Beautiful Burn (The Maddox Brothers #4) (30 page)

“Which is what?” he asked.

“Help. As in…” I trailed off, feeling my cheeks flush crimson. “I’m a functioning alcoholic, and my family wants to send me to a rehabilitation center.”

“What do you think about that?” he asked, zero judgment in his eyes.

“I think I want to be happy. I think there are a lot of things I want, but I’m afraid to say it out loud in case I screw it up.”

His eyebrows pulled together, hope and desperation weighing down his expression. “Say it, anyway.”

I swallowed, nervous. “I want to be gross with you.”

He laughed once, taking a step and gently pulling me against his chest. He didn’t speak for the longest time, but held me in his arms, touching his cheek to my hair. “Can’t you just say it? Just once?”

I looked up at him, thinking about the way the words would feel on my lips, and what it would do to me if I said them. I wasn’t brave enough for two huge confessions in one day. I lifted up on the balls of my feet, touching my lips to his.

Tyler stood still, letting me kiss him but nothing more. I reached for his hands and guided them up under my shirt until his warm palms were cupping my breasts. His thumb grazed my nipple, and I closed my eyes, letting out a soft sigh.

“I know what you’re doing,” he whispered.

“So?” I said, kissing his neck.

He leaned down, running his tongue from the tender skin behind my ear to the collar of my shirt, then planting tiny kisses all the way up. His hands slid to my back, and he pulled me closer, lifting the shirt so our stomachs touched.

His fingertips ran along my spine, then down to my ass, pulling me closer to him with a gentle squeeze. “Say it, Ellie. I know you do.”

I kneeled down in front of him, and he blew out a flustered breath, perching his hands on his hips. He was instantly hard, stretching from the confines of his boxer briefs. I gripped the elastic waistband and tugged, wet my palm with my tongue, and then reached for him. He groaned as I began from the bottom and licked my way to the base of his shaft.

He involuntarily arched his back and leaned his pelvis forward. My tongue slid, smooth but firm, all the way to his tip, and then I took him into my mouth, humming when I felt his tip graze the back of my throat.

I cupped the base with my right hand, and as I leaned back, I followed with my fingers.

“
Fuck
,” Tyler said, dragging out the word.

I smiled, leaning down again, taking all of him into my mouth, gagging a bit when his hand cupped the back of my head to press himself deeper. I lightly scraped his skin with my teeth as I came up, relishing the low, guttural sounds he was involuntarily making.

Before I could really get started, he pulled away, sitting on the bed. He shook his head. “You sure know how to change the subject. But I’m not letting you do it this time.”

I took the few steps to stand in front of him, tucking my thumb under the waistband of my underwear, pushing them down and grinning when they gently landed on the floor.

Tyler didn’t move, so I reached for his hand, sliding his fingers between my skin. As I moved his fingers in circles, I leaned my head back and moaned. His fingertips slid more easily the wetter I became, and I could tell his resolve was weakening.

I inserted two of his fingers and two of mine, moaning loudly. He grabbed my ass, and in one motion, turned us and fell on top of me in his childhood bed.

“Say it,” he said, his tip grazing my tender skin.

I looked away from his intense gaze and closed my eyes, my body begging for him to be inside me. “Fuck me,” I said, returning my eyes to his. I reached around, pressing his backside toward me, but he resisted.

“Do you care about me at all?” he asked. “Do you hate me? Is it lukewarm feelings, or we’re really just friends? Whatever it is, Ellie, fucking say it.”

“Why can’t we just do this?” I said, lifting my hips.

He reacted, pulling away. He grazed my jaw line with his lips. “I’ll make you come all night,” he whispered into my ear. “I just need a little honesty.”

“I love you,” I breathed. Before I could finish my sentence, he was sliding inside me and moaning at the same time. I bit his shoulder, trying to muffle my cry as he rocked into me.

His rhythm slowed as he leaned down to kiss me. “Say it again.”

“I love you,” I said without hesitation.

