Beats (22 page)

I gasp, curling an arm around his shoulder. “Me?”

He hits a homerun with a rough thrust that knocks me off balance, but of course, he’s there to catch me. God, it’s so much better without a condom. My pussy tightens around his cock, demanding more. Cool air sweeps across my sweaty skin.

“Yeah, you. Because I thought if I had you once, I’d be satisfied.” He lowers a hand to my clit, pinches the barbell, then thumbs the sensitive nub. I wiggle a protest, but he holds me in place with his other arm. Trapped in the best way. Like I am when I’m behind my drums.

He resumes slow thrusts, the bead implants rubbing the underside of my pussy. I need them in the front. On my clit. Not that his fingers aren’t doing a bang-up job there already.

Lips fall on my collarbone and lay a trail of steamed kisses up to my ear. “But you didn’t satisfy me, Jinx. You fucking
haunted
me.”

I jerk back to see if he’s kidding. His face is totally sincere, encumbered by thick emotion.

For
me
?

All motion stops. “I don’t understand,” I whisper. I’m overwhelmed by him, by these words, the liquid heat coursing through my limbs and stealing sense from my brain.

His cock twitches inside me. He presses a kiss under my chin. “You haunt me. When I’m with Rax, I see your face. When I sleep, I dream of you. When I play guitar onstage, your beats drive me.

“I tried to deny you. Blew you off after you caught Rax and me jerking off because I didn’t want you to know that side of me. I thought it would disappoint you. You were way too pretty and pure for a fuck-up like me.

“When you walked in on Rax and me with the groupie on the bus, you tried to kiss me. I came undone. I wanted so badly to hold you and fucking make out with you for an hour. But Rax was there, and he wouldn’t have liked it. That’s the only reason I didn’t throw you on the couch and rip into you like a murderer eating his last meal.”

I turn in his arms, and he slips free of my pussy. Wrists resting on his shoulder, I peer into his silver eyes, and find raw openness there. “I had no idea you felt that way about me. I thought I was alone.”

He cups my chin and presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Never, baby. You bet your sweet ass I’m
always
here for you.”

Gush.
“I may not understand your…proclivities, but I’m certain about one thing. I’m head-over-heels crazy for you. So crazy that I’m willing to venture out of my comfort zone and try some…sexual things I never considered before. I can’t be Rax, but I’ll be your Gianna if you’ll let me. Give me a shot at making it work. That’s all I ask.”

I hadn’t planned on sharing my deepest feelings with him, but it’s pretty damn freeing to put it out there. Still not mentioning the L word, though. There’s plenty of time to grow toward that.

“Then, I’ll only ask this once. If you say no, I drop it and never bring it up again.” His hands rest on my hips, his eyes lock onto mine, pinning me, daring me to try to look away.

I nod. “Okay.”

“I want you to hit me, Jinx. Beat the shit out of me. Use my body as your kit. Find your rhythm under my skin and build a song. Out of me.” The resolve in his face confirms he’s dead serious.

I clam up. He could have asked me to do
anything
in the world, but this…this is the one thing I
really
don’t want to do.

In my mind, hitting is fueled by anger, not love. That’s why it was so easy with Rax. A ball grab-and-twist in the heat of passion is one thing, but Toombs wants me to use violence against him. To
intentionally
hurt the man I care about.

“I can’t hit you. That would be—” Exactly what he wants. I falter. “I’m not sure I can do that.”

His nod doesn’t hide his disappointment. But his lips forgive me with a gentle suckle on my breast, followed by a long, deep chaser on the mouth. Barely a taste of tongue, soft undulations of his masterful jaw working my lips into a tizzy. Heated blood scalds my skin, warm breath tickles and teases.

Warring with myself, I push him to his back and climb on top of him again. I grab his cock and stuff it inside me. God how he fills me. He’s scarred silk. Striking and soft, but damaged. I wouldn’t have him any other way.

How can I deny him his identity? Maybe if I had one of my own, I’d understand him better.

The beads lodge just right against my throbbing clit. I pry my legs wide open to give every bit of myself to him. Each lunge and retreat riles the metal stud, producing gasps and moans rivaling those of a porn star. He maintains a swing rhythm, perfectly matched to the backbeats I played earlier. It’s slow enough to keep me from coming, but fast enough to make me increase my own tempo in hopes of bringing that shit on.

