride home
with my mom and Gage was quiet. I could tell Gage was irritated. I
wasn’t sure what to say and I’m not really sure if I
cared.

Once we were
home Gage carried our luggage inside, setting my mom’s things in
his old room, which was now the nursery and took mine and Evie’s
bags into our room.

Gage turned to
me when we were in our room and said, “I’m so glad my two girls are
home. I was going bat shit crazy without you two.”

Giving a fake
smile and hoping he wouldn’t noticed I said, “Me too. I missed home
and its nice having my things and my bed. My mom leaves early
tomorrow morning, I think tomorrow night I will see if everyone
wants to come over for dinner.”

Gage watched
me as I picked up a very excited Dollie and kissed her head. I sat
Dollie down and was watching her run in circles when Gage said,
“Ok. Sounds good. I’m going to check on Evie.”

I could hear
the sadness in Gage’s voice and my guilt ate at me. Before he made
it to the door I said, “Gage, I do love you. Don’t forget
that.”

Gage sighed
and replied, “I love you, too.”

**********

We were home
two days when Sadie finally went into labor. My beautiful
Goddaughter, Franchesca Belle Hampton, that I shortened to Frannie,
was born healthy and on time. She came into this world just like
her mama, loud and proud.

Life with Evie
fell into place after a few weeks and Dollie loved her. I completed
my finals for school from home and took care of my little girl.
Things with Gage and I were still a little awkward but we made it
work. The two months we had bee home, Larkin came over every day
after he got back from San Diego. He really was a good dad. Gage
and Larkin got along as best they could. I knew they both loved me,
just in different ways.

Gage was
leaving tonight to go to New York for a few days. He was planning
on finding a place for us to live and he also had a meeting with
the Jets. He rolled his suitcase out of our room and stopped by the
front door.

Standing, I
shifted Evie and walked to Gage. “Do you have everything packed and
ready?”

Gage kissed
Evie’s head before he said, “Yes. I’m ready to go. I have a meeting
first thing in the morning then I am spending the next two days
looking at places I have set up to tour. You said you liked the
third place the best right?”

I smiled and
answered, “Yes, but I’m leaving it up to you. You know what I
like.”

Gage pulled me
to him and kissed me softly. “Love you. I will see you in a few
days.” He rubbed Evie’s cheek before whispering to her, “Love you
babygirl. Be good for mommy and I will see you soon.”

Grabbing the
handle of his suitcase, he opened the door and walked down the
sidewalk to the waiting taxi. As he climbed inside he smiled one
last time and waved.

A few hours
later Larkin was walking in and carrying a takeout bag from Olive
Garden, bless him. He sat it on the counter then asked, “Where’s
Evie?”

Pointing to
her bouncy seat I smiled and said, “She loves it.”

Larkin’s face
beamed as he spoke, “I was hoping she would. I saw it with the
butterflies and flowers and instantly thought she would like
it.”

I pulled two
plates from the cabinet and served dinner. I could hear Larkin
talking to Evie and it melted my heart. “Daddy loves you. I hope
you grow up knowing how much I love you and your mom. You two have
given me everything I never knew I was missing. Daddy wasn’t a very
good guy before he met your mommy. I have made a lot of mistakes.
I’m hoping one day your mommy will forgive me and see how much I
love her and how much she means to me. Do you think you could help
me win your mommy over, Princess?”

Nearly choking
trying to fight my tears, I sat our plates on the table and ran
into the bathroom. Staring at myself in the mirror I tried to calm
my nerves. After a few deep breathes I collected myself and I
walked back to the living room. “Dinners ready,” I said as I walked
past Larkin and Evie.