Tyler lifted my knee until it was propped against his chest, sinking deeper inside me. He licked two fingertips and then reached down between my legs, circling my tender skin while his thrusts accelerated. Something began to build inside me, familiar but somehow different. As my insides relentlessly spasmed, Tyler cupped his hand over my mouth to muffle my cries, at the same time overcome and growling into the crook of my neck.

He shuddered, his breath as labored as mine. My neck was arched back as my chest heaved, trying to pull in as much air as I could. Tyler shifted his weight, setting my sensitive insides on fire, causing me to whimper.

He kissed the corner of my mouth, collapsing next to me.

“You promised me all night,” I breathed.

“You can have it. You can have every night.”

He buried his face in my hair, and I stared at the wooden underbelly of the top bunk, hoping Abby was right. I didn’t want to be too crazy to love.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“I feel like we live here,” I said. I hung my legs over Tyler’s lap and wiggled against the uncomfortable armrest digging into my back.

We sat in the terminal with full suitcases in addition to our backpacks, Christmas gifts from Travis and Abby. It was a brilliant gift idea, because neither Tyler nor I had thought about needing extra space for the gifts we would inevitably receive from his brothers.

“Did you call Fin?” Tyler asked. He said the words like second nature, reminding me at least once a week since Thanksgiving to check in with my sister.

“Before we left the house.”

“They still mad that you didn’t come east for Christmas?”

“I did go east for Christmas.”

“Ellie. When are you going to see them?”

“Don’t start,” I said.

“You can’t avoid them forever.”

“I’m just not ready. I will when I’m ready.”

“That’s the tenth time I’ve heard that in three weeks,” he grumbled.

“Really? I’ve already told you. I like my apartment, and Wick isn’t going to let you move in.”

He nodded, plugging an earbud into the ear farthest from me. I smiled, knowing he wanted to keep the other free in case I had anything more to say. He tapped on his phone display with his thumb, chose a song, and then leaned back, holding my legs on his lap with his free hand.

The attendant at the desk called for anyone needing extra time to board, and then for first-class. That was strangely amusing to me, remembering the days when I would already be standing in line with my family, waiting to occupy one of the first seats—and that was before our private jet.

When she called our group, Tyler stood, grabbing my backpack and his, and his rolling luggage. I pulled up the handle on my suitcase and pulled it behind me, giggling at how weighed down Tyler looked.

“You got it?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, baby, I got it.”

I stopped mid-step, watching him take a few steps before he realized what he’d said and turned back. “What?”

“You just … haven’t said that since at the diner with Sterling.”

“When I kissed your cheek?” He chuckled, lost in the memory.

“Yeah, when I told the waitress you had the clap?”

He frowned. “She still thinks that.”

“Good,” I said, shouldering past him.

We checked our luggage at the gate and then followed the line down the jetway and onto the plane. We were herded like cattle to 20C and 20D, and Tyler struggled to find empty spaces for our backpacks. He resorted to stuffing mine into the overhead bin across and one row back, and then putting his under the seat in front of him. He collapsed into his seat and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I’m tired. You kept me up all night.”

I pressed my nose gently against his cheek, giggling. “You weren’t exactly objecting.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why would I do something stupid like that?”

“It’s not about flying. You’ve been on edge all morning.”

He thought about what he wanted to say and then sighed. “Just something on my mind.”

“About me?” I asked, sitting up.

“Sort of. Well, yeah, but something I want to talk about later.”

“Well now you have to tell me,” I said.

Passengers were still filing in, struggling to find space for their carry-on luggage. A man a few rows back was swearing under his breath and then barking at the flight attendant.

Tyler looked back, assessing the situation. “It just sucks spending a long weekend with you, and then going home alone to my apartment.”

“You have a roommate.”

He frowned. “He’s never home. He’s always at Falyn’s. Besides, he’s not the roommate I want to come home to.”

I blinked, instantly realizing where the conversation was going. “Is she still coming to the party?”

“She’s supposed to,” he muttered, used to my deflection.

“What?” I said, nudging him. “You don’t like her?”