Forehead pressed to his, breasts resting on his wiry chest, I stare into those mesmerizing orbs and tremble at the onslaught of emotion he drags out of me. Nervous energy explodes in my gut. Instinct sends my thoughts straight to my drumsticks. Where are they? I want to hit something.

Fuck this hemming and hawing. I
can’t
deny him.

I love Toombs Badcock. I’m going to give him what he needs. What I need too.

I feel around the bed for the wood.
There.

A new song forms in the recesses of my mind.
Skip-da-da-doo. Tap-tap. Skip-da-da-doo. Crash. Choke. Skip-da-da-doo…

Syncopated ghost notes appear in the rhythm floating through my brain waves. I greet his cock with punches of accent notes in perfect time with his lunges.

Still straddling him, I lift my torso and ride him like a horse that refuses to be tamed. Hips roll with the swinging notes. Beats emerge. And I tap the sticks on flesh.

Gently.

Pleasure saturates his eyes, beaming pure, unabashed lust. I feel the horse breaking beneath me, giving in to each crack of the wood, submitting. “Yes,” the beast says. “Just like that.”

His thrusts shift the rhythm. We speed up together. I hit him harder. I don’t want to, but I must increase the tempo to keep up, or he’ll leave me behind. I can’t do this alone. I need him with me. Faster, faster we go. My wrists no longer obey me. They’re fixated on delivering the beats I promised.

“Give me your anger and pain and frustration,” he says. “Pour it all into me. Let me bleed for you, baby. Let me hurt for you. Let me carry the weight of your world. I’ll take it all for you.”

As I pound harder and faster, sticks nothing but a whir, his pelvic stabs forming the bass beat, his thumb roughing my clit to the brink of pain, I let go of every inhibition and cut loose a battle cry. With it, the wall keeping me from reaching my goals shatters, crumbles around us. And the beats rush to freedom through that dam. Hundreds of grooves manifest. Enough to power twenty albums. The cadences play simultaneously, parallel to one another, yet I can feel each one’s uniqueness.

“That’s it, baby.” Toombs grins. “Now, fall. I’ll catch you, Gianna. I promise.”

I believe him.

I ride his cock to climax, spine twitching, stomach muscles stretched, head thrown back, body exposed. My clit erupts with a mind-numbing orgasm. The only thing my eyes register as a tidal wave of intense pleasure drowns my body is Toombs’s smile. He watches me through heavy lids, panting, accepting my beats reddening his flesh.

And then he lets go too. He withdraws his cock from between my legs and shoots white hot cum all over my pussy, up my belly, into the corners of my thighs—every-fucking-where. A low moan escalates as the orgasm nears its end. “Goddamn it, Gianna.” Another stripe drenches my clit. I slide my finger through it and suck him off. “Goddamn you for making me love you so fucking hard.”

Must be the endorphins or something, but I laugh. I’m so high on him, on this intense pleasure ride we shared—

Holy shit, did he just say he loves me?

I fall on top of him, squashing his cock against my belly, drumsticks lost somewhere in the sheets, my hair fanned around us. My lips flavored with his cum, I kiss him. Tongue, teeth, heavy lust. His body stills beneath me. The puddle of cream between us—a combination of his and mine—is a sticky, delicious mess lubricating our skin. I twist my hips and grind my cunt on his softening cock.

I lick a dab of white off his stomach and feed him a taste of himself using my tongue as a spoon. “Did you say you love me, or was that my imagination?”

He sighs against my lips. “Fucking truth.”

“So that wasn’t the heat of the moment talking?”

He swipes the tangles from my face with one hand and clutches me tightly to his torso with the other. “Maybe a little.”

I laugh. “You’re a bastard.”

“And you’re a drummer again. Did you feel that, Jinx? We made something much bigger than music. We made love.”

Tears launch a surprise attack on my ducts. “Is that what it’s called? Because I could seriously do that five times a day for the rest of my life.”

“I know you’re not into it like I am, but I’ve never had someone beat me so fucking hard. You’re art in motion. Passion and delicate skin and perfection. I could die happy after that, but the thought of you ever doing that shit to another guy makes me want to fucking punch a brick wall.”

“I didn’t think I could do it.” I sit up, and my gaze falls to the results of my handiwork. Oh my God. I run my fingers gently over the numerous blackening spots on his chest. Shit, I really beat the crap out of him. The trapped tears break the dam wide open and course down my cheeks. Panicked, acidic regret eats holes through my stomach. I press kisses to the bruises, whispering to each one, “I’m so sorry.”