“They fight a lot.”

“Hmm, I know a couple like that.”

“We don’t fight. Not anymore,” he said. “Not for another few days, anyway.”

“What does that mean?”

“I want you to move in,” Tyler blurted out.

“Where is this coming from? We’re one month in. Baby steps, Maddox.”

He glanced around, trying to keep his voice down. “Maybe I just need a little more commitment.”

I was no longer amused. “What the fuck, Tyler? You’re becoming an overly attached girlfriend. Get a grip.”

“What? It’s not like we just met. Every time I go home, all I see is you. The headboard you made, the decorations … that’s all you.”

“So?”

He spread his knees apart, slumping in his seat. He looked like a pouting child.

“You are being so weird right now I don’t really know how to respond.”

His jaw muscles danced beneath his skin. “I’m not looking forward to this party.”

“Okay…?”

“I’m worried that things will get awkward. And we’re in a fragile place anyway.”

“A
fragile
place? Who are you? And why would things get awkward?”

The flight attendant began her announcements, going over the safety information and asking passengers to put their electronic devices into airplane mode. Tyler’s mind was spinning, but not about anything to do with the flight.

“The girl I kissed in Colorado Springs?”

“Yeah?” I asked, bracing myself for what he might say.

“It was Falyn,” he said finally. “I kissed Falyn.” He turned to me, desperate. “It’s like what happened with you and Taylor. She thought I was him, I thought she was flirting with me…”

“You kissed Falyn so you’re asking me to move in with you?”

“Yes.”

I shook my head. “You kissed Taylor’s girlfriend?”

“She wasn’t his girlfriend then.”

“I’m so confused. What does that have to do with me moving in?”

“I don’t know, Ellie, I’m freaking the fuck out. I’ve never—” He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I’m in love with you. You haven’t said it since Thanksgiving. You balk every time I mention moving in. Okay, yeah, I might be a little desperate, but I don’t know what I’d do if you told me to kick rocks.”

“I see.”

Tyler waited for me to say more.

“You’re asking me to move in with you because when I found out about Falyn at the party it would have been easier to keep me from dumping you?” I snapped. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

He winced.

“That’s so … so … romantic,” I growled.

His shoulders sagged. “Do you hate me?”

“Yes, but not because you kissed Falyn.”

He looked down, a little lost. “The last month has been amazing, Ellie. Exactly what I thought it would be. I’ve been sweating New Year’s Eve since I found out she was going to be there.”

“Then maybe you should have told me the whole truth the first time. If you remember, I didn’t care then, either.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Okay, I did, but it wasn’t a deal breaker.”

“You’re right,” he said, angry with himself. “You’re right. It won’t happen again.”

“Kissing Falyn, lying, or asking me to move in with you?”

He turned to me, his eyebrows pulling in to form a deep line between them.

“Wow,” I said. “I think this is the first time you’ve actually been mad at me.”

“It’s not a good feeling,” he said, still frowning.

The plane taxied out to the runway, and within five minutes, the engines pushed us forward, racing down the asphalt and then into the air.

Tyler slid his hand over mine, resting back against the headrest. “I didn’t realize how scary this would be,” he whispered.

“I told you,” I said.

His eyes popped open, and he turned to face me. Even with circles under his eyes and yesterday’s scruff on his face, he was ridiculously beautiful.

“And I said it’d be worth it.” He squeezed my hand. “And it is.”

I grinned. “Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t.”

“That you love me? Why is that so hard for you?”

I shrugged. “Your family says it a lot. Mine doesn’t. It just doesn’t feel natural to say. But I do. Love you.” I had to force out the words, but not the feeling behind them.

He kissed my forehead, and then I leaned over, snuggling against his arm and hugging him to me. He rested his cheek on my head, his breathing evened out, and he slept until the flight attendant began her final announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. Thank you.”

Tyler stirred, rubbing his eyes. “Wow. How long was I out?”

“Well, we’re landing, so a little over two hours.”

“Holy fuck. I must have been more tired than I thought.”