He sits up suddenly. The fury in his eyes zaps me like a bolt of lightning. “Don’t you ever fucking apologize for hitting me.” He spreads his arms wide. “Do I look hurt to you? Fuck, I could come again right now if you told me to.”

His rigid cock points at me. He chokes it and thumbs the droplet leaking from the head. “You could beat me all night, and I’d never get tired of it. This is who I am, Gianna. You asked for nothing but gave me what I needed. Unconditionally. And we got a drum groove out of it. That’s all I ever wanted. For you to find your rhythm again so you could be the musician you were born to be. So fucking proud of you.”

Toombs leans close and gives me the only thing
I
need. His love in the form of a gut-wrenching kiss.

“Goddamn you for kidnapping my soul and holding it for ransom. I hated you for coming between me and Rax, but now I’m so glad you did.” He looks down at his bruises and touches one tenderly. His eyes fill with satisfaction. “My soul’s yours to keep and beat and love if you’ll have it.”

He’s gotta be kidding. “I’ll cherish yours if you’ll cherish mine.”

He smiles. “You’ve got a deal.”

“And we’ve got a song.” I hold up the drumsticks. Jesus, do we have a song.

Only question left is can we mine nine more like it in a couple of days?

Step Eleven:
Grab Him by the Balls and Never Let Him Go

Rax must’ve stayed out all night. The next morning, he’s not in his room when Toombs knocks on the door. This can’t be good. I’m scared to death that Rax will never forgive me. What if I broke up the band?

Letty spills into the hallway, a shaky mess of unsteady limbs and groans, hair a tangled red nest. She lays a palm on her forehead. Her face drops when she sees me. Wincing, she hesitates and then shuffles my way.

“I might have to puke, but first I gotta tell you I’m sorry about last night. Shades said I ratted out Rax when I was drunk. Must’ve lost my fucking mind. I suck, dude.”

I nod. “Yeah, you do.”

She looks surprised that I agree. She’d better get used to it. Gone is the quiet, shy Jinx who always kept her opinions under wraps. The new and improved model plans to stand up for herself from now on.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t forgive a mistake.

I open my arms to Letty, and she falls into me. Our hug is short-lived.

“I’m just gonna…” She pins two fingers to her lips and bows out her cheeks, then runs down the hall to the bathroom. Heaves and toilet water splatters follow. I cringe and lean against Toombs.

Shades comes up the stairs bearing two cups of steaming coffee. “Hey. Sorry about Letty. It’s hard to believe
I’m
the responsible one in this relationship.”

Toombs waves him off. “You seen Rax this morning?”

Shades shakes his head. “Not since you wailed on him last night.” He takes a sip from one of the cups. “We gonna need to hire a referee so we can record this album?”

“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Rax whenever his sorry ass shows up.”

“Look, I shouldn’t have kept quiet about Rax, Letty, and me, but I really think he was trying to protect you. He didn’t want to hurt you.”

Toombs clenches his jaw and nods. I’m pretty sure I know what he’s thinking:
He didn’t want to hurt me, but he gave into his desires anyway.

I take Toombs’s hand and give it a squeeze.

Letty wanders out of the bathroom, wiping her mouth with the back of a wrist. Despite her pale complexion, she’s still got a sense of humor. “Have you guys finally admitted your feelings for one another? Or do we have more work to do? Is there any further need for Letty Dillinger’s Twelve-Step Program in your life, Jinx? And don’t forget, if the advice failed, my satisfaction guarantee stands.” She smothers a smile and quirks a sideways look at Shades.

“No, we’re good.” I glance at Toombs, who seems mildly amused.

“You’re taking relationship advice from
Letty
?” he asks.

“I never said it was
good
advice.”

Letty stomps her foot. “Hey now. You gotta admit at least
some
of it came in handy. Right?”

“Well…” I feel a blush creep into my cheeks. “Maybe the part about telling him I love him with a song.”

“I never said to do that.”

“Yeah, you did. When you were wasted last night. It may be the only piece of advice you gave me that actually worked.”

“Fuck that.” Letty’s jaw drops, and she flips me a bird. “Okay, smart-ass, how about this one? Step Eleven: Grab him by the balls and never let him go.” She slaps a palm to Shades’s scrotum to demonstrate.